“I didn’t mean say it to me!” She laughed and made one final lunge for the small leather folder that sent her sprawling across my thighs.
Snaring her waist with my left arm, I set her upright again, tucked firmly against my side. “Hey. Enough. You’re gonna knock those candles off the table and set us on fire.”
She stopped struggling, but I didn’t let her go.
Our eyes locked. We were practically nose to nose. I could see the quick rise and fall of her chest. One easy slant of my head, and I’d know the taste of bourbon and cherries on her lips. If it were any other night, any other circumstance, any other girl, I’d have kissed her.
But it was April, and I couldn’t.
Tonight was my opportunity to do the right thing, be a better man—the kind of man my sister thought I was. Maybe I had been a selfish asshole back then, but I didn’t have to keep fucking up this friendship. April mattered to me, and I needed to act like it this time.
I released her from my grip and took my wallet from my back pocket. “Let me get this paid. They’re probably ready to get rid of us by now.”
“Okay.” She put a little distance between us and felt around beneath the table for her shoes. “Thanks for dinner.”
“You’re welcome.”
The vibe between us shifted toward politeness, and I was both relieved and disappointed.
When the bill was settled, we walked into the inn’s lobby, where April called goodnight to the woman at the front desk. I held the huge glass door open for her, and once outside, she tipped her head back and took a few deep breaths of cool night air. “Whoa, I’m dizzy. I’m definitely not used to bourbon.”
“It’s potent stuff.”
“I think I’m going to sleep at my parents’ house tonight. I definitely can’t drive.”
“Let me take you home. I don’t mind driving you—and no detours. I promise.”
She smiled at me. “I trust you. But I’d have to figure out how I’m going to get back here in the morning. I have to work.”
“I’ll come pick you up and bring you here. Whatever time you want,” I said, thinking she should not trust me at all.
“Stop it. You’re busy tomorrow.”
“I’m not too busy to help you.”
She sighed. “I would like to sleep in my own bed. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“I’m positive.” I took her arm and started leading her toward my rental. “And driving you around doesn’t begin to make up for all the nice things you’ve done for me.”
When I said it, I’d been thinking of all the homework help, but as soon as the words were out of my mouth, it occurred to me how small that stuff was compared to her willingness to handle the adoption on her own and leave me out of it. Without a doubt, that had to be the single kindest thing anyone had ever done for me my entire life. It had allowed me to chase my dreams without guilt, without responsibility, without the inconvenience or distraction of a media shitstorm. I’d never even had to tell my father. I’d gotten off completely scot-free. And April . . . she’d weathered that massive storm on her own. For me.
Jesus, how had it taken me eighteen years to think of it that way? And how could I show her how much I appreciated it?
You can start by keeping your hands, your mouth, and your dick to yourself.
Immediately, I let go of her arm. “I’m over there. The black SUV.”
As I drove down the long, winding driveway leading from Cloverleigh Farms back onto the main road, April gave me directions to her condo. When I turned into the lot of her complex, she pointed to a row of townhouses over to the left. “I’m over there. The one on the far end. You can use the spot right in front—that’s mine.”
I pulled up in front of her place, where she slept alone but didn’t want to, and wished more than anything I could go in with her. Treat her right this time. Show her I wasn’t selfish. I’d undress her all the way this time, slowly. I’d use my tongue and my hands. I’d tell her how beautiful she was. I’d spend all night long making her come.
Oh, and I’d fucking wear a condom. Maybe two.
Don’t you dare, asshole. You stay on your side of this vehicle and you let her get out of the car. You’re not even allowed to walk her to the door, got it? You will remain in your seat with your seatbelt fastened.
“Thanks for the ride,” April said as I put the SUV in park. “And for the food and drinks. This was really fun.”
“It was.” Get inside, April. Now.
“And it’s so good to see you.”
“You too.” But you need to get out of my sight this minute.
“We should have done this sooner. It wasn’t nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be.”
I laughed nervously, gripping the steering wheel tightly with both hands. “Yeah.”
“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” She opened the door, and I put a hand on her leg.
“April, wait.”
Eight
April
I hesitated, staring at his hand on my thigh.
“Shut the door,” he said.
Confused, I pulled the door shut. “What is it?”
“I don’t know.” He looked at his hand on my leg too. “I just know that I don’t want you to go.”
My heart began to beat faster. “Tyler.”
He took his hand away. “I’m sorry. I know I have no right to touch you.”
“It’s not that.”
“For the last hour, I’ve been telling myself to be a gentleman. That this is an opportunity to do right by you. A chance to be a good guy.”
“You are a good guy.”
His eyes seared mine in the dark. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew what I was thinking right now.”
My stomach whooshed. “Why don’t you tell me and let me decide for myself?”
“Christ, April,” he said through clenched teeth. “Don’t say those things to me.”
“Why not?”
“Because I promised you there would be no detours. Because you’ve been drinking. Because I told my sister I’d be nice tonight.”
I laughed. “You have been nice.”
“Yeah, well, it hasn’t been easy.”
It struck me what he’d said a moment ago. “You told Sadie you were seeing me tonight?”
“Actually . . .” He paused. “I told her everything.”
“What do you mean, everything?”
“I told her. What happened with us. I’m sorry if I betrayed your confidence.”
“It’s okay. I trust Sadie.” But I couldn’t believe it—he’d told her about the baby? “What did she say?”
“She was pretty shocked. And she was mad at me.”
“Why?”
He didn’t answer right away. Then he said, “April, I need to ask you a question.”
“Okay.”
He looked over at me. “Did I abandon you?”
“Of course not.”
“Because if I did, I’m sorry.”
“Tyler. Listen to me.” I leaned toward him and spoke quietly, putting my hand on his arm. “What happened was a careless mistake, and God knows I’ve struggled with the fallout, but that’s on me—not you, okay? I think we handled it the best way we could.”
He ran a hand over his jaw. “I thought so too, at the time. But now . . .” His hand fell into his lap. “My sister made me wonder if I’d been totally selfish. When she first said it, I shot the idea down, but it’s been in the back of my head all day.”
Sighing, I took my hand off him and stared straight ahead. “I don’t know, Tyler. I think everyone is selfish at eighteen.”
“You weren’t.”
I almost laughed. “Do you know how often I’ve questioned that? How many nights I lay awake wondering if giving away that baby was the ultimate selfish decision?”
“April, it wasn’t.” His voice was firm. “You did the most selfless thing I can think of, and you did it alone.”
“I wasn’t alone.”
“But I wasn’t there for you like I could have been. Like I should have been. All I cared about was baseball. And I can see how, in my sister’s eyes, it doesn’t seem fair that I walked away so easily. Especially since she’s pregnant now.”
“That’s a really different situation—Sadie and Josh are grown adults who belong together. They have a home together. They’re in love. You and I were two hormonal kids who got carried away in the back of your truck.”
“Yeah.”
“Hey. Look at me.”
He angled his head in my direction.
“I was not a victim, Tyler. I could have said no to sex in the first place. I could have asked you to put on a condom. It was fast, yes, but it wasn’t so fast that I couldn’t have stopped it. You would have stopped if I’d asked, right?”
“Yes. I would have.”
“And I knew it. The truth is, I didn’t want you to stop.” I wasn’t sure whether it was the bourbon or the dark interior of the car or the years of keeping that night a secret that was loosening my tongue, but it was a relief to say the words out loud. “It felt so good to be wanted that way—by you. You’d never looked at me like that before. Deep down, I had always wanted you to, but I was too scared to admit it. And you were leaving the next day, so it felt like my last chance . . . I wanted that chance, so I took it.”
“That’s how I felt too. I’d wanted you for a long time, but I’d told myself again and again to keep my hands off you. Then that night, I just lost my grip on control. And I’m not sorry it happened—I’m only sorry about the consequences. But if I could go back, I’d have called and made sure you were okay.” He reached over and took my hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t.”
We were quiet for a moment, studying our fingers laced together.
“Think of it this way,” I said quietly. “We made another family really, really happy.”
He nodded slowly. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Was it a boy or a girl?”
I swallowed, fighting the little lump that had jumped into my throat. “It was a boy. They named him Charles, after his father and grandfather.”
He exhaled. “I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to know.”
“Are you glad now that you do?”
“I’m not sure.”
I laughed gently. “I know all about mixed feelings on this topic, I promise.”
“Was it hard? To give him up?”
“The hardest thing I’ve ever done. But the parents who adopted him were wonderful, and they wanted him so badly. I knew right from the start they were his parents. That helped.”
“Good.”
For a moment, I considered telling him that I’d reached out to Charles’s parents about meeting him, but decided against it. It seemed like too much for one night. I felt like we’d crossed a hugely important bridge—individually and together—and I didn’t want anything to set us back. Besides, he was leaving in three days. It wouldn’t affect him at all, and I could always tell him in the future. Hopefully, we’d stay in touch when he left.
“You know what?” he said.
“What?”
“I decided. I’m glad I know. And I’m glad to hear that he was adopted by wonderful parents who really wanted him. That makes me feel good.”
“Me too.”
We sat in silence for another minute, but it wasn’t awkward. It was . . . nice. Familiar. Comfortable.
Tempting.
“Well, I should go in,” I said, reluctantly taking my hand from his. I loved that he’d reached for it. How long had it been since anyone had taken my hand? Kissed me in the dark? Held me close and whispered all the things he wanted to do to me? And why was I wishing Tyler would do all of those things? Was I that lonely? Or just insane?
“Can I still pick you up tomorrow and drive you to work?” he asked.
“You don’t have to. I could ask Chloe to get me on her way in.”
“I want to. I’ll pick you up about eight, if that works? That way I can still get an early run in.”
“That works. Thanks.” I put my hand on the door handle but didn’t pull it. “And thanks for talking about this with me. I know it’s not easy, but in all honesty, I needed this.”
“You’re welcome.” His eyes held mine. “Now get the fuck inside, April, before I forget I’m the good guy tonight.”
Smiling, I hopped out of the car and slammed the door behind me.
That smile lingered on my lips as I let myself into my condo. As I watched him drive away through my living room window. As I floated upstairs to my bedroom. As I undressed myself, got ready for bed, and slid between the sheets. As I recalled the moment at the restaurant when he’d held me close. As I remembered the way he’d taken my hand in the car. As I heard in my mind his deep, hushed voice asking whether I’d had a boy or a girl.
I was so glad he’d asked. I would have been fine if he hadn’t, but it had been such a relief to acknowledge out loud the piece of my past I constantly carried around with me but could never discuss. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
And speaking of shoulders . . . I closed my eyes and pictured Tyler’s body, imagining what it might look like naked. The broad chest. The sculpted arms. The solid abs. The night we’d been together, everything had been so fast and furtive and threaded with fear—Would we get caught? Would I bleed? Would he guess that I’d never done it before? Would he stop? Was this going to hurt? Was I supposed to make noise or be quiet?—that my memories had taken on a blurry, unreal quality. More like a movie than a life experience.
I only recalled two things with any clarity—the moment he reached over and touched my hair, and the way he said, “Come here.” A second later, his lips were on mine and I was in heaven.
God, I wished he’d kissed me goodnight.
Was I losing my mind?
I mean, what would be the point of messing around with him? Nothing could come of it. He was only in town for the wedding. He lived all the way across the country. He wasn’t interested in a relationship. And our history was all kinds of complicated.
But . . . it hadn’t felt complicated tonight.
Being with him had actually felt easy, just the way it used to. Easier than it had ever felt with any other guy, because I didn’t have to hide anything. And I was proud of us. We’d managed to tread softly through a landmine of emotional baggage and come out the other side hand in hand.
He still made me laugh. He still had that cocky grin that made me want to take him down a notch. He still had the biceps, but now he had maturity too, the kind that comes with age and life experience and finally learning that life doesn’t always go the way you planned.
Sighing, I hugged my pillow.
Good thing he was a gentleman.
The next morning, I woke up at six-thirty and got in the shower, humming a tune and wondering if Tyler would have time for breakfast before running me up to Cloverleigh. I decided to text him and ask.
Me: Hey. How was your run? Do you have time for breakfast?
Tyler: You caught me. I skipped the early run and slept in. Totally down for breakfast.
Me: I know a great spot. See you at eight.
Since I wouldn’t have time to come home before Sadie’s rehearsal, I dressed a little more formally than usual, in a black and white gingham pencil skirt, black blouse, and heels. My hair still held some of its Beyoncé waves, but I knew it would be a busy day, so I tied it back in a ponytail, leaving just a few pieces loose around my face.
A few minutes before eight, I heard his knock. I raced down the steps to answer it, but when I hit the landing I made myself slow down, take a breath, chill. When my heart stopped pounding so fast, I opened the door.
Seeing Tyler on my doorstep made my pulse spike right back up again. He was dressed casually—jeans, sneakers, and a navy zip-up sweatshirt—and he hadn’t shaved. But the smile was what got to me.
“Morning,” he said, his eyes travel
ing over my outfit. “Damn. You look awesome. I’m a little underdressed.”
I laughed. “You’re fine. Thanks for coming to get me.”
“No problem. You ready?” He glanced over his shoulder. “I think it might rain soon, so if we don’t want to get soaked, we should move.”
I nodded. “Let me just grab my purse. Want to come in for a sec?”
“Sure.” He shut the door behind himself and looked around. “I like your place.”
“Thanks.” I moved toward my kitchen and dining area, which was open to the living room. From the counter I grabbed my keys and phone, tucking them into my purse.
He wandered toward the fireplace and studied the framed photographs on the mantel. “Whose wedding is this?”
“My youngest sister, Frannie’s.”
“She was a friend of Sadie’s, right?”
“Yes. She still is.”
“I feel like I recognize the groom too.”
“You probably do—he was two years ahead of us in school, and he played baseball. Declan MacAllister. Goes by Mack.”
“Oh, right.” He took the frame off the shelf and looked more closely. “Outfielder. Good arm.”
I walked over and stood beside him. “They got married last fall. He’s actually the CFO at Cloverleigh Farms. He had three daughters from a previous marriage—that’s who those young girls are.”
“Wow. Three girls.” He set the photo back on the mantel.
I laughed. “She’s trying to convince him to have more.”
“He’s probably a great dad.”
“He is.” I threw my bag over my shoulder. “Okay, ready to go.”
Outside, the sky was completely overcast and the air was slightly humid. Off to the west, I could see dark gray clouds moving toward us and knew Tyler was right about the rain coming. He unlocked the passenger door and opened it for me.
“Thanks,” I said as I climbed in. “The place I want to take you for breakfast is Frannie’s pastry shop. But they have eggs and sandwiches and all kinds of things. Plus, the coffee is amazing.”
“Sounds good. Just tell me how to get there.”
Once he was behind the wheel, I gave him directions and he nodded, but I could tell he was distracted by something. He leaned toward the driver’s side door, elbow on the window, hand rubbing his jaw.
Unforgettable: A Small Town Second Chance Sports Romance Page 8
