“Or were you fucking the ballerina?”
“What?” I squeaked.
His hand slid under my skirt and between my legs where he cupped me roughly. “Did she lick your pussy clean, Quin?”
“No,” I said, trying to hide my terror. “I’m not gay.”
“Lots of girls experiment, even if they’re not gay.” His hand rubbed me hard and I swallowed the bile threatening to spill.
“I wouldn’t know,” I whispered.
“Not even a little damp,” he complained, removing his hand and letting my skirt fall to my ankles again. “I’m disappointed.”
I said nothing.
It wouldn’t do any good and I could already feel the aches and pains of his new abuse starting to form.
I’d managed to fake my way through the rest of the evening, but arrived home to Michael’s rage on overdrive. He’d taken full advantage of the open bar, and my face was now paying the price.
“Quinlan!” Michael called, pulling me from my tormenting memory. “We’re not done here.”
I bit my lip and tiptoed out of Kinsey’s room, closing the door quietly behind me. I then headed back to our bedroom where Michael was waiting.
God, I hated him.
* * *
One year ago…
I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer, hoping to God the escape plan I’d put into action a month ago worked. I had a go bag, I had money stashed. I was ready. And I was ready without help from my brother, or Knox. I didn’t want any of this to touch them.
I’d always felt as though I could weather this storm alone. I had managed to figure out strategies to keep Michael from my bed, the big one being if I didn’t seem scared, he couldn’t perform, which meant he left me alone most nights. I’d rather be beaten than have his dick anywhere near me.
I shuddered. God, twice was enough. Once on our wedding night and once two days later. Lucy for me, Michael had proved to be impotent after that.
But tonight, he’d hit Kinsey, and all bets were off. No one touched my daughter and I told him as much. But I knew it would happen again, even though he’d apologized profusely and swore it wouldn’t.
I just had to get through the next two days. Then Michael would be gone overnight, and Kinsey and I could disappear.
Despite the pain in my body, I felt a lightness I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Sneaking out of her room, I headed downstairs and grabbed an icepack and a glass of wine. Flipping on the television, I settled in for a quiet night, since I had at least two hours before Michael returned from whichever whore he visited to ease the ache of his erectile dysfunction.
I giggled quietly, then forced myself to stop. This was why I got hit. At least, why he hit me in the face this time. Technically, he didn’t need a reason to hit me, but me laughing at the fact he couldn’t get it up forced him over the edge and I’d paid the price.
Sipping my wine, I channel surfed until I could barely keep my eyes open. Rather than hauling my butt up to bed, I settled myself on the sofa… awakening with a gasp when a smooth hand pressed against my cheek.
“Waiting up for me, sweetheart?” Michael crooned.
I stood without response, not wanting to be in a vulnerable position. He was a mess. His suit askew, his hair unkempt, dirt on his hands. Completely unlike him. I didn’t ask him why. Honestly, I didn’t want to know.
“I’m sure you’re wondering where I’ve been,” he said, pulling a folded manila envelope from his inside jacket pocket. “I have a little gift for you.”
God, I hated manila offerings from him.
He’d delivered several over the years, making sure he emphasized how easily he could get to Knox and my brother. Every single one gutted me, and I felt my heart race as I stared at the yellow package of doom.
Michael owned a lucrative investment company, but what a lot of people didn’t know, was that he ‘cleaned’ money for some very nasty people. He’d shared all of this with me early on in our marriage as a way to loop me into his illegal dealings and make me culpable. Yet another way to keep me under his thumb.
I clasped my hands in front of me and shook my head. “I’m good, thank you.”
“I’m going to clean up.” He dropped it on the sofa. “Take some time to read that, then I’ll meet you in bed.”
I stood frozen to the spot as he left the room, staring down at the envelope, knowing that whatever was in it was going to hurt. Taking a minute to bolster my courage, I dragged in a few deep breaths, then opened the envelope. I was wrong. This didn’t hurt me. This destroyed me.
Dropping the photographs of a broken and beaten Knox on the floor, I fell to my knees and covered my face, unable to stop the sobs from wracking my body. I didn’t know if he was dead… and I didn’t want to know. I had only a few minutes to grieve, as I was suddenly dragged up by my hair and my head tipped back to meet the eyes of Satan.
“Whatever you have planned, sweetheart, cancel it. As you can see, I can get to your loved ones anytime, anyplace. Never fear, darling. He’s not dead. I made sure Harlan didn’t quite go that far. But if you leave, I will kill him… along with your beloved brother, so reconsider.” He released me by shoving me onto the sofa. “I’ll give you a moment to compose yourself and then you can come upstairs and undress for me. Slowly.”
He walked away again, and I died a little more inside.
Michael left me again two hours later. I’d escaped both sex and a beating, but it didn’t help my breaking heart. I watched from the window of our bedroom as he drove away, then snagged the burner I’d hidden from him years ago. It was in my tampon box, which was the only place I knew he’d never investigate.
I went back to my window and powered up the phone, calling my friend, Andi Rivers, who was an emergency nurse at the hospital. Andi was someone Michael knew nothing about. She and I had met in anatomy class before I dropped out of college and she understood the need for discretion. I’m not sure how she understood, but she did.
I had to call the main line because I knew she didn’t carry her cell on the floor.
“This is Andi,” she answered.
“Hi,” I said, tears streaming down my face. “It’s Quin. Is Knox there?”
“Yeah, honey, he’s here.”
“Is he dead?”
“No, but that’s all I can tell you. Are you okay?”
“Yes. I really need to talk to him.”
“He’s sedated.”
“I don’t care. Can you please go to his room? Put your phone to his ear?”
She sighed. “Give me five minutes, then call my cell.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
We hung up and I waited four minutes and fifty-nine seconds, then called her cell. I continued to watch for Michael’s car as the phone rang.
“Hey,” she answered in a whisper. “I’m going to put my phone up to his ear.”
“Thank you.”
I heard a rustle, then Andi’s quiet, “Go ahead” and closed my eyes.
“Knox,” I breathed out. “I need you to be okay. God, I’m so sorry he did this. I love you. Please know that everything I’ve done is because I love you. You probably can’t hear me right now,” I whispered in frustration, then squared my shoulders. “But if your subconscious is taking any of this in, then just know that I need you to be okay. I love you more than the world, honey. More than the universe.”
I couldn’t continue, the tears choking me, so I hung up, shutting my phone off and hiding it again before falling into the chair by the window and sobbing.
I didn’t know how much more I could take.
Quinlan
Nine months ago…
I GROANED, TRYING not to make any sudden movements. I had pushed myself off my bed a little faster than I should have, and the pain from the injuries of the most recent beating Michael had given me, took over all coherent thought.
My brother had just shown up unannounced and informed me that Kinsey and I were going with him.
Apparently, someone had squealed that Michael was hurting me, and Valen had flown into a rage, hauling his ass over here.
He and I were in a heated argument about that very fact when I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a frustrated squeak, which jarred every bone in my body. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Valen had been my legal guardian until I turned eighteen, so he acted more like a father than a brother. A knock at the door sounded, dragging me and Valen from our argument, and Knox pushed his way in.
No. He couldn’t be here. I had to shut this down.
“Get out!” I snapped.
“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” he growled. “When did the asshole do that to you?”
“Knox—”
“No, Quin, this stops now,” Valen said.
“It’s not that simple.”
“I can’t believe I let you shut me out. This stops now,” Valen reiterated. My brother did that a lot… repeat his avowals. Sometimes I could almost imagine him beating his chest before he did it, and it often struck me as funny. Except today. Today, I was too tired to challenge him.
Valen shook his head. “Pack, Quin. Not up for discussion. Badger, come with me.”
Knox crossed his arms. “Give me a minute, Alamo.”
“Badge—”
“Alamo,” he said slowly. “Quin and I need a minute. Alone.”
Valen left us and I shook my head. “Knox,” I rasped. “You can’t be here.”
He stared down at me. “Bullshit.”
“He’ll kill you.”
“He hasn’t yet.”
“Don’t be so flippant.” I blinked back tears. “You almost died.”
And he had. It had been touch and go for several days after my phone call with him.
“I heard you,” he whispered.
I glanced at him. “Heard me?”
“Your voice. You were telling me you loved me.”
I stifled a sob. “Stop.”
His hands cupped my face gently. “Did it mean nothing to you?”
Memories of our only night together flooded my heart. He had no idea just how much it had meant. I’d held onto the memory of his touch, and called on it when I needed to hide from my pain.
“Stop,” I repeated.
“Eyes, baby.”
I shook my head.
“What happened?” he asked.
“I can’t tell you.”
“Yeah, you can.”
I searched his expression and took a deep breath. “I got drunk.”
“Okay.”
“I got drunk at a frat party. It was stupid, especially because I’d gone with a friend and she holed up in one of the rooms with a guy, so I was essentially alone in a house full of people I didn’t know. Well, until Michael got there.” I shuddered. “He was a friendly face.” I bit back a sob. “God, I was so stupid.”
Knox’s thumbs wiped my tears from my cheeks, whisper soft, and his mouth touched mine for a brief second. “I’m here, Quin. I got you.”
“I did something. Something terrible.”
“Tell me.”
“He got me a drink and we sat in the living room and talked. It was nice. He was nice. Totally different than how he was in high school, you know?” I shook my head. “I should have known. I should have kept my guard up. But I didn’t. And I kept drinking.” Dropping my head again, I took another deep breath. “A lot of the rest is fuzzy, but I know we had sex. I actually know more than I should because he filmed it. All of it.”
“Shit.”
I nodded. “He told me if I didn’t marry him, he’d show you and Valen, then the world.” I burst into tears again. “The thought of you seeing me like that. Betraying you like that,” I sobbed out. “I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry, Knox. So, so sorry.”
“Baby,” he breathed out, pulling me closer.
“I’ll understand if you can never forgive me, Knox. It was unforgivable.”
“There’s nothing to forgive.” He lifted my chin, cupping my face and wiping my tears again. “I love you, Quinlan. I told you that four years ago, shit, I told you that in high school, and it’s still a fact—”
“We can’t—”
“I swear to Christ, woman, you say we can’t ‘do this’ one more time, we’re gonna have a problem,” he growled.
But he growled in a sweet and gentle way, a way that didn’t scare me. A way that made me long for him even more.
I dropped my cheek to his chest again. “He. Will. Kill. You.”
“Welly.” He wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair. “No. He. Won’t.”
I let out a quiet snort. He’d called me “Welly” from the second he found out there were two meanings for my name. In Irish, it meant graceful… but in Gaelic, it meant shaped like a well. He could have been sweet and called me Gracie, but no… he called me Welly.
When I was fifteen, I hated it. But… when I got to know him better, and realized he only called me Welly when we were alone, I loved it. Cherished it. Held it close to my heart.
“If anything happens to you again…”
“Quit,” he demanded, lifting my face again. “We’re gonna get the fucker, then you, me, and Kins are gonna finally be a family. Hear?”
I studied him. “I can’t—”
“Goddammit, Quin, I’m—”
“You’re supposed to be packing,” Valen snapped, stalking into the room.
“I’m going.” I sighed and pushed away from Knox, heading for my closet.
“You seriously gonna stand and watch?” Alamo challenged.
“Yeah, man. You got a problem with that?”
I rolled my eyes as I grabbed a suitcase.
“She’s married,” my brother continued.
“No longer give a fuck,” he said.
“He’s gonna make this hard on her.”
I walked back into the room in time to see Knox scowl. “And I’m gonna deal with that, but it won’t touch her.”
“Okay, you two, quit talking about me like I’m not in the room.” I threw my suitcase on the bed. “If I’m going to get this done, it has to be soon. Michael’s due home in an hour.”
“What do you need me to grab for Kinsey?” Valen asked.
“I’ll do it,” I said, and waved them out of the room. “Just let me get dressed first.”
“She said something about Moana.”
I sighed. “Of course she did. I’ll grab it.”
Valen nodded and headed out of the room. Knox lingered, but I smiled, and he studied me for a second before turning around and walking out the door. I changed, then packed and set my bag out on the landing.
After packing a bag for Kinsey (and discovering my house filled with bikers), I followed my brother out to his truck, grabbing the car seat and stroller from my car, and driving in silence to his home. Technically, it was my old home, although, I hadn’t lived there for years.
I’d never been more scared (or felt safer) in my life.
* * *
The next morning, I woke up to find I’d slept for almost ten hours. It registered almost immediately that this fact wasn’t right. Flying out of bed, my heart racing, convinced something was wrong with Kinsey, I ran into her room to find it empty.
“Kinsey!” I screamed, rushing down the hall toward the living room. “Kinsey!”
“Babe, she’s here,” Knox said, carrying her toward me and I doubled over, my hands on my knees as I dragged in gulps of breaths.
“Mama?”
Kinsey’s little hands wrapped around my leg and I knelt down in front of her. “Hey, munchkin, how’s my girl?”
“Moana.”
“She’s watchin’ the movie,” Knox said.
“Oh, yeah?” I cupped her cheek. “Go on back to the living room, okay?”
She bobbed her head and toddled away and I wiped terrified tears from my face, sliding down the wall onto my butt. “Where’s Valen?”
“At work?”
“You didn’t go with him?”
; Knox worked with him at the shop. Valen had hired him as an apprentice years ago, and the club had put him through school.
“I’m not leaving you alone. He gets it.” Knox hunkered down beside me and lifted my chin. “You okay?”
“I… ah… thought something bad had happened. I think I forgot where I was for a minute.”
“You’re safe, Quin.”
“It’s gonna take me some time to believe that.” I swallowed.
“Well, maybe try not to rush out in a white wifebeater and barely there panties, huh? There’s only so much a man can take.”
“Shit.” I gasped covering myself with my arms. “I didn’t even realize.”
He slid a finger under the strap of the tank. “Is this mine?”
I could feel heat creep up my neck. “Why would you ask that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I was missin’ one after… you know… and this has the same grease stain on the chest I could never get out.”
He didn’t touch me there, but God, I wanted him to. “Do you want it back?” I whispered.
“No, baby, it looks better on you.”
“Not even close,” I mumbled.
He helped me up, then wrapped his arms around me. “You’re safe, baby. Kinsey’s safe.”
I nodded. “I can’t believe you got up with her.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s usually up before the sun. It’s why I never sleep,” I said. “Was she scared?”
He frowned. “Why would she be scared?”
“Because she was terrified of Michael. She would never let him touch her, let alone hold her the way you were earlier.”
“I don’t like that, Quin.”
“Neither do I. It’s why I never let him be alone with her.”
“You got a problem with me being alone with her?”
I shook my head. “Never. She obviously doesn’t either. I’m just surprised. You and Doom for whatever reason make her feel safe. She’s even a little unsure about Valen right now.”
“She was totally happy with him this morning.”
“She was?”
“Yeah. She made him carry her everywhere.”
I sighed. “I like that.”
“He did too.” Knox grinned. “I made pancakes if you’re hungry.”
Redeeming the Biker's Past (Dogs of Fire: Savannah Chapter Book 3) Page 2
