Rich groaned. ‘No, for Christ’s sake, not a bloody foreign station, Scott. I need to concentrate.’
Silently I thanked Rich.
Eventually he found a station playing ‘Jennifer Juniper’, which was quite relaxing and I felt myself getting heavy-eyed again. But I forced myself to stay awake so I could try and think up excuses for being late. My mind wouldn’t allow me to concentrate though. It flitted here and there, from Scott in his tight bell-bottoms and his cute rear, to The Bitch and her threat to ‘have him’ whenever she wanted. I re-ran the episode in the loo with those horrid girls until my heart thudded so hard I thought I’d pass out.
To distract myself I thought about the Philips cassette player I really needed to have and soon, but then I worried about Scott going to Scotland, then on a cruise for absolutely yonks; I would die not seeing him for ages. Then panic set in as I went over the scene which no doubt awaited me at home. Soon my eyes started to close.
I woke up as Rich parked the van behind the shops where their flat was. A blast of cold air hit my face as the doors opened and everyone climbed out. I began to shake and it wasn’t from the cold. My life was about to end. Mum was sure to ban me from seeing Scott and the band ever again. I was going to die.
‘Come on Renza, let’s go and face the music.’ Scott put his arm round me and kissed me tenderly on the mouth. He nestled his face in my hair and whispered, ‘ no one’s ever gonna to split us, not even your mum.’
‘Hang on mate, I’m coming with you.’ Rich locked the van and came over to us. He winked at me and stubbed his roll-up out on the concrete flower pot by the staircase leading to the flats.
It was nearly 7 as I opened the gate. Rich and Scott came behind me, wouldn’t do for me to be seen in public with a bloke’s arms around me. Ma would freak!
I wobbled up to the door and was about to knock when it flew open and the Wicked Witch of the West stuck her angry face out. I didn’t bother knocking my heels together in the hope that they would take me ‘Home’ because I was flippin’ home – unfortunately.
‘And what time do you call this my lady?’ she hissed, keeping her voice down so as not to wake the neighbours. ‘Even the bloody milkman got here before you.’
She peered over my shoulder at Scott and Rich who were standing about three feet away. ‘You’ve got a bloody nerve,’ she glared at them both. ‘What the hell have you been up to, staying out all night?’ she folded her arms and cocked her head to one side, waiting.
‘We’re very sorry Mrs Rossi. The van broke down on Salisbury Plain and it took ages to get to a phone and then get someone out to see to it.’ Rich stepped forward with an apologetic smile.
‘Likely bloody story,’ came the retort.
‘It’s true, Mrs R,’ Scott ventured, moving forward with a look of contrition on his face.
‘Think I came down in the last shower?’ Mum stepped outside and gave them the once over. ‘You think I don’t know what you’ve been up to?’
She looked up at the windows of next door trying to see if Mrs Digby had been listening. As far as I could see the curtains were still closed. Thank God.
‘Come on, Mrs Rossi,’ Scott pleaded. ‘Nothing has happened. The van broke down.’
‘Really,’ Rich added, ‘you must’ve heard it making a racket all week.’
‘So why didn’t you get it serviced before you dragged my daughter half way across the country then?’ Mum snapped angrily.
‘Because it settled down and anyway it costs a lot to get it serviced,’ Rich explained, but the look on Mum’s face said she was having none of it.
‘Ha!’ Mum turned on Rich. ‘Get yourselves proper employment and perhaps you could afford a decent van.’ She stepped further into the garden and glanced up at the next door’s windows again.
‘Well that’s your opinion, Mrs Rossi, and of course you’re entitled to it,’ Scott snapped back with some force.
Mum gave him one of her raised eyebrow looks. I knew that this was a ‘Red for danger’ sign, which should not be ignored, Scott didn’t.
‘Yes it is, and I am, and I will remind you that she is MY daughter and I make the rules in this house and I do not approve of her running round showing herself up with the likes of you.’
The one eyebrow remained raised. Bloody hell.
‘The likes of me?’ Scott went white. ‘And just what is the “likes” of me?’
‘One of the great unwashed and unemployed,’ hissed Mum in his face, making him step back, just missing her immaculate flower bed. ‘I knew there’d be trouble, your parents being divorced, and your hair.’
‘One of the unwashed?’ Scott drew himself up to his full six feet and put his hands on his beautiful, slim hips. ‘And what have my parents got to do with anything? And—’
‘Come on,’ Rich stepped between them,’let’s not get into throwing insults. Look, Mrs Rossi, we’re sorry and we assure you nothing at all happened to her. Everyone was with her all the time and we looked after her really well, didn’t we?’ He turned to me nodding.
I nodded back. ‘Mum, there were at least seven others with me the whole time, three other girls and the band, nothing happened, really.’ I gave her the wide eyed innocent look which hardly ever worked, but was worth a try.
The gate opened and the paper boy came up to us. ‘Morning,’ he said and handed Scott the paper.
‘You’re late,’ snapped Mum and snatched the paper from Scott as if he was about to steal it.
‘At least I beat the paper boy.’ It came out before I could stop myself.
‘You, get inside, I’ll deal with you later.’ Mum shoved me through the door. ‘Wait until your father hears about this, he’ll have plenty to say!’
I glimpsed Scott winking at me and went into the sitting room to wait for the end of the world.
Mum stood on the step. ‘You, out of my house, now!’ she yelled and shooed Scott and Rich towards the gate. ‘Stay away from my daughter in future or there’ll be serious trouble.’ She walked to the gate and shut it after them.
Scott and Rich stood on the other side and I heard Scott say, ‘I’m sorry but I will not. She is over sixteen and can make her own mind up. I’ll see her again and I hope that you don’t give her any grief over this, she’s done nothing wrong and neither have we.’
‘We’re sorry she’s late, Mrs Rossi,’ Rich leaned on the gate. ‘You’re right to be upset and that’s normal, but she’s home safe and no one is any the wiser.’ He glanced up at the neighbour’s windows. ‘Please, don’t take it out on her.’
Mum walked back to the door as I stood at the window and waved to Scott.
‘We’ll come and do the garden for you and finish the garage doors when we get the time off again,’ added Rich hopefully. As if that would gain him gold stars!
Mum said nothing and slammed the door. My stomach hit the floor.
Renza’s Diary
June 30th 1968 – later the same morning
Screams filled the house and I ran downstairs as fast as I could, avoiding breaking my neck on the various toys left on them by the kids. I’d been dozing, glad that Mum had to get ready for work. She’d ordered me to bed earlier, promising she’d ‘deal with me later’. A short reprieve.
I ran into the kitchen to find Lucy and Crispin white with terror and Mum flat on her back on the floor. Our once red and white kitchen was now mainly red. I stared, not able to take anything in. What was she doing on the floor?
Lucy tugged at my arm and I looked at her for the first time. She was covered in what looked like blood. Glancing at Crispin I saw he was too. Actually Mum was covered in blood and so were the kitchen walls and ceiling.
Mum was muttering something, but Lucy started to scream again and I couldn’t hear her. I yelled at the top of my voice for Simon to get downstairs right away.
‘Mum’s had an accident! Don’t argue! Just get here now!’
I bent down to Mum, ignoring the two stricken little ones, trying to work out wha
t had happened. Footsteps thudded down the stairs and Simon appeared in the kitchen in his pyjamas. It was still early. He gawped at us all, turning white when he saw Mum.
‘Run next door and call for the doctor,’ I yelled at him as I made tourniquets for both of Mum’s arms. The blood was pumping like mad. It had spurted on the ceiling and the walls were running with it. It smelled funny. ‘Get Sophia to grab these two and sort them out! Take them out of here! Quick!’ I held both of Mum’s wrists tightly. He stood gaping at me. ‘Don’t hang about, go now!’ I screamed at him, ‘and mind all the glass on the floor.’
‘Not in my pyjamas,’ he moaned.
‘She’ll die if you don’t get to the surgery now, bugger your pyjamas!’ I wanted to thump him.
He jumped and ran out the door.
‘Sophia, get here now!’ I shouted as loudly as I could. The front door slammed. Trust Simon to forget to call her.
The two little ones just stared at Mum, wide eyed and stricken, but I couldn’t worry about them. Mum was out cold and I was on the verge of panic. I hoped the doctor would be quick. I was covered in blood and my fingers slipped as I held the deep cuts in her wrists to try and stem the flow. It was not spurting as much as before, but it was still pumping with her pulse. I hoped Simon explained that Mum had cut her wrists.
I grabbed two tea towels and bound her wrists with them, still pressing hard on them both. I prayed the doctor would be available or at least someone from the surgery would come, one of the nurses perhaps. I told the kids to move away from the broken glass on the floor and yelled for Sophia again. Eventually I heard her coming down the stairs. Crispin started to cry for Sophia.
The doctor was let in by Sophia who’d nearly fainted when she saw the blood; she hates blood. He came in with his big black bag and knelt next to Mum and asked me what had happened and how long ago. I told him what I could – which wasn’t much really – but Lucy said Mum had opened the broom cupboard and knocked a crystal vase off the shelf, she tried to save it from smashing on the floor, bashing it against the door as she reached out with both hands to grasp it; it had shattered between her arms and the shelf, cutting both her wrists.
He bandaged her wrists, gave her something from his bag and told me to help her on to the sofa. Luckily Sophia had the sense to grab some towels and place them on the sofa first. If we got blood on it, we’d be dead.
Mum seemed drowsy but otherwise all right. Doctor French said she should go up to bed when she could manage the stairs and not to worry, she hadn’t lost as much blood as it seemed. Because it had spurted so forcefully, it had sprayed a greater distance, making it appear as if there was more of it than there actually was. Also, the colour of the cupboards made it look worse.
I’d got to her in time apparently. Saved her life. He said he’d removed shards of glass from her wrists and there didn’t seem to be any left. He’d send the nurse round to stitch her up as soon as he got back to the surgery, which, lucky for Mum, was next to the chemists where she worked, at the end of the shops. If there hadn’t been a doctor so close, he said, it would’ve been a different matter.
‘Lucky for your mother she has such a sensible daughter,’ he told me, patting my arm as he closed his bag. ‘Your quick thinking definitely saved her life,’ he added as I showed him to the door. ‘Good job I’ve known you all for so long. We get so many pranks and false alarms these days......’ He shook his head, lips pursed.
‘Thank you, Doctor French, I’m sorry to have dragged you away from surgery this morning,’ I said, my heart still doing the tango in my chest.
‘Renza, no problem. I’ll call at the chemist and tell Mr Blackmore that your mother won’t be in this morning, and that she needs rest for the next few days. Keep her in bed and keep her quiet, and any sign of anything wrong, you send one of the kids round. Use the phone box to ring me at home, if necessary, and I’ll come.’ He got to the gate and smiled. ‘You did well, are you sure you are all right?’
I nodded.
‘Good, I’ll pop in after surgery in the morning to check on her, but I am confident she’ll be fine. The district nurse will be round to sew her up as soon as I get back.’
He waved and walked off, stopping at Mrs Digby’s gate, waving to her as well. I guessed she was on sentry duty, having seen the doctor calling. I wondered how long before the whole village heard about it.
Mum will have had a heart attack, a miscarriage or a stroke by the time Mrs Digby has finished. Or worse still, she’ll think I’m pregnant, and that will make her really happy – she’d love that bit of gossip.
Back inside I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen and Sophia made some coffee – since giving up tea and sugar in the war so her father could have her rations, Mum only drank coffee – and I managed to force Simon, after numerous threats, to take the little ones upstairs to bath and dress them.
Doctor French said they were both all right, just a bit shaken up, and he said they’d soon get over it. I thought Simon could take them down the Rec for a while to play football or something, take their minds off it all, especially Lucy who was always asking Mum if she was going to die, usually when Mum was dozing in the chair. Lucy would try and prise her eyes open, to make sure she was still alive.
Thinking about football, I noticed Jasper was missing. Where had he been when the drama kicked off? Sophia said he went out earlier, as soon as he was up, doing something naughty, but I thought he’d gone to ask the band to come out to play.
The nurse came about ten minutes after Mum had finished her coffee. Mum was starting to complain about all the jobs she needed doing and wasn’t able to, now that she was forced to rest. Of course I knew what she was telling me. My last chance to see Scott before the band went to Scotland later in the day had just gone out the window.
Mum complained all the way upstairs to bed, but the nurse soon told her to stop and save her energy, she was sure I was ‘a very capable girl’ so could be trusted to do what she wanted. Mum just sniffed and then gave me a long list of jobs she wanted me to do straight away, no messing around.
After the nurse had gone she summoned me back upstairs. Her eyes were closed and she looked really pale lying in bed. I felt sorry for her, her wrists must hurt and I expect she was upset at smashing one of her wedding presents.
‘Don’t think this lets you off the hook for getting in with the paper boy. It doesn’t.’
I groaned inwardly; even now, like this, she was going to give it to me. I sighed. Waiting.
‘Your father will hear about this behaviour, don’t doubt it. Just because I’m incapacitated for now doesn’t give you an excuse to run around with that lot behind my back.’
‘I’m not,’ I said, standing at the foot of her bed, miserable and fed-up. I was beginning to wish I’d let her bleed to death. I couldn’t believe I’d actually saved the bitch’s life. What was I thinking?
She didn’t look at me, but she smiled. ‘You did a bit of quick thinking this morning, just like when Jasper put the fork through his foot in the garden; you acted quickly then.’
‘Yes,’ I said and waited. She didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes and I thought she was asleep so moved to leave. ‘And when Jasper put the spade through the top of Sophia’s head that time, you were a good girl then, getting help for her so fast.’
‘Yes.’ Where was this going, I wondered uneasily.
‘Stop all this journalism and writing nonsense, you’re going to be a nurse,’ she said sounding really satisfied.
I nearly fell over. A nurse! What on earth was she on about? Me a nurse!
‘Your father and I had considered teaching for you but with the move and the school situation being what it is, nursing will be fine. We can sort you out when we come home from Germany. By that time you’ll be nineteen and ready for college, and the discipline from one of the teaching hospitals will do you good, you could live in. Sophia will be old enough to help me by then.’
I just stood with my mouth open. Speechless.
I really wanted to put the pillow over her face and shut her up, once and for all.
Bloody nursing? Teaching, for God’s sake?
What the hell was I doing this morning, helping her? I really should’ve let her bleed to bloody death.
‘Now get downstairs and sort those kids out and then you can start on the ironing. It won’t do itself.’
Shaking my head, giving her one long look, I trudged downstairs.
The back door slammed and Jasper arrived all muddy and red in the face.
‘Where have you been?’ I despaired looking at him. ‘Don’t go in the sitting room for goodness sakes, you’re all muddy.’
‘Been playing with your boyfriend and the group in the Rec,’ he said kicking his shoes off, aiming at the corner of the kitchen. ‘They’re going to Scotland today and Scott said he’ll come and say goodbye before they go. Wanted to know if Mum was on the war-path still.’
He ran himself a glass of cold water.
‘Oh grief, go back and tell him not to come round, she’ll go nuts.’ I grabbed his shoes and thrust them back at him, pointing to the door. ‘Now! Go!’
‘Keep your hair on, Sis, I’m hungry and anyway they’re down the Rec.’ He took an apple from the bowl, rubbed it on his shirt and took a huge bite.
‘Then get back down there and tell him Mum’s had an accident and I can’t see him even if she wasn’t on the war path, which she is.’
I started pushing the iron over the tenth white shirt, back and legs aching. I hated ironing, so many shorts, trousers, and blouses. The sheets were the worst, so big and heavy and trying to get them wrinkle free was a nightmare. Dad’s army uniform used to be torture – when he was in the army -getting all the creases right and the cuffs. I was so glad he didn’t have all that anymore.
‘Is she dead?’ Jasper screwed his face up as he asked me.
‘Who? Mum?’ I sprinkled water onto the handkerchief and placed it over the shirt collar. ‘No, more’s the pity,’ I mumbled under my breath.
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