MANTRUM

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MANTRUM Page 6

by Jacob Chance


  “You make it seem so simple, but when I’m in the moment, it feels huge. Like a mountain I can’t see a way around.”

  “Rex, I’m also outside the situation looking in. That always makes it easier to see clearly. There’s no emotion involved for me.” Her voice is a soothing balm to my angry soul.

  “I guess. I just wish I didn’t let small things get me so worked up.” I run a hand over my forehead to ease the pounding headache that’s taken up residence. It’s probably from my blood pressure being at a dangerously high level. I’m not getting any younger. The big four zero is fast approaching. My head will surely explode from my body one of these days. And no one who knows me will be surprised.

  “Isn’t that what you’re attending Teri’s anger management class for? You’re going to learn new ways to control your impulses.”

  “I guess.” Grabbing my keys from my pocket, I step outside and head for my truck.

  “Rex, you had the presence of mind to call me. You’re already thinking more clearly.” She’s right. A couple of weeks ago, I would’ve gone off on the guy. Who knows what his reaction would’ve been? Maybe we might have come to blows even.

  I slide onto the leather bench seat and slip the key in the ignition. “Thank you, Danika. Once again, you’ve helped me out. When are you going to call me, so I can return the favor?”

  “Rex, I’m just glad you find me helpful.”

  “You have no idea.”

  “If you’re all set, I need to get back to work.”

  “I am, and I can’t thank you enough.”

  “You don’t need to thank me at all. It’s what I’m here for. Relax and enjoy the rest of your day.”

  “Don’t worry, I will. I’m looking forward to seeing you later this week.” My chest feels lighter when I think about being in her presence.

  “Okay.” A smile teases my lips when she avoids responding in kind. “Bye,” she whispers, ending the call.

  Placing my phone down in the cup holder, I start my truck and grin goofily. It’s difficult to believe that five minutes ago, I was ready to pummel the electrician, and now my mood couldn’t be better, all thanks to speaking with Danika. I’m excited about the progress I’m making, but what will happen when the class is over? When I don’t have Danika to rely on anymore?

  There’s a simple solution to this problem. I need to put my powers of persuasion to work and convince her to go out with me. Then I won’t have to stop talking to her.

  “Adam’s been filling me in on what’s new with you.” My youngest brother, Larsen, smirks as I sit down at the high top table in one of our favorite pubs.

  I cast a glare Adam’s way. “I bet he has. I’m sure he recounted it with complete accuracy and plenty of enthusiasm.”

  Adam grins. “Of course I did. It’s a great story.”

  “Says you.”

  “I think it’s a great story too,” Larsen agrees.

  “I’m glad I can entertain you both.” I raise my hand, signaling the waitress, and order a beer for myself along with refills for my brothers. I nod at Larsen “How’s work been?”

  “Not bad. It pays the bills.” He works in the IT field and makes a boat load of money.

  “Dude, you more than pay the bills. Don’t whine to us. We’re busting our asses doing manual labor every day.”

  “Let me pull my tiny violin out and play you a song.” Larsen grins.

  “Fuck you. I’m with Rex on this one. I’m only thirty five and my back feels like I’m fifty some days.”

  “There are massage parlors for that,” Larsen mentions with a grin.

  “And you’d know all about that,” I state.

  “Hey, I don’t have firsthand knowledge since I’ve never been to one. I can get a happy ending without paying for it.”

  Adam barks out a laugh. “So can I, dude.”

  I tip my head toward Adam. “This guy doesn’t need any encouragement. He’s got a passel of broken hearted women stalking him already.”

  “I only had that one girl stalk me. The rest accepted that I really meant it when I said it was sex only.” The waitress places our beers down and removes my brothers’ empties.

  “Don’t forget, I’m having Ruby’s birthday party on Sunday afternoon. You both better be there.”

  “Are Mom and Dad coming?” Larsen inquires.

  “Yep.” I nod.

  “Oh shit. Everyone get ready for the ‘I thought I’d have more grandchildren by now’ lecture.” Larsen shudders and raises his beer for a deep pull.

  I chuckle. “I don’t get that from her since I’ve provided a grandchild.”

  “Can’t she be happy with the ones she has? Jack has Marshall and Maddie too,” Larsen mentions our oldest brother. “Three is a good number of grandchildren. Some people have none.”

  Adam sniggers. “I’ll let you pose that question to Mom. She’ll box your ears and reprimand you like a child.”

  “And then tell you how she should’ve had daughters,” I interject.

  Larsen points at me. “Yes. I hate when she says that.”

  “Right?” I slap my hand down on the table. “She doesn’t realize how easy she had it with us.”

  Adam grimaces. “I wouldn’t say we were easy to deal with as teenagers. We got into our fair share of scraps and trouble.”

  “Yeah, but emotionally we were simple,” I explain.

  “You’re simple for sure.” Larsen laughs, nudging me with his elbow.

  “How are you doing with the rage workshop?” Adam questions.

  I bark out a laugh. “Fuck you. It’s not a rage workshop.”

  “It’s Hulk smashers anonymous,” Adam continues.

  “Ha ha.”

  He juts his chin toward me. “Seriously, though, how’s it going?”

  “So far, so good.”

  “How’s Danika?” Adam studies me.

  “She’s good.” I keep my expression flat. I’m not in the mood for a ‘stay away from her’ lecture.

  “Who’s Danika?” Larsen questions.

  “That’s the officer who gave him the parking ticket and was the catalyst for everything that happened.”

  I rush to her defense. “That’s not fair. Nothing that happened was Danika’s fault.”

  Adam addresses Larsen. “Rex has a soft spot for her, if you can’t tell.”

  “So?” I question. “She’s a great girl. What’s not to like about her?”

  “I think he should avoid her as much as he can. She gets his blood pumping and that’s the last thing he needs.” Adam gives his unsolicited opinion.

  “Hey, asshole. I’m right here. And I’m older than both of you.”

  “Maybe you should act it,” Adam quips, and I want to punch him in the face. I really want to punch him in the face. My fists clench on my legs beneath the table as I envision his head snapping back from the force of my blow. Sliding from the stool, I head toward the back hallway without a word. Entering the men’s room, I pull my phone from my pocket and dial Danika’s number.

  “Hello.”

  “Danika,” I rasp.

  “Rex, what’s up?”

  “I’m out with my brothers and I just needed to hear your voice before I punched one of them in the kisser.”

  “What’s got you worked up?”

  “Adam, the brother I’m partners with, was offering his unwanted opinion about the anger management classes.”

  “Did you tell him he was upsetting you?”

  “I don’t think you understand how brothers are. If I said that, it would only make him have a go at me more.”

  “Oh. That’s not nice.”

  I laugh. “It’s not, but that’s brothers for you. I do it to him too.”

  “Then how do you get mad when you just admitted you’re guilty of the same?”

  “My anger isn’t always rational.”

  “Is it ever?” she teases.

  “Yeah, sometimes it is. Like with the electrician dude. He was fucking around on pur
pose and it was costing me valuable time. In my business, time equals money.”

  “Okay. I have a feeling if you really think about each instance when you’re fired up, you’ll find that a lot of them aren’t worth getting mad over. It’s probably a knee-jerk reaction and you let it happen. But it’s an energy suck that you don’t need.”

  I already realize she’s right. I have a habit of getting worked up over insignificant things. But the silver lining in the bad habit cloud is that with some effort and commitment, I can break them. “You might be onto something.”

  “Wow. Did you just admit I was right?”

  “In a manner of speaking.”

  She laughs. “I’ll take it as a positive sign. You really are trying to do better with your temper, aren’t you?”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I am, but it’s not as easy as you’d think.”

  “I’m sure it’s not. But you’re doing great. Keep building on the progress you’ve already made.”

  “That’s the plan.”

  “Do it for your daughter, if not for yourself.”

  “You know what the funny thing is?”

  “What?”

  “When Ruby is around, I can control my temper with no problem. She’s never seen me flip out or lose control.”

  “If you have such a great handle on your emotions in her company, then it shouldn’t be too hard for you to maintain control all the time.”

  “You’d think, but I’m not so sure. Maybe I need the release from holding it back so much.”

  “Well, I am sure. I bet by the end of Teri’s classes you’re like a changed man.”

  I rub the back of my hand under my chin. “I hope you’re right. And I bet you do too.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. There are worse things than dealing with talking to you.”

  “Is that your way of saying you like me?” I tease.

  “I wouldn’t go that far. Maybe tolerate is more accurate.” She giggles adorably, and I find myself smiling.

  “I’m going to let you get back to whatever it is you’re doing. Thank you for being my on-call therapist.”

  “No problem. But we need to renegotiate our contract. I’m being grossly underpaid.”

  I laugh. “You are. Maybe I can take you to dinner sometime to make up for this oversight.”

  “Oh… Uh…”

  “I’ll see you Thursday night.” I let her off the hook before she struggles more.

  “Sounds good. Bye.”

  Pushing my phone down into my pocket, I leave the men’s room with a smile on my face. Once again, Danika has come through for me. She has the magic touch when it comes to calming me. I like talking to her. She’s kind and caring. And her sense of humor is starting to show. I can tell she’s loosening up with me. She wants to dislike me, but she really doesn’t. I’m making progress all around, and it feels fantastic.

  Returning to my stool, I slide onto the wooden seat. Both of my brothers cast glances my way and then toward one another. Do they think I’m going to go off on them?

  I push past the awkwardness and speak the universal language for all the Winters men. “What do you say we get some appetizers? I’m starving.”

  9

  Danika

  My phone beeps with an incoming message from Rex. This is different. He’s never texted me before.

  Rex: Where are you right now? I have something for you.

  Should I tell him? As I consider whether I should or not, another text comes through.

  Rex: Stop overthinking this and just tell me where you are.

  I smile as I read his message. Is it that obvious that I like to think things through?

  Me: I’m on Exeter at the Newbury Street end.

  Rex: See you in ten.

  I can’t help but wonder what he has for me and why he went through the trouble. I know I helped him out a couple of times, but I only did as I was instructed. I don’t want or need him to pay me back in any way.

  “Hey, there,” Rex calls out, as he climbs from his double-parked truck.

  “Hi. How are you?” I ask, sweeping a glance his way as I finish printing out a ticket.

  He smiles when our eyes meet. “I’m great. Thanks for asking.” It’s hard to tear my eyes away from him. He looks so manly in his paint stained t-shirt, cargo shorts, and boots. There’s something about a man who works with his hands that I find extremely attractive.

  Forcing my attention back on my task, I place the paper under the wiper on the car I’m ticketing. Inhaling, I remind myself to breathe before I turn around to face Rex.

  “You know, I could ticket you for parking like that.” I smile, tipping my head toward his black truck.

  He continues forward, stopping when he’s in front of me on the sidewalk. “Hey.” He grins. “I left it running and have my hazards on. Besides, I won’t be long. I just need to deliver your drink. It’s pretty humid for early May, and I know how tough working outside in this weather can be.” He hands over a large Dunks cup filled with creamy iced coffee and a straw. The plastic is pleasantly cold against my palm. I’m tempted to rub it across my forehead.

  “Rex, thank you so much. This is so nice of you.”

  “You’re welcome. I was hoping you’re a coffee drinker.”

  “Are you kidding? I can’t get through my day without some caffeine assistance. And this is going to hit the spot.” I tear open the wrapper and punch the straw through the hole in the plastic cover. “I didn’t sleep well last night. When my alarm went off this morning I had to talk myself into getting up.”

  “I hope you like cream. And I have some sugar if you need it.” He pulls a stack of sugar packets from his pocket.

  “I love coffee with cream, it’s perfect just as it is. I don’t use sugar.”

  He nods, shoving the white packets into the side pocket on his cargo shorts. “That must be because you’re sweet enough already.”

  “Ha ha, you cornball. I think it has to do with the fact that my grandmother used to share her coffee with me when I was a young girl. She didn’t use sugar and I grew accustomed to the strong flavor.” Raising the straw to my lips, I suck down a long, frigid sip. “Mmm, this is delicious.”

  “I’m glad. My daughter, Ruby, loves coffee. We both drink a cup each morning with breakfast before I drop her off at school.”

  “I bet she enjoys starting her day with you.” I envision what he looks like in the early morning with his thick hair sexily disheveled. Is he a boxer or briefs man? The image I conjure up of him in boxer briefs, my personal favorite, has my stomach feeling like a hummingbird is fluttering around inside.

  “I don’t know if that’s true, but I definitely enjoy her company. I’m going to make the most of every moment I get with her because I know in less than four years she’ll be off to college and our morning coffee conversations will be over.”

  “Does she ever talk about where she wants to go to school?”

  “She has a cousin at Boston University and another one who is about to transfer there. I could see her following in their footsteps.”

  “At least that’s close to home. Where did you go to college?” I find myself curious.

  “I went to UMass Amherst, to the Isenberg School of Management.”

  “Impressive. I’ve heard it’s difficult to get into that program.”

  He shrugs. “I may not have always behaved myself, but I did get good grades. What about you? Where did you go?”

  “I went to the University of Vermont for criminal justice.”

  “UVM is quite the party school.”

  “And Umass isn’t?”

  “Hey, I didn’t say that was a bad thing.”

  I quirk a brow and study him. “I bet you did your share of partying.”

  He chuckles. “I won’t deny it. Man, those were some great times.”

  “I bet you won’t be telling any of those stories to Ruby.”

  “Uh, no. Not until she has children of her own.”

  So
meone honks as they drive by, gesturing to Rex’s illegally parked truck.

  “I’m going to get out of here before I end up fighting someone in your defense,” he jests.

  “That’s probably a good idea, before you get arrested.” I smile.

  “Don’t overdo it in this heat today. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

  “I won’t. Thanks again for my coffee.” I hold up the cup.

  He climbs inside his truck and he’s off with a quick wave. Watching until he disappears from my sight, I sip my frigid beverage. It’s soothing on my tongue and very much needed. I can’t believe he brought me an iced coffee. What a nice and unexpected gesture. The more time I spend with Rex Winters, the more intrigued I become.

  All day my stomach has been unsettled. I think it’s because I’m nervous about seeing Rex. Glancing down at my phone, I notice it’s almost time for our class to begin. A text from Roxanne comes in as I’m about to return my cell to my pocket.

  Roxanne: Sitting here with Violet and we’re wondering who won the bet?

  Me: Neither of you.

  Roxanne: What do you mean? How’s that possible?

  Me: He only called me twice. That means both of you overshot with your guesses. No one wins. Yay for me.

  I smile as I send my reply.

  “What or who’s got you looking so happy?” Rex questions, settling onto the chair next to mine.

  “Just one of my crazy friends.”

  “Friends are great. Especially crazy ones.”

  “Do you have crazy friends?”

  “No. I always seem to be the crazy friend.”

  “Oh jeez.”

  “I’m the guy that people say ‘you should meet my friend, so and so.’ And then they tell me he’s their craziest friend. I can only assume they think we’d be kindred spirits or something.” He shrugs. “The thing is, I was kind of wild in my youth, and I can admit that. But I’m not anymore, and I haven’t been since I became a dad. People have short memories unless you did something they deem wild or unsavory. Then they never seem to forget, no matter how much time passes.”

  “I was never a wild child.”

 

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