“I can decide for myself, Arianna. It’s just that my decision is not the right one.”
I turned away from him. All I could think about was that I was not the right decision. I was what was causing all of this mess.
I could feel him breathing against the back of my neck as he spoke, “I’m sorry. That didn’t come out the right way.”
“I wish you’d tell me what you want. Just forget everything and everyone else and tell me what YOU want.”
“I want you,” he said. “But this is nothing but a vicious cycle. The more I have you, the more I want you. When it comes to you, I’m insatiable.”
How do you respond to that? I looked at him and all I saw in his eyes was desire, and I was as lost and confused as he was.
“I’m not willingly sending you away, Blake.”
He moved to where he sat in front of me, placing his hands each on one side of my face. “Close your eyes,” he said.
I did and my heart started to race.
“I know we have no future together.” Those words made me feel cold. I opened my eyes ready to tell him to walk away if he felt that way, even though he was right in every way.
“There’s nothing I want more than to be with you, Arianna.”
“I want to be with you, too.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I was hoping you didn’t.”
“How can I not, Blake?”
“Because—”
I couldn’t take this back and forth anymore. If the present was all I had, I was going to take advantage of it. I leaned forward, kissing him. His hand went to the back of my neck, his fingers running through my curls, and he lowered me down to the floor. We kissed until I felt like I needed air. And then the weight of his words fell on me. Either way, I couldn’t have him choose me because I knew how much it would hurt him to turn into his father and how much it would hurt me to know that at the end of the day, he would always go back to her.
I pushed him off me.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“Nothing, I—I just think we are being unfair to a lot of people. Maybe you are right.”
“I’m going to find a way to leave her after we get married.”
“Maybe you should stay away from me for a while to see if you’ll change your mind.”
There was hurt in his eyes, and I had to look away.
“I won’t change my mind about how I feel about you.”
“Maybe not, but maybe you’ll change your mind about your decision in relation to everyone else. I don’t want you to regret it.”
“Arianna, my entire life is one huge regret.” There was pain in his tone.
“I can’t be the reason you lose everything.”
“You are my everything.”
I put my hand to his face. “I’m not. You know how you keep saying that you are not a fairy tale? I’m not one either. Blake, you can’t want to be with me because you know nothing about me.”
“And you think you know me?” he asked.
I nodded.
“I know how I feel Arianna. That is about the only thing I know.”
He leaned over and we started to kiss as I felt his hand move from the small of my back to the top of my dress, reaching for the zipper and slowly opening it. My hands were under his shirt, moving to his back. My nails digging deep into his skin as he kissed my neck.
“BLAKE! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!”
We both froze and I knew right away that was his father down at the bottom of the tree.
“Fuck!” he said. He looked at me with a horrified look. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Blake helped me zip my dress back up.
“I DON’T HAVE ALL FUCKING NIGHT, BLAKE!”
“Dad?” I heard Owen’s voice in the background.
We both got down from the tree house. They both held flashlights, and the fury in Mr. Crawford’s face made me want to run away.
I saw Owen try to calm him down, to no avail.
“Would you like to enlighten me on what the fuck is going on over here?”
Blake wouldn’t even look at him.
“You could at least wait until you are married before you go fucking around,” he said.
Blake looked up and met his father’s gaze, “Like you?” he said.
The look on his dad’s face made me cringe. Owen got in between them. “Maybe you should talk about this when you both calm down. Let’s just go back to the house.” When it didn’t seem like either of them were moving, Owen said, “We should go back before Brooke comes looking for him. She was already freaking out at the house.”
Without taking his eyes off Blake, his dad said, “You, go back to the house, make up a good excuse, and give your fiancée the night she deserves.”
He then looked at me. “And you and I are going to have a little talk!” he said.
When Blake didn’t move, Owen started to look worried.
Owen looked at Blake. “I’ll stay here with her. Don’t make this worse.”
Blake gave me an apologetic look and left.
His father stood at the end of the trail and watched him leave. While he did so, Owen got closer to me and whispered. “Don’t let what he says get to you. Just tune it out. I’ll take care of everything after. Just trust me.”
Only, I didn’t trust him. I didn’t trust either of them. When Mr. Crawford faced me again, I was even more terrified.
“I know how girls like you think. You just come around acting sweet, and do what you need to do until you get pregnant. Don’t you think I know that all you are looking for is a ring on your finger and a nice size bank account?”
“Dad,” said Owen.
By that point, tears were rolling down my face.
“Take is easy on her,” said Owen to my surprise.
His dad faced him, giving me a cold look. “If you are staying here, you’ll be quiet until I’m done saying what I have to say.”
Owen put both hands up, giving up. I looked down, staring at the floor.
“I’m not after his money,” I said softly.
“And so she speaks!” he said. “Honestly, I could care less whether you are after money or not. I could write you a check right now to get rid of you. But there’s no need because you’re not coming near my son again. He has plans and he’s going to follow through with them.”
I lifted my head up with every intention of telling him those were not Blake’s plans… those were his plans, but Owen shook his head, signaling that I should be quiet.
“I want you gone and out of his life by morning. Owen will take you to the city and you can find your way to wherever you are going from there.”
I started to sob.
“Dad?” said Owen.
“WHAT?”
“I don’t think that’s going to go well with Mom and Molly.”
His took a deep breath and looked like he was reconsidering it for a while.
He sighed. “You can stay for now. I’ll make sure Blake doesn’t come here.”
The possibility of not being able to see him was destroying me.
His dad looked at Owen. “Keep her at the stupid tree house until morning.”
He looked at me with hate and disgust. He then turned around and walked away.
Chapter Seventeen
As soon as he left, Owen actually turned around and kicked the nearest tree. “Fuck!” he said. “Well, this complicates things.”
I turned around and left him talking to himself as I went up to the tree house. I wrapped myself with the blanket that smelled like Blake, sat down, and started to cry even more.
After a while, Owen came up. He looked around at the rose petals scattered all over the place, and sat across from me.
“I’m sorry your plans got messed up,” I said.
“I’ll work something out. I’m just afraid of what will happen to you while I do.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “What are you that gave you the power to change
me?”
“Oh, I’m human. One hundred percent human.”
“But you have powers that are not.”
He shrugged.
“What’s going to happen to me?”
“Hopefully, nothing. Look around. He’ll find a way to see you and I’ll do what I can to help. The merger gets signed soon anyway. My father will relax after that.”
“And if he doesn’t?” I asked.
“We’ll have to wait and see.”
I was afraid, but it wasn’t fear of what would happen to me. I was afraid for Blake. There was no good in his father, or brother for that matter. If his father acted like this toward me, I couldn’t even imagine what he would do and say to Blake.
I could feel Owen’s gaze on me and I knew this would be the longest night of my life.
As if reading my mind, he said, “You know—Blake will be fine. What you saw tonight was nothing compared to how our dad treated us growing up.”
I met his gaze and he looked as if what he said didn’t bother him at all.
“Why?” I asked.
“Control. He feels this need to control everyone who surrounds him.”
“And it doesn’t bother you?”
He shrugged. “Being raised like that, you become immune to it. That’s what happened in Blake’s case anyway. It’s like he was programmed into behaving a certain way and he doesn’t know how to break from that.”
I shivered at the thought of him growing up like that.
“What about you?” I asked Owen.
He grinned. “I didn’t get it as bad as Blake. He’s the oldest and the attention was always on him. Let’s just say that I got lucky. It also helped that I was interested in whatever my dad told me to do. Blake never wanted his life. He never wanted to go to the school he went to, or play the sports that he did. Even though he excelled in everything, he hated all of it.
I turned to my side, leaned my arm on the windowsill and looked at the stars.
“For how long exactly have you been in love with my brother?” he asked.
I didn’t even turn to look at him. I didn’t even stop to think about how my answer would give him even more power over me. All I said was, “For as long as I can remember.”
Chapter Eighteen
BLAKE
This can’t be happening. He’s going to emotionally tear her apart and I’ll be forever reminded of how I was the piece of shit who left her behind with the man who destroyed my life.
I want to turn around and go back. I want to protect her, but I can’t make myself do it. I’ve always been weak when it comes to him, but this shows how broken I am and how much she doesn’t deserve me.
All I can do is hope that Owen has her back. For that alone, I will owe him more than he could ever imagine.
I stare at the back of the house, not wanting to go in, but Brooke sees me through the window and comes out.
“Where the hell have you been?” she asks.
I shrug, “I was getting some fresh air.”
“For this long?”
I say what I have to try and calm her down because at this point, that is all I can do. “I was just walking around and thinking about the wedding, the future…”
She actually smiles at me. “Well, let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted.”
“Actually,” I say, “I need to wait up for my dad and Owen.”
“It’s three in the morning, Blake!”
I’m at a loss for what to do. “Alright, let’s go.”
She puts her arms around me and we go into the room. I’m not going to lie. I’m glad she’s exhausted. Still, the whole situation makes me sick, especially when she lays her head on my chest. With every breath I take, I inhale the scent of her shampoo, her lotion, and everything is almost too much. Something about all of those chemicals combined is a turn off and I can’t help but to think about how good Arianna smells, and her scent is so natural. All I do… all I can do is to wish that Arianna was the one laying there. I have no fucking clue how I’m going to be able to live my life like this.
Within seconds, she pulls away from me. I pretend I’m sleeping but I still hear her complain about the smell of seawater on me. When I don’t move, she rolls over and goes to sleep.
After she falls asleep, I get up and go out of the room, wondering if Arianna is back in the house. I have to at least find Owen to find out how things went.
I go to Owen’s room, but he’s not there. In the living room, I grab a bottle of Jack Daniels and make myself a drink, then another.
I hadn’t even seen my dad sitting there in the dark.
I put my second drink down and before I can go for the third, he says, “Done?”
I nod.
“In my office, NOW!”
I follow him there and this is no different than when I got in trouble as a teenager.
His face is full of rage. He comes close to me, clenches his fist, and punches my stomach. I stand there and take it, mostly because the physical pain will take my mind off the emotional crap, even if it’s temporary.
He takes a few steps back, not that he’s any calmer now. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
I stand there with plenty of things to say, but nothing comes out.
“Were you at least using protection? She’s out to get your money, you know? You are marrying Brooke. Unless you want your mom and Molly homeless, we need that merger.”
It’s always with the emotional blackmail. “Yes, I used protection,” I lie. “What is going to happen to her?”
He looks at me and shakes his head.
“Your brother brought up a few points that justify her staying here. But you’re not getting near her again. If you do and I find out, and trust me that I will, well… she will be gone. Understood?”
I swallow the lump that forms in my throat when I think of not seeing her again, and I nod.
“Take Brooke out of here in the morning.”
I nod once again.
“And just so you know, signing those papers tomorrow doesn’t grant you permission to screw around. Especially considering your inability to do so and not get caught.”
This is one of those moments when I hate him more than ever. I hate him for being the man he is and for doing what he does behind my mom’s back. That is the reason why I feel the way I do now about cheating. The last thing I want is to turn into someone like him.
I’m about to leave his office when he stops me and in a sick way, I know what’s coming. “Blake, you know what you have to do now. You have to prove that your head is in the right place. I want you to go into that room and make it up to that girl, and you damn well better be sure that I can hear how satisfied she is. The last thing I need is to lose sleep the day before the merger.”
“Yes, Sir.”
On my way to the room, I just grab the bottle of Jack Daniels and take it with me. He made me do the same exact thing one of the times when I broke up with Brooke. I sit on the recliner in my room and finish the bottle. At this point, I don’t particularly like the person I have become, but I have no reason to fix it either. I can’t see Arianna again. She needs to be protected and if I screw this up, she will have no choice but to go back to her old life, wherever that is.
I wait a few minutes for the alcohol to hit me and I move toward the bed. I put my arm around Brooke and now she complains about the smell of seawater mixed with alcohol.
“Just stop talking!” I say as I remove her panties.
That turns her on. She is now wide awake and pulling my pants down. I grab a condom because the last thing I need is her getting pregnant.
I don’t even bother with the rest of her clothes. I fuck her until she screams loud enough for everyone to hear. I don’t even finish. As soon as she is done, I pull out, roll over and pass out.
Brooke wakes me up at seven the next morning. I have a killer hangover and I already know my day won’t get any better. She says my dad told her that we are all going to the city together for breakfast and
then we’ll leave from there.
I get up and get ready. When I step foot in the living room, Molly is upset that she won’t get to say bye to Arianna. That makes two of us…
“Where is Owen?” I ask.
“Well,” my dad says in a sarcastic tone, “word is that he has been dating Arianna and they are out together. Imagine that!” He gives me a look to say he’s not sure how this lie got around. “He’ll just have to meet us later.”
We all head to the boat, leaving the other one for Owen. Our boat is leaving when I spot her and Owen going inside the house. We aren’t even that close, but it’s enough to see that she looks devastated.
Chapter Nineteen
ARIANNA
Owen and I walked back to the house silently. Owen actually walked ahead of me and I knew something was bothering him, but I didn’t care. Once we got close to the house, I could see the boat moving away, but I couldn’t look at it. It hurt too much.
We got in the house and I faced Owen, “When are you leaving?” I asked.
“I have to go back now, but—” He ran his fingers through his hair.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m not sure you should be left alone.”
“What do you care?” I asked.
“I don’t, but—” he sighed. “If there are complications with getting Blake here, I don’t know what will happen to you.”
“Again with that? What do you mean?”
He took a deep breath. “Our deal isn’t as simple as I made it sound. There are things involved that include more than words and giving you legs.”
I gave him a puzzled look.
“You and Blake’s souls are bound together.”
For some reason that didn’t shock me. I felt an attraction to Blake even before we officially met. We had a connection—I stopped to think about it and wondered if maybe the connection I felt was one sided and everything Blake felt was merely a result of this bond created by Owen.
As if Owen could read my mind, he said, “Binding your souls only go so far. It works the same as with your feelings. It just heightens emotions that are already there.”
Insatiable Page 9
