“It happened early in the morning, so I don’t think it was in the papers. You don’t know about it, doctor?”
“What is it? An accident?”
“No, it’s…” The receptionist turned on the TV in the lobby.
“This is the National Police Agency Press Club reporting,” said the tense voice of a newscaster.
“There’s been a murder at your university, doctor,” said the receptionist. “A patient charged to the special room was shot with a pistol! Apparently he was a yakuza boss.”
“What?” Kisaragi felt a chill down his spine as he remained glued to the TV to listen to the news.
“Access to the special room is difficult and restricted. For this reason, the National Police Agency suspects that there may have been collaboration with an insider. Currently they are in the process of conducting thorough interviews with the individuals involved.”
Kisaragi put a hand to his chest, where his inner chest pocket was located. He remembered the key case that Kanesaki had tossed to him. He dashed to the director’s office and pulled out the white lab coat from his locker. His nameplate was gone. Kisaragi felt his entire body go cold as he realized his dreaded prediction had been right.
Just then, the phone on his desk rang.
“Doctor, a call for you on line one.”
A low voice was on the other end.
“Doctor, I didn’t mean to lie to you. Your nameplate and magnetic card are going to arrive by courier soon. The guy who did it is a hitman with a good reputation, so he hasn’t left evidence behind. Keep your mouth shut, and no one will know. You also have an alibi. We’ve made sure that there are no records of entry or exit. Tomorrow, one of the lower-ranking guys is set to turn himself in.”
“How could you?” The glaring fact was still there - he had assisted in a horrendous murder. Kisaragi’s legs shook and fury brewed within him.
“Why?” he asked. It was the only thing he could say.
“Money. Besides, the guy who got killed and the guy who killed him are both worthless, anyway. Nothing to worry about.”
“And so are you.”
He could sense the other man’s breath catch on the other end. After a short silence, soft laughter reached his ear.
“Sounds just like something you would say. See ya, doctor. We’ll never meet again.” The man gave a one-sided farewell and hung up.
Kisaragi put the phone back in its cradle and looked up at the ceiling. He was not going to back down yet. He pushed the intercom resolutely.
“It’s me. Kisaragi.”
Arima gave him directions to a Japanese-style restaurant in Akasaka. When Kisaragi arrived, Arima was wearing a loose-fitting kimono and sleeveless haori vest, having drinks with the proprietress. When he saw Kisaragi come in, he had her leave so that the two of them to be left alone.
“What is it, doctor?”
“Were you behind all of this?” Kisaragi asked as he remained standing, glaring at the man. He figured it must have been from day one, when Arima suddenly wanted to be admitted to the hospital.
“No. Well, have a seat first, will you?” Arima poured himself a glass of sake and took a draught. “Like I said, Kanesaki doesn’t live in the same world as you do.”
“Please answer my question.”
Arima shrugged. “The guy who got murdered was the head of the Ichi-kai. I was asked by a certain politician. The guy who got erased was going to co-operate with the district public prosecutor’s office. But the fact that he was staying in the special room was also leaked from the prosecutor’s office. That’s what this country’s like.”
“That’s not what I’m asking.”
Arima took a sip from his glass again. “It’s true that I was asked about it. I know a lot about the floor where the special room is located, after all.”
“So you had Kanesaki investigate inside?”
Arima shook his head. “That was a coincidence. Just like how introducing Kanesaki to you was a coincidence. And I couldn’t have imagined that you and Kanesaki would end up like this, either. But,” he continued, “Kanesaki is the one who volunteered. He said he could get his hands on a magnetic entrance card.”
Kisaragi bit his lip. Had Kanesaki been so gentle in Karuizawa because his conscience was eating at him? Kisaragi kept his eyes on the ground. Arima cleared his throat awkwardly and opened his mouth.
“Just so you know… that summer house belongs to me, doctor.”
Kisaragi snapped his head up and flushed.
“I know this won’t mean anything to you now, but Kanesaki didn’t want to hurt you. He could have hired a bunch of roughnecks and taken the card from you by force.”
But instead, he had distanced Kisaragi from the clinic and had someone break in in his absence.
“Cut him some slack. Think of how he must’ve felt.” Arima reached out and clapped Kisaragi on the knee.
“－Why did Kanesaki volunteer himself?”
“Kanesaki needed a large sum of money. There was a guy who would pay up, and a guy who would carry it out. He just fixed it for them.”
“Why did he need so much money?”
Arima blinked his beady eyes. “Because he wants to go to the North.”
Kisaragi’s breath caught in his throat. He said he’d abandoned his country. But he also remembered the man crying silently. And the words he had said as he caressed Kisaragi after he had met with Hasunuma. There are some things you can’t have, but you still can’t help wanting it.
What had happened?
Kisaragi gathered himself and straightened up.
“Mr. Arima, I have a favor to ask.”
“And what would that be?”
“Please get me in touch with Kanesaki.”
Arima placed his glass back down on the table. “I always wished I could see you want something.” He stared steadily at Kisaragi. “But I didn’t expect it to be Kanesaki.”
He then clapped his hands loudly.
“You saved my life. There’s no way I won’t turn down your favor.”
When his secretary came in, Arima gave an order.
“Take the doctor to Kanesaki,” he said. He then returned his gaze to Kisaragi. “You sit tight at home. Kanesaki is hiding out. It’ll take some time.”
Chapter 13
It was snowing in Niigata.
Kisaragi remained blindfolded as he switched cars three times along the way from Tokyo. He was ultimately taken to a warehouse on the Port of Niigata.
He was taken to a basement room. Under the dim lights, he could see blankets laid between cardboard, and Kanesaki listening to the radio.
“Why did you come?” said the man, standing up when he saw Kisaragi. Kisaragi embraced the man without saying anything. Bewilderment crossed Kanesaki’s face, as well as that of the man who had brought him here.
“I didn’t know you could be so passionate, doctor.”
Despite his words, Kanesaki was equally quick to act, not even waiting for the guide to leave the room before pushing Kisaragi down on the floor. His hands frantically sought physical contact, his breathing already heavy. Kisaragi’s back ached being pressed down on the thin blanket barely cushioning the hard concrete underneath. But he didn’t care as he moved vigorously on his own.
They caught each other’s breaths and devoured each other’s flesh. Before Kisaragi knew it, he was moaning.
Kanesaki did not speak a word as he continued to push Kisaragi toward the edge. Even after the man had released himself, Kanesaki changed positions and started again.
Eventually, he climbed off of Kisaragi’s limp body and snatched a bottled drink that was close by.
“Drink it,” he said.
When the moisture had finally returned to Kisaragi’s parched throat, he spoke.
“Why?”
“Well… it would be a long story.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Kisaragi took another gulp before looking up at Kanesaki, who had been providing his arm as a pillow. “Why didn’t you say anything when we were… you know… doing it? You always talk through the whole thing.”
Kanesaki threw his head back as he laughed.
“Oh, that’s what you meant. To tell you the truth, I always used to talk to hold myself off longer before I[m1] came. I wanted to see you enjoying it for as long as I could.”
He caught Kisaragi’s chin with his stout fingers. “I just couldn’t hold myself back today to do that.” Their lips touched as they devoured each other’s tongues. Kanesaki overlapped his body over Kisaragi’s again.
“Do you have to go?” Kisaragi said breathlessly as he was penetrated again. “Why…?”
Kanesaki gently stroked Kisaragi’s belly with the palm of his hand.
“Aren’t you angry that I used you?”
Kisaragi shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.” The only interest he had was for the man in front of him. Once they had spent all of their bodily fluids, the man took Kisaragi into his arms.
“I thought I’d abandoned that country. But half of my heart still seems to be over there.” He wanted to know the whereabouts of his father and brother. That was why he had come to Japan to make money: money gave him limitless power. He could buy information with money.
At the very least, he wanted to know if they were alive or dead. He used Arima’s connections with Russia to stretch feelers into the North.
He was told that his father and brother were alive, and he continued to send money. He even lent a hand to illegal money transfers. He had been told that his family would be able to survive as long as he continued to send money.
But it had been a lie.
“I sneaked into the North from Russia on my last trip. That’s when I learned the truth.”
His father had died shortly after being abducted. His older brother had been manipulated by false information and been put into a concentration camp.
“I was essentially helping support their system.”
“And why did you go up North…?”
Kanesaki stroked Kisaragi’s head. “I at least wanted to see where they’d died. There was an underground organization. I decided to help. That way, my home country could be unified as one.”
Kisaragi felt himself choke up and buried his face in the man’s chest. “Is there anything I can do?”
Kanesaki hooked a finger underneath Kisaragi’s chin and made him look up. “I’ll be leaving half of my heart here. So keep it for me.”
“Until you come back?”
“Until I come back.”
“You’re lying.”
Kanesaki wiped the edge of Kisaragi’s eye. “If that’s what you think.”
They did not exchange any other words. The two sought each other until the very last moment. Kisaragi came close to losing consciousness from the intoxication and pain. He felt like they were two animals eating each other alive.
Three days later, the ship arrived to take the man away. The man left the shores, bound for the land on the other side of the sea.
Chapter 14
After parting with the man in Niigata, Kisaragi returned to work.
After a while, he realized that he could not sleep, but it was convenient for getting his accumulated work out of the way. He could no longer eat, but it was no inconvenience to him. He no longer had the desire to eat because could not taste anything, anyway.
As the end of the year grew near, both the outpatient ward and inpatient wings overflowed with patients. Kisaragi offered to cover shifts for colleagues who had developed high fevers from the flu. He began working even more than before.
A week into the New Year, when New Year pine decorations were put away and the bustle of the year-end and beginning had died down, Kisaragi collapsed in the middle of his shift.
One day, when Kisaragi was receiving an infusion, Associate Professor Matsuyama, who was the attending physician of Kisaragi, knocked and came in.
“Kisaragi, I’ve consulted the psychiatric department,” he informed him.
“What are you talking about?” Kisaragi sat up in bed. The associate professor hastily left the room. In his stead came Nakazaki, a lecturer of the psychiatric department who was in the same cohort as Hasunuma and also was on friendly terms with him.
“Kisaragi, the professor asked me himself.” There was nothing Kisaragi could say if that was the case. He reluctantly submitted himself to Nakazaki’s questions. Nakazaki had even scrutinized Kisaragi’s nurse’s records.
“Your nurse’s records say you’re reading books at three in the morning.”
“So? I always do. Even at home.”
“It’s called early morning awakening. At least in our field.” Early morning awakening was characteristic of depression, and Kisaragi was also aware of this fact.
“Please don’t tell me you’re implying I have depression.”
“That’s exactly it.”
“How? I’m working diligently, and I have motivation. It’s true that I can’t sleep, but it’s not a problem, is it? I don’t get sleepy during the day, either.”
Nakazaki frowned. “That’s called being manic defensive,” he said. “Your manic state is aggravated because you don’t want to admit that you’re in a depressive one.”
“I don’t believe it,” said Kisaragi.
“That’s exactly a sign of illness,” the man shot back. “You aren’t acknowledging it. Typical.” Nakazaki drew away from his bedside and lapsed into thought. “The professor has been telling me the same thing. Let’s file for worker’s compensation. You need to take a break.”
“A break?”
Nakazaki turned back to face him and smiled. “Knowing your personality, you’d probably still read or do research at home. Let’s see… you need to go away somewhere to rest.”
He then stared into Kisaragi’s eyes.
“To tell you the truth, I called him right away when I heard you’d been admitted to the hospital. He was really worried.” Even Kisaragi could tell that the man was talking about Hasunuma.
“Get admitted to his place. It’s a perfect opportunity.”
Kisaragi bit his lip and shook his head. “No. I don’t want to be a burden to him.”
“What are you talking about? You’re best friends.”
If he refused too vehemently, it might be seen as suspicious. Kisaragi finally reluctantly nodded in assent.
“Don’t tell me you’re just starting to pack?” he heard a familiar voice say. Kisaragi paused from packing his bags to be discharged and turned around to see Hasunuma.
“I came to pick you up because I couldn’t wait,” Hasunuma said cheerfully as he approached the bed and began to fold the clothes that were laid out upon it. “Or, more like, to make sure you wouldn’t run away.”
Hasunuma closed the suitcase, picked it up, and started walking away with it. He stopped at the doorway and turned around.
“Hurry up.” He had said the phrase many times to Kisaragi like this during university, when Kisaragi had dawdled in getting ready. This time, he was looking straight at him, face to face. There was no hesitation in his gaze, an
d Kisaragi found himself unable to break their eye contact.
“But…” he said under his breath.
“It’s alright. Just leave it to me.”
The hospital was located in a comfortable region of Sotobo, where the climate was mild. Kisaragi felt both physically and emotionally at ease when Hasunuma was by his side. His mental and physical strength, which had been sapped until now, gradually recovered.
The Sundered Page 6
