by S. C. Adams
He takes me up in his arms and kisses the back of my neck, sending chills down my spine again. I nuzzle against his sturdy frame as he holds me closely. The soothing aroma of lavender and chamomile swirl in the air and completely calm me. I could fall asleep like this in his arms. I turn toward him and kiss the center of his chest. He moves my hair out of my face, and I can see clearly into his eyes like a cloudless sky.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he says as he caresses my cheek with the back of his burly hand. His words make my heart melt; I even choke up a little bit. How did I end up getting so lucky? Mason’s the perfect man, inside and out. He caters to my needs and makes me feel like I’m unstoppable. When I’m with him, it’s like I’m on top of the world, and I love every second of it.
“And you’re the sweetest man I know,” I say with twinkling eyes. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Your love for me amazes me every day. You’ve made this the best summer ever.” It sucks that I have to leave him in less than a week. Manhattan is two and a half hours away from Sunnyside. With that kind of distance, we won’t be able to see each other every day anymore. I don’t think I can function without him. Getting through this school year is going to be hell.
Most of my friends are excited to return back to their dorm rooms, but I dread the thought of stepping foot back my campus. I don’t want to go if I can’t take Mason with me. I’ll never make it without him. I try not to think about the fact that we’ll be what seems like light years away from each other. Instead, I try to enjoy just being cradled in his arms right now.
“You’ve changed my life, Tessa, and made old things seem new again. You are the breath of fresh air that I needed. It’s going to be hard being so far away from you, but I know we can make this relationship work,” he says with confidence. I want to believe him, but since we started our love affair, we haven’t spent a day apart yet. My body will go weak and a cloud of sadness will hover over me until I can be with him again.
“I hope you’re right,” I say as I burrow my face in his chest.
“Trust me, no matter how far away you are, my love for you will never change,” he promises. My doubts slip away, and I allow myself to believe his words.
“Okay. I trust you,” I say. His lips brush against my forehead, and I feel safe lying here with him. Somehow, we made it the whole summer without anyone finding out about our hidden relationship. There were a few close calls, but we were able to keep things under wraps.
I ended up telling Nicole that I’ve been secretly crushing on and having sex with our town’s beloved Coach Mason. At first she thought I was joking, but once she realized I wasn’t laughing, my bosom buddy went into a state of shock which rapidly shifted into acceptance. She even covered for me a few times when I wanted to sneak over to Mason’s place by telling my parents that I was sleeping over at her house. Having her to talk to about everything is a major weight off of my shoulders. I felt ten pounds lighter once I finally shared the truth with her. Like I imagined, the former cheerleader has been nothing but supportive of my relationship. It’s really great to have her to count on, and I’ll miss both her and Mason like crazy when I head back to the city.
I close my eyes and block out all of these bad thoughts as I try to focus only on the here and now. Mason’s cologne permeates the room, and I bask in the wonderful scent. No matter what happens from here on out, at least I’ll always have this summer in my memories. I’m scared to leave him behind, but he promises that everything will be alright. He has never broken his word to me before, so I have to trust him. I listen to his beating chest and fall asleep to the rhythmic drum of his heart.
19
Tessa
Mason ties an apron around his waist, and I can’t help but stare at his cute butt underneath the straps. I watch from his kitchen nook as he pulls ingredients out of the fridge and pantry. He’s been cooking for me every night since our first trip to his beach house a couple of months ago, and I must say, he’s gotten better with time.
These past few months have been a dream, but tomorrow, I wake up and head back to Trinity. I can’t believe time has flown by so quickly. It seems like just yesterday I bumped into the softball coach at Barroom Burger. That date with Bobby was the worst date I have ever been on in my life, but if I’d never agreed to meet up with the handsy teenage boy, I wouldn’t have gotten the opportunity to see Mason. That night changed everything, so I can’t really complain.
My parents decided to host a goodbye dinner for me earlier, and they invited all of my friends. I feel bad that I didn’t really eat much at the soiree my mom and dad threw me, but I wanted to save enough space in my belly for one last dinner with Mason before my mother packs up her SUV and takes me back to New York City.
After my going away dinner, I had Nicole drop me off here at his house. I was so excited to see him that I jumped into his arms and started ripping his clothes off. I had to have him right there in that moment. We made love on his living room coach until we both climaxed. Our bodies lay entangled within one another until he heard my stomach growl, and that’s when he jumped up to cook me a nice hot meal.
He spoils me with love and affection and tends to my every need, leaving me wanting for nothing. I thought men like him only existed in fairytales. Every day, I fall deeper and deeper in love with this man, and I can’t imagine my life without him. I want to marry him and raise children with him right here in Sunnyside.
I’ve had tomorrow’s date marked on my calendar for months now, but the closer that day gets, the harder it becomes to say goodbye. Now it’s knocking on my door, and I don’t want to let it in. I’ve started a life here with Mason, and I can’t just walk away from it all. Maybe he was right – I should’ve told my parents sooner. If I had, they couldn’t make me go back to college. If they’d tried, I could’ve just moved in with Mason, but then my folks would have hated him for sure.
I was hoping this summer would never end. I got used to sneaking out of my house and creeping into Mason’s through the back door. I gained a couple of pounds from his home-cooked meals, but he still tells me I’m beautiful every single day. And I can’t even begin to imagine going a whole year without feeling his touch. Oh my gosh, I think I’ll lose my mind. There are so many things I’m going to have to give up and go without. How am I going to get through all of this without him by my side to cheer me on? I fake a smile as he places my dinner in front of me, but of course, he can tell that something is up.
“What’s wrong?” he asks. I don’t want to tell him the truth because I don’t want to ruin the mood. We just had hot, passionate sex, and now we’re having dinner together. I can’t bring up the fact that I’m leaving and shift the mood from intimate to melancholy.
“Nothing,” I lie, but he can see right through my disguise. I can’t hide anything from this man. He stares at me intensely as he reads me from front to back. I might as well give up; he’s going to figure it out sooner or later. “I’m just sad because I’m leaving tomorrow. It’s no big deal,” I say as I dig into the scrumptious plate.
He takes a deep breath as he searches for the right words to say, but I think even he is stumped right now. He reaches across the table and grabs my hand.
“We’ll get through this,” he says. I want to believe him, but I’m standing on shaky ground right now. This is the last night I’ll get to fall asleep cradled in his arms before I’m swamped with accounting courses again. I don’t want to show him how worried I really am to head back to the city all alone, so I nod as if I completely agree with him. I just hope our relationship can survive this. I take another bite of the pan-seared salmon, wanting the food to comfort me.
“Another Mason masterpiece,” I say as I indulge in the dish.
“Why thank you,” he chuckles. He’s so sure that everything is going to work out. This confident man doesn’t have a single doubt in his mind. I wish I could be more like him, fearless and ready to take on anything. He loves a good challenge and do
esn’t mind working hard to get what he wants. That’s how he ended up getting the athletic director position. Those extra hours he put in with students making sure they reached their full potential had paid off. He’s passionate about his job, and that’s why I didn’t want him to risk his position on account of me. I would hate myself if it was my fault that his job was put on the line. He loves his students so much, it’s actually kind of sexy. It turns me on when he talks about his plans for the upcoming school year because he speaks with such vigor, and I can see how devoted he is to improving the lives of his students. He’s a good man with a lot to offer, and I don’t want to lose him.
We clear the table and make our way to his bedroom. I crawl into bed beside him and intertwine my body with his. We stare into each other’s eyes without saying a word, but nothing needs to be said in this moment. He runs his fingers through my hair as I fall deep into those crystal blue pools of his. I never want to leave this bed, but by this time tomorrow, I’ll be back in Manhattan, tossing and turning on the stiff mattress in my dorm room.
My eyelids become heavy, but I fight to keep them open. I can’t fall asleep yet; I need a few more hours with him. The protective folds over my eyes flutter as I struggle to stay awake, and I can feel myself giving in to my sleepiness. His lips touch mine, and his kiss puts me to bed.
The sky is dimly lit by a half-risen sun. Mason’s truck comes to a stop a block away from my parent’s home. This is it. This is where we say goodbye. I try my best to hold back my tears, but the drops leak from my eyes like a facet. He wipes my tears away, but they just keep flowing. I told myself I wasn’t going cry, but now that the moment is here, I can’t help myself. I bury my head in his chest, and he holds me as I weep.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he says, but it’s not okay. I have to pack my bags so that I can leave for what’s going to seem like forever. It isn’t fair that I have to be away from him for so long. I should be able to stay with the man that I love and not be forced to go off and work toward a career I don’t even want. He kisses the top of my head as he gently strokes my back with his hand.
I wipe away my tears and try to pull myself together. I have to sneak back into my house before my mom and dad wake up, so I can’t sit out here wallowing in my sorrow.
“I need one last kiss,” I say. Mason places his hand under my chin and leans in for our final smooch. He sends those butterflies fluttering through my stomach as always. The goodbye kiss causes another stream of tears to run down my cheeks, making it even harder to get out of his truck. “I don’t want to leave,” I confess.
“It’ll only be for a little while, and we’ll talk every day on the phone. It won’t be so bad. You’ll see,” he says. I whimper as I attempt to believe him. He dries my eyes, and I stare into his one last time. They pierce right through my heart.
It’s one simple word, but I can’t get it out. It’s stuck on the tip of my tongue, trapped inside of my mouth. The sun is hanging high in the sky, and my parents could wake up and check my room any minute now. I have to get it out, whether I want to or not. Somehow, I muster up the strength to say it.
“Goodbye,” I say with my tears still streaming. He takes a deep breath, and his ice blue eyes melt into puddles. He manages to keep the drops from falling, though, staying strong for the both of us.
“Goodbye, Tessa,” his bass voice breaks. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” The words flow right out of my mouth. I sigh heavily as I open the car door and hop down from his truck. I wipe at my tears and quickly walk up the street to my house. I have to get into bed and pretend like I slept in it last night. I got away with sneaking around all summer, so I can’t get caught now. I jog up the front porch steps and take one last look back at Mason. He watches from his truck as I creep through the door and then softly close it shut behind me.
I tiptoe up the stairs to my bedroom, trying not to make a sound. My parents’ room is as silent as a grave. I sneak past their door and dip into my sleeping quarters. I crawl into my bed and lie there in a somber state, wishing there was an answer to all of my problems. I should be packing, but I can’t move. I can barely breathe, not without Mason. My heart is in pain, and it feels like it’s about to burst.
“Good morning, sweetie,” my mom says as she softly knocks on my bedroom door. “Ready to head back to school?” The answer is absolutely not, but I can’t tell her that. She looks around the room in disappointment. “Oh, Tessa. You haven’t even packed yet.”
“I’m working on it, Mom,” I say, still lying in bed hopelessly. Like the mama bird that she is, she swoops down to save her baby nestling. She curls up next to me and strokes my hair.
“Honey, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you look so down,” she asks. Her comforting touch urges me to be vulnerable with her. She’s my mother, so I should be able to open up to her.
“I’m not sure about going back to Trinity,” I admit.
“What do you mean? I thought you loved it there?” She seems completely puzzled.
“It’s not what I want anymore.” In all reality, it was never what I wanted. Accounting is my mom and dad’s dream for me, but I never desired a life full of financial records.
“Don’t you want a good career that pays well? Your daddy and I always dreamed of you becoming this big shot successful woman who lives in New York City, like the ones you see on TV. You have the potential to be great, Tessa. You don’t want to throw it all away, do you?”
I don’t care about some fancy career and lavish lifestyle in the Big Apple. I’m a small-town girl in love with a man who lives miles away from the bustling streets of Manhattan. I wish she knew that, but I can’t tell her everything right now. If I did, she would probably think Mason is the only reason why I want to stay in Sunnyside, but the truth is, I never wanted to leave home in the first place. If she knew how much I hated my freshman year, maybe she would think twice about sending me back.
“Mom, I can be successful doing something else. You and Daddy do just fine at the plant store. I don’t have to join Wall Street just to make an honest living,” I say.
“We want better for you. Yeah, business is booming, but it took a lot to get there. I don’t want to see you struggle the way we did when your daddy first opened the shop. You need a promising career. After all, isn’t that what you want?”
I want to stay here in my hometown with Mason and marry him someday, maybe even have a bunch of his babies. And I want to open a pastry shop that all of the Sunnyside patrons rush to when they’re itching for a sugary treat. That’s all I really want, but that answer might drive my mom berserk, so I nod at the loving woman and pretend to agree with her.
“Good,” she says as she lifts my torso. “Now, let’s pack.” I reluctantly roll out of bed as she begins to fold and toss articles of clothing into a suitcase.
It looks like I’m going back to New York City, whether I want to or not. I pack up all of my things and check to make sure I haven’t left anything important behind. Then it hits me that I’m leaving the most important person in my life here in Sunnyside. Daddy tosses my suitcase into the back of mom’s car, and it takes everything in me to not burst out into tears. There’s a lump in my throat as I climb into the passenger seat. If I break down crying, I’ll have to tell my parents everything, and I can’t do that, so I stifle my emotions. I choke back my tears and hold my head up high. As Mom pulls out of the driveway, I cling onto Mason’s words for dear life.
20
Tessa
I sink further into the wooden desk I’ve been sulking in for the last hour and a half. Time is dragging, and I feel like this class is never going to end. My mind drifts as thoughts of Mason drown out my professor’s never-ending drone. I’ve been back in school now for two weeks, but I can’t seem to focus one bit. I feel lost wandering around the familiar campus. Nothing makes sense anymore, and I spend most of my time in bed crying over Mason. We talk on the phone every day, but I miss seeing his face and falling asleep in his arm
s. The last two weeks have been so torturous that I’m not sure I can make it through two semesters. I feel like I’m losing my mind without him.
All of my classes this semester are accounting courses, and I hate every last one of them. God, I wish I had the nerve to tell Mom and Dad that I don’t want to be here. I’d rather be at home with them and my friends, but most of all with Mason. I miss the forehead kisses he showered me with all summer long, and I miss the way my alpha male would seize me in his arms and clench me to his chest as I felt his love radiating from his body. Now, my nights are spent alone on a cold, stiff mattress. I dream about him every night, and when I wake up, a wave of grief crashes into me once I realize he’s miles away.
My mind is even starting to play tricks on me. I swore I saw him a few days ago inside of the neighborhood deli buying groceries, but my heart was stricken when I ran up to the man with my arms wide open and discovered that it wasn’t my beloved Mason. I felt horrible, and when I got back to my dorm room, I curled up into a ball on my bed and cried my eyes out. I miss him so much; I just wish I could look into those oceanic eyes again and swim in his love.
Students dash out of the classroom, alerting me that the professor has wrapped up her lesson. I take my time gathering my belongings and drag my feet out the door. My head hangs low as I walk along the campus trail. The sun is shining brightly in the sky, but I feel like a rain cloud is following me around. I just want to hurry up and get inside my dorm room so that I can lie around in bed for the rest of the day.
