by S. Donahue
Is she flirting with me? Interesting.
I pull out the chair for her and notice her tight jeans as she sits down. I wish I could make her mine right now, but that will have to wait.
I pour her a glass of wine as she reaches in to grab a mini quiche.
“This is all really nice of you,” she says, taking a bite.
“Don’t even mention it. I wanted to do something nice for you.”
Seeing her sitting at the table makes me think back to high school…
***
It was January 2005. The principle’s voice blared over the loud speaker. “Please be sure to pick up your raffle tickets in the cafeteria during your lunch periods.”
I was screwed, because I had lacrosse practice during my lunch that day. On the days I had practice, I usually bulked up on breakfast and then ate a healthy protein bar for lunch. My lunch period was during third, so I had to figure out a way to sneak down to the cafeteria during another period. It would probably have to be fifth; I had a really cool teacher during that period.
My fifth-period English class was with P. As I walked into the classroom, he was talking to some girl, Erica.
“Hey dude, what’s up?” I asked.
“Nothing much,” he replied.
“I need to go to the caf to get my raffle tickets. I’m gonna ask Mr. Thompkins if I can.”
“I’ll go, too, because I didn’t pick mine up either,” he said while flirting with Erica.
Mr. Thompkins was a cool teacher. He wanted to be liked and had a very laid-back attitude.
We were working on individual assignments while he sat behind his desk, so I decided to ask, “Mr. Thompkins, Parker and I need to go to the cafeteria to pick up our tickets. Is it okay?”
“Yeah, here’s the hall pass. Hurry back.”
Carrie had fifth-period lunch. It sucked that we had different lunch times that year. The only time we really got to see each other was after school if I didn’t have practice, in between classes, and on weekends when I didn’t have practice or games.
I spotted her at her normal lunch table with her usual cheerleading clique. I was debating whether or not to stop and see her. I needed to get back to English class.
“P, you want to stop and see the girls for a minute?”
“Laney is over there.” He scrunched his nose up in her direction.
“And…”
“You know how I feel about her.”
“Just don’t make eye contact with her,” I suggested.
“She’s a stalker.”
“She is not.”
“Whatever.”
Carrie hadn’t spotted me yet. As I was walking toward her table, I saw her making fun of Hailey, who was sitting by herself. I heard Carrie say out loud, “Why do you even come to the cafeteria to sit by yourself. Oh I know, so you can eat all the food they serve.” She laughed out loud and all of her followers laughed along with her. I could tell Hailey was embarrassed but was holding it in. I couldn’t understand why Carrie was so obsessed with making fun of Hailey. I’m sure she had a complex due to the teasing.
I walked up to the table. All the girls said in unison, “Hi Chase.”
Carrie gave them a dirty look. She got up and gave me a hug. “Hi, baby,” she squealed.
“Hi,” I replied. “Come here a minute.” I pulled her to the side. I know P heard her, too—we both looked at each other when we heard her tormenting Hailey.
“Were you making fun of Hailey again?” I asked.
“Seriously? You’re questioning me?”
“Yeah, we heard you when we walked up.”
“Why are you always defending her?” Carrie snapped.
“Because it’s not right.”
“Do you want her or something?”
“Come on, Car. You think I want everyone and they want me.”
“Well, you’re always sticking up for her.”
I looked over at Hailey sitting at the table, picking at her lunch. She was probably nervous about eating in front of the popular girls. Our eyes met. We’d had some sort of unspoken friendship since I ran out after her during gym class when Carrie was tormenting her a few months ago.
“Can you just leave her alone? What you do reflects on me, because you’re my girlfriend.”
“Whatever, Chase. I’ll do what I want,” she said with attitude.
“Fine, don’t come over after school today,” I said, knowing that would piss her off.
“You’re breaking up with me over her?”
“No. I just don’t like your attitude today.”
“Come on, baby, don’t be mad.”
“I’ll see you later,” I said.
“No, don’t go,” she whined.
“I have class. Mr. Thompkins is going to have an army out looking for me.”
“I don’t want the other girls seeing us fight. Make it like we’re happy. Kiss me goodbye.”
“You have issues.” I kissed her cheek.
“I love you,” she said, smiling.
“I love you, too,” I replied out of habit, but I truly did love Carrie. She was my first love. We had been together for so long that we’d started to get on each other’s nerves. Carrie kissed my cheek back. Hailey looked over at us.
“Why don’t you invite Hailey to the party Friday night?”
“Does the coach have you on drugs?”
“You can be a nice person. I know the real you.”
“Chase, it’s never going to happen.”
“Well then, I’ll do it.”
“Don’t you dare. I’ll be the laughing stock of the school.”
I ignored her and walked over to Hailey’s table. She had a book in her hand. “That’s a pretty good book you’re reading,” I said, trying to get her attention.
“You’ve read it?”
“Yes. Listen, do you want to go to a party with all of us on Friday night?”
Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched the interaction between me and Hailey. They were waiting for her answer. Her facial expression changed. She was angry and she stood up. “If you think it’s a joke, it’s not funny. You’re just like the rest of them. I wouldn’t go to a party with you or your friends for a million dollars.” She picked up her book and backpack and then stormed away.
Carrie started laughing. “You should have left the loser alone. I warned you.”
I stood there perplexed. I didn’t understand. What went down?
“P, I’m out of here.”
“Hold on, I’m coming.” He ran to catch up to me. “Dude, what was all that about?” he asked.
“Carrie picks on that girl. It’s not right. The shit she does reflects on me.”
“I told you to leave her.”
“It’s not that easy. I have feelings for her. When it’s good between us… it’s good. She’s different with me.”
“That’s not true. I’ve seen you fight. Chase, dude, do you like Hailey?”
“What do you mean?” Why would he ask me this question?
“Like her? Want to date her? Why do you always protect her?”
“I don’t know. It’s instinct. Like her? I have a girlfriend. I don’t cheat.”
“I think you like her,” he teased.
I felt the need to protect her from my bitch girlfriend… that’s all.
“I think you’re lying to yourself,” he continued.
“I have a question.” I knew I was going to regret this. “Do you think Hailey’s fat?”
“I wouldn’t say fat, like, obese. She’s just not a stick model.”
“So why does Carrie torment her?’
“Maybe she sees what I see.”
“What’s that?” I was being defensive.
“That you like Hailey, and she may be threatened by her.”
“It’s more than that, but I’ll never know why. Hailey is beautiful on the inside and out,” I blurted out.
“How do you know that?”
“P, remember that d
ay I followed Hailey out to the hallway during gym class?”
“Yes.”
“Well, she was crying. I wiped her tears from her eyes. I wanted to kiss her. Don’t tell anyone.”
“I wouldn’t, but that would be bad, not just for you but for Hailey, too. Carrie would go ballistic, and she would make her life a living hell. Dude, you are my best friend since birth. Don’t do this. Get over it. Leave Hailey alone to deal with her own issues. It’s obvious from the scene in the cafeteria that she doesn’t want your help. You have an image to protect, and as much as I hate Carrie, you need to just stay with her, because she will destroy you. You are at the top of your game for scouts right now.”
I was listening to what P was saying, and he was right. That could bring bad consequences. I had to make the best decisions for everyone involved.
“You’re right. Come on, let’s get back to class. We’ve been gone long enough.”
I never thought about Hailey again after that day… Well… I didn’t tell anyone about it…
***
Present Day
I place the plates on the dining room table. Hailey gets up to get me another beer from the fridge.
“Sit down. You’re my guest. But thank you.” I smile.
Dinner in the dining room is more relaxing. I sit across from Hailey and just stare at her. There is so much I want to say, but I can’t get it out. I don’t know where to start.
She takes me from my thoughts. “Do you always eat so healthy?” she asks, picking up her fork.
“Because I play sports, I have to eat right and exercise. I spend crazy amounts of hours at the gym. I also run the track a lot.”
“Wow, that’s impressive. I exercise, but it’s because I have to. I had no choice but to change my habits. I gain weight just looking at food.”
I feel so sorry for her. I can’t imagine how she feels. “Hailey, I’m so sorry…”
“Chase, don’t. It’s not your fault.”
“It is. I couldn’t stop it. There’s something I have to tell you.” She looks confused, but I need to tell her the truth if I am planning on moving forward with her.
CHAPTER 16
Hailey
CHASE LOOKS rather serious. What could he possibly have to tell me? If it is anything related to my past, I’m not sure I want to know about it. Although my secret crush has grown up, he still has that look that attracted me to him. I can’t help but stare at him. He is so adorable, but in a manly way.
“Chase, don’t. I don’t know if I can handle what you’re about to say. I want to forget about what happened so long ago.”
He pushes his chair back and gets up from the table. I swallow hard.
“I need to tell you this. I want you to know.”
I feel frightened, not physically but emotionally. “It can wait. Maybe I should go.” I need to avert this situation; I need to run.
I try to get away and he grabs my arm. “Hailey, stop. I need you to hear this. I promise you won’t be hurt. I wouldn’t hurt you, and you know this. I’ve proven myself to you.”
“That was ten years ago. I don’t know you.”
“Get to know me. Stop holding back.” He stands in front of me, blocking me. “Stop hiding from your feelings. I saw what you went through. I know how much pain you felt.”
“You have no idea. I try to put that in my past. I don’t want to relive it.”
“I need you to know what I felt back then,” he says.
I’m afraid to hear what he has to say. Is he going to say that he felt how the others felt? Is he going to say that I repulsed him with my fat self?
“I saw your face. When I saw you, I knew how Carrie affected you. I wanted to take your pain away. I would have beaten up everyone who’d hurt you if I could have, but they were girls.”
I smirk. “You couldn’t have protected me. Carrie was your girlfriend.”
“I think about it. I play it over and over in my head. I don’t know why she did what she did to you. The only thing I can come up with, based on my recollection and P’s theory, is that she tormented you for a reason. She thought you wanted me, and she also thought I wanted you.”
“She must have been on drugs back then, because that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Why is that stupid?”
I guess he’s forgotten what I looked like in high school. He could never have wanted anyone like me.
“Seriously, Chase, don’t go there.”
“Hailey.” He stares at me.
Tears begin to form. All this reminiscing is killing me.
“What?” I can’t look at him.
“Do you remember in high school when you were in the hallway crying and I came out to check on you?”
“Every day of my life. I was humiliated that day.”
“I wiped your tears away that day, and I really wanted to kiss you that day, too, but I couldn’t.” He lifts my chin up. Tears are flowing down my face and he wipes them away… again. “But I can now.”
He caresses my face with his hand and pulls me toward him. My brain tries to register what he’s just said to me. Filled with emotion, I allow him to invade my mouth. He glides his hand along my jaw as his tongue finds mine. I bite my lip as he breaks away.
“I want to touch you,” he confides.
“I’ve always dreamed of your touch, your hands on me,” I say, daydreaming after his sensual kiss.
“Your dreams are about to become reality.”
“Are you trying to provoke me?”
“Is it working?”
“Maybe.”
CHAPTER 17
Chase
I DIDN’T THINK Hailey would believe me when I told her the truth. She still seems to have low self-esteem, even though she is absolutely beautiful. One minute we are about to ravish each other, and the next minute, she changes. I knew this might be too much, but she confuses the hell out of me.
“This is too fast for me,” she sighs.
“I won’t kiss you again until you give me permission.” I back away from her. I would never force a woman into something she didn’t want.
“It’s not that I don’t want you, too. I don’t know... I’m just scared.”
“Don’t be scared. I would never hurt you. Do you want to leave?” I feel scared of her answer.
“No, of course not. Let’s finish dinner.”
We sit in our seats across from each other. I am aching for her… to touch her. Maybe we should have gone to a restaurant instead. I didn’t think emotions would be brewing like this. Her face looks like she is in deep thought.
“Are you okay?” I ask, raising my eyebrows at her.
“Yes. I’m sorry. I overreacted. I don’t want my old feelings to interfere with dinner. Let’s start over.” She reaches out her hand. “Hi, I’m Hailey, and it’s so great to meet you.”
I take her hand in mine. “Hi, I’m Chase. You are a very beautiful woman, and I would love to get to know you better.”
She hesitates and then gets up from her chair. She walks around the table.
I’m not sure what her move is about. Is she leaving? I told her I wouldn’t touch her.
“Chase.”
I look up at her. “Yes.”
She smashes her lips against mine. This move definitely catches me off guard. She likes me. She breaks the kiss, smiles, and goes back to her chair. As she sits back down, before I can speak, the doorbell rings.
What the fuck? What perfect timing…? I’m certainly not expecting anyone.
“Can you excuse me for a minute? I need to answer the door.” I’m hoping they have the wrong address. My parents are in California visiting my aunt and uncle, so it can’t be them. I look through the side window and see P standing there. Why is he here? I have to answer or he’ll never go away.
“Hey bro, what’s up?”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. “The Knicks game. We were supposed to watch it tonight. I brought the p
izza.”
“Shit man, I forgot. This day went too fast for me. I have to tell you something.”
“What?”
“Hailey’s here. I cooked dinner for her.”
“Oh damn. I’ll go.” He starts to walk away, shaking his head. “Whatever happened to bros before hoes?”
“Dude, you’re an ass. Come in. You drove all this way. I’ll talk to her.”
“Now you need permission from the date.”
I glare at him. “You have no feelings whatsoever.”
“None,” he says, laughing.
We head back inside. Hailey stands up from her chair. “Hailey, you remember Parker from school?”
“Yes, of course.” She shakes his hand and looks at me, confused.
I grab her hand. “P, I’m gonna talk to Hailey in private for a moment.”
He eyes us both up strangely and goes to sit in the living room. When he leaves, I whisper to Hailey, “I forgot we were watching the Knicks game tonight, but I could have sworn I told him. I must have been so wrapped up in thoughts of you, I forgot about everything else.
“That’s sweet, but I can just go,” she says.
“No, I want you to stay. It will be okay. P is my best friend, and you are my… friend… too. I’m sure all three of us can hang out.” I try to convince her, but really I’m trying to convince myself. I know how P can be.
“Okay, I’ll see how it goes.” Her smile is genuine.
I am dying inside. I hope to God P acts on his best behavior. She is sensitive, and he knows how to break people down. He also has no filter and says whatever comes out of his mouth.
I hope I’ve made the right decision.
CHAPTER 18
Hailey
SO MUCH FOR A GOOD DATE. I’m sitting here with two guys who were the most popular boys in high school. Who would have ever thought that would happen? Parker is eating his pizza with not a care in the world. He keeps looking over at me. Chase looks aggravated but keeps smiling at me. The whole situation is nuts. Parker finally speaks to me after twenty minutes.
“You look good, Hailey. It’s good to see you.”
