Upside Down Inside Out

by Monica McInerney

  “And is that better or worse?” she had asked him softly.

  He turned and looked at her. “It’s both.”

  The look in his eyes had nearly broken her heart. Gently, slowly, she’d put her arms around him. Kissed his face. And then she’d held him closely for a long time.

  It wasn’t until they reached Adelaide airport that she’d remembered to phone Lainey again. While Joe took care of their tickets and checked Rex into the baggage section, she’d tried three times, getting only Lainey’s voice mail on her mobile. On the fourth try she’d left a message.

  “Lainey, it’s me. I’m on my way home and everything’s fine, I promise. With me and Rex. We’ll be back at the flat in a few hours, so I’ll try you again then.”

  Thinking about it now, Eva realized she’d been glad to get Lainey’s machine, not the real thing. She wasn’t in the mood for Lainey’s questions, or disapproval. It had been like that enough when they were children. She was thirty-one years old now. Not six. Not fourteen. Not twenty-three. And something about Lainey’s tone on the phone yesterday, and her questioning of her judgment, had been bothering her. As they started descending into Melbourne airport, she shook the thought away, feeling disloyal. This was Lainey she was thinking about. Her oldest friend.

  Half an hour later they were in a taxi going into the city, Rex safely on the floor at Eva’s feet. She directed the driver to Spencer Street station, where she hoped Lainey’s car was still waiting. They sat side by side in the back of the taxi, speaking little. She knew he was still far away in his own thoughts but it didn’t feel strained between them. She felt…what was the word? Connected to him.

  At the entrance to the railway station carpark, she opened the taxi door, holding Rex’s basket. Joseph spoke quietly.

  “Niamh, can I ring you later tonight?”

  “I’d like that very much.”

  He gently touched the side of her face. “Thank you.”

  “Thank me? For what?”

  He kissed her on the lips. A strong, firm kiss. “You know what.” He got back in the taxi and it drove away.

  At that exact moment at Melbourne airport, Lainey was waiting at the baggage carousel, tapping her foot impatiently.

  She’d just checked her voice mail messages. Thank God there had been one from Eva saying she was on her way home, that she was all right. Lainey had been up the walls with worry all night, ringing her Richmond apartment and not getting any answer.

  Lainey’s boss had been very understanding about her need to fly back to Melbourne. “Of course you can go home, Lainey. You’re nearly finished in Brisbane in any case. And it does sound urgent. Has your friend had these psychological problems for years?”

  “On and off,” Lainey had answered, crossing her fingers behind her back and silently apologizing to Eva.

  But Eva definitely had some sort of problem, Lainey thought. Taking off on this mad jaunt across the country with Rex and a complete stranger. Eva always had been a bit innocent. A bit too trusting. It was her lack of confidence—she didn’t have a lot of faith in herself and her own judgment and was easily taken in. Look how easy it had been for that Dermot fellow. Surely anyone else would have been a bit wary of all that sudden attention? But Eva hadn’t. She just had a bit of a blind spot when it came to men, Lainey decided. And it looked like it was happening again with this backpacker. Joe, or whatever his name was.

  Lainey’s suitcase came sailing past. She quickly grabbed it. As she walked up to the taxi rank, she knew she’d made the right decision. She’d be home in less than an hour. Then she’d sit down with Eva and have a good old heart-to-heart chat.

  Eva and Rex had been back at the Richmond apartment less than half an hour when the phone started to ring.

  She answered it. “Hello, Lainey’s house.”

  “Niamh?”

  “Joe? Are you okay?”

  “I can’t wait until tonight. Can I come and see you again. Now?”

  She didn’t even pause. “Yes.” She gave him the address and put down the phone. “Hurry,” she said aloud.

  There was a long queue at the taxi rank. Lainey wanted to shout in impatience. “Let me go first. I need to go and see my friend who has lost her mind.” Three taxis came. She moved up the queue, giving her suitcase a nudge with her foot to move it along. The lock sprang open, clothes and other items spilling out.

  That bloody case. Lainey wanted to kick it into the gutter. She’d only bought it last year. Three people went past her in the queue while she tried to stop her undies from blowing all over Melbourne airport. She put a foot on top of the case to make sure it didn’t spring open again and counted the people now ahead of her in the queue. Six, maybe even seven. Damn. She’d be here for ages yet.

  Eva had just about worn a hole in the carpet between the living room and the front door. Rex thought it was some new game and was trit-trotting happily behind her as she paced back and forth.

  She had never felt like this in her life. So full of anticipation. So physically conscious of her own body. The urgent longing she’d felt for Joe on the train had come back. Tenfold.

  The doorbell finally rang and she pressed the intercom button. “Hello?”

  “It’s Joe.”

  At last, Lainey thought. She helped the driver lift her broken case into the boot of the taxi, then came around and climbed into the front seat.

  “Where to, love?”

  “River Street, Richmond, thanks.”

  Eva opened the door and Joseph followed her into the muted light of the living room, the sunlight blocked by the blinds. They were some distance apart but the electric current was strong between them again. She swallowed, so nervous she could barely speak. “How are you?”

  “Good, thank you.” He closed the gap between them. He took one of her hands, then the other. Holding them tight he pulled her gently toward him. She lifted her face. He lowered his.

  She shut her eyes as their lips touched. She didn’t want to see anything. She just wanted to feel. His lips brushed against hers. Soft. Strong. She pressed closer against him.

  The kiss seemed to last for hours. She felt like she was dancing. Like they were swapping leading positions. The music in her head got harder and faster and suddenly their kisses weren’t feather-light any more. Standing like this, pressed up against each other in the middle of the living room, wasn’t even near to being close enough.

  The dress she was wearing had a long zip down the back. She shivered as he took hold of the clasp and slowly pulled it down. The barest hint of air ran down her back as the dress opened. With sure hands, Joseph moved the dress down, baring her shoulders, baring the tops of her breasts. She breathed in sharply as he slowly, gently traced her skin, traced the line of her lace bra. His eyes were dark with desire.

  Eva’s head swirled. No man had ever gazed at her like that. Touched her like that. His hand molded her curves. For once she didn’t feel self-conscious. She was glad of her body, she could feel that he liked it. She moved closer to him, standing on tiptoes, reaching up to his face to kiss him again. The feel of his jeans, the cotton of his shirt against her naked skin, was the most sensual thing she had ever felt.

  She pulled the shirt out from his waistband, feeling his skin. She unbuttoned it, pressing a kiss against his chest, touching the silky skin of his back. Her breasts in the lacy bra were pressed close against his chest.

  Then they both heard the sound of the front door opening.

  “Why is it so dark in here? Hello? Is anyone home?” There was the sound of a flick of a switch, then a bright fluorescent light filled the living room.

  “Bloody hell,” the voice said.

  It was Lainey.

  CHAPTER 31

  She looked at them both and spoke slowly and calmly. “I’m going to go outside again for a few minutes, what do you think about that?”

  “I think that’s a very good idea,” Eva said, pulling up her dress. “That’s my friend, Lainey,” she said to Joseph afte
r Lainey had gone back outside.

  “So you know her? That’s a relief.”

  Eva reached up and kissed him. “I’ll be right back.”

  Lainey was sitting out on the steps with Rex purring on her lap. Her feet were up on her broken suitcase.

  “That was quick. Would you like me to do up the zip properly?”

  Eva gave Lainey an embarrassed smile. “I’m so sorry. If I’d known you were about to walk in I—”

  “Would have kept your clothes on for a few more minutes?”

  “Lainey, you’re not making this any easier.”

  “That’s Joe the English backpacker, I presume?”

  “It is.”

  “You certainly seem to have hit it off.”

  “Lainey…”

  “I’m just trying to make you feel better. Can I come in now?”

  “Of course you can. And it’s fantastic to see you. I just wasn’t expecting you.”

  “I gathered that.”

  As she walked ahead of Lainey through the front door, Eva stopped so suddenly that her friend bumped against her back. “Lainey, I need to ask a huge favor,” she whispered.

  “What?”

  “I need you to call me Niamh in front of Joe.”

  “What? Are you still keeping this up?”

  Eva nodded sheepishly.

  Lainey frowned. “But why with him, Eva? I mean, I thought it was funny with Greg, but surely you haven’t been telling everyone you’re Niamh?”

  Eva shook her head. “Not everyone. It’s a long story. A really long story. And I’ll tell you everything, I promise. But would you just go along with it for now?”

  Lainey didn’t look happy about it. “Okay,” she said, after a moment.

  Joseph was standing by the window in the living room. He turned as Eva and Lainey came in. Lainey moved Rex onto her shoulder and held out her hand. “It’s lovely to meet you, Joe. Did Niamh tell you I’m chronically short-sighted? I can’t see a thing unless it’s just a few centimeters away from me.”

  He gave a quick grin. “That must come in very handy sometimes.”

  “When you least expect it, actually. Please, sit down.”

  The three of them sat. Joseph and Eva felt like they were being interviewed.

  “So, Joe. Niamh’s told me a lot about you. You’re traveling around Australia, I hear.”

  “I am, that’s right.”

  “And you’re an industrial designer?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Are you enjoying Australia?”

  “Very much.”

  Lainey glanced at her watch. “Well, isn’t this nice. Tell you what, why don’t you stay for dinner, Joe. Or better still, let’s all go out together. What do you think?”

  “Joe?” Eva turned toward him.

  “But Lainey has just arrived, are you sure I’m not in—”

  “In the way?” Lainey said cheerfully. “Of course not. It’d be great to get to know you a bit better. I’ve heard so much about you from Niamh, haven’t I, Niamh?”

  “Yes, Lainey.” Eva wasn’t at all sure of her mood. “Joe, please come out to dinner with us.”

  He glanced from one to the other. “Then thanks, I’d like to do that.”

  Lainey stood up, putting Rex on the ground. “Niamh, could you give me a hand with something before we go? My suitcase has broken and I’ll need some help. Excuse us, Joe, won’t you?”

  “Of course.”

  Lainey picked up her suitcase and went into her bedroom. Eva was barely inside before Lainey shut the door firmly behind her, dropped the suitcase and put her hands on her hips. “Evie, what on earth is going on here?”

  Eva was taken aback. “You don’t need help with your suitcase after all?”

  “Of course I don’t. Eva, I’m serious. What in God’s name has got into you?”

  “Nothing has got into me. Why?”

  “You hardly know this man. A visit to see some penguins is one thing, but going off to Adelaide with him just like that? With my cat? A one-day driving tour of South Australia? Flights back to Melbourne? And now passionate lovemaking sessions—in a standing position, if you please—in my front room? Anything could have happened. And it’s not just about your personal safety. I don’t want you to get hurt again. Like you were with—”

  “Dermot.” Eva interrupted. This was no time to bring up anyone else. “Lainey, I won’t get hurt. This is nothing like it was with Dermot. With anybody I’ve ever gone out with before.”

  “But you don’t know the first thing about Joe.”

  “I do. I know plenty of things about him.”

  “Like what?”

  “All the things I’ve already told you on the phone. He’s thirty-four. He lives in London. He’s backpacking on a working holiday around Australia. Isn’t that enough to be going on with?”

  “A backpacker on a working holiday, is he?”

  Eva nodded.

  “Who takes spur-of-the-moment one-day trips to South Australia?”

  Joe’s meeting with Lewis wasn’t her story to tell. She didn’t answer for a moment, hating how Lainey was making her feel. “He had to get some wine,” she finally blurted out.

  “Get some wine? What, he can’t buy it in London? Or here?”

  Eva shifted uncomfortably under the force of Lainey’s questioning. “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. He just liked the idea of getting it straight from the winery.”

  “And did this Joe happen to know the people at this winery? Were they expecting him, do you think?”

  Eva had just about had enough. “No, the people at this winery didn’t know this Joe. What exactly are you getting at, Lainey? Because I don’t like your line of questioning one bit.” Eva felt her cheeks go red. She rarely stood up to Lainey.

  “Oh come on, Evie. Don’t you think it’s all a bit weird? I’m sorry, but I think you have to be a little more wary than that these days. You can’t take people on face value any more. He’s a backpacker who was working in Four Quarters because he was running out of money, is that what you told me?”

  Eva nodded.

  “So how did you get from Adelaide to the Clare Valley?”

  “He hired a car.”

  “And how did you get home?”

  “We flew.”

  “Who paid?”

  “Are you an immigration officer, Lainey?”

  “Evie, who paid?”

  “He did. He had those frequent flier points, he said.”

  “Oh, did he? Don’t you think that’s a bit suspicious? A bit unusual? For a backpacker? I read a very interesting article in the newspaper a week or two back about drug trafficking in Australia. How it’s quick and easy money for the right people. And how they prey on innocents, get them to do the dirty work. He hasn’t given you any parcels or anything, has he? To take back home with you?”

  “Now you’re saying Joe’s a drug smuggler?”

  “No, I’m not saying anything for sure. I’m just not taking everything at face value, like you have. Come on, how much do you know about him? Really?”

  Eva was defiant. “Lainey, Joe is exactly what he seems. Why would he be anything different?”

  “What does he call you?”

  There was a long pause. “Niamh.”

  “What does he think you do for a living?”

  “He thinks I’m a sculptor. And a singer.”

  “And that you live where?”

  “In Galway. In a caravan. Oh, stop it, Lainey, you know exactly what he thinks. You’re the one that started this whole thing.”

  “I know, I know. For one night. I didn’t expect you to start living your whole life around it. I’m just trying to say that things aren’t always what they seem. And you need to be a bit wary sometimes. I mean, meet him for a drink, fine. Dinner, maybe. But a spur-of-the-moment trip to South Australia? A day in a car with him in the middle of nowhere? It could have been so dangerous.”

  “But it wasn’t, was it? Lainey, stop this, please
.”

  “Look, I’m not trying to be difficult, but I feel very responsible for you. I invited you over here, after all. What if something were to happen—”

  “For heaven’s sake, Lainey, I am thirty-one years old. I wanted to come to Australia. I wanted to go away with Joe. You’re not my mother. In fact, you’re behaving worse than a mother. Please, don’t spoil this. For once I’ve felt free with someone, that I’m really being myself, that I—”

  Lainey made a strange noise. “Oh yes. You’re really being yourself. With your fake name and your fake caravan and your fake successful career.”

  That was enough. “Shall we go to dinner, Lainey? I don’t want to be any ruder to Joe than we’ve already been.” She walked out of the room.

  Twenty minutes later they were in a restaurant that Lainey had chosen down the road from the apartment. “Modern Australian cuisine, I think tonight. What do you say, Niamh?”

  Lainey was mad at her, Eva knew that. Well, too bad, because she was mad with Lainey too. “Perfect,” Eva had said with a fake smile.

  Another twenty minutes and she was regretting having agreed to go out to dinner. Regretting urging Joe to come along. Regretting coming to Australia in the first place. She wasn’t mad at Lainey anymore. She was furious.

  Lainey was performing, there was no other word for it. She was behaving like an actress, a celebrity, glittering at all and sundry. She had insisted on changing before she came out, emerging from her bedroom in a very figure-hugging dress. Eva had immediately felt like a postulant nun beside her, her previously lovely shift dress metamorphosing in her imagination into something from the scrap basket. She was Maria von Trapp beside the baroness. Cinderella beside her stepsisters.

  Since they’d arrived at the restaurant Lainey had flirted with the waiter, the barman, the two men at the neighboring table. And now she was flirting with Joe. She was like someone in a How to Flirt documentary. All twinkling eyes, hands on her chin, tinkling laughter and just that bit longer than necessary eye contact.