by E. C. Hier
His life was not exactly his own and he wasn’t the best catch for a woman like Olivia. He needed to let her go and get on with her life before he made her miserable too.
When the next contract was done, and they were packing to go back to Ireland, he sent the final text to Olivia, telling her that he wasn’t sure if and when he would be coming back and that she should get on with her life. Of course, he’d hoped for a magical fix but Olivia had texted him back as he reached the airport and it was a one-word answer, ‘okay’.
The flight was long and his stomach was clenched for most of it. While his colleagues were relaxed and happy to be going home, he felt like he was leaving an important part of himself behind. He found himself looking back at the number of selfies he’d taken with Olivia. She had the prettiest smile and when she directed it at him it was like she was blessing him with a gift. He’d turned soft and it wouldn’t take long for his family to see the difference in him.
The minibus took him to the town center where he could walk to his mother’s house. The weather fit his mood and he didn’t mind getting drenched. When he rounded the corner onto his street he was amused to find a sign whipping in the wind saying, ‘welcome back’.
If the neighbors hadn’t known him, they might have thought he was coming back from a tour of duty but everyone in a three-mile radius knew his family. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing but it was something he hadn’t experienced for the past six months.
“Look at you all wet and dripping,” his mother said flinging the door open.
A whole herd of people waited in the small house and he shuffled past small boys who had probably forgotten his existence until they just set eyes on him. Every other person in the house had light brown or sandy blond hair with a hint of auburn, why he had been the only ginger in the family he had no idea but for some reason, his aunts, uncles, and small brothers touched it as he passed as if it brought them good luck.
“Here boy, you look like you need this,” his aunt said handing him a cup of tea.
As he lifted the welcome steaming cup to his mouth, he nearly dropped it. The picture on the front was the same enigmatic face as Olivia’s favorite mug. Benedict Cumberbatch gave him a ghost of a smile and he looked around quickly but Olivia wasn’t there. In some strange coincidence they now both had the same mug and if that wasn’t a sign then he didn’t know what was.
Chapter 10 - Olivia
Olivia was shaking. He sent her a text to tell her it was over. A text was the cowards’ way out, nearly as bad as an email. She was furious. She’d had him all wrong and then hung on for all those weeks, hoping that he’d find a way to visit her. She’d sobbed into her pillow and framed a damn picture of him. She understood that he was unable or unwilling to visit but surely he could have telephoned her to tell her he wasn’t interested anymore?
“Stop stewing baby girl,” Louise said and then put her hands up and walked away.
Olivia was taking no prisoners today; she was ready to slaughter anyone on the battlefield. Maybe coming to work hadn’t been such a great idea because now her staff were a little scared of her and her customers seemed to be happy for takeout.
She’d managed to empty every table, even the regulars. She blamed Kieran, of course. It was all his fault. She’d been toying with the idea of dropping everything and flying out to see him at his last place but the texts he sent were so unenthusiastic she eventually figured he must have forgotten the good time they’d had or at least chalked it down as history.
She removed the smiling picture of him from the frame and dropped it into the trash along with the chocolate wrappers and had to do a double-take. How many chocolate wrappers were in there? Had she really eaten all of those in the past week? It was no wonder her pants were too tight; she’d eaten her body weight in candy.
Louise brought in her favorite mug and set it down quietly so she didn’t disturb her and the scent of the coffee, usually so welcome, repulsed her. She took a sip and put the cup down quickly. She hadn’t changed the brand or supplier so why did her coffee taste so weird?
“Louise,” she called after the retreating woman. “Is this my normal brew?”
“Same as always, I wouldn’t change it now,” Louise said looking like she was waiting for an argument.
“It doesn’t taste right,” she said.
Louise took the few steps back into the room and reached for the cup, taking a sniff before sipping the drink. She shook her head and shrugged and Olivia took the mug back taking another sip.
“I don’t like it,” she said.
“It tastes fine to me,” Louise replied.
“Can you do me a favor?” Olivia asked. “Can I have a cup of Builder’s Tea?”
“Olivia?” Louise said.
“I just fancy a cup of tea,” she replied.
A few minutes later Drew came in with a steaming mug of tea and put it down carefully. She would need to give her staff a bonus if she was going to continue being cranky. She sipped the tea and a sigh of satisfaction escaped her lips. Somehow drinking tea had been contagious, and she didn’t want to analyze it because she needed to put the past few months behind her. Waiting around for a man had done her self-esteem no good but now she knew how good being with someone could be, she didn’t want to hide from the world anymore. She just needed to remember to be nicer to people.
Just as Olivia was pulling her coat on Louise stepped back into the office and closed the door. Olivia knew she should apologize to the woman for her behavior but she thought she understood. Louise had seen Kieran and had liked him. No one had expected the man to dump her so callously.
“Louise, I’m sorry I’ve been awful,” she said. “I’ll make it up to you all as soon as I start to feel better and I’m going to work on that.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Louise said reaching into a paper bag. “Your behavior has been very different, and I put that down to a broken heart but Olivia, broken hearts don’t change the taste of a girl’s favorite beverage. Something else entirely does that.”
She handed the small box to Olivia who stared at it until she understood what Louise was saying. Louise thought she was pregnant which would be ridiculous if she’d had her period lately but that had been as missing as Kieran. She sank back onto her chair and fought back the urge to vomit. She eyed the desk suspiciously and recalled exactly what they did on there just a couple of months before.
“Oh shit!”
“Do you want to take it home or do it here?”
“I don't know,” Olivia said and to her embarrassment tears sprang from her eyes.
“It’s okay, it isn’t the end of the world and I might be wrong,” Louise said. “Do you have any other symptoms?”
“A missing period,” Olivia said grabbing a tissue from the desk.
“Sore breasts?”
“Yes,” Olivia said fresh tears erupting.
“Why don’t you pop to the bathroom and take your time,” Louise said rubbing her back.
Olivia sneaked into the bathroom, glad that no one else saw her in her disheveled state carrying a pregnancy test. She sat on the toilet and read the instructions before unwrapping the little stick. Two pink lines was a positive and one was negative. She could do this and it would be negative because she only took the risk once and who got pregnant on their first little mistake?
She peed on the stick and popped the lid on, then placed it on the sink. She turned away and waited, not daring to look. She was more nervous waiting for a small line to appear than she’d ever been at the dentist. Just as she thought she was actually going to vomit she grabbed the stick and stared at it. Her head felt suddenly light and her vision blurred. Two very obvious, very clear pink lines stared back at her.
She sat back on the toilet so she wouldn’t fall and hit her head. The whole room was wavy and after a moment she realized that it was only tears causing her blurred vision.
She continued to stare at the lines. There were definitely two wh
ich meant that she was definitely pregnant. She felt her stomach which was still flat even though she’d put on a few pounds already. What would she look like fat and round? Would she bloom like some women or fade into sickness and misery? She was bound to do the latter.
“Oh, Kieran, what have we done?” she whispered.
“You okay in there, honey?” Louise’s gentle voice reminded her that she had friends, if not a boyfriend.
“No, not at all,” she said and washed her hands before opening the door to let a very concerned Louise inside.
“Positive,” Louise said. “Now you know you can decide what to do, you have options.”
“I’m not getting rid of it,” Olivia said and her hand automatically flew to her stomach as if protecting the tiny ball of cells.
“Well, that’s the first decision made,” Louise said smiling. “Are you going to tell him?”
“Tell him what?”
“About the baby,” Louise said guiding her back to the office.
“I think I should but not yet,” Olivia said once she was sitting down.
“Good idea, make an appointment with your doctor and see how far along you are,” Louise said and Olivia realized the older woman was glowing.
“Are you getting excited?”
“I love babies,” Louise said shrugging.
“Great, you have it,” Olivia retorted.
“If only, I’m too old,” she said smiling.
“I’m too single,” Olivia said, but the tears had thankfully dried up.
“Maybe, but you won’t stay single forever,” Louise replied. “For now, just concentrate on taking care of yourself.”
That was what Olivia decided to do first. She hit Google up for all the information she needed on pregnancy. She ordered some books to help her with the one subject she’d never even thought about and she made an appointment with her doctor.
After that, she spent half an hour looking at all the baby related purchases that she would need to consider in the coming months and checked her bank balance. Her inheritance had covered more than her apartment and the shop but if she was having a baby on her own, she wanted to do it right.
Chapter 11 - Olivia
The weeks flew by as Olivia made plans and she quickly found herself lightening her workload. She spent the majority of her working day in the office rather than on her feet as her loyal staff fussed over her, plying her with healthy drinks and snacks. She had even invented a couple of nutritious smoothies and they became a hit with the moms who frequented her shop. She had never realized how involved motherhood was but as with all areas of her life; she embraced it.
Her spare room was small, but she soon filled it with baby things that were less Disney princess and more Marvel superheroes. If she had a boy, he would be a happy one but if she had a girl, then she might need to re-educate herself as to what girls liked because she had never been a girly girl. She was really happy to have the support of her friends and Louise had been almost motherly but several times she had asked about Kieran and each time Olivia had told her she wasn’t ready.
Letting Kieran know about the baby would only inhibit his life. He’d made things clear weeks ago, and she had to accept it and move on. She was lonely at times but every time she thought about the years ahead of her she remembered that she won’t be alone. In just a few months she would have another person to share her world with. A small bundle of cuteness if the baby was anything like she imagined it to be.
The trouble is, the longer she left it the harder it would be and calling Kieran to tell him that he was about to become a father was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. She wished she could get Louise to do it but Louise had shut her down, rightly so, when she’d suggested that. Kieran was a coward with his goodbye text but Olivia didn’t have to be.
When she first heard the heartbeat, she wished that Kieran had been there. Even if he hadn’t been the loving boyfriend, it would have been fantastic to see his face and the tears that form in his eyes as he heard his unborn child for the first time.
Her first scan had been harder because the emotions it drew from her had her crying for hours. The tiny little bean that looked like a peanut was moving around in her womb. It was a real little person growing out of hers and Kieran’s love.
“Don’t you think you should tell him?” Louise asked.
“Yes, but I’m not ready yet,” she replied.
“It doesn’t mean it’s not the right time,” Louise replied, and she knew it was true.
Her conversation with Louise had left her knowing what she needed to do and when she picked up the phone that evening it was with shaking hands. Never before had she needed a large shot of rum so much but unable to drink it she’d settled with hot chocolate.
The phone just rang and rang and after a while, she ended the call. Disappointment shot through her but she didn’t know where in the world he was so she had no idea what time it would be where he was.
She left it until later that night and tried again. The phone just rang, and she went to bed wondering what was going on in his life that he couldn’t answer. That was when she realized that he had probably moved on and could well be lying in bed with another woman.
She didn’t do Facebook or Twitter so she hadn’t thought to snoop and as far as she knew, he didn’t have it either. The last thing she needed to see at night was a picture of Kieran with another woman and so she ignored the urge to make an account just to find him.
When a noise woke her in the night, she sat up feeling disorientated. Her phone was glowing and lighting the room so she reached for it. The tiny flutter in her stomach announced that the baby was awake and she placed one hand on her stomach to stroke the bump that was increasing with every day.
The skin on her stomach was tight over the bump and she had a feeling she would be getting stretch marks any day. Her nightly routine of smoothing cream over her skin had increased since she had started to show but her small frame was definitely under strain.
The screen showed one missed call, and it was Kieran’s number which made her heart speed up. She pressed the call button before she could chicken out and waited to hear his voice. When a strong Irish-accented female answered she felt sick and almost hung up but it had to be done; there was no point in delaying the inevitable.
“Hello,” the voice said again.
“Hi, is Kieran there?” she asked holding her breath.
“No, who is this?” The voice sounded friendly, but the accent was strong so she couldn’t be sure.
“I’m a friend of his in Boston,” she said.
“Oh, would you be Olivia?” The voice asked and Olivia nearly dropped the phone.
“Yes,” she replied.
“I’m glad you called,” the woman said. “My brother has told me all about you and to be honest, if you don’t mind me being honest, I can’t get my head around why you two split up. He said you were perfect.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Why did you split up?”
“Is this Chloe?” Olivia asked feeling relieved and scared in equal measure.
“Of course,” Chloe replied like it should have been obvious.
“Chloe, I got a text from Kieran months ago to say he was going to Ireland and could no longer see me,” she said.
“I see, what an idiot,” Chloe said and Olivia felt herself warm to the girl.
“Is he there?”
“No, he’s in the states,” she said. “This is my phone now and I can’t give you his number but I’ll get him to call you.”
“Please, it’s important,” Olivia said.
“Don’t worry, he’ll call in a day or so,” Chloe said. “I have to go now but keep in contact with me.”
“Okay, thanks, Chloe,” she said.
She sat upright in bed for the next half hour wondering what she was missing. She hoped that Chloe would get Kieran to call her because now that she’d spoken to Chloe her accent had brought back all the old memori
es that Olivia had tried to suppress. Memories of them in the very bed she was in now, him making her laugh and her teasing him. His jade green eyes and messy ginger hair. She even missed the freckles on his nose. It was infuriating.
When she eventually went back to sleep, it was to dreams of Kieran. She wondered where he was and how close he had been. If he had turned up in her shop, he would have noticed the bump that stuck out immediately. She wondered what he would think and if his shock would send him running. When she had tossed and turned with every scenario, she eventually fell back to sleep and slept in, causing Louise to phone her waking her from a very different kind of dream about Kieran.
After assuring Louise that she was fine she showered and dressed. Louise had told her to stay at home and rest if she felt tired but it was her second trimester and true to the book she felt great. She was eating regular meals and the sickness that had turned up a few times had vanished and she was glowing. Her hair was shiny and her nails had grown stronger while her skin looked clear and perfect. The only thing she wished for was a bladder that didn’t constantly want emptying.
When she reached the shop Louise and the others were in a stir about the latest poster she’d ordered. It seemed natural to her to progress from superheroes and super-villains to Vikings and the larger-than-life picture of Ragnar Lothbrok played by Travis Fimmel would look fantastic on her office wall. With his full Viking get-up and piercing blue eyes, he brightened the wall no end and made her feel protected in some strange way.
“I just think it should be on show,” Sarah said. “A man that hot shouldn’t be tucked away.”
“A man that good shouldn’t exist,” Louise said. “It’s enough to stop us all from working.”
“Well, I am not sharing him,” Olivia said blowing an extravagant kiss at the poster.
“I wouldn’t mind sharing,” Sarah said with a sigh and the laughter was a much-needed tonic after a sleepless night.
Chapter 12 - Kieran
Chloe had been a real source of comfort whereas the rest of his family hadn’t noticed his misery. His mother had found a whole itinerary of jobs for him to do around the house and his father had set him up with his friend’s daughters which didn’t go down too well when he had to explain to them all that he wasn’t interested. Only Chloe had understood and for that, he owed her big time.
