The clock chimed five. Baran would get home soon. I searched the cabinets and found the makings for meatballs with gravy. I had no idea if it would be edible, even to humans, but I was going to try. Maybe if I buttered him all up, he would be more open to me spending time with Ryan.
I wished desperately I had gotten Beth’s number she could have gone with me to Ryan’s. Then I wouldn’t have felt so self-conscious. What if his friends didn’t like me?
“Sure smells like human food in here. What’s the occasion?” Baran asked suspiciously.
“I thought I’d take your advice and try to like human food,” I lied. He nodded in return and dished up. I mimicked his movements, trying not to draw attention to myself. It didn’t work.
“So I hear you spent the day with Claire’s daughter.”
“I did.”
“Good for you. She’s a smart girl.”
I let out the breath I had been holding. At least I wasn’t in trouble yet. We lulled into the silence of chewing while I gathered up my strength. “So I thought after supper I’d go hang out with Ryan next door.” I waited for him to yell and forbid it.
“Sounds fine. Be in the house by midnight.” He stood up and rinsed his plate. “I’m going to my office. Let me know when you leave.”
“Sure.”
I was stunned. He didn’t freak out about Ryan, so that meant he did have something against Grey. That was a mystery I was going to have to solve.
After cleaning up the kitchen and checking my reflection in the mirror about thirty times, it was already half past seven. I wanted to be late, but not miss it. I decided not to change my clothes. It might look as if I were trying too hard. I walked to the edge of Baran’s office and said, “I’m going to walk over to Ryan’s now.”
He didn’t even look up. “Sure.”
I darted out the front door toward Ryan’s house. I clearly heard the music in the air and a thick, masculine voice singing out, piercing the night. I entered the side of the open garage, lingering at the edge. I let the music wash over me. The voice made my skin tingle and the hair on my arms stand on end.
I glanced around the space filled with teenagers and spotted Ryan playing a bass guitar. Next to him was an African American boy with dark eyes playing the drums. His hair was cut almost to his scalp. He had his shirt off, and his dark chest was covered in glistening sweat.
The voice penetrated my thoughts again, and I searched for the sound. My eyes snapped to the lead singer—it was Grey. Our eyes locked, and my heart surged. His vintage guitar hung at his hip as he sang. He smiled at me, and I fought the urge to get closer to him. A girl with bleached-blonde hair whipped her tanned face around to burn a hole in my skull with her eyes. Her long, straight hair was down to the middle of her back, and her blue eyes nearly sparkled with hate. She was tiny and boney, and she looked how I imagined an American princess would look. But to me, she looked unhealthy.
She was obviously angry about how Grey had reacted to me; I could see it on her face and smell it on her skin. I suppose she was the girl Beth had talked about. I smiled back at her, but her stone face didn’t soften. Instead she abruptly stood up, catching everyone’s attention as she stalked toward me like a cat.
The thought of turning and running was in my mind, but my legs didn’t listen. I wasn’t scared of her—I could easily take her life, but I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I was certain she was going to lash out at me like Medusa, but the song ended just in time. Ryan ran to my side with a huge smile on his face and his guitar slung around his back.
“You made it!” he said.
I managed to peel my eyes away from the miniscule girl to Ryan’s happy face, smiling back. “Thanks for the invite. You guys sound fantastic.”
“Awesome,” he said, wrapping his broad arm around my shoulder and pulling me farther into the garage. They all watched me, and it made me want to hide. “How about some quick introductions. Everyone, this is my new neighbor, Ashling Boru. She just moved here from Ireland and lives across the street with . . . ” he paused, “your uncle?”
I nodded.
“Ashling, this is everybody.”
They laughed, all except the blonde, who I was certain would rather see me dead than welcome me to the group. Her name was Lacey, and she was quickly flanked by a dark-haired, hearty-looking girl named Nikki. Nikki was nondescript, except for her full red lips.
Then came a series of names, though I knew I would have to be reminded of who was who. In the audience, there was Emma, Kate, and Kelsey for girls and James and Clint for additional boys. I would have to place the names with faces again later. For now, I just smiled. Ryan introduced the drummer as Eric and then introduced Grey as the vocalist and lead guitar. Grey gave me a wickedly handsome smile that nearly stopped my breath.
“We’ve already met. Haven’t we, love?” he said with a wink. I could see Lacey’s face contorting. I laughed, though I didn’t know if I was laughing at him or her.
“We did? I just don’t remember,” I replied.
This brought the smile back to Ryan’s face. I took a seat, and the band started playing again. A girl with black curly hair turned around to face me. She looked a lot like the drummer, same beautiful black skin. She had an innocent smile, but her eyes were oddly intense.
“Hi, I’m Emma,” she said. “Eric’s my twin.” She pointed him out behind the drums. Lacey gave us a dirty look.
Emma laughed. “Don’t mind her. She just hasn’t eaten in a decade. Makes her kind of bitchy. Besides, she’s just pissy because Grey winked at you. She asked him to take her back again tonight. He said no. You should have seen it! I thought her head would explode. But he said no, which is good because she’s nuts-o. Plus, she cheats on him, he breaks up with her, she begs him back, and like a silly puppy dog, he takes her back time and time again. But tonight, he turned her down. For the first time ever.” She studied me for a moment before continuing. “I just ignore her. Otherwise everyone else is pretty cool.”
Emma was quiet for a while, watching the band, but I saw Lacey eyeing me from across the room. That scrawny little twig seemed to think she could fight me. What a laugh that would be. I could break her in half—in my wolf form, anyway.
“I think Ryan likes you,” Emma said.
“Oh?”
“Look at him watching you. It’s cute.”
“I guess I hadn’t noticed,” I replied. It was Grey I couldn’t take my eyes off of. There was something unnatural about the way I was drawn to him, and it was strong enough to create bad blood between Lacey and me in a matter of seconds. I didn’t need help making enemies—I had a lifetime of practice at that. But here I was, my second day in the States, with a twig as my adversary.
“That’s it for tonight. I gotta roll,” Grey said, unplugging the microphone.
Lacey lingered near Grey, waiting for his attention. “Grey, honey, how about you give me a lift home?” Lacey asked, batting her eyes at him. I was trying not to pay attention or at least look as though I weren’t paying attention to them, but I couldn’t help it. I had to know his answer.
“Not tonight, Lace. Get a ride from Nikki or call your mom.”
“Come on, Grey, please?”
“I said no, Lacey. Let it go.”
“Grey!” she said as he walked right past her toward us. Lacey’s eyes burned with hate, and all of it was focused on me. “Where are you going?”
He kept his eyes on mine and didn’t turn around. She screeched an unholy sound and stomped out, ramming her shoulder into mine, but I didn’t look away from Grey’s intriguing green eyes. They almost glowed in the light, and his sideburns pointed right to his delicious lips. I wanted to reach out and run my fingers over them to feel how soft they were. My body warmed at the thought.
“Sorry about that, ladies,” he said.
I had to drag my eyes away from his lips. What was wrong with me? I had to get ahold of myself. I didn’t even know him. And he certainly didn’t like me that way. He was j
ust using me to get Lacey to move on. Why was I getting all worked up around him?
Kelsey and Emma gushed over the music as Eric, Ryan, and Grey listened to every word, but Grey continued to watch me out of the corner of his eye. I must have had something on my face. I flipped my hair to create a shelter from his eyes and tried to concentrate my mind back on the conversation and away from his penetrating gaze.
“What are you up to tomorrow, Grey?” Ryan asked.
“Heading up to the falls to work with my dad. Might do some jumping. You?”
“Mom’s got me helping at the café. Maybe on Friday we should all hit the movies?”
Kelsey said, “Sounds great. Let’s all meet at the theater at seven o’clock?”
“Fun,” Emma replied.
“You in, Ashling?” Grey said.
I glanced around nervously. “Okay.”
“Should I pick you up then?” he asked.
I wasn’t going to admit I was already obsessed with him. No way was he going to win me over. He was just trying to get Lacey in an uproar, but it was me who couldn’t take my eyes off him.
I wanted to scream “Yes!” but instead I simply replied, “No. Thanks. I’ll meet you all there.” I smiled at everyone. “Thanks for the fun night. I’ll see you all Friday at seven. Goodnight.”
“It was great to meet you,” Emma said.
“You too,” I said. I quickly turned to walk home. I could feel all their eyes on my back. If I had wanted, I could have heard what they were saying about me, but I was blocking it out. I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to stick with hope, the hope that they liked me. It would be nice to actually have friends.
I stepped up on to the porch with a glance back toward Ryan’s house. Grey was sitting on his bike watching me. He smiled his perfect smile that would keep me up all night. I stepped inside as he waved and drove off. I sighed as I shut the door.
“Nice timing, Ashling,” Baran said from in the darkened living room. I couldn’t see his body, but his wolf eyes glowed in the dark. It was startling even to me.
The clock chimed twelve times.
“Glad you could make it.”
“I made it. What’s there to discuss? You don’t have to hound me all the time.”
“Is there anything you want to tell me?”
I smiled innocently. “Not that I can think of.”
“Ashling. This doesn’t need to be so hard for you. If you learn to obey my rules, we will get along fine. I know Grey was there.”
“I wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know he was going to be there. And what’s the bloody big deal? He’s just a human.”
“I don’t want to be constantly wondering where you are and who you’re with and if you’re safe. It’s my duty to protect you, but I’d like to be able to continue living our lives without me having to follow you around.”
“I was just across the street. Right where I said I’d be. What’s the big deal?” I said.
“You don’t pay any attention to your surroundings. Did you sense me or smell me? I was in Ryan’s garage. You need to hone your senses to constantly be aware if there are other wolves or threats near, for your own safety. Can you do that?”
“Can I do that?” I repeated sarcastically. “Of course I can do that. I am a wolf,” I sneered.
“I can’t always be there for you. I can’t go to school with you like a bodyguard, so I want you to spend some time tomorrow working on that. Practice listening, picking out one conversation from a larger group. Smell things that are farther from you. Familiarize yourself with my scent and the humans around you. You will need to be able to tell the difference between a friend and foe in seconds.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
I stomped away to go to my room. I was tired of everyone thinking I wasn’t good enough. I must have done something horribly wrong in another life. I was constantly under inspection, always coming up short. Your hair is too red, they’d say. You’re too wild for a lady. You’re not good enough as a wolf. You can’t pass for a human. You’re too opinionated. Know your place, Ashling!
My bloody place was wherever I wanted it to be. Bunch of harpies. They can all bite me, I thought angrily.
I flopped down on my bed. Maybe he was right, though. If I didn’t want him following me around all the time, I could have a little freedom if I harnessed my wolfy skills. Then eventually I wouldn’t need protection from Baran, Mund, Mother, or any of them. I could take care of myself.
I would prove it to him. I would prove it to everyone.
Walking over to the window, I peered out on the nocturnal creatures. An owl in the tree right outside my window watched me carefully while never taking his true attention away from a couple of rodents that scurried in the bushes. He was waiting for his supper. I could learn restraint from watching him. Poised, motionless, yet alert to everything around him.
Suddenly he called to the creatures of the night—a warning cry—and flew away, leaving his supper behind. Searching the trees for what would have caused him to forfeit his meal, I saw a large shadow moving through the darkness. It looked like a wolf, but it couldn’t be.
A knock on the bedroom door caused me to jump and look away from the window. “Come in,” I said. The door swung open, and Baran stood there, filling the doorway. When I looked back out the window, the shadow was gone, as if I had imagined it. Could it have been a wolf, or was it a werewolf? Or was it a human? Maybe it was just a shadow.
“Ashling, I just wanted to apologize for our fight. It wasn’t fair to you. You did do what I asked. I worry about you,” he said.
What had the shadow figure been outside my window?
“Ashling, are you listening?”
It could have just been a dog. Or could it have been Adomnan? I shuddered to think what would happen if he found me. And yet I had no idea what he really wanted from me. Maybe it was just the trees and my eyes were playing tricks on me. But I swore I saw something . . . and it moved. Didn’t it?
“Are you okay?” Baran asked.
“Oh yeah. Fine. Just thinking, I guess.”
“Very well . . .” he hesitated. “Goodnight then.” I was too distracted to respond. He shut the door behind him, leaving me once again looking out the window at nothing. I would have to sharpen my senses and stay focused. Remembering what Grey had said about his plans, I laughed. Maybe I would even head out to the falls. Might be a good place to think, test my senses, and enjoy the view. I giggled.
8
Caged
I leapt out of bed as the front door closed behind Baran. I was ready to take on the world, and I desperately needed to shift into my true self. Baran didn’t have to know. After a sleepless night filled with thoughts of Grey, I was ready to reconnect to Old Mother in the forest and start listening to all of her creatures and memorize their scents, their way of life. And I would be able to spy on Grey. I yearned to see him again.
I knew it was unnatural to be so obsessed with a human or any man, for that matter, but I felt something different with Grey.
I dressed quickly in my leather skirt, tie-top, and boots and ran downstairs. My stomach protested as I passed the kitchen. I was starving, but bland, stale meat wouldn’t do. I wanted warm flesh. I would have to avoid humans and livestock on my way to the falls because my restraint was wearing thin.
I carefully smelled the air, but Baran’s sent was already fading. The city wasn’t awake to see my escape, but the animals were stirring for their breakfast and mine. My mouth watered at the thought of eating. I started running, but only as fast as a human could, in case someone was awake to see me. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I ran. The houses flew by faster and faster to the edge of the forest, and once secluded in the forest’s trees, I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. The trees whooshed past me, and the animals froze in terror. I could smell their fear, but I didn’t stop. I followed my ears to the waterfall and climbed a cliff above the pond. It was a good place to hide, with good plant cover.
I lay down among the plants and rocks and settled for the morning. If I were lucky, my breakfast would come to me while I was listening. The animals had started to forget my presence as they entered the clearing for water. Slow, cracking branches came from the east, but the birds continued their song. Whatever it was, it smelled of mushrooms and fresh mud. Definitely not a predator. A pair of boars, perhaps?
I peeked my head around the rock to see two small boars drinking water. I listened to the sounds from the other side of the pond. Something was drinking there too. It was large and seemed nervous with almost a twitch to its flesh. I could smell male pheromones and hear the blood pulse through its veins. I slowly stole a glance at a twelve-point buck standing in the pond, drinking but constantly checking his surroundings. He must have smelled me on the wind.
I rolled onto all fours. I would have to get my clothes off before I shifted, or I would be running back home naked after dark. Nothing says “I broke the rules” more than showing up at home naked, not that it would have been my first time for either. I stifled a laugh as I slid out of my clothes. I shifted my weight to reach the knot on my back, and a leaf cracked. The tiny sound was enough to alert my breakfast of my presence. My eyes darted to my prey; his head was up, ears were moving. My next movements would determine if I would get to eat today.
I untied the top and gently put it on the ground. I hunched back on my legs, coiling, and pounced off the rocks across the pond in my wolf form. I felt my warm blood flow through my veins, and my mind was at peace.
The deer started to run as I hit the water. I misjudged the distance, about four feet short. But the muddy bottom of the pond was on my side, making the deer slip, and I sunk my teeth into his throat, silencing his cries. The warm blood ran over my fur as it trickled down my throat, satisfying my hunger. The sounds of the forest had gone quiet again. All its inhabitants were hiding. Watching. Waiting.
After devouring half of the deer’s meat, I left him for the critters to finish off and become a part of Old Mother again. I jumped back into the water to rinse the blood from my fur as I swam back to the other side.
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