by Kelly Ethan
Elspeth shrieked as she ran past, “Aieeee.” She leaped onto the back of a walker and salted the man’s head before shifting onto another body. “I see you, Marjorie Thistle. Don’t think I don’t know you stole my hair-loss recipe. I’m coming for you.” Elspeth sang the last word and took off running, her late nemesis in her salt-killing sights.
Xandie sighed. “Elspeth’s enjoying this way too much for a calm peace-loving Harrow witch.”
“I got news for you. I don’t think any of the Harrows are calm.” Priss pointed to Xandie’s cousins flinging salt along with obscenities at the dead walking.
“I guess peace is overrated when you’re trying to stop a mob of dead party crashers.” Xandie pushed away from the building. “Come on, we have to find the cauldron.” She figured zombie Archibald would stick to his family, his mom. All they had to do…
Priss interrupted Xandie’s battle plan. “Look. Is that him?”
A lone figure shambled its way toward Adelind and Ronald Penne as they hid behind the wooden bier. The cauldron hung loose from the dead man’s hand.
Xandie and Priss took off running, dodging any animated flesh that came their way.
Adelind screeched and flamed at Archibald. But he still mindlessly walked toward them. Moving away from Ronald, the dragon readied herself to transform, but Archibald only focused on Ronald.
“I thought he’d want to be with his mother. Why focus on his uncle?” Priss yelled at Xandie as they bolted toward the dragons.
“I have no clue. Whatever the reason, we need to get that cauldron.”
Xandie sped up, puffing. She gasped words out between gulps of air, “I need to stop eating Lila’s butter puffs.” As she ran closer, Xandie heard Ronald yelling at Archibald.
“No, no. Not now. Stay back, Archibald.” He produced a flame, but it weakened and sputtered before dying out.
Archibald focused on Ronald. A noise above Ronald’s head drew Xandie’s gaze. Elspeth crawled commando style across Archibald’s supposedly last resting place. Xandie grabbed Priss by the arm, pulling her to the side and out of range.
Ronald noticed and ranted at Xandie and Priss. “The great librarian and a dragon slayer afraid of a dead dragon?” He scoffed and his face distorted as he continued to screech at them. “Help me. I’m a Penne, you have to help me.”
Archibald’s bland face rippled as he listened to Ronald’s voice. His face jumped from non-responsive to enraged. He lunged at Ronald, but it looked like Elspeth would get there first.
With a cackle, she launched herself into the air and dropped. A heavy octogenarian smack-down, right on top of Archibald and Ronald.
Ronald squealed and crawled out from underneath her and scrambled away. Archibald tried to follow, but Elspeth held him down and sat on his back. Elspeth flipped open the lid of her salt bottle and grabbed the cauldron from Archibald’s loose grip. She whistled while she sprinkled salt onto the cauldron and swirled it around. Steam rose from the heated cauldron and over Archibald, spreading across the funeral home grounds.
Archibald shuddered and lay still, not a move made.
Xandie glanced around the cemetery. Bodies had dropped, unmoving.
Elspeth clambered off the now permanently dead dragon and rubbed her hands in glee. “Right oh. Dead people dealt with so who’s up for barbecue ribs? I’ve got an appetite.”
Holly sidled up to Xandie and gagged at Elspeth words. “I think she has witch dementia. There’s something wrong with her.”
Elspeth danced around the cauldron like a boxer winning a bout. “Ha ha. And you’re related to me. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, trust me.”
Priss froze next to Xandie. Distracted from Elspeth’s antics by the approach of the dragon matriarch, Priss elbowed Xandie in the ribs.
“Oomph. Please, you bruise me, you feed me.” Xandie shoved the elbow away and forced a smile on her face as Marjorie Penne approached them.
“Elspeth. I see it pays never to bet against the house,” Marjorie drawled, a twinkle in her eyes, lighting up her dour features.
“Especially the way you play, Marjorie Penne.” Elspeth took a swig of her flask.
“Give it a rest, old woman. The whole town knows most the time it’s filled with iced tea.”
“The key phrase is most of the time. Who knows when that time actually is?” Elspeth winked. “Always keep them guessing, Penne.”
Twin deputy brothers, Caleb and Riley Braun, strode over to the group.
Marjorie cataloged the Harrow girls, and glanced over Priss, then jerked her gaze back. A line formed on her forehead and she cocked her head to the side, staring at Priss. She opened and closed her mouth, puzzling over something. With a slow blink of heavy-lidded eyes, Marjorie Penne turned her attention to the police.
Xandie bit her lip. The brothers didn’t look happy. In fact, they both looked green around the edges and their sister, Melody, stood at the police cruiser, nibbling on a nail. Polish-mad Melody would never deface her manicured temple by a chipped or broken nail, let alone a nibbled one. Whatever was happening wasn’t good.
“Mrs. Marjorie Penne?” Caleb asked the dowager dragon.
Marjorie arched an eyebrow. “I’ve known both of you since were born, Caleb Braun. You know who I am.”
Caleb cleared his throat. He nodded to his twin brother, Riley, who produced a paper and read from it.
“Marjorie Penne, the Point Muse Police Department has a warrant to search your dragon hoard for multiple artifacts stolen from Point Muse residents. We have credible evidence that suggests they are at your residence. Officers have been dispatched already to execute said warrant. Here is your copy. Duly notarized by the parties involved. Thank you for your consideration and your cooperation.” Riley let out a huge breath and extended the paper with a shaky hand to the dragon.
Marjorie reached out a hand tipped with shining silver claws. She speared the paper and read it before answering. “Then I suppose you should do your job and I’ll be there to make sure they discharge their duty.” She bared her teeth and spun, taking Es with her.
Xandie watched as Adelind and Belle trailed behind Marjorie as she sailed toward the car park. Of Ronald Penne there was no sign.
The necromancer owners gestured to their gathered workers, including Holly, and started removing bodies.
The rest of the onlookers, the Harrows and Priss Makepeace, stared, shocked, at the police brothers.
“Are you crazy, Caleb Braun? Your mother will box your ears,” Lila scoffed at the twins.
Elspeth shook her frizzy lavender hair, disgusted. “Marjorie Penne is not so stupid to get caught by the fuzz. She’ll open a can of dragon whoop ass on you, boy. Say your shifter prayers. Your brother can wipe up the mess when he gets back.” Elspeth hoisted her velvet cape up and stormed away.
Xandie closed her still-open mouth. “What did Agatha say when you told her you were searching Marjorie Penne’s place?”
“She told them they’d better get protection, and she apologized for dropping them on their heads as babies.” Melody slunk up, chewed nails hidden behind her back.
“Like I told our dispatcher…” Caleb Braun frowned at his sister. “We have a credible witness statement that puts the artifacts in the Penne hoard, which sets up motive for Archibald Penne’s murder.”
“Oh. My. God.” Lila threw up her hands. “She’s his grandmother. Do you think her capable of killing family?”
Riley backed his brother. “Anyone’s capable of murder. Just takes a second to snap. We have to follow every lead we find.” He grabbed Caleb and pulled him away. Melody gave a wave to the girls and trotted behind her brothers.
“Zachy bear’s gonna lose it with those two. I feel sorry for them. The Penne family holds grudges like nobody’s dragon.” Lila shook her head in shock.
“That isn’t news to me.” Priss shoved her blond curly hair into a bouncy cheerleader ponytail.
Es jogged back toward the girls, the rest of the clan absent f
rom view. “Xandie. Grandmother wants you and your family to come up to the compound. She needs witnesses. And she wants to remind you of your obligations to the library and Point Muse.”
Lila grab Xandie and Priss and towed them toward the car park where Elspeth stood waiting. “We’re coming. I wouldn’t miss this for a hundred butter puffs.”
Xandie bit her lip. Was Ronald Penne right? Was Marjorie involved in the gallery fraud and the missing artifacts? And what had happened to the police finding the missing Iris Malone?
Finding Iris Malone was easy. Her crispy fried body sat in the center of the Penne hoard, the art dealer’s hand stuck to a missing artifact—the wish stone from the gift shop.
“It didn’t help Iris,” Xandie muttered in an aside to Lila.
“This town has gone murder happy since you arrived.” Lila extended a foot and shoved a priceless gold plate out of the way. “I need to upgrade my serving-wear at the café. This gold stuff would look smashing against my food.”
“Shouldn’t we focus on the fact there’s another dead body in front of us?”
“Come on, Xandie. It’s a frame up. Marjorie Penne would never murder anyone herself. She’d have just ordered a hit.” Lila choked on her spit when Marjorie Penne strode over to Xandie.
“Alexandra, you need to find out who did this. Who desecrated my hoard? Do this and the Penne dragon clan owes you a favor.” Marjorie swept a hand around the room. “And that’s worth more than the gold in this room.”
Xandie swallowed. “I’m not sure the police agree. The department will be as thorough as possible—”
Marjorie cut Xandie’s words off with the slice of her hand. “We both know the boys are inexperienced. I’ve contacted the paranormal investigative group and I’m trying to get in contact with Zachary Braun, but there’re no guarantees he will be home before another person dies. You need to find the killer and clear my name.”
Marjorie’s stress was obvious to Xandie. The dragon’s smooth silver bob was in disarray. Hair stuck up every which way. Twin red spots on both cheeks burned along with the fire flickering in her eyes.
“And the great Marjorie Penne would never stoop so low as to hurt another person? Never cause pain or harm?” Priss hissed at her grandmother, anger in every line of her stiffened body.
Marjorie quirked an eyebrow at the stranger in her hoard room. “And you are? I don’t believe I’ve ever encountered you before today.”
“My name is Priscilla Makepeace, and it’s your choice we don’t know each other. You made your bed, now it’s time you laid on it. Prison colors and all.” Priss stormed out of the room, unable to hide her fury.
“Interesting friend you have there. I’d be more careful in the future who you depend on. She’s a loose cannon.” Marjorie weaved through the hoard like a graceful dancer until she joined her daughters and lawyer, Ronald Penne not in attendance this afternoon.
“Priss and Marjorie walk the same way when they’re angry.” Lila stared quizzically at Xandie. “What’s the plan now your main suspect is crispy?”
“Avoid Priss and Marjorie and stay alive.”
Considering her track record for stumbling across dead bodies and killers, her chances were low on every count.
Eleven
“Xandie, some old weirdo on the phone for you,” Holly yelled over the top of Lila’s lunch crowd.
Old weirdo? That could describe most of the over-sixty population of the town. Xandie took the phone from her cousin. “Xandie Meyers.”
“You want the file or not, librarian?”
The troll investigator. She’d recognize that harsh smoker’s voice anywhere. “It’s paid for, I guess. It can’t hurt.” Hopefully.
“You want me to drop it into your cousin’s bakery?”
“Ah, no.” Lila was the only Harrow aware of Sera’s investigation. Xandie didn’t want to upset the rest of the family. Especially Elspeth. Who knew where the radioactive hex fallout would land if her grandmother found out? And Theo wasn’t having anything to do with the troll fiasco as he called it. “How about the small park next to Elysian Fields Funeral Home? It’s more private.”
“The dead center of town. I like your thinking, sweetheart. Thirty minutes. Time is money, so don’t be late.”
Xandie listened to the dial tone as the troll hung up on her again. Not one for small talk or social niceties. Then again, he was a troll.
“Everything okay?” Holly popped up next to Xandie.
“Yeah, just a library thing. I have to head out. Will you be okay with Lila’s customers until she comes back?”
“Sure. I work here whenever Lila needs help, plus she brought in a fill-in baker while she was at her dentist appointment.” Holly ignored the customer waiting impatiently at the cash register. “She’s dentist phobic, so they always give her something to calm down. She’s a hoot afterward.”
“Excuse me? I want to order now,” the customer interrupted.
“In a minute,” Holly trilled.
“This is unprofessional,” the customer huffed.
Holly rolled her eyes and whispered to Xandie, “I caught Lila sneezing in a complaining customer’s lunch once. Goddess knows how she stays in business.” Holly pasted a fake smile on her face and turned to the woman at the counter. “Sorry. Important bakery business. How can I help you?”
Xandie turned away from the spluttering customer and slipped out the back of Lila’s bakery.
Harrows were trouble magnets, but they were never boring.
Xandie adjusted her position on the rough wood seat. The Point Muse council had opened up a small parcel of land next to the Elysian Fields Funeral Home. Landscapers had turned the plot into a tranquil picturesque garden for any family needing time after a loved one’s funeral. Most days it was a peaceful place to meet a cranky old troll gumshoe. Holly’s bosses, twin sibling necromancers, had laid the walking dead residents of Point Muse to rest after the dragon funeral.
“Geez, you want to meet at a funeral home? You witches have a death wish.” The troll dropped onto the bench opposite Xandie with a long-suffering sigh. The seat groaned under his weight. “I heard about the zombie dragon incident. Nasty business.”
She’d never met a troll in person. Barefoot, the private detective would have towered over an average sized man. He had muscled shoulders and tree-trunk-sized limbs. Hair was gray and coarse and close cropped in a military-style cut and his face was rugged, with large lines grooved into the skin around his mouth and eyes. She’d hazard a guess her gumshoe was a habitual frowner.
“I’m a librarian, not a witch. The death thing’s my cousin, the banshee. This was the quietest private place I could think of.”
The troll dropped the file he held with an ominous splat on the wooden table between them and smirked. “People are just dying to come here.”
Xandie groaned. “Haven’t heard that one. Is this my file?” She tapped the folder in front of her.
The investigator used a tobacco-stained finger to push the thick file over. “Here you go, sweetheart. The nitty gritty in print.”
Bile rose in Xandie’s throat, forcing her to take a quick swallow. She placed a trembling hand on top of it. “That’s a thick file for a simple disappearance.”
“Ain’t no simple.” He puffed his chest out. “Trollish Investigations is a full-service agency. In that file is a background check on all Meyers and Harrow family members.” He lowered his voice. “That grandmother of yours, Elspeth. She’s a scary one. Large parts of her life are blanked out; don’t exist on paper, digital or magical. Her information’s so redacted, it’s just black paper.”
“Elspeth’s always been a tad shady in regard to her background,” Xandie offered with a genuine smile. Her grandmother was mayhem incarnate, but she always had the Harrows’ or Meyers’ backs when necessary. As long as her grandmother had her bedazzled hipflask, the octogenarian was raring to go. “And the rest of the file?”
“Financial checks on both families, cred
it checks. Witch web and vehicle checks. Property and social media searches.” The troll shook his head. “Witchface, witchmention and ask-a-witch had nothing on your mom, but a bucket load on the rest of the Harrows.” He shuddered, causing the table and bench seat to shake. “Your cousins’ and aunts’ photos should be illegal.”
“Any other dark pasts I should know?”
“The Harrows have a few spotty arrests for protesting and sit-ins. A few for illicit substances and disturbing the peace. Just your normal run-of-the-mill witch family in Point Muse. But your mom’s the interesting one.”
Xandie drew her hand away from the folder, afraid to touch it in case the contents leaped out and bit her. “What’s interesting about Miranda Harrow?”
“You could read it yourself.”
“Or you could just give me the highlights and I’ll read it in peace later?” Rip off the band-aid, troll. “My mom?” Xandie prodded the investigator back on track.
“I spoke to old neighbors of your mother. Both here and in Andrews, where she settled with your father.”
“And?” Xandie didn’t know whether the churning in her stomach was from the suspense or the knowledge she was about to get more than she bargained for on her mother.
“Everyone loved her. Not a bad thing said. Except…” He trailed off and shuffled on his seat, looking everywhere but at Xandie.
“Spit it out.”
“When your father left for work, your mother dropped you off at the neighbors and picked you up just before he came home.”
Xandie shook her head. “I don’t remember that.”
“The neighbor did. Full human and chatty. She made great cookies.” The troll licked his lips at the memory.
“What was my mom doing while I was at the babysitters?”
