Oswald's eyes were immediately drawn to the gap. "That's it?"
"Do you see a light?" Felix asked.
Oswald nodded and looked at Felix. "What do I do?"
"Just walk," Felix said. "That's your light."
"Thank ya." He tipped an imaginary hat to Felix and me, and then walked to the trees, and he disappeared into the gap.
"Was that Heaven or Hell?" I asked quietly.
"I don't know. I imagine it led him to the step before either, like a sorting."
I looked after Oswald for a moment while Felix finished up the paperwork. "Wow," I said. "That was nothing like I expected."
"Were you expecting Paranormal Activity in the woods?"
"Kind of, yeah. That wasn't traumatic at all. He needed our help, and he got it and moved on. It was...nice."
"Oswald was a good first one for you. I have to warn you, you will come across many crying ghosts or ones that will argue that they're not dead. They're not all as easy as Oswald."
"I figured I wouldn't be that lucky," I said.
Felix slipped his notebook back in his bag and looked around. "Let's go this way."
We headed off into the woods and I carefully stepped over branches and rocks as I followed him. When we had been walking in silence for a minute, I couldn't stand not knowing any longer.
"So, you were going to tell me what those girls were doing in the ice cream shop?"
Felix nodded slowly. "Right. You sure you want to know?"
I was intrigued as hell. Of course I wanted to know. I nodded.
THIRTEEN
"I suppose I should give you some history." Felix walked lazily through the woods now, and his eyes scanned the woods effortlessly as he talked. "Growing up, my parents ran a crematorium."
I glanced at him. "You grew up in a funeral home?"
"No, just the cremation part of it. The funeral home was next door and they worked with them, but my brother and I grew up helping out around the crematorium. We'd mostly handle phones and paperwork, but when we got older we were allowed to help out with the actual process."
I cringed internally.
"When my brother was about fourteen, which made me twelve, he started acting kind of...off. He got moody and distant and would yell at our parents constantly. My parents thought it was just him being a teenager. But then-" He stepped over a thick log and held a hand out for me.
"Then?" I asked.
"My dad started noticing things in the chamber where we'd cremate the bodies. Sometimes you'd get bone and teeth fragments that don't burn, but they go in the urn anyway. But my dad realized he was finding non-human teeth and as the months went by he was finding them more frequently."
I hesitated. "What were they?"
"My dad secretly put cameras up and caught my brother putting the neighborhood cats and dogs in the chamber. They were usually dead, but not always. It became a huge thing at home and his outbursts got worse. My mom kept trying to insist that it was his age and that he was just stressed with high school starting and stuff, but I think my dad and I both knew what was really happening."
I had seen enough TV to know what he was talking about. "Your brother's a psychopath," I said.
"Yes. He was."
The sound of leaves under my feet stopped. "Was?"
Felix motioned for me to keep walking. "My family is the sad kind of famous in this town."
"What happened?"
"Like a lot of psychopaths, animals were just the beginning. When my brother was eighteen, just a couple months before graduating high school, he broke into my dad's gun safe. My parents were still asleep when he took the gun. They didn't even see it coming."
I gaped at him. "Oh God. He-"
"Shot and killed our parents, yeah."
"Jesus," I breathed.
"Then he took the gun to our school. He killed nineteen people and wounded thirty others."
"You were there," I said when I remembered he was two years younger.
"I ended up in the cafeteria where he killed eight people. He did it right in front of me."
"Oh my God. I'm so sorry." I didn't know what else to say.
"We weren't close, but still. I thought I should've been able to see something like that coming. I was caught off guard. People died. Some of them were my friends. I was there, and I couldn't help. That's why this job is so important to me."
I thought about the side jobs Shazo had mentioned. "So, you're obsessed with death," I said quietly.
"I know that sounds bad and morbid, but, yeah."
"It's not bad or morbid. Your brother's actions changed who you are as a person."
"Yeah," he said softly.
"So...where is he?"
Felix shook his head slightly. "Cops took him out in a hallway."
"God," I said. What do you say to something like that? "So because it was your brother, you feel like you owe society something?"
"I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, but I do. I just want to help. With the things I can do, I see no reason not to help. I could always see the ghosts in the crematorium and the funeral home, and my brother was always around bodies. I mean, did either of us have much of a chance to turn out normal?"
"I'm sorry."
"I was sixteen, so they put me in the system, but I met Shazo a few months after it all happened. I wanted to live at the house, away from everyone while things settled down. The legal system was happy to get rid of me, so Shazo's mom became my legal guardian for two years. I was able to finish school online."
"That was really kind of her."
He nodded strongly. "His mom is great."
"So what were the girls doing at the sundae place?"
"Probably pulling up news clippings. It was a big international news story. You didn't hear about it?"
"I'm not sure. I was probably just about to start high school and wasn't too interested in news that didn't involve One Direction," I admitted.
Felix laughed quietly. "I kind of like that you don't know."
"Why?"
"I don't know. It's a bit like a fresh start with someone. Usually everyone knows and they think I'll turn out just like my brother. Where I work doesn't help, I know."
"I don't think you should judge someone by what their family does."
He smiled a little and wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead. "Well. Let's talk about something else shall we?"
"Sure."
"So...no boyfriend?"
I looked at him, surprised. "Um. No, we broke up a few months before graduation."
"Why'd you break up?"
I tucked some damp hair behind my ear and stepped over a large rock. "Well, he was kind of all talk and no follow through. He always talked about these fancy dates we'd go on and all these fun places we'd go, but we never did any of it. We never went anywhere, really. I had a boyfriend, but I was still spending every Friday and Saturday night at home. We'd hang out at our houses, but that was about it. No dinner and a movie, no parties. Plus, he never said, 'Bless you,' when I sneezed."
"I hate guys that have no follow through," he said. "Makes us all look bad."
"Yeah. It was pretty disappointing." I took in a breath. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Felix shook his head. "No. Never."
I stopped walking. "I'm sorry, what? Never?" I asked, surprised.
"My brother ruined high school for me. No one wanted to be around me, let alone date me. After I graduated, I was more focused here with work. It's not like I've never dated anyone, I've just never had an actual relationship," he said.
I wondered if that meant he had never had sex, but there was no way I was going to ask him that.
Felix got his water bottle out of his bag and took a long drink. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "So it'll just be your parents at Thanksgiving then?" He moved a branch out of the way for me.
I nodded. "Yeah. They're excited to come and I can't wait to see them, but-"
"But you're afraid of what they'll think of the fo
rest."
"Yes. I don't think it'll be to their...satisfaction? My dad thinks I need to be some engineer or CEO. Working here is like a pit stop in his mind. A perfect gap year job. I'm just worried they'll say something that offends you or Shazo."
"I am not easily offended, Pippa, believe me. This kind of work could make a lot of people roll their eyes, but they don't understand what we do or why we do it. Not everyone can see ghosts. Not everyone is willing to help them. And not everyone is willing to walk in this weather all the time, sweating their asses off to look for ghosts. I think what we do is important, but I understand that not everyone thinks like me. We can handle whatever your parents throw at us, okay?"
That made me feel a little better. "Okay," I said.
"Let's head back. I'm hungry."
"We already had dinner," I reminded him.
He glanced at me. "So?"
Pretty convinced he was half Hobbit, we headed back to the house. Felix made himself a second plate of chicken, mashed potatoes, and coleslaw while I grabbed a bottle of icy water. My phone rang and I hopped away from the cabinets.
"'Scuse me," I said before I dug my phone out of my pocket and headed upstairs. It was Ellen.
"Hey girl, hey," she greeted when I picked up.
"Hey. How's school?"
"Crazy, but good. How's your weird ass job?"
"Crazy, but good," I said.
"Your texts make that place seem so creepy."
"The forest is, for sure. I can never relax in there. But the house is cool. So are the guys."
"Yeah, I still need a picture. A description of this Felix guy isn't enough. I need to see if he's as hot as he sounds." I could her head grin through the phone.
"He's, like, Alabama's hidden gem, Ellen."
I heard chatter in the background and then Ellen giggle. "Sorry, I'm going to have to go soon. My roommate's friends are here. But, oh my God, now I need, need, need a picture. Pronto, lady."
"I'll get you a picture," I promised.
We caught up for a few more minutes before we hung up and I was left lying on my bed missing home. I texted my mom and checked e-mail, then made my way back downstairs to find the guys.
"Hey, my mom wants a picture of you guys," I said. Getting a photo of them together seemed a little less obvious than just snapping a picture of Felix while he was eating.
"Oh, sure," Shazo said. He pulled Felix over to him. They stood together, Felix towering over Shazo, and smiled broadly as I snapped a picture.
"Thanks," I said. I sent a copy to my mom and Ellen.
My phone buzzed almost immediately. 'Dude, holy shit, he's so hot,' Ellen wrote. I bit back a smile.
"What, is that about us? Did my hair look weird?" Shazo asked. He tried to crane his neck to see my screen, but I quickly shoved my phone back in my pocket.
"Your hair looks fine," I laughed. "Let's watch TV."
FOURTEEN
Felix sat on the front steps, waiting for me while I grabbed a Poptart and mug of coffee.
"Here." I held out a Poptart to Felix when I met him outside.
"I didn't know you could read minds." He smiled and took it gently from my hand. "Thanks."
I stifled a yawn on the walk to the gate. Felix held the Poptart gently in his mouth while he unlocked it.
"Left or right today?" I asked when we got to the fork.
"You pick."
I looked as far down each path as I could. My gut pulled me to the left. He followed me for a long time as I made my way through the woods. We walked deeper into the woods than I had been before. Despite the woods being fairly cool, sweat drizzled down my back and I heard Felix's water bottle snap open from behind me. Minutes passed and just when I thought about turning around, I stopped short. We were at the woods that bordered the back of the house.
"Well, this was the longest way home ever," Felix said with a light pant.
I had taken us in one huge, time-consuming half circle.
"I don't get it. I was just following my gut or whatever, and I brought us back to the house?" I sighed with frustration and then stepped away from the woods and into the large yard. I just wanted to take a cool shower after all that walking.
Felix jogged after me. "Are you really going to make me walk all the way back to the gate by myself? I don't want to leave it unlocked."
I pulled out my walkie and talked to Shazo for a moment. He was in the woods, so we didn't have to worry about the gate. "Ta-da," I said to Felix.
He hesitated. "It's still early. I might go back in."
I frowned. I probably should, too.
"Or I could have breakfast," he said thoughtfully. "We have pancake mix, eggs. Yeah. Yeah, I just talked myself out of walking in the heat for a few more hours."
I smiled, relieved and walked with him back to the house. I headed upstairs for a shower while Felix hummed happily to himself as he got out the pancake mix. When I went to close the curtain on the bathroom door, I froze. There was someone standing right where Felix and I had been minutes earlier. He was tall with dark hair and was in tattered clothes. He stared at the house, but I wasn't sure if he saw me or not. A ghost, I now knew. They look human, but there's something wrong about them. When he turned and walked back into the woods, I dropped my damp, dirty clothes on the floor and turned the shower water on. I sank down to the shower floor and let the water burn my forming scars.
FIFTEEN
After the first month in Alabama, I was falling into a rhythm and missing Colorado a little less. The homesickness was the worst at night, but I was finally able to fall asleep at a decent hour. After a text-session with Ellen that morning, I made my way downstairs for peanut butter toast and coffee. Felix was sitting on the back porch. I carried my toast outside after downing my coffee.
"It's unseasonably cool," Felix commented while he stared at the woods.
"Still hot to me," I said.
"Do y'all always have a white Christmas?"
I pulled my hair up in a messy ponytail and sat next to him.
"Yeah," I said.
"That must be nice. I haven't seen snow in years. It rarely snows here and when it does it almost never sticks."
I felt a pang of homesickness. No white Christmas? That was one of my favorite things in the world. December would be the end of my six months here. I wasn't sure what to do about Christmas. Go home and stay? Come back for a week or so to wrap it all up? Come back and extend for another six months? "It is nice. Very postcard-like."
"I'd like to have a white Christmas sometime," he said. He stood up and brushed his pants off and then looked down at me. "Is there peanut butter left?"
"Yes," I said with my mouth full.
He walked inside, which left me alone to look at the spot in the woods where the ghost had been last night. I crunched my toast between my teeth until it was gone and then I walked back into the house.
"You wanna do something later?" Felix asked. He set a plate in the sink and looked at me expectantly.
"Uh, like what?"
"I have an idea. It could be fun. You haven't left the grounds since we went grocery shopping weeks ago. It'll be nice to get out."
Was he asking me on a date? "Okay. Sure," I said.
"Great. Shazo's still out, so do you want to come with me into the forest? Or do you dare try it solo?"
I hesitated. I could put it off a few more days, another week, maybe two, but the only way to get into the swing of things fully was to just do it.
"I'll try it by myself today," I said with a strong nod.
Felix looked surprised. "You sure?"
"Yeah. I'm not saying I'll stay out long or go in very deep, but still."
He smiled a little. "You're going to be great. But we need to redo your bag first. You need more stuff when you're alone."
"Oh, yeah. Where do I get the ribbon you guys mentioned?" I asked.
"We have plenty here at the house, but there's a hardware store not far from here that always has some," Felix said. "F
ollow me." I followed him to his office and realized I had never been inside for more than a few seconds when I got the grand tour of the place. His blue desk sat in front of a window, a tall bookshelf was next to the fireplace, and the fireplace itself looked brand new with a shiny mantel and hardly-stained bricks. There were three things on the mantel: a pair of bronzed baby shoes, a stuffed raven, and a blue and black watercolor abstract in a white frame.
"Are those your shoes?" I asked.
He looked up from a desk drawer and chuckled. "Yeah. It's one of the few things I brought when I moved here. It used to have a picture of me in them attached, but I guess my mom lost it over the years."
"I bet you were a cute kid," I said, and I walked over to scan the bookshelf. There were plenty of science textbooks and books on death and the afterlife.
"The cutest," he said. "Here we go." I turned around to see him with several packs of ribbon in his hand. "White is the easiest to spot, so start with that. There's a lot in here, but don't get low. If you get down to two bunches, let me know and I'll get you more." He motioned for me to follow him again. "Where's your bag?"
"By the door. I'll get it." I hurried down the hall, got my bag, and went back to the kitchen. Felix took it from me and placed the ribbon inside. Then he grabbed an extra water bottle and doubled the food that was inside. He walked into his office and came back with extra batteries.
"Okay, ribbon, more water, more food, extra batteries for the walkie and the flashlight. I think that's it. You're good to go." He handed me my bag and I pulled it over my shoulder. "Let's head out."
We walked across the yard and down to the gate, my heart hammering inside my chest the whole way. Felix pushed the gate open and then faced me. "Shazo took the right fork, so I'm going to just head straight. You take the left. Keep your walkie on, okay?"
I clicked mine on and made sure my phone was in my back pocket.
"Just radio if you need anything. Only go as far as you want," he said.
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