Lover Boy (Blue Collar Bachelors Book 1)

by Cassie-Ann L. Miller

  We agreed that feelings wouldn’t get involved, that this was only about sex. But the warm, yearning feeling in my chest is anything but neutral at this point.

  He runs a knuckle across my cheekbone and rolls across the mattress. Before I can register what’s going on, he’s on his feet. He’s pulling on his boxers and his pants. He’s tugging his T-shirt over his head.

  I should say something. I should assure him that I’m still very aware of the terms of our agreement. I should remind him that this was my idea, that I can handle being just bed buddies and nothing more.

  But none of that is true.

  My heart is raw and open. Vulnerable. Things are changing between us. There’s no way he doesn’t feel it too. I want to scoop him into my arms. I want to take care of him. And Brenton. I want to be more in his life. I shouldn’t want these things, but I do.

  Still, I’m not stupid. I know that vocalizing these things will only push him away. Yes, I want more but I definitely don’t want to loose the little bit that we have right now.

  He shoves his fingers into his hair and a chill immediately sinks into my bones. I watch him walk naked to the window. He needs space. It’s a cold reminder of the reality of our situation.

  Just sex. No hand-holding. No sleepovers. No sweet nothings in the dark.

  “I’m gonna go get some fresh air,” he tells me.

  It suddenly feels very chilly in here. And I feel exposed. “Yeah,” I say as I pull the blanket high on my chest.

  His shoulders are bunched with tension and his forehead creased. He throws me one last glance before he walks out of the room. Feeling like shit, I crawl out of bed and pad over to the dresser to grab some pajamas.

  I glance out the window and Leo is there, sitting on the bottom step, sucking on a cigarette. Even from all the way over here, I can see how tense he is. I can’t help but want to fix him and his life even though I have no right to.

  Lying in the dark, I stare up at the ceiling. I don’t get any sleep. My eyes flick constantly to the alarm clock on the bedside table. It takes forever for 3:30 to finally show up. I get up and pad quietly into the bathroom, careful not to wake Brent. I shower and pull my wet hair into a high bun. As I brush my teeth, I avoid looking into the mirror because I know what I’ll see. I don’t want to see my desolate expression. I don’t want to see the ‘I told you so’ in my own eyes. Because I wasn’t supposed to get this deep into this man’s life.

  I glance out the window. Thankfully, Leo isn’t sitting out there in the cold anymore but now, I’m not sure where he is and I have to leave for work. I can’t leave until I find him because Brent is asleep in the guest bedroom.

  I grab my purse and keys before I tiptoe downstairs. My search for Leo comes to an end at the bottom of the stairs. He’s lying on the couch, chest rising and falling evenly.

  And I can’t pretend it doesn’t sting that he chose the lumpy sofa. He chose not to spend the night in my bed.

  Chapter 27

  Reese

  Sophia bounces through the front door of the Broken Cupcake just after lunch, looking absolutely radiant.

  “Hi!” She waves excitedly as she makes her way over to the counter.

  I come around the cash register and give her a quick hug. “Hey—wow, you look gorgeous!”

  “Why, thank you!” She quirks a narrow shoulder coyly and grins, basking in the compliment. Her gleaming hair falls in soft waves around her face and her candy pink skirt suit is perfectly tailored to her slim body. Her mood has definitely improved since the last time I saw her. All signs of insecurity are gone and she’s back to being a princess happily living out her fairy tale. She furrows her brows. “You’ve got food dye on your nose.” She grabs a napkin and blots delicately at my face.

  Of course I do. Of course I’m a haggard mess in the face of Sophia’s unflawed femininity. Such is the sad story of my life.

  “Thank you,” I snort as I double-check my disheveled reflection in the glass of the cupcake display case. “What are you doing here?” I ask as I return to my station behind the counter.

  “I spoke to Nova and she said that she was passing by so I decided to come pick up some cupcakes for the construction workers. They’re doing such a good job. I thought it’d be a nice treat for them.”

  Sophia may be a bit high maintenance but she’s undeniably sweet, a great person. “That’s nice of you. They’ll like that.” The melancholy I feel on the inside bleeds into my voice.

  Leo’s on my mind now. I imagine him over at Sophia’s house, sweat beading on his temples, slick muscles bulging as he pushes a wheelbarrow or swings a hammer or does any number of the stereotypical activities that are routinely performed in female fantasies about construction workers.

  I wonder if he’s thinking about me. I wonder if there’s any chance that he may change his mind about the possibilities for our situationship. I love exploring his body, submitting to his raw sexual power, watching the look on his face as he climaxes inside of me. But now, I want his heart…even though I know it’s too much to ask.

  I hear Sophia clear throat dramatically. My head snaps up and she’s looking at me with a curious expression. “Uh, the cupcakes…”

  I shake my head and bring my attention back to the present. “Right, right…” I grab a large box and start arranging cakes inside. “And by the way, why the hell are you so radiant right now?” I give her another onceover.

  Her eyes twinkle at me. “Joshie and I had a pre-wedding spa appointment this morning,” she tells me. “We may or may not have taken our relaxation to the next level after the hot stone massage.” She giggles.

  “Lucky you,” I mutter. I should be happy for my friend. Instead, I’m sort of jealous. She has clarity. She has a man who put a ring on it. Even if he’s somewhat of an arrogant, vexatious ass-kerchief. She knows where she stands with him. But with Leo, I don’t know what’s going on in his head. The only thing I know is that I’m falling deeper and deeper into what I feel for him.

  A wistful breath escapes Sophia’s painted lips. “Too bad he had to leave early. Business stuff came up. A luxury boutique in Manhattan just placed a small order for his nail clippers.” She beams with excitement. “This is a big deal for him. A chance to finally prove to his father that he’s a real businessman, y’know? No one else believes in him. That’s why I’ve got to give him my full support even if it means we can’t spend as much time together as I’d like.”

  It’s a struggle not to roll my eyes at her unrelenting dedication. “When have you and Josh ever spent five minutes together without business interrupting it?”

  Her eyes narrow at my snarkiness. “What’s your deal today?” she asks with a pout.

  Shit—I think I’ve hurt her feelings which is not what I intended. “Sorry, Soph. I’m just a little...preoccupied.”

  “Is your ‘lover’ not delivering all those slutty, little orgasms you were expecting?” She draws elegant air-quotes around the word. I almost laugh. From her tone, I can tell that she’s still not on board with Leo and my situation. And now I’m starting to think that she may have been right all along.

  I sigh. “It’s getting complicated.”

  Nova strides in through the front door just in time to hear that. “Theresa Hartley, please don’t tell me that you’re developing feelings for your fuck friend!” She drops her guitar case down next to her scuffed combat boots.

  The group of teenaged girls sitting at a table nearby spin my way. “Nova, keep it down!” I whisper-yell.

  She ignores me. “Reese, the whole point of a fuck friend is to simplify your life. To afford you the joy of sex without the heartache of relationships. Sort of like having a human vibrator. It’s not okay to form emotional attachments to your sex toys.”

  At Nova’s rather colorful analogy, Sophia huffs through her nose and looks away, shaking her head.

  “I know, I know.” My shoulders drop heavily. “But I can’t help it. He’s just…he’s fucking fantastic, okay? And
I can’t help but want more from him. A girl’s self-restraint can only withstand so much. But he’s so broken. He’s been hurt, badly. I’m just scared.” I sigh. “There’s this little voice at the back of my head, constantly warning me that he’s just on the rebound, that all he really wants is the sex which is fine because that’s what I signed up for. Except it’s not fine because I’m falling for him.” I’m winded and frustrated now.

  Sophia watches me with soft, thoughtful eyes as she runs her fingers across the pearl necklace at her throat. “Well, maybe you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel.”

  “I can’t do that,” I say forcefully. “I started this thing under false pretences. I told him that I didn’t need more than sex from him.”

  Nova shakes her head back and forth and her big hair swishes left to right. “Y’see, this is why I stick mostly to my battery-operated buddies. And the occasional vegan Sagittarian. Keeps me out of trouble. Because men…” She shakes her head again.

  Sophia crosses her arms across her delicate chest and stares at me. “You changed your mind. You’re perfectly entitled to change your mind. Just be honest with him.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Nova says cautiously. “This guy is your neighbor. You have to handle the situation carefully or else you will never be able to sit on your damn porch again.”

  Sophia faces her. “But what if he feels the way she does?”

  “Then, let him be the one to say so,” Nova advises with a cocked brow.

  “Well, you never struck me as a misogynist!”

  “It’s not about misogyny. It’s self-preservation.”

  A group of soccer moms barrel through the front door with their mud-covered, cleat-wearing kids and storm the counter. My friends move to a table in the corner to give them room. While I serve the group, the girls’ conflicting words replay in my head.

  Should I take a risk and have a frank conversation with Leo? Or should I just suck it up and find a way to get over this silly crush?

  Shit—I have no clue what I’m going to do.

  Chapter 28

  Leo

  The click-clack of high heels catches my attention. I glance up and see Sophia approaching down the long hallway toward the upstairs guest bathroom. She gives me a little smile and I nod my head in greeting.

  “I brought you a cupcake.” She stretches a little frosted treat to me. “I hope red velvet is fine for you.”

  I set down my trowel and wipe my hands on a rag before taking it. “Red velvet is great. Thanks.”

  Sophia’s actually really nice. I formed a not-so-favorable opinion of her the first time I saw her in her fancy clothes and her salon-styled hair. But she’s kind and down-to-earth. I feel bad that I misjudged her.

  When I take the cake and bite into it, I expect her to turn and leave but she lingers in the doorway. Her eyes scan the bathroom floor where I’m laying down the tiles. “This looks so good,” she says wistfully. “I’m so excited for it to be done.”

  I half-smile. “Almost there.” In two bites, I’ve already devoured the delicious cake. Reese is amazing at what she does. Actually, Reese is amazing, period.

  Last night shit got real. I wanted to lie there and hold her, fall asleep with her in my arms. But I saw the look on her face as we lay next to each other recovering from the aftershocks of the earthshattering sex. She’s starting to feel things. Things that mirror the feelings digging their way into my heart. Things that go beyond the physical.

  I thought I could use her body to get numb, to forget the bullshit in my life. But I don't feel numb at all. I feel everything. Every emotion is magnified when she smiles at me, when she kisses me, when she lies next to me. I like all of Reese's pieces. They're sugary. Addictive. I can't help myself.

  I want her. Badly. I miss her whenever she's not next to me. I spend my days thinking about her. I want to do things for her, make her life easier. And god knows I want to do things to her. She's so good. She's an angel. I want to be someone she can rely on. Someone she can trust. Even though she deserves better than I could ever give her.

  But I'm not in the right headspace to venture into a relationship with her. It wouldn't be fair to her. There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t be dragging her any deeper into my world. I’m a mess.

  Reese is sweet and innocent. She doesn't know the sting of betrayal or the chill of uncertainty or the bite of regret. At night, when she's sound asleep under her floral-patterned duvet in her tone matching bed, betrayal, uncertainty and grief keep me company.

  I snap out of my musings and realize that Sophia is still standing there, dawdling, stalling as if there’s something she’s hesitating to say. She remains silent so I pick up my trowel and resume slathering the tile adhesive all over the floor.

  “I had my doubts about putting terra cotta tiles in the bathroom,” she says slowly, “Because the paint doesn’t match and the crown molding has a different style completely…I went back and forth in my mind for a while but ultimately, I took a risk…even though I wasn’t one hundred percent sure. Sometimes in life, you can’t be one hundred percent sure…” She gives me a hard, meaningful look. Something tells me she isn’t talking about floor tiles anymore. “Sometimes, you have to take a risk. Even when you aren’t ready. When you aren’t sure.”

  “Uh…yeah.” I turn my attention back to the work in front of me.

  Eventually, she sighs in frustration and spins on her heel but then she pauses again. She just can’t control herself. “You do realize that that was a metaphor, right?”

  I laugh deep in my throat. “Yes, Sophia. I get the deeper meaning.” She’s telling me to take a risk on Reese even though I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.

  She looks pleased with herself and smiles wide. “There’s more cupcakes in the kitchen if you want.” Her heels click loudly as she disappears back down the hall.

  Chapter 29

  Leo

  “Daddy, that one is a donkey!”

  Brenton tugs excitedly on the leg of my pant, pulling me toward the stable where a small hoofed animal stands behind a short wooden fence. I toss a handful of colored popcorn into my mouth and follow after him. “Sure is,” I tell him.

  The Copper Heights Community Park has been transformed into a petting zoo for the weekend. And true to her word, Reese showed up to take Brent to see the animals. I decided to tag along because I wanted to be around this woman and hear her laughter floating on the air and watch her drop mustard from her hotdog into her cleavage (again). I couldn’t just stay home. I wanted nothing more than to spend the day hanging out with my son and our beautiful neighbor.

  Glancing over my shoulder, I flash a grin at her. She looks just as fascinated by the animals as the kids do, observing them with big, brown eyes full of wonder.

  The girl is addictive.

  I’ve never wanted any woman the way I want Reese Hartley. She’s generous, considerate and giving. She takes care of me and Brent. She treats us like her own. And I want to make her mine. So that she never goes away. I want to keep her and I don't care if it's wrong or right.

  Leaving my emotions out of the mix is becoming an increasingly difficult proposition. Each time I fuck her, I want to hold her. I want to fall asleep with her in my arms and curve my body against hers all night. But that wasn’t part of the plan.

  Just sex. No hand-holding. No sleepovers. No sweet nothings in the dark.

  I’m starting to wish I’d never made those rules because I want to break every one of them.

  A zoo attendant smiles at my son and offers him a handful of crackers. “Can I feed the donkey, daddy?”

  I gently nudge him forward. “Go ahead.”

  He bounces excitedly through the crowd and holds a few crackers in his palm for the animal. He giggles and looks back at me as the donkey’s big, wet snout swipes his hand for the treat. Reese pulls her phone out of her cross-body bag and starts snapping shots. “Get into the frame!” she tells me, pushing me toward the sta
ble.

  “Come, daddy!” Brenton hands me the remaining crackers. “Feed him,” my son coaxes me.

  I stretch my hand out and the donkey’s nose grazes my palm. Damn, that tickles! Now, I’m laughing as the animal’s muzzle moves across my hand. My hysteria is drawing some attention but I don’t care.

  An older woman grabs the phone from Reese and gives her a push forward. “Get in there! Get in the picture!”

  I tug the pretty girl into my arms and hitch Brenton up on my hip as the woman takes a series of snaps with the phone.

  Reese tries to hide her face in my shirt but Brenton and I tickle her silly. That results in a string of dreadful candids that she demands that I erase immediately. Of course, I take her phone and delete the photos one by one. But not before I text them all to myself first.