“I did not have nightmare either,” he informed her as he began stroking into her from behind with slow, languorous rolls. “But you are very wet, zhena. Maybe you had other kind of dream?”
“Pregnancy hormones,” she gasped out breathlessly. “I think it’s the pregnancy hormones.”
He chuckled against the back of her neck. “You should have woken me sooner. Ask for my help with pregnancy hormones,” he said. He increased the speed of his strokes then. But only a little. Only enough to make her even more aware of the urgent need he was building like a fire inside her.
Her head fell forward, her chin resting on her chest as he filled her up from behind. Oh God, he was so big, stretching her to near impossible lengths. Yet it didn’t feel uncomfortable to her. In fact, it felt like he belonged there.
She moaned, both wonderstruck and terrified by the aching hole he’d created inside her. The one that could only be filled by him.
Yet he still asked, “Do you want this, zhena? Do you want me?”
“Yes,” she half-cried, half-moaned. And this time he didn’t have to instruct her any further for her to say, “Yes, I want you, muzehnek.”
She surrendered quickly this time, not wanting him to toy with her again. Not knowing if she could stand it, with the pressing need to climax riding her hard. But she was amply rewarded for her speedy concession. His hand dropped down to the front of her, and the ball of his palm met the button at the top of her slit, rubbing it in the same lazy manner he was stroking into her from behind. Leisurely, like this was the Nikolai Rustanov version of a stroll through the park on a Sunday afternoon.
But the double attention soon drove her over the edge. “Oh, my God… I’m… I’m…”
She never finished the sentence. Her head kicked back and her back arched as the orgasm ripped through her, hot as a fever and so electric, she could still feel it still tingling inside her even after she was done.
She waited for Nikolai to finish, too, like he always did, but instead he pulled out of her and flipped her over. Sam laughed, her head falling back against the pillows, as she waited for him to slide into her again. But… nothing happened.
And when she opened her eyes, she saw he was now standing on his knees between her veed legs, his sex hard and glistening with her recent cum, his hands heavy on top of her knees. He stared down at her, face grim.
“Is there something wrong?” she asked him.
“You are pregnant,” he answered with a heavy frown.
Well, that tossed her sexy spirits right into the dumpster. He might not have noticed the swell of her stomach the night before, she realized then, but in the harsh light of morning, it was easy to see how her formerly flat stomach was now bulging out.
There was nothing wrong with her body. She knew that. It was just doing what it was supposed to do in order to make room for the baby growing inside of her. Still, his words made her feel self-conscious, like the least attractive woman on the planet. Not to mention the desperate picture she was probably painting, lying there with her legs spread wide, while he was getting all sorts of turned off by her body.
She sat up. Remedying the situation as best she could by drawing up her knees so he no longer had a close-up view of her stomach, breasts, or sex. Problem solved.
But Nikolai reacted liked she’d just handed him the gravest insult. “Why do you hide yourself?”
She had no idea how to answer that and it was an effort to keep her voice level as she replied, “I’m obviously not what you’re used to, and I guess I’m trying to say you don’t have to finish if you don’t find me attractive in the light of day.”
Confusion flickered in his eyes. “Zhena, I try hard to understand you, but I think I must not be translating your words correctly. Why you say I don’t find you attractive? I find you very beautiful. I told you this from start.”
“Yes, the start. When I wasn’t pregnant.”
He shook his head. “You think pregnant stomach makes you not attractive?” he asked, as if he were honestly struggling to understand her meaning because of their language differences.
God, this conversation! Why couldn’t a pit just open underneath her so she could get out of it already?
“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “You just went very still and when I asked what was wrong, you said I was pregnant. What was I supposed to take away from that?”
“I don’t know, too,” he answered with an angry frown. “But zhena, I am very tired of you always thinking worst thing of me.”
“What else am I supposed to think? Look, I know I’m pretty, but I also know I’m not perfect. I’m not a stick and I’ve got a lot of junk in my trunk, and now a belly. And I’m sorry, but how am I not supposed to think the worst thing after you say you can’t get yours because I’m pregnant.”
“Zhena, look at me,” he said, his voice low and quiet.
This time he didn’t wait for her to obey his command. He took her chin in his hand and forced it up so she was looking straight into his angry gaze.
“Zhena, I want fuck you. It is not pretty thing to say, but it is true. Even when you hate me, even when you accuse me of false thing because you think I’m not good man. Even then, I want to be inside you, fucking you. I sometimes wish this is not true. Sleeping on floor I wish this much.”
Sam froze, beyond stunned. Not only because his words were harsh, maybe the least romantic thing that had ever been said to her, but also because… her body totally responded to them, stirring anew, her breasts swelling against her thighs, her legs pressing against the crook of her arms because they wanted to open.
Open for him.
She looked away, knowing she wouldn’t be able to meet his eyes as she said the next words. “You’re right. We do have a lot in common. That’s exactly how I feel about fucking you. And it’s something I really, really wish weren’t true.”
She still wasn’t looking at him, but she could feel the heat of his gaze on her in the silent seconds that followed.
Could feel his tension and that he was keeping himself coiled tightly even before he said, “Zhena, you are pregnant and I don’t want to hurt you,” he said. “So I stopped. I want to fuck you badly. Too badly. I was trying to want you less before I took you again.”
Another harsh explanation. But dammit, if it didn’t bring a smile to her lips. His confession made her feel beautiful… powerful. Like she was the one in control here, not him. And that was a new feeling—especially when it came to Nikolai.
“Poor Nikolai,” she said, uncurling her body. “You’re all riled up. Maybe you should sit down…”
She pushed against his chest, and he went down, falling backwards just like she wanted.
“And now maybe you should lean back against the footboard,” she instructed, crawling into position between his legs. “Put your hands beside you and keep them there.”
He hesitated, but did as she said, probably wondering if she was really going where it looked like she was going.
He didn’t have to wonder long. She took his large member in her palm and began stroking him, her fisted hand going up and down.
She could feel him watching her do this, and somehow that turned her on even more. So much so, that when pre-cum started to pearl out of the top of his mushroomed head, she found herself leaning forward without any conscious thought to lick it off. Just one lick, meant to clean more than anything.
But Nikolai’s sharp intake of air emboldened her. She let her mouth go down further and opened her throat so she could…
He groaned above her, like she was torturing him.
But that must not have been the case, because soon she felt his hands on either side of her head, encouraging her on as he said, “Zhena… you kill me. Da, zhena. Da!”
She loved the way his voice strained when he said that. It sent an erotic power thrill through her entire body. He was too large to take in all the way, but she did the best she could, fisting the bottom of his shaft and keeping her throat open so
she didn’t gag. Every time she ran her tongue over a new batch of pre-cum, it felt like an award for driving him crazy.
She tried to keep a cool head as she dominated him with her mouth, but tending to him made it that much harder for her. Her pussy soon swelled with rekindled arousal and her fingers rose up to her newly soaked core, massaging with a mind of their own.
Wrong move.
“Zhena, what are you doing?” He bit out the question, his voice stretched to his very limits, as if the sight of her touching herself actually pained him.
Her temporary power grab soon came to an unceremonious end.
Nikolai pulled himself out of her mouth, hauled her up the length of her body, and slammed her down on his wet erection.
“Look what you make me do, zhena. Look what you make me do.”
He grabbed a fistful of her twists and used them to anchor her in place against his chest as he moved her entire body up and down on his staff, so rough, she could feel every forced thrust at the back of her tunnel, but so tight, she could also feel it at the front of her slit, in the place that mattered most.
Even though this was supposed to be about him getting his, the position he’d put her in was too much. She soon came a second time, with a helpless cry as her whole body melted into his. Which only made him hold her tighter as he thrust up into her, his hips pistoning at an impossible speed.
“Look at what you make me do—” He released into her with an angry yell that went on for a very long time, before he ended it with a much softer, “Zhena.”
“Zhena, zhena…” he crooned, his rough hands falling out of her hair. “I am sorry. I tried to let you, but I couldn’t. Did I hurt you?”
She laughed. “No, you definitely didn’t hurt me.”
He didn’t join in. Just said, “We are past first trimester. Books says sex is okay after that.” But he still sounded worried.
“I’m fine. More than fine, I swear.” Sam threw him a teasing smile, wondering if she’d ever stop finding the fact that her rough hockey player was reading and apparently abiding by pregnancy books so amusing.
If he was like this now, what was he going to be like when the baby actually came? Would he be the one telling her what kind of diaper cream to use or weighing in on her breastfeeding options? This little quirk, she thought with an inward smile, could get annoying very fast. But it wouldn’t make her love him any less—
She paused, her insides curdling.
“What is wrong?” he asked. “Why do you suddenly freeze?”
“Um…” she said, scrambling to think of an excuse that didn’t involve her feeling something for him that he didn’t feel for her.
“Did I hurt you? The baby?”
“No, no,” she assured him out loud. At least not physically, she thought to herself.
She gave him her smile. Her best Sam smile. “I was just wondering what was on the agenda for breakfast. I am eating for two now…”
37
THE answer to that question was a whole lot. She came out of the shower to a veritable feast. Breads, pastries, smoked meats, savory pies, fresh fruit, and an assortment of teas, all set up like a colorful brochure for Greek brunch on a white table standing between two sea blue rattan chairs.
“Eat. Now.” Nikolai issued the command as he headed out of the room. “I must make business call, but don’t wait. Eat.”
Apparently, Nikolai took claims of needing food very seriously, and that caused her stomach to twist as she watched the door close behind him. She’d only said she was hungry to get him off the subject of what had her so shook.
No, not past tense, even after a long shower, she was still feeling it. And now she stood there, staring at the food. Completely shaken by his overwhelming gesture of making sure she was fed before he went to make his call.
Her heart beat erratically, continuing to fill up with a love so big, it made her clutch at her stomach.
Nikolai had read her case file, but a case file didn’t tell you the real stuff. Like how she’d never been taken on a date by any man—much less one involving her favorite movie in an exotic location. No file would have pointed out to him that she had taken care of her mother for much of her life and then gone on to a career that involved taking care of other women just like her. She’d never cooked for herself before moving into his house, and only did so now because it was important to get good, healthy food into Pavel.
He had no way of knowing such huge, romantic gestures combined with something as simple as ordering her a crap ton of food would send her straight over the edge.
This was too much, she thought to herself. Too much…
Panic squeezed her chest tight and made her feel like the room was closing in on her.
Air. She needed air.
With her heart beating loud in her ears, Sam pushed through the balcony’s French doors. Once outside, she ran past the infinity pool to the white railing, gripping it tight as she dragged ragged breaths into her lungs. Willing herself to detach, to not feel what she was feeling. Willing herself to not have fallen head over heels in love with Nikolai Rustanov.
But it was impossible. He’d played his hand too well. Stepped to her better than any other guy ever had, including himself a few months ago. It was like a new Nikolai had taken her on this date, and this new Nikolai had found the special key. The one that unlocked all her doors, so he could just let himself into her heart. Easily. And now he was making himself at home, as if he’d always belonged there.
What had changed, she wondered. Why had he done all of this for her? It was like after telling her love was a silly custom and standing by that conviction when he asked her to marry him, he’d done a complete 180 and spent the last twenty-four hours practically forcing her to fall head over heels in love with him. But why would he do that? Why would he—
“Da, I did what you said, exactly what you told me.”
Nikolai’s heavily accented voice floated up to her, as if called forth by her panicked questions. Sam looked all around, but couldn’t see him.
“Da, it worked. Exactly like you said.”
Nikolai’s voice again. Sam realized it was coming from below. Nikolai must have gone down the stairs to make the call, not realizing she’d be able to hear him if she came out to the balcony. But of course, why would he think she’d be on the balcony when he’d left her in the hotel room with enough food to provide all of Ruth’s House with a morning brunch?
An unfamiliar sound suddenly split the air, deep and almost growly. Laughter, Sam realized after a confused second. Nikolai was laughing at something someone was saying on the other side of the phone!
“Da, she now acts like real wife in all ways, just as I wanted.” Nikolai sounded smug, like he’d just won the sex lottery. “You are better business man than me. Thank you for your good advice. I think I have no more problems with her. She is how you say—in my pocket now.”
Sam stumbled back from the railing, pain exploding inside her chest and head as complete understanding set in. With sudden clarity, she recalled Pavel’s birthday party. Watching Nikolai talk with his cousin, the expert businessman, with such a grim expression that she’d been somewhat concerned there was something terribly wrong with the team.
Shortly after she observed that conversation, Isaac had asked her about clearing her schedule. And two weeks later, they’d flown to Greece in his cousin’s jet.
It now dawned on her that it hadn’t been the team they’d been discussing with such grim faces, but her. How to fix it so Nikolai got exactly the kind of wife he wanted. One who put out. The perfect piece of ass.
How to make her surrender.
And despite the fact that he was long dead, she could hear her stepfather’s cruel laughter ringing across the gorgeous Greek sky.
38
NIKOLAI jogged back up the stairs with an unfamiliar lightness in his heart. A lightness that made him want to whistle. A lightness that made him wonder if he had time to keep the long delayed promise to his w
ife before the next leg of their trip. The one about making sure she liked how he would eat her for breakfast.
But the scene that greeted him when he opened the door brought him up short.
“Zhena, what is this?” he demanded.
Instead of sitting at the table as he’d expected, he found his wife fully dressed in a short-sleeved blouse and pencil skirt. Her purple suitcase was out on the bed and she was throwing things into it. Her things from last night, including the designer gold dress, which she crumpled into a ball before tossing it into her case.
She didn’t answer his question, just went into the bathroom and came out with a bunch of toiletries.
“Why do you pack?” he asked.
No answer, and the toiletries joined the dress inside her suitcase. She went over to the couch and came back to the bed with her wedged heels from the night before. Still not answering him. Still not looking at him.
But this time he went over to the bed, closing the suitcase flap before she could put in the shoes. “Talk to me, zhena. What is this?”
She stopped, her heels in mid-air, her lips pressed into a thin line that made her look older than she was. Older and more weary.
She fixed her eyes on the view beyond the balcony’s French windows as she said, “I miss Pavel and Back Up. I’ve never been away from them this long. I’d like to go home now.”
She said this in a dull monotone, as if they’d stayed too long at a party. Nikolai shook his head, not understanding her. Or any of this for that matter.
“We have one more day,” he reminded her. “Plan is for us to go to Poros.” He pointed out the picture window. “An island across sea. We will rent scooters, eat at café, go to beach, and watch sunset from famous clock tower.”
He didn’t know where this new Sam had come from. Brusque and dismissive, as if last night had not happened. As if what had happened between them this morning hadn’t happened either. But he wanted the woman he’d woken up with. His Sam. His zhena.
He came around the bed, desperate to make her understand what he had planned for them.
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