Magic, Inc

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Magic, Inc Page 9

by Robert A. Heinlein


  I butted in - rudely, I suppose - but I was all worked up. But, Your Excellency, if you would just take time to examine this matter yourself, in detail, you would see how much damage it will do!'

  I would not have been surprised if he had flared back at me. Instead, he indicated a file basket that was stacked high and spilling over. Mr Fraser, there you see fifty-seven bills passed by this session of the legislature. Every one of them has some defect. Every one of them is of vital importance to some, or all of the people of this state. Some of them are as long to read as an ordinary novel. In the next nine days I must decide what ones shall become law and' what ones must wait for revision at the next regular session. During that nine days at least a thousand people will want me to see them about some one of those bills-'

  His aide stuck his head in the door. Twelve-twenty, chief! You're on the air in forty minutes.'

  The governor nodded absently and stood up. You will excuse me? I'm expected at a luncheon.' He turned to his aide, who was getting out his hat and gloves from a closet. You have the speech, Jim?'

  Of course, sir.

  Just a minute!' Sally had cut in. Have you taken your tonic?'

  Not yet.'

  You're not going off to one of those luncheons without it!' She ducked into his private washroom and came out with a medicine bottle. Joe and I bowed out as quickly as possible.

  Outside I started fuming to Jedson about the way we had been given the run-around, as I saw it. I made some remark about dunderheaded, compromising politicians when Joe cut me short.

  Shut up, Archie! Try running a state sometime instead of a small business and see how easy you find it!'

  I shut up.

  Bodie was waiting for us in the lobby of the capitol. I could see that he was excited about something, for he flipped away a cigarette and rushed towards us. Look!' he commanded. Down there!'

  We followed the direction of his finger and saw two figures just going out of the big doors. One was Ditworth, the other was a well-known lobbyist with whom he had worked. What about it?' Joe demanded.

  I was standing here behind this phone booth, leaning against the wall and catching a cigarette. As you can see, from here that big mirror reflects the bottom of the rotunda stairs. I kept an eye on it for you fellows. I noticed this lobbyist, Sims, coming downstairs by himself, but he was gesturing as if he were talking to somebody. That made me curious, so I looked around the corner of the booth and saw him directly. He was not alone; he was with Ditworth. I looked back at the mirror and he appeared to be alone. Ditworth cast no reflection in the mirror!'

  Jedson snapped his fingers. A demon!' he said in an amazed voice. And I never suspected it!'

  I am surprised that more suicides don't occur on trains. When a man is down, I know of nothing more depressing than staring at the monotonous scenery and listening to the maddening lickety-tock of the rails. In a way I was glad to have this new development of Ditworth's inhuman status to think about; it kept my mind off poor old Feldstein and his thousand dollars.

  Startling as it was to discover that Ditworth was a demon, it made no real change in the situation except to explain the efficiency and speed with which we had been outmanoeuvred and to confirm as a certainty our belief that the racketeers and Magic, Incorporated, were two heads of the same beast. But we had no way of proving that Ditworth was a Half World monster. If we tried to haul him into court for a test, he was quite capable of lying low and sending out a facsimile, or a mandrake, built to look like him and immune to the mirror test.

  We dreaded going back and reporting our failure to the committee - at least I did. But at least we were spared that. The Middle Counties Act carried an emergency clause which put it into effect the day it was signed. Ditworth's bill, as an amendment, went into action with the same speed. The newspapers on sale at the station when we got off the train carried the names of the new commissioners for thaumaturgy.

  Nor did the commission waste any time in making its power felt. They announced their intention of raising the standards of magical practice in all fields, and stated that new and more thorough examinations would be prepared at once. The association formerly headed by Ditworth opened a coaching school in which practising magicians could take a refresher course in thaumaturgic principles and arcane law. In accordance with the high principles set forth in their charter, the school was not restricted to members of the association.

  That sounds bighearted of the association. It wasn't. They managed to convey a strong impression in their classes that membership in the association would be a big help in passing the new examinations. Nothing you could put your finger on to take into court - just a continuous impression. The association grew.

  A couple of weeks later all licences were cancelled and magicians were put on a day-to-day basis in their practice, subject to call for re-examination at a day's notice. A few of the outstanding holdouts against signing up with Magic, Incorporated, were called up, examined, and licences refused them. The squeeze was on. Mrs Jennings quietly withdrew from any practice. Bodie came around to see me; I had an uncompleted contract with him involving some apartment houses.

  Here's your contract, Archie,' he said bitterly. I'll need some time to pay the penalties for noncompletion; my bond was revoked when they cancelled the licences.'

  I took the contract and tore it in two. Forget that talk about penalties,' I told him. You take your examinations and we'll write a new contract.~

  He laughed unhappily. Don't be a Pollyanna.'

  I changed my tack. What are you going to do? Sign up with Magic, Incorporated?'

  He straightened himself up. I've never temporized with demons; I won't start now.'

  Good boy,' I said. Well, if the eating gets uncertain, I reckon we can find a job of some sort here for you.'

  It was a good thing that Bodie had some money saved, for I was a little too optimistic in my offer. Magic, Incorporated, moved quickly into the second phase of their squeeze, and it began to be a matter of speculation as to whether I myself would eat regularly. There were still quite a number of licensed magicians in town who were not employed by Magic, Incorporated - it would have been an evident, actionable frame-up to freeze out everyone - but those available were all incompetent bunglers, not fit to mix a philter. There was no competent, legal magical assistance to be got at any price - except through Magic, Incorporated.

  I was forced to fall back on old-fashioned methods in every respect. Since I don't use much magic in any case, it was possible for me to do that, but it was the difference between making money and losing money.

  I had put Feldstein on as a salesman after his agency folded up under him. He turned out to be a crackajack and helped to reduce the losses. He could smell a profit even farther than I could - farther than Dr Worthington could smell a witch.

  But most of the other businessmen around me were simply forced to capitulate. Most of them used magic in at least one phase of their business; they had their choice of signing a contract with Magic, Incorporated, or closing their doors. They had wives and kids - they signed.

  The fees for thaumaturgy were jacked up until they were all the traffic would bear, to the point where it was just cheaper to do business with magic than without it. The magicians got none of the new profits; it all stayed with the corporation. As a matter of fact, the magicians got less of the proceeds than when they had operated independently, but they took what they could get and were glad of the chance to feed their families.

  Jedson was hard hit - disastrously hit. He held out, naturally, preferring honourable bankruptcy to dealing with demons, but he used magic throughout his business. He was through. They started by disqualifying August Welker, his foreman, then cut off the rest of his resources. It was intimated that Magic, Incorporated, did not care to deal with him, even had he wished it.

  We were all over at Mrs Jennings's late one afternoon for tea - myself, Jedson, Bodie, and Dr Royce Worthington, the witch smeller. We tried to keep the conversation awa
y from our troubles, but we just could not do it. Anything that was said led back somehow to Ditworth and his damnable monopoly.

  After Jack Bodie had spent ten minutes explaining carefully and mendaciously that he really did not mind being out of witchcraft, that he did not have any real talent for it, and had only taken it up to please his old man, I tried to change the subject. Mrs Jennings had been listening to Jack with such pity and compassion in her eyes that I wanted to bawl myself.

  I turned to Jedson and said inanely, How is Miss Megeath?'

  She was the white witch from Jersey City, the one who did creative magic in textiles. I had no special interest in her welfare.

  He looked up with a start. Ellen? She's ... she's all right. They took her licence away a month ago,' he finished lamely.

  That was not the direction I wanted the talk to go. I turned it again. Did she ever manage to do that whole-garment stunt?'

  He brightened a little. Why, yes, she did - once. Didn't I tell you about it?' Mrs Jennings showed polite curiosity, for which I silently thanked her. Jedson explained to the others what they had been trying to accomplish. She really succeeded too well,' he continued. Once she had started, she kept right on, and we could not bring her out of her trance. She turned out over thirty thousand little striped sports dresses, all the same size and pattern. My lofts were loaded with them. Nine tenths of them will melt away before I dispose of them.

  But she won't try it again,' he added. Too hard on her health.'

  How?' I inquired.

  Well, she lost ten pounds doing that one stunt. She's not hardy enough for magic. What she really needs is to go out to Arizona and lie around in the sun for a year. I wish to the Lord I had the money. I'd send her.'

  I cocked an eyebrow at him. Getting interested, Joe?' Jedson is an inveterate bachelor, but it pleases me to pretend otherwise. He generally plays up, but this time he was downright surly. It showed the abnormal state of nerves he was in.

  Oh, for cripes' sake, Archie! Excuse me, Mrs Jennings! But can't I take a normal humane interest in a person without you seeing an ulterior motive in it?'

  Sorry.'

  That's all right.' He grinned. I shouldn't be so touchy. Anyhow, Ellen and I have cooked up an invention between us that might be a solution for all of us. I'd been intending to show it to all of you just as soon as we had a working model. Look, folks!' He drew what appeared to be a fountain pen Out of a vest pocket and handed it to me.

  What is it? A pen?'

  No.'

  A fever thermometer?'

  No. Open it up.'

  I unscrewed the cap and found that it contained a miniature parasol. It opened and closed like a real umbrella, and was about three inches across when opened. It reminded me of one of those clever little Japanese favours one sometimes gets at parties, except that it seemed to be made of oiled silk and metal instead of tissue paper and bamboo.

  Pretty,' I said, and very clever. What's it good for?'

  Dip it in water.'

  I looked around for some. Mrs Jennings poured some into an empty cup, and I dipped it in.

  It seemed to crawl in my hands.

  In less than thirty seconds I was holding a full-sized umbrella in my hands and looking as silly as I felt. Bodie smacked a palm with a fist.

  It's a lulu, Joe! I wonder why somebody didn't think of it before.'

  Jedson accepted congratulations with a fatuous grin, then added, That's not all - look.' He pulled a small envelope out of a pocket and produced a tiny transparent raincoat, suitable for a six-inch doll. This is the same gag. And this.' He hauled out a pair of rubber overshoes less than an inch long. A man could wear these as a watch fob, or a woman could carry them on a charm bracelet. Then, with either the umbrella or the raincoat, one need never be caught in the rain. The minute the rain hits them, presto! - full size. When they dry out they shrink up.'

  We passed them around from hand to hand and admired them. Joe went on. Here's what I have in mind. This business needs a magician - that's you, Jack - and a merchandiser - that's you, Archie. It has two major stockholders: that's Ellen and me. She can go take the rest cure she needs, and I'll retire and resume my studies, same as I always wanted to.'

  My mind immediately started turning over the commercial possibilities, then I suddenly saw the hitch. Wait a minute, Joe. We can't set up business in this state.'

  No.'

  It will take some capital to move out of the state. How are you fixed? Frankly, I don't believe I could raise a thousand dollars if I liquidated.'

  He made a wry face. Compared with me you are rich.'

  I got up and began wandering nervously around the room. We would just have to raise the money somehow. It was too good a thing to be missed, and would rehabilitate all of us. It was clearly patentable, and I could see commercial possibilities that would never occur to Joe. Tents for camping, canoes, swimming suits, travelling gear of every sort. We had a gold mine.

  Mrs Jennings interrupted in her sweet and gentle voice. I am not sure it will be too easy to find a state in which to operate.'

  Excuse me, what did you say?'

  Dr Royce and I have been making some inquiries. I am afraid you will find the rest of the country about as well sewed up as this state.'

  What! Forty-eight states?'

  Demons don't have the same limitations in time that we have.'

  That brought me up short. Ditworth again.

  Gloom settled down on us like fog. We discussed it from every angle and came right back to where we had started. It was no help to have a clever, new business; Ditworth had us shut out of every business. There was an awkward silence.

  I finally broke it with an outburst that surprised myself. Look here!' I exclaimed. This situation is intolerable. Let's quit kidding ourselves and admit it. As long as Ditworth is in control we're whipped. Why don't we do something?'

  Jedson gave me a pained smile. God knows I'd like to, Archie, if I could think of anything useful to do.'

  But we know who our enemy is - Ditworth! Let's tackle him - legal or not, fair means or dirty!'

  But that is just the point. Do we know our enemy? To be sure, we know he is a demon, but what demon, and where? Nobody has seen him in weeks.'

  Huh? But I thought just the other day-'

  Just a dummy, a hollow shell. The real Ditworth is somewhere out of sight.'

  But, look, if he is a demon, can't he be invoked, and compelled-'

  Mrs Jennings answered this time. Perhaps - though it's uncertain and dangerous. But we lack one essential - his name. To invoke a demon you must know his real name, otherwise he will not obey you, no matter how powerful the incantation. I have been searching the Half World for weeks, but I have not learned that necessary name.'

  Dr Worthington cleared his throat with a rumble as deep as a cement mixer, and volunteered, My abilities are at your disposal, if I can help to abate this nuisance-'

  Mrs Jennings thanked him. I don't see how we can use you as yet, Doctor. I knew we could depend on you.'

  Jedson said suddenly, White prevails over black.'

  She answered, Certainly.'

  Everywhere?'

  Everywhere, since darkness is the absence of light.'

  He went on, It is not good for the white to wait on the black.'

  It is not good.'

  With my brother Royce to help, we might carry light into darkness.'

  She considered this. It is possible, yes. But very dangerous.'

  You have been there?'

  On occasion. But you are not I, nor are these others.'

  Everyone seemed to be following the thread of the conversation but me. I interrupted with, Just a minute, please. Would it be too much to explain what you are talking about?'

  There was no rudeness intended, Archibald,' said Mrs Jennings in a voice that made it all right. Joseph has suggested that, since we are stalemated here, we make a sortie into the Half World, smell out this demon, and attack him on his home ground.'r />
  It took me a moment to grasp the simple audacity of the scheme. Then I said, Fine! Let's get on with it. When do we start?'

  They lapsed back into a professional discussion that I was unable to follow. Mrs Jennings dragged out several musty volumes and looked up references on points that were sheer Sanskrit to me. Jedson borrowed her almanac, and he and the doctor stepped out into the back yard to observe the moon.

  Finally it settled down into an argument - or rather discussion; there could be no argument, as they all deferred to Mrs Jennings's judgement concerning liaison. There seemed to be no satisfactory way to maintain contact with the real world, and Mrs Jennings was unwilling to start until it was worked out. The difficulty was this: not being black magicians, not having signed a compact with Old Nick, they were not citizens of the Dark Kingdom and could not travel through it with certain impunity.

  Bodie turned to Jedson. How about Ellen Megeath?' he inquired doubtfully.

  Ellen? Why, yes, of course. She would do it. I'll telephone her. Mrs Jennings, do any of your neighbours have a phone?'

  Never mind,' Bodie told him, just think about her for a few minutes so that I can get a line-' He stared at Jedson's face for a moment, then disappeared suddenly.

  Perhaps three minutes later Ellen Megeath dropped lightly out of nothing. Mr Bodie will be along in a few minutes,' she said. He stopped to buy a packet of cigarettes.' Jedson took her over and presented her to Mrs Jennings. She did look sickly, and I could understand Jedson's concern. Every few minutes she would swallow and choke a little, as if bothered by an enlarged thyroid.

  As soon as Jack was back they got right down to details. He had explained to Ellen what they planned to do, and she was entirely willing. She insisted that one more session of magic would do her no harm. There was no advantage in waiting; they prepared to depart at once. Mrs Jennings related the marching orders. Ellen, you will need to follow me in trance, keeping in close rapport. I think you will find that couch near the fireplace a good place to rest your body. Jack, you will remain here and guard the portal.' The chimney of Mrs Jennings's living room fireplace was to be used as most convenient. You will keep in touch with us through Ellen.'

 

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