No big deal. One deception.
Two deceptions.
He’d lied about his kids. She knew the reason for that.
She knew the reason but she didn’t have to like it. And this?
He was explaining again why he’d lied. It even made sense. Sort of. To her head, but not to her heart. If she stayed here he’d explain it all, she thought numbly. He’d explain it reasonably, calmly, making her feel foolish for worrying about being lied to.
Just as Ramón had.
But she was tired of feeling foolish. More, she was sick to death of deception.
She stared down at him and thought, I’ve just made love to a guy I thought I knew.
He owned this cruise line?
She knew the line. The ships were fabulous. If Maud hadn’t brought her she’d never have been able to afford to be a passenger.
He owned it?
How many cruises had he taken?
How many stupid women had he picked up along the way?
She was being unfair. This was Finn. Finn. She knew him. Her heart knew him. He wouldn’t...
How did she know he wouldn’t?
She’d lost her baby by not knowing. By letting her heart rule her head.
By wanting to believe.
And then she heard a whistle. Signalling the end?
She closed her eyes, wanting to block out pain, shock, betrayal. Not just the pain and betrayal of now, but the pain and betrayal of life.
‘Rachel, don’t look like that.’ He swung himself out of the water and went to hold her but she backed away.
‘I don’t want...’ she managed, her breath coming in painful gasps. ‘I don’t want anything to do with liars.’
‘You know there are reasons.’ He sounded logical, she thought. Maybe he thought she was being hysterical.
Maybe she was, but she couldn’t help it. She was suddenly back in a bleak hospital room, looking down at her tiny daughter, seeing where deception ended.
‘Leave me be,’ she said, her voice dead and empty. ‘When Ramón killed our baby and did his best to destroy me I made a vow—that nothing or no one would ever get that close again. For a while, here, now, I forgot that vow but that doesn’t mean it ceases. I’ve slipped up and now I’m back in control.’
She paused and looked away, down into the depths of the rock pool, as if searching for answers.
‘I’ve had a lovely morning,’ she said, her voice becoming gentle. ‘That’s...that’s how I want to remember it. A magic morning in a magic place. I fell in love with your body, but the rest of you...I know you can explain your deception. I know it shouldn’t matter, but it does. It does in such a huge way I can’t begin to describe it. Logical or not, I need to walk away. Maud will say I’m crazy. Maybe I will say I’m crazy, but I don’t want rich, and I don’t want deception. So I guess...I guess, Finn Kinnard, that means I don’t want you.’
Chapter Eleven
NOTHING would sway her. Nothing he could say. Nothing anyone could say. She retired into Rachel-the-Geologist and she stayed there for the rest of the journey.
To his astonishment and frustration—and envy—she even managed to enjoy herself, but she enjoyed herself without him.
She withdrew from him. She made no drama of it. She was civil, even pleasant, but when he greeted her she responded with no warmth, simply a reserve he couldn’t reach.
In desperation he even turned to Maud. Told her all. Waited for her verdict.
When it came, it was bleak.
‘I can see why you lied. She’s talked to me about it, and I can understand the reasons and I can tell her I understand. They even make sense,’ she said bluntly. ‘But this is Rachel we’re talking about, a woman who’s been lied to until her life was almost destroyed. She’s not any woman, Mr Kinnard, she’s Rachel, and although underneath she’s one tough woman, she’s been given a life lesson she’ll never forget. And yes, I know your lies weren’t bald whoppers, but you set out to deceive her. What you haven’t figured is that she doesn’t need you. She’s just learning to be herself again. She has no reason to take you on trust—why should she? I suggest you get on with running your cruise line and forget her.’
‘I’ve fallen in love with her,’ he said, because with Maud nothing less than the absolute truth would do. If it could do anything.
Maud’s expression said maybe it couldn’t.
‘Why wouldn’t you?’ she said, her stern face becoming gentle. ‘She’s one amazing woman. But if you’ve fallen in love with her then you have an uphill battle to prove yourself and I can’t tell you where to start.’
‘I’ve blown it,’ he said bleakly and she nodded.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I believe you have.’
* * *
Montgomery Reef was one of the most awesome places in the world, and nothing was going to mess with the ship’s timetable here. The last cruise had missed the reef emerging from the sea because of Esme and her appalling alternative agenda, but this time the ship was anchored early, a hundred yards from the reef, waiting for low tide. Waiting for the miracle.
Not that you’d know it. From where the ship was anchored, the sea was a vast calm expanse with nothing marring its flatness.
The reef was four yards underwater at high tide, and two yards above at low tide. At high tide there was nothing to see. But, as the tide fell, the ten mile mass of reef emerged, like the Loch Ness Monster, vast and mysterious and a thousand times more amazing than any prehistoric fantasy.
Finn had seen it before but it never ceased to awe him, the vast reef emerging from the sea, the great solid reef becoming a huge plateau, with every side a massive waterfall as the reef’s surface oozed its water back into the ocean.
It was breathtaking, but what he was watching this time was Rachel’s reaction.
She’d been quiet since their time at the rock pool, but she was still determined to take every ounce of enjoyment from this cruise. She and Maud stood together at the ship’s rail and watched the reef slowly rise to the surface, break the clear water and then rise still further.
Turtles were everywhere. They must be feeding on the tiny fishes slipping from the reef’s surface. Standing on the lower deck of the Temptress, you could almost lean over and touch them as they flippered past.
Rachel was truly awed. He watched her face and thought he wanted to be standing beside her, feeling her amazement. She said something to Maud and made her smile. How could he be jealous of an eighty-three-year-old woman?
He was jealous.
She wanted nothing more to do with him.
He had to leave her alone.
He’d figured a strategy—of a sort. Pressure now would get him nowhere. He needed to wait, take the pressure off, then maybe in a few weeks, when she was settled in her job in Darwin, he’d contact her, do a bit of apologetic grovelling and say, Can we start again?
It was the only strategy he could think of.
It seemed a lousy strategy.
Jason was helping Maud and Rachel into an inflatable dinghy—after an hour being briefed on how not to hurt the reef’s delicate eco-structure, passengers were being ferried onto its surface.
‘One seat left,’ Jason called. ‘You, Finn...’
‘Right.’ He stepped into the dinghy and the only seat was beside Rachel.
‘You two seem to have had a tiff,’ Jason said, and grinned as he gunned the little boat away from the Temptress towards the reef. Away from Esme’s dour influence the young tour guide was a lot more confident—and he was growing cheeky. ‘No tiffs on my ship. Kiss and make up.’
‘Kissing transmits germs,’ Rachel said equitably, as if it didn’t matter at all that she’d just been told to kiss. ‘I’ll shake hands instead. Good afternoon, Mr Kinnard. Do sit down and look at
turtles.’
He sat amid laughter from the rest of the passengers. He looked at turtles, and at the stunning emergence of the reef. They cruised the length of the reef and it was like cruising the face of a vast elongated waterfall.
Maud was in the seat in front, talking avidly to Jason.
Rachel was intent on turtles.
He had to lean across her to see. Inadvertently, he touched her.
He felt her flinch and he thought she was acting impervious but there was no way she was feeling as tough as she looked.
He’d hurt her. Badly.
Another woman might react well, he thought wryly, to the news that the guy who loved her was wealthy. But this was Rachel, who’d learned the hard way not to trust her heart.
‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured and she kept right on turtle-watching.
‘I’m sorry, too,’ she said. ‘It shouldn’t be such a big deal but it is. Have you been on this reef before?’
‘I...yes.’
‘Nothing special, then.’
‘I think you could call this trip special,’ he said dryly.
‘You mean you don’t get tossed overboard every time?’
‘Or get to meet you.’
‘We’re not going down that road,’ she said sternly, and he had a sudden vision of her in her new life as a university lecturer. The vision made him blink. It was...sexy, he conceded.
But then, everything about Rachel was sexy.
‘Did you know all that stuff I spouted about rocks?’ she asked suddenly. ‘Do you know that, too? Were you just interested to humour me?’
‘Yep,’ he said. ‘I know it all.’
She swung round from her turtles and faced him, astonished. Then, as he raised one brow, mock questioning, her lips twitched.
‘That’s another lie.’
‘I’m incorrigible.’
‘Finn...’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘I am incorrigible. But I’m also repentant. Maybe in time...’
‘Maybe,’ she said but she went back to her turtles and he thought her maybe was a lie all on its own.
* * *
The reef stunned her. They were permitted two hours’ exploration before the tide changed and the reef sank again into the depths.
Jason and the new tour guide, an eager lass called Marie, watched them every minute, but the passengers had been well briefed. Take nothing but photographs and don’t even leave footprints. Watch as you put each foot down to make sure there’s not some delicate form of reef-life underfoot. They knew the rules. Within half an hour Jason had relaxed enough to allow the passengers to do their own thing, and Rachel could wander from the group and explore alone.
Which was a luxury on a cruise like this. Solitude.
The reef was alive with life, but she needed to look to find it. From the ship, Montgomery Reef looked a great gleaming slab of grey rock. But up close... They called it the upside down reef, for that was what it was. Everything was hidden from the fierce tropical sun, but underneath was a mass of hiding places.
She turned a rock and the colours took her breath away. The giant clams lurking in the depths of the rock pools were harvesting their food—during this time out of water tiny sea creatures were trapped and the clams found their feed. There were fishes and crabs and corals, and so many different types of rock formation she felt as if she could sit down and write a thesis.
If she could stop thinking about Finn Kinnard.
He was talking to Maud. Maud was asking him something—pointing to something in a rock pool.
Maud was the only passenger who knew who he was. He could relax with her.
He could relax with me, she thought, and tried to put the thought away.
It stayed.
Why couldn’t she just go with it? Why couldn’t she walk—carefully—back to them and see what it was they were talking about? Smile at Finn, like Maud was smiling at him?
Why couldn’t she let him into her heart?
Because she didn’t trust her heart, and she wasn’t going there again.
‘Dumb or not,’ she said out loud, and she was far enough away from the group to decide a little conversation with herself was permissible. It was something she’d missed during the cruise—the daily chats to tell herself how she was going, what the next step should be, how to keep putting one foot after another.
Without those chats, her feet had just...stepped, right into Finn Kinnard’s arms.
‘That’s what happens when you let your guard down,’ she told herself. ‘You walk right into a drug bust, you get thrown overboard, you end up castaway and you imagine you’re in love.’
‘I’m not in love,’ she told herself harshly. ‘I’m not.’
She glanced again at Maud—and at Finn. He looked... He looked...
‘Dangerous,’ she said out loud, and she stared down into the rock pool and saw a tiny orange and black fish swim too close to the clam’s giant jaws.
She saw the jaws slide shut.
She shuddered.
‘You thought that clam was a rock,’ she whispered to the now-gone fish. ‘You trusted. That was dumb.’
It was dumb.
She was being stupid. She was in one of the most beautiful places in the world and the most inaccessible—and she was wasting time behaving like a lovesick teenager.
‘Put him out of your mind, take some photographs and enjoy yourself,’ she told herself harshly. ‘Now.’
She tried.
A girl had to be sensible.
A girl had no choice.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE ship docked at Broome on a hot, still Monday morning. Passengers were disembarking, heading to yet more adventures or to the airport to fly home.
Finn watched as each passenger was presented with a magnificent hamper, along with postage vouchers if they wished to send the hamper home, as apology for the drama during the cruise.
With its happy ending, the drama would do nothing but good, he thought. It would achieve national press coverage. Maybe international. Past passengers would read about it and previous problems would be explained. The Kimberley Temptress’s future was assured.
That press coverage could be problematic, though. His cover was now well and truly blown. As soon as passengers disembarked they’d learn that Finn Kinnard was Fineas J Sunderson, owner of the Temptress Line.
It didn’t matter. Rachel already knew.
And he could head to the airport and go home.
But Rachel and Maud were staying in Broome for another week. Maud had told him that.
Maud was on his side. She knew he’d messed up but she was hoping he might be able to fix it.
One week...or wait for months and then come back and visit Rachel in Darwin?
One week...
‘So this is goodbye.’ Rachel was smiling at him, determinedly cheerful, holding out her hand in farewell.
‘No,’ he said and her smile died.
‘Finn...’
‘I need to spend time with the police,’ he said. ‘They’ll want a statement from you as well. Maybe together...’
‘There’s no need for together.’
‘Where are you staying?’ Maud was nattily dressed, ready for offshore adventures, beaming at the two of them. Despite the dramas, the cruise seemed to have done her good.
He told her and her beam widened. ‘Isn’t this a coincidence? We’ll see you by the pool, then—or on a camel. I’ve heard there are awesome camel rides along the beach at sunset.’
‘Mr Kinnard will be too busy to sit by the pool or ride camels,’ Rachel said repressively. ‘He’s here on business.’
But greater forces were at work here. Finn had cleverly discovered where they were staying—simply
by asking Maud. Maud now looked innocence personified, and he thought there were lies and lies. He knew he might very well see Rachel again by the pool—or on a camel. By accident or by design.
‘I would like to see you again,’ he said gently to Rachel, and she flushed.
‘There’s no point.’
‘Isn’t there?’ He met her gaze full on, almost a challenge, and watched while her flush deepened.
‘Don’t,’ she muttered.
‘I won’t. If that’s what you really want...’
‘It’s what I have to want,’ she said savagely. ‘I’m not being stupid for a second time.’
* * *
‘Rachel, he’s all over the Internet. The press is going crazy. It seems he’s been really reclusive but this brought him out into the open—and he sounds lovely.’
‘Finn?’ Of course it was Finn. They were settling into their luxury resort at Broome. Rachel had unpacked and washed her hair, then come through their adjoining suite door to find Maud on her laptop. Someone should tell Maud that eighty-three was too old to dive into computing, she thought bitterly, but Maud had taken to it like a duck to water and had suffered two weeks’ Internet withdrawal. She was now reading international newspapers online. About Finn.
‘His real name is Fineas Sunderson,’ she said.
‘He’s not even using his real name?’ She said it with bitterness.
‘Well, he is, sort of,’ Maud conceded and, despite herself, Rachel sat on the bed and looked at the screen. ‘It says here his father didn’t have any legitimate children. When he died he left the whole shipping line to Finn, on condition that he change his name.’
‘Lucky Finn.’
‘It says there are three known illegitimate children,’ Maud said, reading on. ‘This is from a newspaper article in Maine—the journalist has done some real probing. The castaway story has caught the public imagination and she’s delved for background. According to the article, the old man left the line to Finn either because he was a boat-builder or because he was the oldest but Finn had no greater claim than the other two. So Finn’s taken over the line but he’s splitting the profits three ways.’
A Bride For The Maverick Millionaire (Journey Through The Outback #2) Page 14
