by H P Tune
Juliet rolled her eyes at the last one. “Oh yeah, made for every man’s enjoyment. So definitely my choice.”
Shuddering, Mia nodded. “Makes me nauseated…”
“Tell me about it. Nah, my choice would be maybe something that doesn’t require much thinking. Not a drama. Our lives are dramatic enough. Oh, sorry, you probably have things you want to be doing rather than watching movies with me.”
“Nah-ah. I’m settling in for the morning. Then I might do something productive, like start collecting forms for you to fill out to get your cards replaced. But this morning, I’m taking up at least a little of this sofa.”
“Well, I don’t mind then. Why don’t you choose? I trust your tastes.”
“Really?” Mia’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “No one ever says that to me. I could be obsessed with supernatural thrillers or something.”
“Are you?”
“No,” Mia said quickly, “not at all. How about something upbeat, a musical? You can hear me sing along.” She started humming a tune Juliet immediately recognized.
“Oh now that sounds like something I’d like to experience!” she said. “We’re watching Mamma Mia, aren’t we?”
“How did you guess?” Mia asked innocently.
“That’s ‘Dancing Queen’ you’re humming—don’t deny it.” Juliet chuckled. “I’m a fan from way back. But go ahead and bring it, even if I’m going to have ABBA songs in my head for a week.” Mia grinned as she found the DVD on her shelves and put it into the player. As she did, she sang loudly with her back to Juliet, swaying her hips and shoulders, releasing the most incredible voice.
Juliet watched in admiration, fishing out two capsules from her pocket and dropping them into the small amount of yogurt in her plate. Mia was still singing as the menu screen appeared.
Juliet had met a lot of amazing people in her travels, most of whom she learned something from—practical advice or important life lessons. But Mia…Mia was something entirely different.
* * *
Juliet could hardly believe that two days passed quickly and in much the same way, the two of them watching movies and reading books and quietly talking and getting to know more and more about each other’s lives. Or not so quietly sometimes, as Mia would encourage Juliet into debates about current policy decisions and petitions for law reforms back home. They had started to move around each other with familiarity.
The third morning was no exception. Juliet made her way into the kitchen, her wide-leg flannelette pyjama pants and a plain, long-sleeved top slightly askew. She pulled the milk from the fridge and two cups from the cupboard and stood back watching as Mia poured their coffee.
“Morning,” Juliet murmured, her voice husky with sleep.
“Oh, she speaks pre-coffee this morning.”
“Mean.” Juliet slid onto a stool and took a mouthful of the deliciously bitter liquid.
“Better?”
“Much.” Juliet rubbed a little at her eye, now opening almost as wide as the other with the swelling going down. “How did you sleep?”
“Okay I think. You?” Mia opened the freezer and withdrew two apple-and-cinnamon muffins, placing them in the microwave. She pressed a few digits, and the appliance hummed to life.
Juliet nodded. “Good, I can finally move my head without it hurting, which is a big help for sleeping.”
“Your eye is looking better today,” Mia said, leaning across the bench and placing her fingers under Juliet’s chin. She tugged slightly, drawing Juliet’s face towards her, examining the faded purple and yellow skin. “Is your vision okay?”
“Ah-huh, I can see peripherally, which is also a big bonus. Maybe I won’t walk into furniture now.”
Mia smiled, using her thumb to move the area slightly under Juliet’s eye, checking the sclera for specks of blood. She pressed at the side of Juliet’s nose and nodded when Juliet didn’t react, other than her eyes tracking Mia’s hand movements. “Heaps better,” Mia confirmed.
“You playing doctor?”
Laughing, Mia nodded. “I’ll have you know, I was pre-med at Harvard, so not such a stretch.”
“What?” Juliet gasped, swiping at Mia’s wrist and gripping it. “You were what?”
“Yep. Did pre-med and went straight into their med school afterwards.”
“And you dropped out?” Juliet asked, shocked. “No one drops out of Harvard.”
“Not exactly.”
“Really? What did you do? Oooo, tell me you slept with a professor?”
Mia shook her head with what looked like a rueful smile. “No, though there was the hottest anatomy professor with legs that literally went on forever. She was hot. I definitely would have slept with her.”
“Mmm, Juliet murmured, cocking her head to the side as if processing a delightful mental image. She grinned and waved a hand in front of her. “So what happened?”
Drawing her hand away from Juliet’s grasp, Mia took a sip of her coffee. “It wasn’t so much my choice.”
Juliet blinked once and stared at her, waiting for more.
“Being a doctor,” Mia said. “Not quite the life my parents had mapped out for me.”
“Are you kidding? What parent wouldn’t want their child to be a successful doctor?” She paused. “So, what happened?”
“Oh, they just refused to pay my tuition and threatened to cut me off. They had a plan for me, and that wasn’t it, not even close.”
“I don’t get it. They pay for you to do pre-med and then just…”
“Yeah, kind of. I was expected to go to college. It filled in some of the time between high school and everything else. My father’s executive assistant even filled out all my college applications for me. I just had to write the admissions essays and sign off on them.”
“I was to be smart but not too smart, mature but not too mature, have some life experience, but not too much. You get the idea. I chose to do pre-med. They would have preferred maybe history studies or some sort of English literature degree, even creative arts. And when I didn’t, they were kind of okay with it, but then I just got almost too good.”
“Too good?”
“Yeah,” Mia said, exhaling loudly. “I was in the top ten per cent, walked straight into the med school program with no problems. My undergraduate advisor saw I was smart enough but absolutely hopeless with the paperwork, so she helped me fill out all the med school application forms. I didn’t even involve my parents. She told me where and when the exams were, everything. Pathetic, really, looking back. If I was more invested, more motivated, I might have found a way to make it all work.
“But once I was in med school, I was living my life, forming my own opinions, and starting to not want what my parents had planned for me. They slowly realized that. So they withdrew their support, made sure I didn’t have much of a choice.”
“Shit,” Juliet muttered, shaking her head. “You couldn’t have transferred? Gone to a different school and worked?”
Mia laughed, turning back to wait as the microwave ticked down the last few seconds. “In theory, I suppose, but that’s not so easy when your reputation precedes you. Not to mention, I was raised to think that my father was godlike. He wanted me to fear him. It gave him power. My father would have blocked any college application just by sending an email to his colleagues, the boys’ club, calling in a favour. I can only imagine the stories he told about me—his out of control, feminist daughter. They all would have worried that their own daughters could turn out like me. And how could I have done it on my own? Where would I work? I was a spoiled kid who hadn’t ever even made a bed or a meal. What was I meant to do? People have no idea the power he holds.”
“So what was their idea?” Juliet asked as she took a warm muffin from Mia. She broke a piece off straightaway, dropping it in her mouth and relishing the fact that she could now chew without issue. “That you would get married, be a trophy wife and pop out some kids?”
Mia stood very still. “Yes, that’s exactl
y what they wanted. And look, it’s easier now to look back and wonder why I didn’t apply for financial aid or a huge student loan, but I just didn’t know. I was book smart, but I wasn’t life smart. I thought that money in a bank was the only path possible.”
Juliet blinked, mouth slightly ajar. She licked her lips and closed her mouth before opening it again. After three times of repeating the same process, Mia laughed.
“Sorry,” Juliet said.
“Don’t be. Do it a few more thousand times and you might be where I am when I look back at that nice stage of my life.”
“So you did what your parents wanted?”
“I did.” Mia turned her back and hoisted herself to sit up on the countertop, resting against the wall, a large round analogue clock above her head. “I married the guy. They had him set up for me from before I was in elementary school. We both knew it too.”
“But you…”
“My parents didn’t know back then, and I’ve never talked to them explicitly about my sexuality. Why would it have even occurred to them? It’s against their religion, their beliefs. It’s all very ‘under wraps’ in their world. My father’s business partner has a wife, and they both have mistresses. No one cares about what happens behind the scenes, just keep up the fucking façade.”
Juliet shook her head incredulously. “What about your sister? Daniela? She knew.”
“I don’t think she believed it was real at first, just a one-time youthful experimentation. My sister thinks I should have spent my life with my mouth shut and played the part. She cares only about her image and little else these days.”
“Shit, Mia. I had no idea.”
“Nothing like having some baggage, huh?”
“Oh, honey, we’ve all got baggage. Craploads, most of us. So what happened in the end? You’re obviously here alone, no rings…” Juliet’s index finger grazed over the place where a diamond would sit.
“Divorced.” Mia cast her eyes to the ceiling with a sigh. “Yet another way I’ve brought the family into disrepute. But at least I had a good lawyer and a financial settlement.”
“I can imagine they were impressed.”
“Another understatement. It’s like a cult, and I’ve been excommunicated. Apparently, there’s some story that I’ve gone mad, but it’s as if I no longer exist. I hear nothing from them.”
“Delightful people. Really nice. Sorry, I know they’re your family, and I’m probably not supposed to say what I think, but fuck, that’s just disgusting behaviour.”
“Yeah.” Mia offered her a sad smile. “I can do what I want now, though, right? Silver lining and all.”
“You can, absolutely. You can make decisions that are only about you, no one else. Just you.”
Mia rubbed her hands over her thighs and leant forward. “Speaking of,” she said after a small silence, “do you feel up to going out for a while today?”
“Umm, yeah. Where to?” Juliet couldn’t quite keep up with the sudden change in the conversation. One thing she was learning about Mia was that she would always share only what she was willing to and at a time when she felt comfortable.
“I just thought we could go into town and pick up a few things. We need to let the post office know about your replacement cards and stuff coming through, since they’ll be registered mail. And we need some food. Martin’s back the day after tomorrow, but Janet arrives still a few days after that, I think. I don’t know. She sent me an e-mail to check on me.”
“Okay, I definitely feel up to it. I just…Well, I still look pretty awesome.”
“Who cares? We’ll just ignore anyone staring. Besides, I want to take you out to lunch.”
“Out to lunch?”
“Yep, you know that meal in the middle of the day? That’s lunch. We can sit down, order, have a wine. What do you think?”
“Sounds great, Mia. I probably can’t wear my pyjamas, though, hey?”
Peering over the side of the bench, Mia laughed. “Well, I like them. How you managed to find pyjamas for adults with ducks on them is beyond me, but I think they’re very cute.”
Juliet rolled her eyes, tipping the mug to her lips and drawing out the last drops of coffee. “Cute is exactly what I’m going for in bed. Just let me shower, and I’ll be right out, okay?”
“Take your time.”
Juliet grinned at her and then slowly walked down the hall with her coffee.
CHAPTER 10
They would be delusional to think that the day was warm, but it was warmer, and just a few degrees made the difference between walking along the street and driving the few hundred yards. It wasn’t snowing or raining, and the sun would at times peek out behind white clouds, just not quite regularly enough to earn the use of sunglasses.
Mia found the hour-long drive to town enjoyable. The roads were dry, and there was only the occasional car to wave at. The snow-covered mountains looked particularly spectacular when the sun reflected a glistening white layer. Juliet had murmured at one point that the view alone was healing, which earned an eager nod from Mia.
Throughout the drive, Mia had talked a little more about her family, and the relationship she no longer had with them. She still felt betrayed, and especially now as she started to talk about it, she couldn’t believe that people could just walk away from their children, the very people they’re meant to love unconditionally. In an academic or rational sense, Mia understood people making the choice to be someone who others perceive as important rather than actually be someone of importance. But emotionally, that choice no longer made sense to her. It was becoming so clear to her that she was no longer interested in the disguise that everyone wore. She wanted to know what was underneath. Who someone was suddenly meant more than what they were.
And Juliet did more than pique her interest. She had to read between the lines with Juliet. It wasn’t as simple as just listening to her words, which were right now about her mother and generally flowing in a relatively carefree manner. But there was something more in what she wasn't saying. She spoke about relationships as if they were necessarily by definition filled with heartache and tragedy, but then she also seemed envious of the concept of marriage, or at least willing to be open to that kind of risky connection. It was as if her head and heart were constantly in battle, more so than in most people, and Mia found herself gathering questions that she was waiting for the right time to ask.
“Kansas,” Juliet said, apropos of nothing in the middle of the journey. “My mother lives in Kansas.”
Mia turned to glance at Juliet, who had turned slightly to face the side window. The occasional house or property they had seen along the drive was now replaced with shop fronts as they drove into a park. “Oh,” Mia said, “I didn’t realise. I mean, the way you were talking, I thought maybe she had died.”
“Sometimes I think that would be easier.”
“Than your mom being alive?”
Juliet shrugged. “Sounds awful, I know.”
Mia didn’t respond straightaway, but she shook her head. It didn’t sound awful, and it fit with Juliet’s book, but then it didn’t: the story ended with the character having never made peace with her mother for the things she should have done, the things she should have taught her daughter. Mia couldn’t conceptualise why Juliet talked with such sadness and loss when her mother was so accessible.
She put the car into park and shut it off. “I guess it’s complicated.”
“It wasn’t always like that,” Juliet said, and Mia wondered if she was concerned that Mia was judging her. As they got out of the car, Juliet kept her chin dipped, face towards her feet.
“You don’t have to explain, really.” There was no reason for Mia to think that Juliet wouldn’t tell her when she was ready. It wasn’t easy to trust, and Mia hoped that as she shared more of her life, Juliet would do the same. Trust was something that was earned over time, and it shouldn’t just be handed over, Mia thought. It was no wonder people got hurt by other people if they threw their trust
around like it was a cheap baseball.
Mia wasn’t quite sure where the baseball analogy came from; she didn’t even like baseball. She squinted her left eye and raised her right eyebrow and could feel the smile on her face when Juliet asked, “Do I even want to know what you’re thinking about?”
“Whoops,” Mia said, chuckling. “I was just ranting about baseball in my head.”
“Baseball?”
“I know, hence the laugh. I don’t even like baseball. Don’t worry, just cracking myself up. I’m that sad.” Mia led Juliet to a post office and pushed her key into a post box. She withdrew a pile of envelopes and placed them in her bag. “You’re not too cold?”
“Nope,” Juliet said, shaking her head. “It’s not exactly super warm, but I’m not ready to sit on a fire either.”
Happy to see Juliet’s gaze rising up to meet hers, Mia nodded. “Well, down the end of this road is a pretty good pub, or we can get back in the car and drive to the next town, which is maybe twenty miles away. There’s a funky café there.”
“I don’t mind,” Juliet said, shrugging. And she didn’t seem fazed either way; she seemed more confronted by the stares that had fixed upon her, random strangers that couldn’t draw their eyes away from her visible bruises.
“Ahhh,” Mia hesitated, drawing the sound out as she looked along the road and at their surrounds. There were a number of people about, the clear weather having drawn everyone from their homes for supplies and top-ups and a change of scenery. “If you’re okay with it, how about we walk down to the end and have a look? If you think it’s okay, than we can go in and have a late lunch. Otherwise, we’ll wander back and go for a drive. Sound like a plan?”
“Sure,” Juliet agreed, smiling as she looked down at the sidewalk, not meeting anyone’s gaze on the street. They walked slowly and carefully, Juliet on the cemented path and Mia stepping onto the grass whenever the path narrowed or a tree branch intruded upon their space. After a few hundred yards and a number of gasps and muttered observations from strangers, Juliet shook her head.
