But…Carlos wasn’t that stupid. The man had left Casey in the freezer as a warning to both her and Jesse. That had to be it. That’s why Carlos had texted Jesse to let him know where Casey was. He wanted him to find her before it was too late. Still it was a huge risk on his part. Casey could have died, or she could have insisted on reporting the incident to the police. Even Jesse had come very close to getting backup from his fellow ICE agents in order to save her. He’d texted for them to stand down once he found her.
Not wanting to stay here one minute longer than necessary, Jesse busied himself with making Casey something to eat. That would warm her and give her energy, and maybe she could think more clearly.
What Jesse didn’t know was how much longer he could keep Casey in the dark.
She wanted to set a trap? Could he keep her out of trouble just one more day?
He was walking a shaky precipice between keeping her safe and doing his job—one wrong step and they could both die. She meant far more to him than this job, but if he could keep her safe and out of harm’s way for only a little longer…
Jesse liked to think his many skills included whipping up a mean dish of pasta. But tonight, as he accidentally dumped the entire container of garlic salt into the sauce, he knew his mind was not on the task.
He found another can of tomato paste and started all over. He was glad Casey agreed to stay at her friend’s house and hoped her friend would agree to have her. Of course, then they ran the risk of involving yet another person in Casey’s drama.
Jesse grabbed the cup of hot cocoa he’d made. He strolled down the corridor to find Casey. Standing next to the closed door, he didn’t want to disturb her privacy, but he needed to know she was all right and deliver the warm drink.
He gave a light rap with his knuckles. “How are you doing in there? The pasta’s almost ready.”
The door whipped open. Dressed in a lavender sweater and blue jeans, Casey smiled up at him, looking more beautiful than he’d ever seen, but with a distant wariness in her eyes.
His mind went blank. Why had he knocked on her door?
“Oh, is that for me?” she asked, and took the mug of hot chocolate from him.
“Yeah.” He stared down into her eyes. At that moment, the events of the day seemed to crash down on him, almost crushing his heart. He cared far too much for this woman. Almost losing her today brought his long-ignored feelings to the forefront.
“Come here,” he said. Mindful of the hot chocolate, he pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips against hers.
A tiny groan escaped her throat as she melted into him.
Oh, Casey, I think I love you…
A noise from the kitchen startled him, and he ended the kiss. “Uh, I think the pasta is boiling over.”
Leaving her behind, he hurried back to the kitchen. After pouring the water off and mixing the sauce in, Jesse fixed Casey a bowl and found her sitting snug on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket.
“Here you go. I hope you’re hungry.”
“Mmm. It smells wonderful.”
Jesse joined her, sitting across from her on the other sofa. They ate in silence for a few minutes, his mind filled with everything he wanted and needed to say. He hadn’t a clue where to begin. He assumed Casey was equally preoccupied.
She finally set her bowl on the coffee table. He frowned when he noticed how little she’d eaten and set his bowl down, too.
Casey rested her head against the sofa back. “This is a very strange ending to a very strange day, don’t you think, Jesse?”
He hated that she was going through this. “Are you feeling warm enough now? Care for a walk on the beach?”
“Are you serious? With that madman out to get me? What am I going to do, Jesse? Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should have gone to the police. This was an actual attempt on my life.”
That was all it took. He had to tell her the truth.
He left the spot where he sat and slid onto the sofa next to her. Casey’s eyes widened but he saw pleasure in their depths, making him want to kiss her again. Making him want to lay his heart on the table.
But…he didn’t know how. Was he even ready to admit how he felt about her to himself?
And he knew, without a doubt, that what he was about to share with her would change everything. McCoffey had made it clear to tell her nothing about this operation, especially in light of her career choice, but he had to find a way to keep her out of harm’s way.
Yeah, right. This freezer incident was the absolute last straw. Jesse saw that now.
But…looking into her eyes, he saw, too, that revealing his true identity now could crush whatever they had between them—it would destroy her trust in him.
Relationships were built on trust and he knew, had always known, that he could never have a relationship while working undercover, living in this role he played.
He slid his hand down her arm. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
In her eyes he saw confusion and hurt and even a flicker of—could it be hope?
“Jesse, what is it?”
Maybe he could take his time telling her the truth, and in those moments he could enjoy what he had with Casey, even in the face of adversity. A walk on the beach could go a long way to calm her frazzled nerves and make it easier for her to hear what he had to say. He hoped.
“Walk with me.” Jesse stood and held his hand out to her.
Casey’s expression was troubled. “Let me grab a jacket.”
When she returned with a jean jacket, looking gorgeous, he wished he’d taken her somewhere nice. He wished tonight’s conversation held a completely different backdrop and tone, rather than Casey’s being in danger. Not wanting a repeat of the last time they’d gone for a walk on the beach, he made sure the alarm was set, then they strolled onto the deck.
Jesse had to tell her everything.
Except, he wasn’t sure he should tell her how deep his feelings were for her, or that he had any.
Focus, man.
Keeping her safe, keeping her alive, was more important than his feelings. If they both made it out of this alive then they might have time to explore a future together.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Casey loved the feel of Jesse’s hands, his fingers intertwined with hers as he led her down the steps and onto the beach, but it seemed surreal. “I had two attempts on my life today, Jesse. Somehow I feel like a walk on the beach is crazy.” She was here only because Jesse had something to tell her.
A salty breeze enveloped her and somehow calmed her. There was maybe half an hour of sunlight left—they could watch the sunset together. But the timing was wrong, all wrong.
“I brought you out here because you’re stressed.” He stopped walking and turned her to face him, the breeze lifting her hair and blowing it from her face.
“Of course I’m stressed. I have no idea how to escape Will Tannin.” The tears pressed against the back of her eyes again. She drew in a breath to stop them. “I want to be strong and fight this, but I don’t know how. Now you’re telling me to relax.”
“Honestly, I hope the guy shows up, because I promise you, when I get my hands on him you’ll never have to worry about him again.”
Casey took a step back. “Well, he was there today and you weren’t. Don’t you see, Jesse, you can’t protect me. Not really. This is all so crazy.”
And what was more crazy? She loved Jesse. She longed to be in his arms. She longed to tell him how she felt about him. If only…if only Tannin—
Jesse took a step forward and grabbed her arms. “Casey, that wasn’t Will Tannin’s doing.”
“What? What are you saying?” How did Jesse know anything about it? “You don’t believe me, either?”
Now that hurt. Of all people, she thought Jesse believed her.
“This was someone else.”
“I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”
“Let’s walk some more.”
Casey oblige
d, strolling next to Jesse, but growing more impatient by the second. “Just tell me what you know about Tannin.”
“I’m not who you think I am,” he said, continuing his walk.
The air grew too thick to breathe, and Casey’s legs seemed to carry her on automatic. “Who are you?” she asked, her voice sounding like she was in a tunnel. Hadn’t she ignored the little niggling about Jesse Dufour—the niggling that something was amiss because she couldn’t find anything about him? The little niggling when he acted so strange at the ice company?
She was in love with a man who wasn’t who he said he was.
Dizziness swept over her. She dropped to the ground and sat in the sand, feeling a heavy weight against her chest.
Jesse plopped next to her. He took her hand. She yanked it free, pain slicing her heart. “Just tell me who you are.”
“I’m an undercover agent, working to bust a crime ring at the ice company.”
Casey lay down, feeling the soft sand against her back. She squeezed her eyes, letting the tears slip down her temples. “That explains a lot. Why you didn’t want me on the loading dock that day. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Don’t you understand? I’m not supposed to tell you now. But you’re in the middle of it. I don’t want to see you get hurt, nor do I want you to keep worrying about Will Tannin. He’s still in Oregon. I’ll deal with him, but one thing at a time.”
“Then why didn’t you just tell me to go away? Shouldn’t I just disappear now? Get out of town? Can’t your agency protect me?”
Jesse heaved a long, hard sigh. Looking up at the few stars beginning to appear, she could see from her peripheral vision his hand against his forehead.
“That would seem like the logical choice, but it’s far more complicated than that. In order to keep you safe, I’m supposed to keep an eye on you—keep you from snooping around for a story because you’re a reporter—this coming from one of the men in the crime ring. Somehow that hasn’t gone right, but I have every intention of correcting it. Then there’s the matter that you’re not even supposed to know what I’m telling you now.”
Casey rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow to look at Jesse, love flooding her heart. “And how can they watch me if I’m not even supposed to know about the operation? Is that it?”
“Actually, there has been someone watching you to protect you, someone other than me.” He glanced over at her with an impish grin, then it turned apologetic. “I’m sorry they failed. But if you leave town, there is Tannin to consider. What if he finds you again?”
“Can’t your people keep protecting me?”
Jesse shook his head. “Not officially. It’s not what we do. That’s a matter for the police. That’s why I think it’s best if you stay with your friend for a few nights, just until this whole thing blows over.”
“You think I’ll be safe there?”
“I think that’s the best place for you right now. There will be someone keeping watch over you, but Casey, promise me you won’t say a word about any of this. If you do, you could blow everything I’ve spent months working for. If you do, you could get us both killed. Do you understand?”
“I think so, yes.” The cool earth seeping into her bones, Casey got on her knees to stand. Jesse beat her to it.
“You must be getting cold out here. I’m sorry, I just wanted to be free of the house for this conversation.”
Jesse helped Casey to her feet. Now that she knew the truth about him, everything made sense. And somehow, knowing that Tannin wasn’t after her at the moment eased her mind. Jesse would take care of everything else.
He was a good guy, just as she’d reassured herself in the beginning.
“You really are a hero,” she said.
Casey searched his eyes, and what she saw took her breath away. Just like she wanted and longed for, he tugged her into his arms again and kissed her.
Thoroughly.
Warmth flooded her, chipping away at any remaining chill she felt from the freezer, deep down to the marrow of her soul. Waves caressing the beach sounded miles away. She wanted to tell him what was on her mind, in her heart.
I love you.
Not yet. She needed to hear him say the words first, if he even cared for her that much.
“Oh, Casey,” Jesse murmured. “I was so afraid I would lose you with the truth.” He deepened the kiss.
But wait…
Casey untangled herself from Jesse, startling herself with the abrupt move. Jesse looked torn. Stunned.
“Why did you say you wanted to talk about this away from my uncle’s house?”
Jesse looked a little dazed and frowned.
“It’s been all about my uncle’s house from the beginning, hasn’t it? The intruder wasn’t necessarily after me, was he? What does my uncle—”
“Casey, Casey—” Jesse held out his hands “—you’re getting way ahead of yourself. Just let me answer.”
“I’m listening.”
“Yes, we believe your uncle could be involved. It’s part of my job to determine the players.”
Casey closed her eyes, thinking of Jesse and Miguel. “And Miguel?”
“Look, Casey, the less you know, the better.”
“And Miguel?” she asked, louder now.
When she opened her eyes, Jesse was staring at her. His silent answer was enough. A vice squeezed her lungs. Miguel and Jesse were close; she’d seen it with her own eyes.
“You are using me to get into my uncle’s house, to get close to him when he returns. You act like you care when you don’t. It’s all about your job, isn’t it, Jesse?”
“That’s not—”
“You’re using me, just like you’ve used Miguel.”
Anger and hurt wrapped around her heart at the same time. Casey turned her back to Jesse, wanting to get as far away from him as possible.
* * *
Casey ran away from Jesse, taking his heart with her.
Taking his hopes…
God in heaven, I need Your help!
She headed down the beach and in the direction of the house. He sprinted after her, knowing that he would catch her.
And then what?
How could he have made such a mess of things? How could he make her understand?
Casey glanced behind her and when she saw him, she ran even faster. Should he chase her? Or let her go?
But she was in danger. He had to make sure she didn’t do something crazy.
Breathing hard, Jesse caught up and reached for her. She stumbled and fell forward.
Jesse caught her, saving her from a nasty fall, and whirled her to face him, careful he didn’t hurt her. “Please, you have to believe me, no matter what things look like to you, I…”
Her eyes flooded with tears, and she fought to free herself from him, but he held on. He had to make her understand. No matter what else happened.
“Casey, I love you. Can’t you see that?”
For a fleeting moment, Jesse saw hope flash in her eyes before the pain set in.
“Tell me the truth. That night you happened down the beach and saved me from the man checking on the house. Why were you there? Spying on the house? Spying on me?” Questions spewed from her in hot, quick breaths.
“That was never my intention. My only concern for you was and still is your safety.”
“You haven’t answered my question.”
Jesse glanced around. They were near the house now, near the neighbors. The light from the Helmses’ deck showered them now. “If you don’t mind, can you turn the volume down a little? People can hear.”
“Well?” she asked, a little softer, heaving with anger and mistrust.
And hurt…
Oh, man…
He’d blown things with her in a big way. There was no going back.
“Yes, I was watching the house, but when I heard you scream, I had already gone back to my jog. Will you just trust me?”
“You mean like Miguel trusts you?
I saw the bond he has with you, Jesse. Does he know who you really are?”
“Look, I don’t like this any more than you do. The operation will be over soon, if you can just stick with me a little longer.”
“How could you?” Her face contorted with a tsunami of tears. “How could you endear yourself to me like that? Making me feel…”
Jesse’s throat tightened at the possibilities hidden in her words. He took a step toward her, his face near hers.
“What, Casey?” He searched her eyes. “What do I make you feel?”
“Nothing.” Her gaze focused on something behind him. “I feel nothing for you.”
He didn’t believe her. But it didn’t matter. Something cold and hard wrapped around Jesse’s heart. He was all business now, like he should have been from the beginning.
“Casey, this isn’t about feelings, it’s about your life and mine. It’s about busting a ring of criminals who committed a murder, among other crimes.” Jesse could hardly stand to look at her, knowing he sounded cold and professional. He shoved a hand through his hair.
She took a step back and folded her arms, but said nothing.
“I’ll help you pack what you need and escort you to your friend’s home. There will be someone watching over you. Maybe you can even call in sick for a few days until this is over.”
She sniffled. “I don’t believe you about my uncle, you know? I’m going to prove you wrong.”
“You just don’t get it, do you? Lives mean nothing when millions of dollars are at stake. You go nosing around, and you’ll get both of us killed.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Inside the beach house, Jesse paced the living room and waited for Casey to pack. Fuming at Casey, fuming at himself, he tried to ignore the gaping hole in his heart.
If he looked too hard, he’d see that he was bleeding all over the place. Funny how his desperate need to keep anyone from getting hurt during his undercover assignment ended up hurting that person in an entirely different way.
And he was hurting, too. Casey had been a distraction from the beginning, and it could cost them both. He swiped a hand down his face. Somehow he had to shrug off the crazy way she made his heart pound, his crazy need to be with her, to kiss her and hold her.
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