by Claire Kent
Erin had been more aroused than she’d realized, for longer than she’d realized. And the delicious friction against her inner walls pulled the scattered tension in her body toward her throbbing center—far more quickly than she’d expected.
Her hips began to move on their own, pushing up against the thrusting of his fingers. When his thumb closed over her clit and started to massage it, Erin tossed her head and made a helpless sound of pleasure, her orgasm spiraling up even more rapidly.
Her breasts felt tingling and heavy, and she whimpered softly, very close to coming. But she tried to keep her eyes open, so she could watch Seth’s tight face.
Something about the underlying need in his expression pushed Erin even closer to climax. “Seth,” she choked, her entire body shuddering uncontrollably.
Then Seth froze without warning, his fingers still sheathed inside the clasp of her body. His eyes focused on her breasts, then where his fingers penetrated her. The tension on his face cracked just a little, and he burst out in a harsh mutter, “Fuck.”
He pulled his hand out from between her thighs, causing Erin to nearly wail with disappointment at the interruption of her orgasm. But before she could either pull his hand back into place or else use her own, Seth had repositioned himself between her legs.
“Sorry,” he muttered thickly, holding himself up over her with one arm while he used the other to guide his cock into place. “I can’t...” His voice trailed off, and his entire body shook.
“It’s okay,” she assured him, her body begging for his, her hands clawing at his lower back, and her hips thrusting up toward him. “Just hurry.”
He slid his erection partway in, withdrew and reangled before sliding in even deeper. As he thrust into her, his face twisted dramatically—with pleasure, relief, and something else.
Erin bit her lower lip over her cry in response, vaguely conscious of her baby sleeping in the room beside them. But the tightness of his cock as it entered renewed all the disrupted tension of her growing climax.
She bent her knees slightly and flattened her feet on the mattress, bucking her hips uncontrollably as she tried to once more claim her orgasm. Her pelvis bumped up against Seth’s, over and over again, until he finally started to thrust.
He didn’t start off slow and controlled—as he’d always done before. His motion was fast and jerky above her, and he held himself up with straightened arms that were already starting to tremble.
Something about his obvious need made Erin’s heart swell as achingly as the pressure below her belly. She clung to him, low around his waist, and her fingers clawed at the skin of his lower back.
Erin’s skin was already damp with perspiration, and she had to keep biting her lip to suppress the sounds she made, transforming her cries into stifled whimpers and gasps.
She was so close it was agonizing, and she wanted to move a hand lower so she could rub her clit, but she couldn’t seem to let go of Seth.
He seemed to be everywhere. Everything. And she just had to hold on to him.
She knew he was still reining himself in to a certain extent, despite the clumsy rutting of his motion. He was breathing harshly through his nose, muscles spasming in his jaw, in his temple, in his biceps.
Seth usually made more noise than this during sex, and—despite her peaking pleasure—she couldn’t help but wonder what he was holding back. How much he was holding back.
His eyes...his eyes were like gaping wounds, and she felt utterly incapable of answering them.
When the rising sensations took over completely, she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to concentrate, tried to claim the orgasm she needed.
As his cock pumped hard and fast inside her, Erin had to bite on her lip more and more to keep her vocal responses muted. She was making the most ridiculous whines and mews, and her fingernails were now gouging into the flesh of his ass.
Until finally she felt herself cresting, all of the pleasure at last reaching its limit.
In that moment, she couldn’t keep her eyes closed. They flew open. Met Seth’s. Saw something there—a deep, erotic mingling of possession and need—that finally pushed her over the edge.
With one more broken grunt, her body arched up like a bow. Then she froze, silent and overwhelmed, as the spasms of her orgasm overtook her.
After the first thick rush of sensation, her body began rocking up again, instinctively riding out the remainder of her orgasm. She whimpered out a stream of incoherent, helpless noises and felt like her body had erupted.
Seth had frozen too, as her muscles clamped down around him. His face contorted in effort. His body was as damp as hers, his skin almost glowing in the shaded room.
When she started to relax, Seth looked back down at her, opening his eyes to reveal something wild and primal. “You came?” His eyes crawled from her flushed face to her exposed breasts.
Erin glanced down at her breasts, at her tightly peaked nipples. Saw they had leaked a little, but nothing like they had last time. “Yeah,” she gasped, her fingers softening on the skin of Seth's back and ass, stroking over the lines she had clawed there. “They weren’t full this time. But I came.” She gazed up at him until he met her eyes again.
Wondered who she was—who he thought she was—that this man would want her, would need her so much.
She felt full and tender and still kind of achy, and she wished desperately that she could give him what he needed.
She couldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear, could never lie about something like that, but she wanted to show him how deeply she did care about him. Making her eyes as soft as she could, she whispered, “I never need to fake it with you.”
The thread that was holding back his need broke in that instant, either from her words or from the nameless feeling she was trying to express in her eyes. Seth made a harsh sound in his throat and gave a couple of jerky, involuntary thrusts.
“Seth,” she breathed, raising her hands to pull gently on his hair. “It’s okay. Your turn now.”
She wanted to say more. Wanted to say she was there for him. That she wanted to offer him what he needed. But she didn’t want to sound melodramatic or silly, and she didn’t want words so naked to drive him back behind his defenses.
So she didn't say it.
Hoped he’d understand all of it anyway.
Giving three more hard thrusts, Seth released a long, lingering groan. Then he raised himself up onto his knees. Lifted her hips as he moved, keeping his cock sheathed inside her.
Erin pulled her legs up, adjusting her body with his. At the change of position, he sank into her more deeply, and she inhaled a frantic swallow of air in response.
Without a word, Seth started to thrust, not slowly or controlled, but rapidly, deeply, with more force than she expected.
Her legs were dangling strangely over his thighs, and her stomach strained from the new position. She felt more awkward than sexy, but he obviously wanted to take her like this, so she decided to go with it and not worry about coming again.
Instead, she watched Seth. Watched his twisted face, his flaring nostrils, his wild eyes as he fucked her. And, despite the slight discomfort of the position, she felt a swell of tenderness and satisfaction, that she was able to give him this—even if she couldn’t give him anything else.
She panted each time he pounded into her. Her legs and breasts bounced urgently, and the solid bed shook from the force of their motion.
With something hungry and dominant in his expression, Seth suddenly lifted her thighs even higher, so he could thrust into her even more deeply.
Erin cried out in surprise and fisted her hands in the sheet as she felt him drive his cock deeper than was entirely comfortable.
At her broken cry, Seth forced himself to pause, sweat dripping down the side of his face and his entire body shaking with tension. “Okay?” His eyes rake over her, half in primal hunger and half in anxious inquiry.
“Yeah,” she gasped, one of her legs now raised up in th
e air. She squirmed slightly, trying to assess the intense sensations. “I think...”
His features contorting and eyes closing as he reined in his need, Seth gave a few more experimental thrusts from this position, obviously allowing her to determine if she was all right with it.
She'd experienced deep penetration before, but for some reason this felt different. Seth's cock felt huge and invasive, like it was piercing her, far past any boundary she’d ever had. But the sensations were only slightly painful, and she could feel something else—something deeply pleasurable—mingling with the initial discomfort.
“Yeah,” she panted, clutching desperately at the bed beneath her. “Yeah, it’s good.”
With a thick, helpless groan, he opened his eyes and started moving again. The thick silence of his breathing built into rough, animalistic grunts in time with his rhythm.
Erin felt like the whole world was shaking with their motion. She felt helpless, out of control. Until the rough friction of his drives inside her and the jostling of her breasts, ass, and clit coalesced into a new kind of orgasm: one deeper, more intense, not far removed from pain.
Matching the rich, swelling ache in her heart.
Her rhythmic whimpers rose into louder, wordless cries. She clawed at the bed, tossed her head desperately until her motion pushed the pillow out from beneath her.
Seth’s eyes never left her, shifting greedily from her face to the clumsy bouncing of her breasts. Then he grabbed the leg that had been dangling next to his right hip and pushed it forward, until her knee met her breast.
Erin choked on the pleasure, as the shift changed the angle of penetration yet again. Her other leg was still in the air, but she didn’t want to move it. Everything felt so deep, so intense, so excruciatingly good just like this.
He held her left leg in place as he fucked her, his grunts growing louder and more uncontrolled as his thrusts became shorter and faster.
And Erin realized she was about to come again, was momentarily terrified that this orgasm would rip her apart.
“Oh, God,” she cried out—too loudly, but there was no way to stop herself. “God, Seth!”
Seth made a rough sound in his throat, almost like a growl. His eyes bore into hers, and he forced out a few strangled words, “Say it again.”
Erin’s hot, blurred mind was far beyond comprehending what he meant. She writhed beneath him, needing release from the agonizing build of her orgasm but unable to move in any significant way. “Wha—” she mumbled, then choked on another scream of pleasure as his motion pushed her closer to release. “Seth!”
“Yes,” Seth hissed, something new flaring up in his gaze.
Instinctively, Erin understood. Her hands fumbled for purchase on the mattress, and her leg bounced shamelessly in the air. “Seth. Seth!”
“Yes,” Seth hissed again, between his deepening grunts and urgent panting. The tension in his body had coiled up until it was almost unbearable to witness.
Erin felt a quaking begin, deep at her core. Felt the tremors slowly overtake her. The exquisite depth of it almost made her panic, and she had to stuff her fist in her mouth to stifle her screams. But after a moment she managed to lower her hand and choke out, “Seth, Seth!”
Seth’s fingers were so hard on her flesh that they would have been painful had she been able to concentrate on such things. He was fucking her like an animal now, in some kind of primitive drive to claim her. His motion was clumsy and desperate, but he never looked away from her face. “Erin,” he grunted, the word almost incoherent in the guttural texture of his voice.
“Seth!” Erin cried one more time, this time unable to suppress it. Her body erupted in rich waves of orgasm, and she shuddered as the sensations slammed into her.
Seth came with her, releasing all of the tension he’d been holding back for too long in a series of spasmodic pushes. A wash of relief flooded his face for a moment, and he managed to hold Erin’s gaze through the rush of sensation.
They were both gasping desperately when the lingering spasms finally faded, and it looked like Seth would have collapsed had they not still been tangled in their awkward position.
Very carefully, Seth straightened Erin’s leg, and she moaned pathetically as he slowly pulled his cock out of her sore body. He held the base of the condom carefully, his hands shaking despite his obvious attempt at control.
“Oh God,” Erin moaned, totally leveled by their lovemaking.
He moved to the side of the bed and sat there for a minute, clearly trying to recover himself. “Yeah,” was all he said.
Erin felt hot and sticky and sweaty and sore and still flooded with an intense satisfaction and contentment that left her limp and boneless. If anything, Seth seemed worse off than she was. He was trembling visibly, hadn’t managed to move yet, and was still holding the condom on his softening cock.
“You okay?” she croaked, stretching and feeling her muscles resisting painfully.
“Yeah,” he said again, although his voice was faint and unnatural. As if to prove his point, however, he heaved himself up and took a few steps toward the bathroom.
Erin winced as she saw the angry, red lines she'd clawed into his back and his ass.
But, since he’d managed to get moving so quickly, Erin smothered another groan and rolled off the bed herself, pulling her gown down over her body again.
On her first step, however, she let out a sharp cry and bent forward.
Seth jerked to a stop and looked back at her. “You all right?”
She nodded, feeling strangely embarrassed...by everything. “Just a little sore,” she explained. At his anxious, intent scrutiny, she added, “But it’s nothing compared to childbirth.”
He gave her a very faint smile and continued toward the bathroom.
Erin limped out of the bedroom and down the hall to the room next door. Peering in from the doorway, she could see Mackenzie in the crib, still sleeping soundly—which greatly relieved her mind.
After a minute of standing there watching her daughter sleep, Erin turned around and went back into the master bedroom.
Seth had returned and was sprawled out naked on the bed, looking limp and replete and oddly vulnerable. “She all right?” he asked softly, as Erin got into the bed beside him.
“Sleeping.” She pulled up the covers over both of them and—when he made no move to draw her close to him—she snuggled up beside him anyway, feeling exposed and uncertain herself.
Seth nodded. He didn’t put his arm around her. Didn’t look at her. Just stared up at the ceiling.
“Are you all right?” she asked softly, stroking his chest with her palm.
“Of course.”
Erin felt a different kind of ache, and she let out a long, defeated sigh. “You know,” she began, very slowly, very carefully, “I’ll admit to being confused a lot of the time—particularly with you. I don’t always know what’s going on, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes.”
She paused. Thought through her words before she spoke them. “But, after the first couple of months, I’ve always tried to be honest with you. I mess up a lot, but I try to be honest about it. Even if my feelings confuse the hell out of me, I have never intentionally lied to you about them.”
He was listening to her intently. She knew it, even though he wasn't looking at her. His sated body had gotten slightly tense as she spoke. Until finally he admitted, “I know that.”
Erin swallowed hard. Wondered if she had any right to say this. Said it anyway. “You don’t have to open up to me or tell me anything you don’t want to. But I wish...I wish you wouldn’t lie to me.”
He got very tense for a moment, and Erin was afraid she’d gone too far. Then his body relaxed against her, and he gave one brief, terse nod. “You’re right. I shouldn’t lie to you.”
She didn’t pursue the subject. Just caressed his chest and belly and wished there was something she could do for him that went deeper than just fucking. She was pretty sure she had helped him—if
only to release some of his emotional tension—but there was so much more she wanted to do.
She’d thought the subject was over, and she wasn’t even begrudging that fact. But then he surprised her.
Turning his head to look her in the eye, he murmured, his voice only slightly uncomfortable. “I don’t know how to do this.”
‘”Do what?”
“Any of this. I’ve spent all my life by myself. I’ve never been part of a family. When I had a chance fifteen years ago, I just ran away. I don’t know how to be part of one. I don’t know how to be a father. I don’t know how to be what I need to be with you. Sometimes, it overwhelms me. Sometimes, it terrifies me.”
“What are you terrified of?” she asked in almost a whisper.
“That I’ll blow it. That I’ll run away. That I’ll destroy everything. Everything I have for the first time.”
Her eyes burned in response to the thick words. “You won’t. You’re not going to blow it. You haven’t messed up anything.” When he looked like he was going to object, she amended, “Except for that one time, you haven’t messed anything up. You’re really good at being a father. You’re really good at this.”
“I’m so sorry about your job.”
She suddenly realized that her job was what had prompted his dark mood in the first place. He thought he’d blown it and she had suffered the consequences.
A tear streamed down her cheek. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t mess that up. It just…it just happened.”
He didn’t answer except to tilt his head down and kiss her hair.
She wasn’t sure what to say next, so she turned her head so she could press a kiss into his shoulder.
They were silent for a really long time, until Erin couldn’t take it anymore.
“So, Seth, are you all right?”
Inexplicably, the corner of his mouth turned up in faint amusement. “Yeah. Kind of tired. I feel like I’ve been through a battle.”
Erin chuckled, relieved both at his shift in mood and at the break in tension between them. She kissed his shoulder again. “Poor baby,” she murmured, patting his flat belly.
