“Thank ye, Lady Anisette. Ye have been so helpful and I’ve greatly enjoyed our time together,” Arabella said, appreciative that she’d been able to come.
“It’s really been me pleasure, Arabella. And I will take ye up on yer offer. I’ll come visit Dunmore as soon as I am able. So long as the weather holds and I dinnae have any issues with me old bones, ye can bet I’ll be coming to see ye,” Lady Anisette replied. She grinned at the slight to her own body.
“Will ye be at any other events this week in society? I’ll be around and I should love to see ye again,” Arabella commented.
“I dinnae ken. But if there is anything, ye can be sure I’ll come. And if ye need time away from that old laird and his brother, please ken that ye’re welcome to come visit me any time. Ye have an open invitation from me whilst ye’re in Edinburgh,” Lady Anisette offered.
“Ye’re too kind. I should love to visit ye again if I’m able,” Arabella replied.
“And thank ye for giving me a chance to talk about me daughter again. I havnae spoken about Jeanne for such a long time,” Lady Anisette added.
The coachman was trying to usher Arabella toward the coach as the rain was beginning to fall, but Arabella felt her jaw as her mouth opened. Jeanne. She knew that name. She had heard it only just that morning before coming.
Arabella felt quite certain that Jeanne had been the very name that Francis had used when speaking about his mother.
The rain began to pour and before Arabella could open her mouth again, the coachman rushed her.
“Lass, we’ve got to be on our way or we’ll be wheels deep in mud,” he insisted. Arabella looked to Lady Anisette and then turned and headed for the coach.
Chapter 17
A Man’s Demands And A Woman’s Frustrations
“Where is she?” Francis demanded, staring out the window and into the rain. The weather had taken an awful turn from the beautiful morning.
He was sitting in his room, alone, and worried sick about Arabella. She had left in such a rush that day, just before lunch, and he didn’t understand why she hadn’t told him anything.
Laurie was nowhere to be found either. He hoped deeply that the two had gone together and that Arabella was safe, but there was nothing to give him such certainty.
Arabella hadn’t told him where she was going or who she would be with. She hadn’t mentioned when she would return. With all the Hanoverian activity going on in the city, this was not the time to be running off and away.
Francis felt he had truly made a mistake in telling her that she would have to act as his maid if anyone came questioning. It seemed that it had only caused her to pull away from him. Then again, she had come to him the night before to check on him. She had been willing to walk with him that morning. So perhaps she thought no ill of him at all anymore.
The way that Arabella had comforted him that morning when talking about his mother left him full of gratitude. She had been compassionate and unwilling simply to accept the explanation that Francis’ mother was what his uncle had claimed her to be.
None of that explained where she was at now though. None of it told him when she would return or if she was safe or if she had been caught in the rain or worse. And as long as he stood staring out the window with no sign of her, the more anxious Francis grew.
He made his way down the stairs to find any servant he could to ask about her destination. When he found one of the coachmen, he began to demand answers.
“Where did the Lady Arabella go?” he asked harshly.
The coachman looked at him with mild irritation for being spoken to so rudely, but also remained aware of his place and knew that someone in a position like Francis’ could speak however he wished.
Francis ignored the look even though he read it clearly.
“I am afraid I dinnae ken. She went with one of the other coachmen. Ye ken yer faither has hired a few of us for this season as he kenned there would be a great deal of activity and more people in the townhouse than are typical,” the coachman replied.
“But surely ye ken where she went and with whom,” Francis replied insistently.
“No, I dinnae. As I said, I was not the one with whom she went,” the man replied flatly. Despite the evenness of his external temper, the coachman was evidently trying to suppress his actual annoyance at this indignity.
“Well then who did she go with? Is he back?” Francis demanded again.
“Please, sir. I dinnae ken anything about it. We dinnae report to one another the comings and goings. I took yer faither out this morning and we only just returned. Beyond that, I ken nothing about the lass ye want to ken about,” the coachman replied again.
“Then what good are you?” Francis spat angrily.
He felt himself getting caught up in a rage again and knew that it was of no use. He was constantly angry and that had gotten him into enough trouble lately. He looked back at the coachman, inhaled deeply, and opened his mouth.
“I do apologize for me raging,” he said evenly.
The coachman nodded curtly. “Alright, sir.”
Francis then moved on, looking for the other coachman he had seen that day, knowing that the laird currently had three under his employ.
The second coachman received the same treatment as the first, but before he could get to the apology part, Francis noticed that the other coach was finally coming up to the house.
The coach was covered in mud from the journey, but he was utterly relieved to see that they were arriving. Before the coachman had even stopped, Francis was outside in the rain yelling at him.
“What are ye doing? Ye waited until the rain was this bad before ye came back? Are ye mad? Why didnae ye come sooner? Where did ye go? Ye have the Lady Arabella with ye, dinnae ye?” he demanded in a string of shouted questions. Francis could not calm himself no matter how hard he tried.
The coachman of this third transport looked down at Francis as if he were mad. Francis felt shame bloom on his face for acting in such a way, but it seemed to be his normal behavior of late. It was difficult for him to stop himself when he was so angry all the time.
“I asked ye questions!” he shouted over the howling wind.
“The lass is in the coach. What’s the problem? She went to visit a new friend is all. I wasnae commanded to refuse her, so I took her when she asked. I didnae ken there’d be a problem,” the coachman responded, as offended as the first two had been.
“Oh ye dinnae have any idea how to do yer job, do ye?” Francis insulted.
“I’ve a good deal of an idea. And it requires me taking lasses to the places they ask. She had her chaperone with her, so I dinnae understand what the problem is. No one told me anything against it,” the man said again, defending himself.
No matter how senseless the rage was, Francis could not suppress it. He was angry that Arabella had been missing, angry that the coachmen were not taking him seriously. Above all, he just wanted to see her step out and prove that she was safe.
“Lady Arabella!” he called fiercely, the wind still whipping around him.
Finally, the coachman got around to the door and opened it with a very confused Arabella stepping out into the chaos of the air.
“What is it?” she asked, deeply concerned that something horrible must have happened.
“What were ye thinking, rushing off like that? Do ye have any idea at all how worried I’ve been? Are ye mad?” he demanded.
Francis was deeply relieved to see Arabella. Aside from the wind pulling on her hair, she seemed perfectly fine, untouched and unharmed. Francis felt his heart begin to calm, knowing that everything was fine with her and he had been unreasonable to worry as much as he had.
Yet he was still angry that she had left him to worry so much. It had been careless of her to not let him know where she would be or how long she would be gone. After all, he had invited her on this trip. And here she was, running off with other people and not even telling him who.
He had been suppressi
ng the concern that it could have been a gentleman from the party the night before. Or, again, if she had fallen prey to the hands of Hanoverians. That concern seemed to be ever present in his mind.
Here she was, perfectly fine, and looking fiercely annoyed at him for his overreaction.
“Are ye having a laugh?” she asked brazenly.
“A laugh? I’ve been worried sick about ye for three or more hours,” he replied.
“Wow…” she said sarcastically. “I never imagined ye would respond like this for something so small.” Arabella walked past him, heading into the townhouse.
“Lady Arabella!” he demanded.
“I’m tired. I’m going to bed,” she replied over her shoulder, without looking back at Francis.
“Tired? What did ye do to make ye so tired this early in the day?” he called after her.
Arabella did not reply. It was nearly dinner time and when Francis joined his faither, uncle, and a few others, Arabella did not come. He realized that she really must have gone to bed, avoiding him for all that had happened.
He wondered if he should go to her room, try to explain that he had just been worried. Francis was coming to know Arabella better than that. He was also coming to know himself. His rages were becoming more frequent than he was comfortable with.
No matter the hurts he felt inside, and no matter how he tried to justify them, it wasn’t fair to put Arabella through all of this continually. He was now incredibly concerned that he was pushing her away when all he really wanted was to bring her close.
“Lad, what’s the problem?” his uncle asked at dinner.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just not overly hungry,” Francis replied, realizing he had spent half an hour picking at his plate rather than eating the food on it.
“Ye’re always so moody lately. We cannae be having that in a laird,” his faither said, trying to be encouraging but only bringing his shame back to the surface.
“Just like his mum, isnae he?” his uncle teased, causing another wave of tension to come into the room. Francis looked at his faither, but the laird did not respond to the eye contact. It was as if nothing had been said at all.
He had hoped that Arabella would help him feel more confident that his mother had not done when his uncle accused her of, but now that he had pushed her away with his worry, he wondered if she would ever even speak to him again.
Had he ruined everything? Had he lost his opportunity to not only be with Arabella, but also to find out the truth about his mother with the only other person he had trusted with the rumor? Had he made a mess of things that could not be undone?
Francis found the second and third coachmen and apologized to them as he had to the first. They didn’t seem overly responsive, but he also knew that it would be the first time they had ever had a master ask forgiveness. After all, they were mere service people. The world was not overly kind to them.
It seemed, however, that all of Francis’ time was spent asking forgiveness for his outbursts. He didn’t want to be like that anymore. Nevertheless, he felt that he would always feel like that so long as his uncle was around.
“Laurie,” Francis said, seeing the chaperone in the hallway.
“Aye?” she asked, surprised that he would speak with her.
“Might I ask about yer mistress?” he began.
“What about her?” Laurie wondered.
“Well, I wanted to make sure that she was safe this afternoon. I ken that she’s upset with me for having been so concerned, but please ken that I would never have been so outraged were it not for the presence of so many Hanoverians here,” he said, knowing it was only partially true.
“Me lady is just fine,” Laurie replied, ready to continue on her way to wherever it was she was heading.
“But Laurie,” he continued. “Where did she go? It was not to some…not some gentleman from last evening, was it? She was not invited over to any man’s home?” Francis asked, aware that he was sounding slightly obsessive.
Laurie looked at him cautiously, uncertain what she should say. “Me lady went to the home of another lady, sir. She was a wealthy widow. I dinnae ken anything more about it. But ye ought to allow me lady to rest, sir,” Laurie instructed him.
Francis nodded, swallowing hard. He would have to accept that this was the best answer he would receive.
Wherever Arabella had gone that afternoon, clearly she was safe. He had been wrong to react so harshly and be so overprotective.
There was something about Arabella that made him want to see her safe. He only had to learn the best way to watch over her without allowing himself to behave so terribly.
Chapter 18
A Desire To Clear The Air
“But I should always like to have two puddings if I can,” laughed Alexandra McLennon.
Arabella laughed with her, knowing how deprived young women were of the sweet treats they so enjoyed. Their society demanded that they remain slim until wed, but it didn’t stop them from sneaking sweets whenever they had the opportunity.
“Still, I cannae believe she did that,” Arabella replied.
It was fragile gossip. Alexandra wasn’t the sort to talk about others overly much, but it seemed that there was little else for them to do just now.
Arabella was glad to see Alexandra. Their faithers had been good friends before Arabella’s went off and away. They were still acquaintances, but Arabella and Alexandra had not seen one another for quite some time and it was good being able to catch up with one another.
Their clans were allies and that unity was something Arabella needed reminded of just now.
Despite her enjoyment of the company and conversation, Arabella found herself becoming restless and impatient. She continued to smile and nod through the conversation, thankful for the time to spend with an old friend since she had, earlier, made a new. It didn’t change the fact that deep down, she wanted to be with Francis, figuring out exactly what was going on with his mood now.
“Did ye hear about the Celeidh next weekend?” Alexandra asked.
“No, is it going to be awfully grand?” Arabella asked.
“That’s what everyone’s saying. It’s going to happen right under the noses of those horrid men who’ve taken over the castle. No Hanoverians are allowed. But of course, they cannae go around saying that, so I’m guessing they are just trying to make sure only we get to learn of it,” Alexandra explained.
“Well, sadly, I dinnae think I’ll still be here then,” Arabella replied, aware that she was probably only going to be around for a few more days. Of course, if Francis continued behaving so erratically, she might even find herself leaving sooner than that.
“Oh that’s too bad. I’m sure it will be a grand time and ye never ken who ye might meet. There are so many men here in Edinburgh. It’s so much better than Celeidhs in the countryside,” Alexandra said dreamily.
Arabella thought it sounded nice, but she still couldn’t help her distraction. She wanted to go for a walk and have some time to herself so she could think about everything that had happened in the last few days and process what she wanted to do moving forward.
“Ye ken, I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling all that well,” she finally said to Alexandra.
“Oh no, are ye alright?” Alexandra asked.
“Aye, just a wee headache. I’m sure I’ll be fine in no time,” Arabella replied.
“Well then ye had best go and get a bit of rest. I dinnae want ye feeling any worse,” Alexandra said, concerned for her friend.
Arabella felt guilty for letting Alexandra worry about her, but she knew that it was best for herself. “Thank ye,” she said, taking her leave.
Arabella walked upstairs. She needed to stay near her room in case Alexandra saw her around. She didn’t wish to be caught in her lie. However, she couldn’t force herself to stay in her room again. She would go mad in there.
So Arabella paced about the hallway and went into the study. She thought about everything she wanted to ta
lk to Francis about so that when she had the chance, she could ask him. She realized that he was simply worried about her and she had overreacted just as he had.
Arabella was unaccustomed to having a man think he was able to instruct her and order her about. It was not okay for Francis to do that. At the same time, she knew that she could have explained herself, or at least given him the chance to explain his own side of things. He was worried for her and it was something she ought to appreciate. It was a sign that he cared.
She also considered some of the questions she had regarding his mother after her time with Lady Anisette. She knew that his mother was named Jeanne and that she had died. These things were also true of Lady Anisette’s daughter. Was it possible that it was the same woman?
Arabella finally decided that she would find Francis and talk to him about everything, or at least clear the air between them. She would have to try and go unseen and not be caught in her lie of illness, but as she exited the study and made her way into the hall, she was stunned to see that Francis was there, standing just outside her door with his hand raised to knock.
“Lady Arabella,” he said in surprise, lowering his hand.
“Can I help ye?” she asked him, still surprised to see him standing there.
“I-I was just coming to see ye,” he said.
“And I was on me own way to find ye,” Arabella replied.
Francis looked at her with equal surprise. He had not expected that she would wish to speak with him. Or so his face told her. Arabella was relieved to hear that it was not only her who wished for them to have a chat about everything that had occurred that day.
“Right, so there we are,” Francis said with his awkward smile.
“Would ye like to have a seat?” Arabella offered and Francis nodded. They moved into the study where they sat on the couch beside one another.
Arabella felt her heart race at being so close to Francis. She wondered if he would think ill of her for being so willing to be alone with him without Laurie present as a chaperone, but she also knew that this was not the sort of conversation for them to have with others around.
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