by C. A. Harms
With a deep breath in, I released it slowly then hit the button before I could change my mind. On the third ring, I was about to end the call when the line was picked up, yet no words were spoken.
“Hello?”
Again, I was met with dead air.
“Mike?” I said his name and held the phone to my ear just a little tighter, waiting for him to say something, anything at all really. “I know we need to talk.”
“We needed to talk eight hours ago, but that’s passed.” I could hear the slur in his voice, and I sat up straighter in bed, worry coursing through me. Mike wasn’t ever a big drinker; he’d have a beer or two but usually cut himself off before feeling any real effects from the alcohol. This, his current state, was most definitely related to more than a couple of beers.
“Where are you?” I was already up from my bed and grabbing for my jeans.
“In bed.”
“Your bed?” I paused with one foot in one leg of my pants and waited for his response. “Mike,” I tried to even my breathing as I asked once more, “are you in your bed?”
“Would it bother you if I was in someone else’s bed?”
I worried my lip as I thought over his question, knowing that whatever answer I chose to give him would be either opening or closing the door on whatever could happen next.
“Yes.” I answered him with complete honesty.
“I’m not in my own bed.” If a heart could truly break, mine would have disintegrated at that very moment.
“Oh.” I forced the word out as I sat back down on the end of my bed. I wanted to hate him, but I knew I had no right. He wasn’t mine.
“I’m at a hotel, Mad.” I knew he couldn’t be cruel enough to give me details of some random hook up, could he? “I stopped after driving for a couple hours and found the nearest bar. I had more to drink than I should have and took a cab to the closest motel.”
I took in a deep breath.
“Alone,” he added, and I let my body relax as the tension I’d felt only seconds ago left me. “I’m sorry for being such an asshole earlier today.” I nodded, though he couldn’t see me. “The way I treated you in that bathroom was out of line.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered before silence filled the line once more. I could hear him breathing, the sound getting slower and slower. “Do you want me to come get you?”
“No.” I shouldn’t have been surprised by his dismissal. After all, I’d practically begged him to leave me alone. “I need to sleep this off.” Again, I nodded, unsure as to why, because it wasn’t like he could actually see me. “Besides, I don’t want you driving this late at night by yourself.”
“Always the protector, even when I don’t deserve it.” I said this low, not really intending him to hear me but much more for myself. A confession of my own.
“Even if I’m upset with you, I’ll always put your safety first. I love you.” I knew this. Hell, he’d said it a million times before. Only this time, it somehow felt different to hear those three words. “You deserve a guy who will do whatever it takes to protect you and make you smile.”
I wanted that guy to be you.
That’s what I wanted to say, but I also wanted him to be sober when I said them.
“I could pick you up in the morning, give you a ride to your truck.”
“Already called Rhett.” Disappointment filled me. “My head is already pounding, Mad. I think I need to just close my eyes and sleep.”
“Okay.” My voice cracked, and I bit at the inside of my cheek.
“Don’t worry about me,” he slurred. “I’m good.”
I was glad one of us was, because I was falling apart at the seams, or so it felt.
“Good night, Maddison.” I could almost imagine him laying on his back on the hotel bed, his eyes beginning to close with the phone held loosely at his ear.
“Good night, Mikey.” How had things gotten so messed up? “If you change your mind, call me.” When he didn’t respond, I knew he’d fallen asleep.
I ended the call and lowered my phone as I stared down at the goofy picture I had programmed as his profile picture. He had his ball cap on backwards, his tongue sticking out to the side in a silly grin while holding both hands up, giving me a double thumbs up. Seeing him like that, fun loving and carefree, made my heart ache so terribly. I wanted that version of him back, the one before all this stuff started happening between us. I missed that guy, so much.
Chapter Twenty-One
Mike
“You didn’t have to drag AJ and Blake out of the house this early in the morning.” I stood beside AJ’s car and looked in through the back window at a sleeping baby. “She’s probably pissed off.”
“She’s not pissed.” There was something in his voice that made me think otherwise. “We’re just all wondering when the two of you are gonna get your shit straight.”
“It’s straight,” I said with conviction, though I knew that it was a lie. “I needed to cut loose, I did, and now I get back to my life.”
“And where does Maddison fit in that so-called life?”
“Exactly where she has always been. She’s family.” I shrugged, and when he looked at me with a penetrating stare, I looked away and focused on Blake still sleeping in his car seat.
Rhett didn’t say anything, and the silence got the best of me. Lifting my head, I looked back in his direction to see him shake his head, clearly aggravated. “What?”
“Okay, fine, AJ is pissed.” I knew it. “Frankly, so am I. You and Maddison have had this attraction going on between you for weeks now, a game of back and forth, and in the process, you two managed to pull Raven in the mix.”
“I’m pretty sure Raven put herself in the middle of it.”
“Well, she had no fucking idea that the two of you had this shit going on because neither of you told her. You were too busy lying to yourselves, ignoring what I tried telling you was there over and over.”
“I owe Raven an apology.” I knew I should have told her from the beginning I wasn’t interested even before the shit started to unfold with Mad. I knew going in that it wouldn’t amount to anything. In my mind, though, I let myself believe that Raven could be a distraction, which was wrong.
“AJ is more pissed about your running off and getting drunk instead of being the Mike we all know and love.” Excuse me? “Apparently, Maddison had already confessed to Raven that she’d felt something for you. And then after you ran off and left us all wondering what the fuck had taken place, Mad confessed it to half the women in our family, too.”
“She what?” Now he had my full attention.
“Gran led her inside when she found her sitting at the picnic table crying after you drove off.” The idea of Maddison crying because of me pissed me off. “One by one, our moms followed behind. I guess AJ just caught the end of all that took place, but from what she said, Mad told them everything, from the beginning up until you drove off.”
I wasn’t sure what to say.
“When I say everything, I do mean everything. Including the hot little scene that took place in the bathroom.” My heart sank. “So again, I’m gonna ask you, where does Maddison fit into this so-called life you’re ready to get back to?”
My mind was racing while still trying to absorb all the information Rhett had just given me. Maddison told them…about us…on her own.
“I need to get home.”
“AJ’s gonna drop us both off at your truck.”
“I can drive.” I reached out for the handle on the car.
“You smell like beer. I think you wore more than you drank. That’s already gonna piss off AJ, considering you’re sitting next to our son. No way I’m letting your ass drive back to Brooklet and take the chance of getting pulled over in the process.”
I wanted to challenge him, but standing here arguing with him meant wasting time, and I didn’t have any to waste. “Then your ass better drive faster than you do on a normal day, because my patience is real thin right about now.�
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Rhett seemed pleased with my change in attitude while he walked around the front end of the car toward the driver’s side, chuckling the entire way.
***
Mike: Where are you?
I’d called Maddison three times and gotten no answer. After sending her a text, I held my phone in my hand, staring at it, willing her to respond.
I had ended up in McRae, Georgia, which was just shy of two hours outside of Brooklet. When I’d left Gran’s, I had no idea where I was going; I just needed to get away.
“Why don’t you just call Colt?”
I chuckled, though my stomach was uneasy at the suggestion. “Because that man is probably sitting on his front porch, holding a shotgun, just waiting for my truck to pull up. You know I ain’t lying, either.” Rhett only nodded in agreement. “You know how he is with Mad, and now that this shit is all out in the open, I know he’s gunning for me.”
Did I think Colt would actually shoot me? Hell, no, the man wasn’t insane, but he’d sure as shit do his best to put me in my place when it came to Maddison and my intentions. But those intentions were as pure as they could get. I loved the girl, and not just because we’d been around one another practically our whole lives. When I said I loved her, I meant I loved her.
“Then call your mom and have her call him.”
“I’m a grown-ass man, not some teenaged scared-as-shit fool.”
“Coulda fooled me.” Rhett laughed the words, and it took a hell of a lot not to knock him upside his head for being a smartass. But he was driving my truck and causing a wreck wouldn’t get us there any faster. So instead, to prove him wrong, I dialed Colt’s number.
I did, however, do this with a racing heart and sweaty-as-fuck palms.
I ignored the way Rhett glanced over at me from the side. Then, when he turned down the radio so he didn’t miss a thing, I flipped him off.
With each ring, I could feel the tension in me growing, and when I heard Colt’s voice, I felt like I was ten again and being scolded for breaking a window out in the old shed behind the house.
“I’ve been waiting for this call.” I couldn’t quite weigh out if his tone was angry or not.
“I figured as much.” I knew it was coming, whether I went looking for it or he came to me. This was something that could not be avoided. The man was not one to sit back and let things slide.
“You on your way here?”
“I’m actually on my way back from McRae.” He was quiet, but only for about thirty seconds, before he spoke again.
“Oh, yeah,” it was most definitely not humor lacing his words, “the disappearing act that led you to a bar in the middle of some random town.”
It was my turn to be silent.
“I heard all about it.” That didn’t surprise me one bit, not with the women in our family.
“I’m sure you did.”
“I heard about a few other things, too.” I did my best to take in a deep breath and hide the fact. I didn’t need him or Rhett knowing how nervous I was with the tone in Colt’s voice.
I wasn’t a small man by any means, and I could stand on my own without a doubt. I was trained too, but I wasn’t too proud to admit that Colt intimidated me a little. Not just by his size, the man was stacked like a brick shithouse, but by his fierce outlook on everything he was ever faced with. He feared nothing; I swore it.
“There was some talk about a certain visit to a bathroom.” Fuck. “Followed by things that you and I need to discuss.”
I wanted to tell him that those things were between Mad and me, but I knew better. Nothing in this family was private. I also respected Colt enough to understand where he was coming from. Maddison, though she may not be blood, was in fact his daughter. Hurting her in anyway, intentional or not, meant I had some explaining to do to him as well. Followed, I was sure, by a lecture, a few threats, and then a settled calm.
For her, I would face it all and more. She was worth it.
“I’ll be over within the hour.”
“And I’ll be right here waiting on the front porch.” I smiled because I had been right, as suspected. In no way was that smile due to me looking forward to what was in store.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Maddison
I stretched my arms above my head and arched my back. Looking to my left, I was surprised to see the clock reading just after ten a.m.
It had been a long time since I had slept in like that.
Climbing out of bed, I stepped into the hallway and found the house quiet. No television playing video games or even the news. There were no sounds of my mother moving around in the kitchen; there was only silence.
After stopping off in the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, I walked closer to the living room, pausing when I heard my father near the front door. He was talking to someone. I assumed it was my brother until I got closer.
“I love ya, son, I do, but you have to know that when it comes to that girl, nothing’s gonna keep me from standing by her side.” I inched a little closer, leaning in to hear things more clearly.
“I wouldn’t expect it any other way.”
My heart rate shot up to the point that it felt like it might beat right out of my chest. It was Mike.
“But you should also know that I would never intentionally hurt Maddison. I never expected to feel the way I feel about her. We’ve never even considered being more than family. Granted, I’ve always had this connection to her, I think because she knows a little more of where I’m coming from in regard to my biological parents than the others. She, Rhett, and I have always since the beginning had that bond, but it has grown into something deeper.”
My father remained silent, and I could envision him staring at Mike with the intimidating stare of his that made him scrabble in search of whatever it would take to just make it go away.
“When I look at her, I don’t just see that little girl with the big smile anymore. I see a beautiful, captivating woman that takes my breath away. That feeling right there, it’s a feeling I want to experience every day.”
I could no longer see clearly as I fought to blink away the tears that were pooling in my eyes. They were words I needed to hear after yesterday and last night. I fell asleep with an empty feeling inside of me. I thought what we could have had was tainted by the torment we’d inflicted on one another over the last few weeks. I thought me pushing him away was the end before we even got the chance to start.
“One day you’ll understand how hard it is to watch one of your kids, especially your daughter, hurt in even the smallest of ways. As a father, the need to fix things is your first instinct.” I smiled as I listened to Colt, my dad for all the reasons that counted. The overwhelming urge to hug him for being my protector hit me hard, but I remained where I was.
“I want to fix things with her, sir.” The respectful way Mike spoke to Colt reminded me of the man he’d become. “I need to fix things. Being on the outs with Maddison is nowhere I wanna be. She’s a big part of my life. Having things turned upside down between us has left me feeling lost, if I’m being truthful.”
Me, too.
“I think the fear of what everyone would think about the two of us had us doing and saying a lot of things we both regret. I know I do.”
“You probably don’t remember this, but when the two of you were younger, Maria and I used to talk about what it would be like when you were older. Your momma insisted that it was a budding romance even at the age of twelve and seven.” I remember her yesterday at Gran’s telling me basically the same thing my father was now sharing with Mike.
“She’s in bed.” I shifted away from the door when I heard the creaking sounds of the front porch, the boards moving under the weight of my father’s movements. “She hasn’t been out of her old room since last night.”
I started to back away from the door.
“I’m gonna head over to the farm to help out with the stalls.” Oh my God. “I think Maddison needs to hear all the thi
ngs you’ve told me.” I felt guilty for eavesdropping.
I heard the rattle of the doorknob, and I continued to move backwards until I bumped into the couch behind me. Then the door began to open, and I spun around, sprinting toward the hallway that led to my room. I felt like I did when Colton and I used to sneak into the living room in the late hours of Christmas Eve to sneak through the presents that were left under the tree. The two of us would hear my parents moving around and take off toward our rooms. The difference was then we would squeal in the process; this time, I held my breath.
I jumped into my bed and yanked the blankets over my body and curled up in a ball, trying my best to even out my breathing. I held my eyes together so tightly they began to hurt from the pressure.
Then I heard his boots against the hardwood floor, getting louder and louder as he got closer.
My bedroom door made a creaking sound while being pushed open, and suddenly, I was holding my breath.
“Maddison.” The sound of Mike whispering my name gave me chills. I was excited and fearful at the same time. “Are you awake, pretty girl?”
I loved when he called me that.
Reminding myself to breathe, I let it out slowly and then inhaled once more.
My bed dipped at my head, and I told myself to just remain calm, though it was proving to be one of the hardest things I had ever had to do.
Mike remained quiet, but when I felt him place his hand on my hip, I couldn’t keep my body from reacting. Turning to look back over my shoulder, I noticed how tired he looked. “Hey,” he whispered, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Hi.” I finished rolling over, causing the hand he had rested upon my hip to rotate around and come to a stop at my waist. I looked down, his own gaze shifted to the same place, and together we sat quietly.
“I don’t know how to fix this thing between us.” I shifted my eyes back to meet his. The sadness that laid there was heartbreaking. “But I know I want to. More than anything, I need to make things right with us.”
