Upside Down Inside Out

by Monica McInerney

  He needed to forget about Niamh. Think about Lewis instead. And Kate. He looked at his watch. It was a good time to ring London. He stepped off the train and dialed her number on his mobile. He hoped the battery would last. He hadn’t charged it for a few days.

  “Hello, Kate.”

  “Joseph! How are you? I’ve been thinking so much about you. Is the trip going well?”

  “It’s going fine,” he said briefly. He thought about what a different answer he might have given if he’d spoken to her yesterday. Yesterday he’d felt optimistic, on the verge of something great. As though his life was about to change from black and white into color. Today he felt…Today he just felt like himself again.

  “And where are you? In Sydney still?”

  “No, at the railway station in Melbourne. I’m on my way to see Lewis.”

  “Oh Joseph, I’m so glad. Thank you.”

  “Should I call him, let him know I’m on my way…”

  She interrupted. “No, no you don’t need to do that. I’ll call him for you. He’ll be very pleased to see you, whenever you arrive. I know that.”

  “And is there anything I should know before I meet him?”

  There was a long pause. “Yes, there is a lot you should know. But you shouldn’t hear it from me. It’s time you heard things from Lewis.”

  He was surprised at the depth of feeling in her voice. “What things?”

  “Talk to Lewis, Joseph. Please. And I’ll be thinking about you both, I promise you.”

  “Are you okay?” Her voice sounded odd.

  “I’m fine, I’m fine. And I love you very much. Never forget that, will you?” She hung up before he had a chance to answer.

  Two hundred meters away, Eva was cursing as she drove around and around the short-term carpark. Had everyone in Melbourne decided to catch a train today? To hell with it, she decided. She’d park in the long-term area, pay the extra fee. At least there were spaces there.

  It was a warm night. Humid, even. Eva pulled into a parking space and quickly wound up the window, leaving it open an inch or two to give Rex some fresh air. She peered in at him in his basket in the backseat. He looked back at her, eyes shining through the bars. Poor little fellow. She hoped he wasn’t feeling too uncomfortable. “It was for your own good, Rexie.”

  She locked the car doors and had just turned to go into the station when she stopped again. She couldn’t leave him in that warm car. Lainey would be furious if she heard. She’d be cross enough that Eva had left him alone, but if she cooked him as well? She quickly unlocked the door again.

  “Come on, Rexie, come and see the lovely train.” With the basket in one hand and her handbag and the Bill Bryson book in the other, she headed for the entrance. Now all she had to do was find the right platform. She hoped she’d be in time.

  Back in his cabin, Joseph took out his notebook and tried sketching some more designs. Nothing. The door to his imagination seemed to have locked tight again.

  He stared out the train window. The station was crammed with people. Last-minute passengers running down the platform. People wheeling trolleys piled with luggage. Couples having tearful farewells. Niamh carrying a shopping basket in one hand and what seemed to be his book in the other…

  Niamh?

  He looked again.

  It was Niamh. Peering into each carriage window as if she was looking for someone. Him?

  She drew level with his window. He watched as her face cleared and a smile of relief came over it. She waved the book, then quickly walked out of sight. Seconds later she was at the entrance to his cabin.

  She put the basket on the floor and stepped inside. “Joe, thank God I found you. I was sure the train was about to start moving.”

  He was very surprised to see her. “Why are you here?”

  She paused, then held out the book. “I wanted to return this to you.”

  “Oh. Thank you.” He took one end while she held the other. It was almost as if they were holding hands. She let go first. Then they both spoke at the same time.

  “Joe, I can only guess what Greg said to you…”

  “Niamh, Greg told me…”

  They both stopped. “You first,” he said.

  “No, after you.”

  “Please.” His voice was firm.

  She glanced at the clock on the platform. She was running out of time. “Joe, I don’t know what Greg said to you, but all I know is that you rang to talk to me about going out tonight and the next thing I knew you were going to South Australia. So I’m assuming it was because of something he said.”

  “Niamh, it’s fine. I should have realized you and Greg were a couple.”

  “Me and Greg? Is that what he said? That we’re a couple?”

  Joseph nodded.

  “Oh no, Joe. That’s not true,” she said passionately. “He’s a friend of Lainey’s. My friend Lainey. The one I’m staying with. She needed someone to be at the house while a carpenter came. I only know Greg through Lainey. He’s not even my friend. Not really. Let alone anything else.” She knew she was talking too much but she wanted him to know all the facts.

  “So you didn’t meet him in Ireland last year?”

  “He said that as well?”

  Joseph nodded again.

  “No, I didn’t. I only met him here, in Melbourne, nearly two weeks ago. I can’t believe he said all that. Was there anything else?”

  Joseph paused. “He said you’d been using me to make him jealous.”

  Eva’s face showed her dismay. “Oh Joe. That must have made you feel awful.”

  He gave a ghost of a smile. “Yes, it did, actually.”

  A voice came over the PA system, making them both jump. “Five minutes to departure. Would all non-passengers please leave the train immediately.”

  Eva started talking even more quickly. “Joe, it was all lies, everything Greg said. I don’t know why he said what he did and I wouldn’t go out with him in a million years, I’d much rather go out with—” She blushed and tried again. “Go out to dinner with you.”

  This time he did smile. Properly.

  Since she had gone this far, Eva decided she may as well keep going. “I felt sick when I guessed that he’d done something like this, and I couldn’t let you go without saying good-bye.” She came to a halt, thrown by the look in his eyes. The warmth again. And something else. “I’d better go, you’re about to leave, but I just wanted you to know the truth.” About Greg at least, she realized with a heavy heart. This was hardly the time to tell him the truth about Niamh. She turned to pick up Rex’s basket.

  Behind her Joseph spoke suddenly. “Come with me, Niamh.”

  She spun around. “What?”

  “Come to South Australia with me. Tonight. It’s just an overnight trip.”

  “To South Australia?”

  “You’re on holiday, aren’t you? Do you have to be in Melbourne tonight? Or tomorrow?”

  She thought quickly. Lainey wasn’t coming back for a few more days. Did she need to be in Melbourne? The train was creaking. “No, I don’t. Not really.”

  He spoke quickly. Persuasively. “Then come with me, on the train tonight. I’m just going to South Australia for the day. We could fly back to Melbourne tomorrow night.”

  Go to South Australia just for one day. Fly back?

  “I’ve got thousands of frequent flyer points,” he lied. “Let me cash them in for you. My treat. The train trip as well, I insist.” She needn’t know he didn’t have a frequent flyer point to his name, he couldn’t be bothered with them, but he’d happily buy her a hundred flights and a hundred train tickets if she’d come with him.

  She shook her head. “Joe, I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I haven’t got any clothes. A toothbrush.”

  “I’m sure you could buy a toothbrush on the train. Or in Adelaide. I can loan you a T-shirt tonight if you need it. But you look lovely in that dress. I don’t mind seeing it all day tomorrow as well.”<
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  Eva glanced down at her simple shift dress. He thought she looked lovely in it?

  “Will you come with me?”

  Very, very tempted, Eva was about to nod when she remembered something else. Rex. Down at her feet, he was asleep in the basket.

  The train gave a jolt. “Oh Joe, I’m sorry. Of course I can’t come with you. There’s Rex.”

  “Rex? Another man?”

  Eva laughed and pointed down to the basket. “No. That Rex. Kitten Rex.”

  She had a kitten in there? He’d heard of kitten-heel shoes. But kitten baskets?

  A whistle sounded on the platform. The train gave another jolt and slowly started to move. Joseph felt very light-hearted again. He didn’t care if she had an alligator in that basket. “Great. Bring him too. And then over a bottle of wine you can tell me exactly why you’re carrying a live kitten around Melbourne.”

  “Over a bottle of wine?”

  “In the bar. On this train. Tonight.”

  Eva blinked at him. Was she going completely mad? She couldn’t just jump on a train like this, could she? With a near stranger and a post-surgery cat. Even if it did feel like the most wonderful, stupid thing in the world to do…

  She looked out of the window. The platform had disappeared. The train was moving very quickly. It seemed she didn’t have any choice.

  Joseph had realized the same thing. “Welcome aboard,” he said.

  CHAPTER 26

  The conductor was very put out about his extra passenger.

  As Eva listened to a lecture about the inconvenience to both him and the catering staff of not booking in advance, she thought it was probably just as well he didn’t know about Rex. The kitten and the basket were hidden away in the tiny bathroom in Joseph’s cabin. It had seemed the safest option.

  The conductor hummed and hahed, as he checked the bookings sheet. There were quite a few empty sleeper cabins on the train but he didn’t want them to know that. Yet. He stared at them both, standing in the corridor smiling like two cats that had got the cream. What did they have to be so happy about?

  “So, do you want another cabin or will you be sharing this one?”

  There was a split-second awkward pause, then Eva leaped in. “Oh, another one please.” She felt she should explain why. “We’ve really only just met, you see.”

  They’d only just met but they’d decided to go on an overnight train trip? Why didn’t they just go and have a drink together like normal people? Looking down at his booking sheet one more time, the conductor finally relented. “Well, luckily there does seem to be one empty cabin. Two carriages down. So, cash or credit card?”

  He watched with some bemusement as the couple had a spirited discussion about who would pay. First the English man insisted it was his idea, so he would pay. Then the woman—Scottish, was she, or Irish?—insisted it had been her decision, so she would pay, and she could probably afford it as much if not better than he could. The conductor couldn’t believe his ears. What had happened to the days when women did exactly what they were told? He blamed Germaine Greer.

  Finally the woman agreed to let the man pay as long as he agreed to let her pay for their lunch the next day. And any drinks tonight. The conductor hoped to God this pair would never think about getting married. Their pre-nuptial agreement would take years to sort out.

  He took the credit card and started to write out the ticket. “Name?”

  Eva was on the verge of saying Eva Kennedy when she stopped herself. Oh hell, it would have to be Niamh again. This was certainly no time to break the news to Joe. And the conductor seemed cranky enough as it was. She couldn’t imagine him standing there patiently while she explained about her real name and her real job and her real address…

  Finally it was sorted. A single ticket to Adelaide. A cabin booked, two carriages down. Yes, there was a bar on the train. Yes, there was food available. Possibly there was a seafood roll or a tuna sandwich, he answered, in response to the woman’s sudden question. And certainly she could get a glass of milk from the bar. What was she on? he wondered. The Eat Like a Cat Diet?

  Mad bloody tourists, he thought as he went on his way.

  Joseph shut the door as the conductor left.

  “Was I too obvious?” Eva asked at once. “Do you think he guessed?”

  “That we had a stowaway kitten?”

  She nodded.

  “No, of course not. I’m sure lots of people are as interested in fish and milk as you were.”

  “Lucky he went when he did, then. I was about to ask if he had any toy mice.”

  Joseph unlocked the door to the small bathroom and retrieved the basket. Rex was awake, peering out through the bars, bright-eyed. Eva watched as Joseph opened the hatch, reached in and gently lifted Rex out. He stroked the kitten’s head. “He’s a nice little fellow.”

  “Actually he’s not any more. Not since about two hours ago.”

  Joseph winced. “Ahh. That’s why you were at the vet’s?”

  She nodded.

  Joseph held Rex even more carefully. “So he’s been in that basket since then?”

  “He has, I’m afraid. We’ve had a hectic afternoon.”

  “And do you usually carry him around with you everywhere you go or is this a special occasion?”

  “It’s a bit of a long story.”

  “Later, yes? Over a glass of wine? You’ll tell me everything then?”

  “Everything, I promise.” More than you’re expecting, Joe, she thought with a sudden sinking heart.

  Just then Rex leaped out of Joseph’s hands and made for the bathroom. He seemed to be walking quite gingerly. No wonder, Eva thought, given what he’d been through that afternoon. As she watched in some horror, the kitten crouched in a corner of the shower cubicle. An unpleasant noise was followed by a very unpleasant smell. Seconds later Rex stepped delicately out of the cubicle, sat down and started to give himself a good wash, all over.

  Eva was mortified. “Oh God, Joe, I’m so sorry. If I’d known he was going to do that I would have made him do it in my cabin.”

  “It’s fine,” he said, laughing. “I had a cat when I was a kid.” He leaned into the bathroom, lifted Rex out, turned on the shower to full strength and heat and firmly shut the door. He was trying not to smile. “We’ll let it run for a while, what do you think?”

  She nodded, too embarrassed to smile back. “I think that’s a very good idea.”

  Half an hour later, Eva had forgotten all about Rex’s bathroom habits. She was sitting with Joe in the lounge car. They had enjoyed a glass of complimentary champagne and shared some sandwiches. A good portion of the filling was now wrapped in a serviette in her bag, ready to be fed to Rex, who was now in his basket in her cabin.

  They sat opposite each other, a bottle of red wine between them. Outside, the countryside lay in darkness, interrupted occasionally by the lights of a town or a car on the nearby highway. The noise of the train was like a sound track to their conversation, a constant reassuring clacking sound. The other tables were filled with passengers, their talk and laughter a constant hum around them.

  “Did you have something in South Australia you really wanted to see tomorrow, Joe? I hope I haven’t spoiled your plans.”

  He shook his head. “Oh no, you haven’t spoiled my plans at all.” He’d wondered how to bring this up. “Actually, I need to go to one of the wine regions. To the Clare Valley. It’s a couple of hours’ drive from Adelaide.”

  She smiled. “You need to go to the Clare Valley? It’s a burning ambition? A dare?”

  He wanted to tell her why. He wanted to tell her all about his father. But it would change the mood between them, surely. And the fact of the matter was, he didn’t want to say or do anything that might change what was happening right now. He had that lovely drifting feeling back again. Some of it was the wine, but most of it was the feeling that he and Niamh were floating slowly toward each other. Getting closer and closer. He wanted to kiss her. Touch her…
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  He realized he hadn’t answered her question. “No, it’s not a dare.” He thought quickly. “I’ve just heard the wine is really good.”

  “All this way to buy some wine? You are keen.”

  “I’d like to see where it comes from, I guess. Like buying milk from a farm, rather than a supermarket.” He stopped there. “Would you like to do that, come to the Clare Valley tomorrow?”

  “I’d love to,” she said. The way she was feeling she’d visit a canning factory with him.

  She had never felt this alive in a man’s company. This was a million miles from how she had felt with any other boyfriend she’d had. And it was a trillion miles from how she’d felt with Dermot. As for telling him the truth about the Niamh story tonight—well, she’d ruled that out completely. They’d gone beyond talking about what she did for a living, or what he did for a living, for that matter. Or where they lived. He hadn’t been talking to fake Niamh tonight as far as she was concerned. He’d been talking to Eva, who just happened to be called Niamh at the moment. So there was absolutely no reason to change the mood and bring up a subject like that, was there? No reason at all.

  Yes, there is. It’s called the truth.

  She ignored the voice. “And after that, Joe? Is there something else you’d like to do on this trip?”

  He didn’t say anything out loud. But she instantly felt as though she could read his mind. I’d like to touch you. Kiss you. Make love to you.

  At that moment she became completely physically aware of him. She felt like her skin was sending off vibrations in response to his. Every part of her had sprung to life. It was as though an electric current had been switched on between them. She knew he was aware of it too. His expression had changed from the warm, interested look she had enjoyed all evening. His eyes had darkened, his face was still.

  She knew she wanted to kiss him. She’d had to stop herself all night from leaning forward to touch his arm. But she hadn’t expected this…This what? she wondered. This absolutely intense longing for him.