by Scott, Eliot
Last night, Alex told me he’d spoken with May before the wedding. He also told me that May didn’t deny murdering his father, and he admitted that he was maybe okay with his mother’s actions, if they were true. I admitted that I also was okay with it, and then for an entire hour we stared up at the stars questioning ourselves, asking if we were now bad people.
Alex and I never came to a final answer to that question. Good or bad, we both felt how we felt about Michael Sinclair being dead.
Good. Safe. Justified. And as always…somehow, sad.
As for May? As much as I have cursed that woman for never standing up for Alex, somehow the knowledge that she is aware we’re married now—and that maybe she did kill Michael Sinclair to finally save her sons from more future torture—all oddly puts my heart at ease.
Alex also said he was worried about her. He said she seemed a little scattered and paranoid yesterday and maybe was starting to break, like some sort of PTSD as she grapples with no longer being tied to his father. He said she looked and acted so strangely yesterday, and he also cautioned me to still treat her as a threat. Until he can know anything for certain, and at least until our business is settled with Grady, I promised I would be cautious.
We both agreed to leave our suspicions about Michael Sinclair’s murderer alone, and we also decided to give May time. We would leave town without engaging her at all and simply wait. Time heals all, people say, and in the case of poor May, I hope the saying can be as true for her as it will be for me and Alex.
I’m so focused on Alex’s phone call that when he starts nodding at me and mouthing the word “Grady” along with giving me a huge thumbs up, I rest at ease and turn my attention to the water below. Even with our splashing, the fish have gathered close. Nothing big like when you sneak up on them. These are Olympic Mudminnows, fish we could use to catch other fish. Emily would love them. I follow one that’s darting close to us, and I memorize his pattern, the way he kisses at the stones nearby and avoids the others. I hold my breath and grin a second before my hands plunge into the water, cupping the creature and bringing his little, flailing body up in my palms.
“You caught him! Show me! Show me!” Emily jumps on her toes, so I kneel lower to give her a view of the fish. It’s so tiny I’m able to dip my palms back down into the water, providing it a small pool so he can breathe easily.
“That’s how your mom used to catch all of the fish.” Alex is suddenly behind me.
“Mom, you’re amazing!” My chest swells hearing my daughter praise me.
“Yes, she is,” Alex echoes, and my heart pumps even more.
I let the fish go gently then let Emily try to catch some on her own, making her promise to stay within my reach.
“Grady accepted my offer,” Alex says as soon as our eyes meet. As if I’ve been holding my breath for days, I exhale heavily and fall into his hug.
“Of course he did,” I say, quivering with relief. “Oh my God…that’s it then. You sign it all over and we’re free to just walk away from here.”
“Yes. We’re free.” His eyes move to the horizon.
“No regrets, right?” I ask.
“None.”
I stand in his arms, swaying side-to-side and relishing this feeling while Emily splashes around our legs, driving fish away with her loud and unabashed style. We both begin to laugh, and our daughter gives up on fishing and runs wild up the shore pathway where her barking puppy has raced up the hill.
Alex and I rush up the shore after her, and soon Aunt Shelly joins in when the puppy rushes off with one of her flip-flops.
It’s hard to say how long May was standing on the trail, looking down, watching us. We were all so distracted with our own happiness that we simply never saw her. Nobody expected her to be there.
“Hello. Who are you?” I hear Emily ask. My throat goes dry with panic as I try to speed up my pace without looking scary or hysterical, because that’s how I feel.
“I—only just heard about you so I had to come see for myself. I’m your Grandmother. Your daddy’s mother,” she says, her eyes fixed wide and glazed on Emily.
As I get closer, I try to analyze May’s face. Like Alex said, she doesn’t look right. Her hair is all askew, which is not like her at all. She’s never the kind to let one strand out of place, and I could swear to God that under her makeup she’s got...dirt? Or…bruises? Grady has carried on the abuse.
My heart starts to pound wildly and the tips of my fingers grow numb from wanting to snatch Emily away from the woman, while fear crawls up my veins, my neck, my throat, until I can’t speak.
“Alex!” His name finally bursts from my lungs. I don’t dare take my eyes off of my daughter, who is stopped halfway between me and the woman who has been stalking me—us. I’m sure it’s only seconds but it feels like an eternity before his voice calls back in response and his weight is behind me.
“Emily, come here love.” He calls out to her, stepping in front of me.
Our daughter, ever fearless, doesn’t listen.
“This is my grandmother, Daddy,” she calls back, voice full of wonder and joy. “I didn’t even know I had a grandmother and I always wanted one; did you know that?”
Her steps aren’t even cautious as her head tilts and she moves closer to get a better look at this woman who I have desperately tried to keep a mystery to her.
“You have eyes just like me and daddy,” Emily says to May.
“Yes,” May chokes out. “Exactly.” May’s body shakes once, a gulp falling from her lips as her eyes begin to gloss with tears.
“We are really a big family now,” Emily says, stepping closer and reaching out her hand. Alex’s entire body grows tense.
I don’t know why I do it—why this sudden feeling of hope and trust takes hold of me—but I jut my arm out to the side halting him and I whisper, “wait.”
Emily reaches out more until May’s hand lifts and connects with hers—fingertips pressed together as if they’re looking through a mirror.
“I’m so happy to meet you…”
“My name’s Emily,” my daughter helps her finish the sentence.
“Emily,” May repeats, her lips shivering like she might cry.
“And I can call you Granny. Or Gran. Or Nana. That’s what my friend calls her grandmother. Nana. It sounds really nice to me—Nana.”
“Does it? Then you may call me Nana, if you’d like to,” May whispers out.
“I’d like to. Nana.” Emily shouts the word gleefully, unaware of every bad implication of this relationship. She only sees the good, and so she flings herself into May’s arms and gives her a hug. “My Nana!”
When May flicks her gaze to me and Alex, I can read the wonder and sweetness in her expression. It’s like Emily is such a surprise to her—like she’d never thought she would have this. As her arms go around Emily’s slight form, I can almost hear her processing it all. That she has a granddaughter. One that loves her unconditionally. A child that came to her as a surprise, but that is very much like her. A child that appeared without rules and constrictions applied to how May’s supposed to treat her. A child with no threats or dangers already hung over her head, coming from a husband who would dictate just how much May was allowed to love.
Please let Emily change her—heal her, I think and I pray. Please let this be okay.
“She’s beautiful,” May says as Emily steps out of the hug, and her hands go over Emily’s long curls. Our daughter slips her hand into May’s and holds it tight, beaming at all of us. It’s the smallest gesture, and I’m watching May’s face as it melts and then seems to crumple as the softness in her face returns to hard.
“Emily.” I call out, my voice stern. “Can you go chase after Ajax and put him in the house? He’s running away, and you know Aunt Shelly can’t run as fast as you.”
Alex, who must have noticed what I did, steps in quickly, his hand grabbing our daughter’s away from May’s. He lifts her away from what still feels like a warning and s
ends her down the pathway to where Shelly’s been watching everything unfold.
“Okay! Be right back, Nana. She should stay for dinner. Stay and play!” Emily grins back over her shoulder at her new-found grandmother then skips off down the pathway.
I share a glance and a nod with Shelly that communicates “get Emily inside, and do not let her come back out of the house.” Shelly nods back, understanding.
“I’m happy I met her, Alex, but something like this—like a daughter—should not have been kept secret. If I had known, I could have done…something. Don’t you see? I could have tried to…maybe…somehow…” May starts crying.
“I only just found out about her myself, Mother,” Alex answers gently, his tone somewhere between sorry and cautious.
“I didn’t tell him. Not anyone,” I add, saddened at May’s complete and obvious upset over this.
“But my husband—he—” she whispers through tears.
“Let’s not bring him up, Mom. I would like to think that Father would have softened about her, just how you did.”
May shakes her head, because we all know Michael Sinclair would not have softened over Emily. Not one bit. May goes on muttering, “I just realized he probably knew all along—which is why—oh, God. And now there’s not time…”
“Mother.” Alex steps forward. “There is time. All of the time in the world. You will get to know her and she you. You’re her Nana now. We won’t keep her from you. I promise you that.”
“No.” May shakes her head, and I see her hands trembling wildly. “There’s not time, and it’s still very dangerous for you, Alex. More than I thought. The business—the oil.” She points at the lake. “And the water. What you did Alex. What you did—the secrets you kept from all of us for so long. It’s so huge. It’s too much, and he’s really, really angry.”
That irrational panic that Alex told me May had displayed before starts to become apparent. She’s twisting her hands in front of her and her eyes are darting around the landscape as if she’s waiting for a bad guy to pop out from hiding and shove her in a van or something. “I need you to go now. I need you to take that little girl right now, in your car, and drive away from here. Fast.”
“We’re just waiting to finalize things with Grady,” Alex explains. “He finally called me, and we plan to settle things tonight. I’m giving him the oil and the water, and even this damn house if he wants it. And by the weekend, we’ll be gone from here. It’s going to be fine. All is falling into place.”
“Grady…he’s not to be trusted. I tried to get through to him, but you need to watch your back with him, Alex. He has always followed your father’s plans—always been trying to screw you over, but you know that, don’t you?”
I know Alex spoke to her about our plans, about giving Grady what he wants so we can be free to leave. This is the first I’ve heard about him giving away the lake house, but fine. If that’s what it takes, then fine. I don’t care. Alex and I will find another lake to love. But May’s making it sound as if we need to flee impending doom—today. My convictions and suspicions about May murdering Mr. Sinclair fall away. This frightened, scattered woman doesn’t seem capable of shooting her husband in broad daylight. She doesn’t seem capable of holding a gun in her hand at all, and I start to wonder if she’s not warning us away from Grady. Because how else would May have gotten bruises?
She seems terrified, and my mind immediately goes to thoughts of her being afraid of Grady hurting Alex. Does she foresee him betraying Alex in the middle of this deal they’re meant to sign? My chest floods with panic. Like father like son; is that what’s going on?
“Yes, Mother. I know that, and I don’t care this time. I mean to sign everything he puts in front of me. I won’t fight him on any of it.”
“You don’t have time for that—for deals and paperwork. You have to leave—today, Alex.” May locks gazes with me, pleading. “All of you, Jojo. Today.”
Her cell phone buzzes in her pocket, and her eyes grow wild as she pulls it out and hangs up on whomever was calling her. “I have to go or there will be more trouble. I’m so happy I got to meet Emily. Please tell her I said goodbye. Tell her I’ll try to make this better, but between us, I don’t think I can,” she whispers out, crying openly now as she backs away. “I’m sorry, Alex. I’m so sorry. I didn’t understand…”
Alex reaches for his mom again, but she turns and heads toward where she’s parked her car in the upper driveway.
“Do you think she’s going to be okay? Did you see her bruises?” I’m hoping Alex will somehow be able to explain it away for me.
“Yes,” he says, staring at her back as she rushes away.
“And do you think—?”
“Grady. The motherfucker. I will draw up a new contract that says he’s not allowed to touch her or interact with her ever again, or the deal is off.” Alex’s breathing has grown rapid and angry, his body boiling.
“Do you think you can do that? Keep him away from her?”
“Why not? It’s only one more person he has to avoid. I think he’ll avoid the world if he gets all of the riches,” Alex answers with complete confidence, as mine slips away more. But I don’t shout out what my mind, and a new wave of paranoia, is screaming at me. Is all of this just for show? Is Grady going to hurt Alex, and May, and me and Emily? Are we walking into a trap? Are we being stupid? Now that May’s seen Emily, why do I feel so afraid, more afraid than ever before?
Alex shakes his head, sighing. “This has to be some sort of PTSD Mother’s having. I will get her to see a therapist before we go away. She needs to talk to someone. Maybe some antidepressants? Hell, I don’t know, CBD or pot or whatever…but she’s not okay.”
I let go of her as Alex steps back up to my side and pushes his phone into the damp pocket of his shorts.
“Grady’s texting. He’s ready. He said to meet at my building—at my place.” Alex shows me the phone as the next text comes in from Grady with, “Correction, Bro. Let’s meet at MY NEW PENTHOUSE. I’m going to be moving in today, so bring some duffle bags to take out anything you might want. Tomorrow the lock codes and the keys will be changed.”
Alex smiles at that, breathing in a huge sigh of relief.
“A good sign. He’s obviously all in, right? Guy thinks I’m devastated about giving up that building, but I never even liked that place. Never. Just rehabbed that building and stayed there to please Father. I told him he could even have my clothes in the closet. He loved that idea. Fucking greedy bastard. He always wanted to be me. My suits will never fit his ass.”
His calm and cynicism washes away some of my worries, but only some as my mind swirls with hundreds of new scenarios. There is no way I can trust Grady now. Not after what May said, not after the bruising on her face. I’ve got this huge gut feeling that we need to hide Emily—hide her now until we’ve faced Grady and gotten through this next step.
“I’m coming with you.”
He starts shaking his head, but I keep talking before he can protest more. “Alex, I’m seriously coming with you. We’re going to drive Shelly, Ajax and Emily over to your Father’s hunting cottage where they will stay hidden. I want to give her instructions that if she doesn’t hear from us, she’s to run. In the meantime, Shelly will make it a game. We’ll tell Emily that they’re going to an amazing playhouse, while you and I face down the final dragon together. I’ll make sure you don’t lose your temper—and together, we will get through this. Now that your mom’s seen Emily, you know we can’t leave them here alone without hiding them, and you also know it’s a bad idea to take them all with us.”
“I think you’re overreacting.” He sighs, but when his eyes meet mine, he sees my resolve.
“I think you’re right there with me, Alex. Stop bullshitting me. You’re afraid, too.”
He breathes out again, long and loud, and his mask slips just enough to where I can see I’m right.
“I am,” he grits out. “I want to hide both you and Emily. I want to d
rive the hell away from here just how my mother told us to do. But we need to face Grady. We need to close this properly or we’ll always be looking over our shoulders.”
I nod, satisfied. “I agree. You tell Shelly what’s up, and I’ll go pack up some things for Emily.”
16.
Jojo, Present Day.
I’m glad I came with him.
We could hear Grady talking to himself from Alex’s office the moment we got off the elevator and walked into the foyer. He’s repeating something about how wronged he always is—something about everything being unfair, which makes me think he’s reading through the papers Alex’s lawyers had emailed over. For Grady, everything has always been unfair. This “unjust life” is what fuels him. It used to make me so angry to hear him say it, because he has always been so cruel. But now I see how the monster he is was made. He made terrible choices, but they weren’t all his to make.
I check my phone while Alex makes a big show of coughing and being noisy so as not to surprise Grady. We don’t want to set him off by making him think we were eavesdropping. He loudly knocks on the office door, calling out “Grady?”
I’m relieved when I finally get a text from Aunt Shelly with photos that show how she and Emily are having fun at the Sinclair’s hunting lodge. Alex and I went through the whole place, checking rooms and the outbuildings for signs of May or anything out of the ordinary, but from the looks of the place, it had been closed up for more than five years. Probably the last time Mr. Sinclair had the energy or the time to go hunting.
Shelly’s next batch of texts come in a sort of code her and I developed. She lets me know that she’s put the fruit in the bedroom in case they need snacks. That means she has the gun I sent with her tucked away safely, but ready for an emergency.
Walt is coming to join them because his hunting campsite is only two miles to the south. Shelly says she told him about May and all of her crazy behavior, and he felt it was best that he was with them just in case. Shelly’s as nervous as I am now. I can sense it in her hurried mountain of texts. Walt promised to be there by sunset, which gives me an extra layer of calm.
