My emotions were like exposed nerves; when they were touched, they had the ability to bring me to my knees. I didn’t want it to be like that, but no amount of therapy or drugs could ever change what I’d gone through after my mother died—how my father had blamed me for her death—and how I’d blamed myself.
The soft knock on the door pulled me from my internal battle. I stood up and wiped my face, attempting to make myself more presentable, and not like I’d been crying my eyes out for the past five minutes.
“Just a moment,” I called out, trying to buy myself more time.
“Scarlett,” Carrick said softly, as he pushed open the door. I turned away so he wouldn’t be able to see what a mess I was. He’d already seen me drunk, high, and in the throes of passion, but he didn’t need to see me utterly broken—not if I could help it. “Baby, I’m so sorry for scaring you.”
His hand touched my arm gently, but I remained facing away from him. “It’s fine. I just needed a minute.”
“Scarlett, look at me, please.” I took a deep breath and schooled my face before turning. My eyes were splotchy and red-rimmed. He would know I’d been crying, but he didn’t have to know why. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I would never hurt you. The worst I will ever do is yell and throw things when I lose my temper.”
I winced as he reached to run his hand down my face. It was an automatic reaction; most men didn’t touch me reverently—it was always in anger—but Carrick was different, and I knew this. I expected him to jerk away at my response, but instead he carefully, deliberately, put his hand to my cheek.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He placed a soft kiss to my forehead. “You don’t ever have to be sorry for your reactions. It makes me want to murder your father for hurting you, but none of that is your fault. I’m sorry I lost my temper.”
I pulled away and walked towards the huge bay window that overlooked the back gardens. The lush greenery was beautiful. Peaceful. “There’s so much you don’t know about me. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to tell you.”
Carrick was quiet for a minute before he crossed the room and stood next to me, bracing his hands on the window frame. “When I was twenty-five, I hadn’t been sober in almost two years. I blamed myself for my parents’ death and almost killed myself, trying to numb the pain that I felt from losing them. My cousin was the one that made me realize that I wasn’t living a life they would be proud of; they’d be disappointed in my actions and that I was wasting my talents. It took me longer than it should have for that to sink in, but eventually, it did.”
He turned to face me. “I wasn’t in control of the car that killed them any more than you were the driver that hit the car you were in.” His hand brushed against the small scar I had running through my eyebrow; the constant reminder I had of my mother’s death. “She wouldn’t have wanted you to waste your life with pointless blame. Scarlett, you’re not broken, just a little bruised.”
I wished I could believe him. Eventually he would see that he was wrong. But he was right about one thing. My mother wouldn’t have wanted me to blame myself. It didn’t change the fact that I did though.
He brushed my hair away from my face.
“We’re going to figure this out, together. I was a horrible husband the first time, but I swear to you, I’m going to be better this time.”
I took his hand in mine. “I promise you I’ll be a better wife than Jade.”
He chuckled and tucked me under his chin, against his side. “That won’t be hard to do, baby. We’ll figure this out. We just have to talk and quit running from each other.”
“You aren’t the one running,” I mumbled.
“Oh baby, if you only knew,” he whispered into my hair.
Chapter 10
Carrick
We postponed our trip to see Scarlett’s father. Mainly because I was afraid I would murder him if I saw him anytime soon, after what Scarlett had told me. I did call to tell him we were married, and requested that the remainder of her personal belongings be packed up and sent to us. Scarlett refused to speak to him, which was probably for the better. The announcement of our marriage had come only hours before the announcement of my uncle’s death. From a political standpoint, I couldn’t decide if we were incredibly lucky or a complete clusterfuck.
We were still waiting to hear from the church about Jade’s attempt to dissolve our marriage, a week later. My uncle’s last decree should have been enough, but this was taking longer than I was comfortable with. Each passing day made me wonder if something was missing when the priest recorded Scarlett’s and my hasty marriage. I was exhausted trying to keep it from the press, and adjusting to the role of being King, not just Prince Regent. There was a huge difference in my duties because my uncle hadn’t been totally incapacitated until the end. He’d tried his hardest to prepare me for the time I would be in this position, but not only was I dealing with new challenges, the grief of losing him was overwhelming.
I’d just settled against the headboard and closed my eyes when Scarlett walked back into the bedroom from our closet. She was supposed to be getting ready for bed. We had an early morning meeting with the press tomorrow, and I wanted to attempt to sleep before talking with the vultures about our marriage.
“Why are my clothes in the closet?” I gave her a funny look. “Not the ones that you bought me. My clothes, from home—from Carleigh.”
I sighed and opened my eyes. This wasn’t going to be pretty. “Your father had them sent a few days ago.”
“He did what?” Her voice was deadly calm, a sure sign she was pissed off. “We agreed that we were going to go and get them, so we could show my father the paperwork from our wedding, and it could be filed correctly in Carleigh.”
I ran my hands over my face. “Can we save this fight for another day, please? I’m not sure I’m up for a battle tonight.”
I’m not sure if she heard the exhaustion in my voice, or if she truly didn’t want to fight. Either way, I was relieved when she dropped it.
“Okay,” she said softly, settling beside me on the bed and placing her head on my shoulder. Her eyes raked over my bare chest. “I don’t want to argue either. What can I do that would make you feel better?”
“Don’t start, Scarlett. I’m not in the mood for you to patronize me tonight.”
She scowled. “You’re such an ass sometimes. I’m trying to be nice to you.”
“Well, just stop. I’m tense and the only thing I want right now is to get drunk off my ass—or fuck. So, unless you’re game for either one of those, just leave me alone.”
She sucked in a breath and bit down on that full bottom lip. I could see the wheels turning in her head. Knowing her, she would probably choose both, and the last thing I needed right now was to go down that dark path. Before I could say anything else, she straddled my lap, her soft weight pinning me down. My fingers instantly went to her thighs and gripped the silky nightgown she’d put on for bed.
“I know you think I’m being sarcastic, but I really do want to make things easier for you. We’re both tense and irritable. We need to figure out what’s going on with Jade and her inquiry, but we’re terrified to ask.” I sighed and she ran a comforting hand through my hair. “Either way, we’re married. Even if your divorce is messy and convoluted in the politics of whether I should actually be queen or not. It doesn’t matter what the church says; we’ll figure it out. Together.”
She looped her hands around my shoulders loosely, her lips twitching as she studied me. “Now, would you like to get lost in fucking me blind?”
She giggled when I flipped her onto her back and settled over her. It was a relief to laugh like this. For the past few days, I’d lived with a dark cloud over me. Just seeing Scarlett like this made me happy and gave me the briefest glimpse of sunlight. When I dug my fingers into her ribs to tickle her, she shrieked and squirmed underneath me. I loved hearing the sound of her laughter.
I paused when I he
ard the soft knock on the door. Not many people would bother me after I’d gone to bed for the night, but my assistant was under strict instructions to find me the second he heard anything about our situation.
“Carrick,” Scarlett whispered.
I nodded and put my fingers to her lips. She kissed them and I could see the worry in her eyes. We both desperately needed good news. I didn’t bother getting dressed because I wanted to get right back in bed with Scarlett, no matter what the news was. I crossed the room in only my gray sweatpants, that hung low on my hips; the ones where Scarlett couldn’t quit staring at the outline of my cock, so I wore them more often. Whoever was standing on the other side of that door deserved to get an eyeful if they were bothering my time with Scarlett anyway. She rolled to her side and propped her head up on her arm to watch me.
I took a deep breath and answered the door.
William stood there with a smile on his face, something I didn’t see often. The man might as well be made of stone most days.
“We won. You don’t have to worry about a single thing. Your uncle’s decree made your marriage to Jade disappear. So much so, that the church had to search through physical records, and that’s why it took so long for them to verify the validity of her claim. They said that if this was what your uncle wanted, they would follow his decree.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. Scarlett’s hand rested on my shoulder and I tugged her into my arms. I hadn’t even heard her walk up. “Thank goodness,” I murmured. My heart pounded in my chest and Scarlett rested her forehead against my cheek. “Thank you, William. We needed this. After all the hell that woman has put us through, we deserve something good to come of this.”
His eyes traveled from me to where my arm wrapped around Scarlett. “You did,” he said, nodding. “I’m glad that I was able to give it to you. I’ll see you both in the morning.”
He turned to leave, but grinned at me before going. It made me chuckle to see him in such a good mood. I shut the door behind him and picked Scarlett up in my arms. She peppered my face with kisses and giggled when I tossed her onto the bed. We were going to be celebrating all night long.
Scarlett had a little smile on her face. It was the one she always wore when she had a secret. I reached over and stole a bite of her eggs, and she smacked at my hand playfully. It overjoyed me that she used every little excuse to touch me because I was doing the same thing. Seeing Scarlett this happy every day had become one of my main goals in life. This woman deserved everything that I could give her, and I was going to make damn sure her happiness was at the top of my list.
I took a sip of my coffee and pushed my plate away. She shook her head as I crooked my finger at her. It didn’t take much for me to grab her out of her chair and onto my lap. She pulled her plate over and fed me a bite of her toast. For once, we were acting like the newlyweds we were.
When I noticed Jade standing in the doorway with a disgusted look on her face, I knew this was what I’d been waiting for. She was manipulative and wouldn’t go away so easily, especially when she didn’t win. As I studied her, I wondered what in the hell I’d been thinking when I married her in the first place. She was beautiful, but she wasn’t nearly as gorgeous as Scarlett—inside or out.
“You two are absolutely sickening,” she finally said.
Scarlett looked up and narrowed her eyes at Jade. I squeezed her thigh to keep her in place.
“How did you get in here?” I asked calmly.
She huffed a humorless laugh. “Did you really think I couldn’t get into the palace if I wanted? I am your wife, after all.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Ex-wife. And according to the state records, we weren’t married at all.” I cocked my head to the side. “I think a few guards are getting fired today. Why are you even here? Last night, the deacons denied your claims that my marriage to Scarlett wasn’t real. It’s over. You’ve lost, Jade.”
The smug look on her face should’ve concerned me, but I already knew her games. We’d been married long enough for me to expect whatever bomb was coming next. Scarlett tensed in my arms and I squeezed her hip again.
“What do you think the people would think if their king wasn’t the legitimate heir to the throne? There might be a rebellion. Everyone is already stirred up over your uncle’s death. It would be just awful if something like that happened to be leaked to the press.”
Scarlett launched herself at Jade before I could grab her. “You stupid bitch! What the hell is wrong with you?” she screeched. I grabbed at her waist and pulled her back into my chest before she was able to touch Jade. She struggled against my arms, but didn’t attempt to break out of my hold. “Haven’t you ruined enough of his life yet? He’s over you and he wants me, so back the fuck up—”
Jade threw her hands in the air. “I’m supposed to be the one with the crown on my head, not you, you stupid little ungrateful—”
“Jade, I’d suggest you stop before I really get mad,” I cut her off. My jaw twitched as I attempted to rein in my temper. “Don’t insult or threaten my wife. She is the Queen of Warington after all, and that can be considered treason.”
William came running into the dining room and glanced between the three of us. “I heard yelling.” He sighed. “I don’t know how she got in here, but I’ll take care of it.”
I nodded once. Scarlett growled under her breath and I laughed. She turned in my arms and gave me a dirty look, which made me laugh even harder.
“Easy, tiger,” I said to her. She narrowed her eyes at me and squealed as I tossed her over my shoulder, making my way towards the stairs. We still had a few hours before our interviews, and I planned to make the most of the time we had left by making love to my wife.
“Damn it, Carrick. Put me down.”
As I glanced over my shoulder, I saw William leading Jade out of the dining room. She watched in confusion as I playfully swatted at Scarlett’s ass. She yelped once and then started giggling again. Jade and I had never had this kind of relationship. The sharp pinch on my ass made me laugh again. I definitely wasn’t going to waste time making sure my ex-wife was out of the castle when I had my gorgeous, playful wife over my shoulder. William would handle it. I could make heads roll later.
Chapter 11
Scarlett
I bounced on Carrick’s shoulder as he walked up the steps. He smacked my butt again as I tried to shift, so his shoulder wasn’t digging into my stomach, and I yelped. When he walked up the last step, I reached down and pinched his firm ass again. Man, you really could bounce quarters off the thing.
“Scarlett,” he said in warning. “If you don’t stop, I’m going to fuck you right here in the hallway, where everyone can see. Remember how that worked out last time.”
I pouted. “It was Ava, not one of the staff, that caught us.”
He chuckled and I wanted to punch him in the kidney. If I could get the right angle, I probably would. Our bedroom door slammed behind us, closing out the rest of the world. I groaned as he bounced me up and down on his shoulder once more, just to make his point. He flipped me over and down onto the bed, and I grinned up at him as he crawled over me, caging me under his muscled chest. The breathtaking smile on his face made me almost giddy.
Carrick made me feel again. As much as it scared me, I felt happy and hopeful for the first time in years. None of the drugs and alcohol ever made me as happy or feel as safe as the love and attention Carrick showered me with. I finally felt like I wasn’t the cause of that horrible accident. He wanted me in his life and trusted my opinions, which was a completely foreign feeling to me. We were still figuring each other out as a couple, but somehow, I instinctively knew we would be just fine.
He leaned down and kissed me softly. “You told off my ex-wife.”
I smiled back at him and ran my fingers through his hair. “I did. She was trying to threaten you with lies. No one threatens my husband and gets away with it.”
“How did you know it was a lie?”
I rolled m
y eyes. “All you Trudeau men are tall, dark, and handsome. Plus, you look exactly like your uncle. I’ve seen pictures of your dad. All three of you definitely come from the same family tree.”
He tangled his fingers in my hair and pressed his forehead to mine. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I asked, cocking my head to the side, studying him.
“Trusting me.”
I rested my hand on his chest, over his heart. “You’re welcome, but I’m the one that should be thanking you.” I sighed. “Let’s get real here; I’m never going to be a good queen, but you still chose me. I’m too broken to actually make a go at this. Everyone is going to see through the cracks I’m trying to hide. In the end, you might think Jade was the right choice.”
He sat up and glared at me. “Haven’t you realized yet that I’m not exactly the king that most people would choose either? I was an addict for years. The press has filmed me drunk, high, and completely incoherent, but I cleaned myself up because I knew that I didn’t want to be that person anymore. Jade wrecked me. She lied about being pregnant with my child and cheated on me almost the entire time we were married because she’s a horrible person. Scarlett, just because she can make nice in front of a camera does not mean she would make a good queen.”
I bit down on my bottom lip. “I didn’t know that, but I do know that your people love you.”
“I don’t give a fuck about social ideals and what people think you should or shouldn’t be. You’re going to be an amazing queen. We just have to do our best to make sure you are ready for the responsibility. I tried to wait for you to come to me, and I’m sorry I had to rush everything, but I want to have a happy life with you, Scarlett.”
Why was this man so damn sweet one second and absolutely infuriating the next?
He paused. “Also, what do you mean, you know that the people love me?”
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