“Long damn time. Your Aunt Elizabeth was a player; that’s how I met her. When we partnered it went high dollar.”
Auntie, you clearly lived a double life. “Why after all this time would someone turn you in?”
“I intend to find out the answer,” Jake said.
“Sounds personal. So now what?” I asked. “I’m surprised you didn’t have a cop on payroll to tip you about the raid.”
“You’ve got a sneaky mind. They weren’t local, they’d been assigned out of Miami.”
“Thanks, I think.” I pulled up in front of the bar.
“Wait here and I’ll get your money.”
He disappeared around the side of the building. In minutes, he came out the front door and leaned into my car window. “Free eats anytime.” He handed me an envelope. “Come by mid-day. There’s always an empty pool table. I owe you anywhere, anytime.” He stood and backed away from the car. “To hear Fab tell it, you’re a crap driver. Were you on your best driving behavior for me?”
“Consider the source. Fab’s driving takes some getting used to. Stay out of trouble.” I waved and pulled away.
CHAPTER 13
Turning the corner, it surprised me to see Mother’s loaner Mercedes parked in front of my house. A drunk had wrapped her car around a parking meter in South Beach while she watched from a sidewalk cafe. The driver had taken out two other cars but, fortunately, he didn’t send any tourists to the hospital.
“Mother, I’m home!” I kicked the door shut, dropping my workout bag on the floor under a cane-back bench that only held important items like keys.
“I’m in here with Jazz,” she called from the other room where I could hear her soap opera coming from the TV. Another favorite couple getting their ninth divorce.
I walked into the living room, where Mother sat on the couch, Jazz rubbing his face on her feet. “I thought you and Jazz had an understanding to ignore one another?” If she wasn’t careful, her white capri pants would be covered in black cat hair.
She turned off the television. “As long as he’s quiet, we get along fine.”
“What brings you here?”
“Family dinner. Brad is joining us at The Crab Shack. I’m looking forward to a plate of crab legs.”
“Sounds good.” My phone rang, the screen said Mac. “Everything okay?” I asked her.
“The sheriff’s here,” Mac said, sounding a bit frantic.
“What now?”
“Barbie and Kibble got into a fight. She threw his clothes in the middle of the street, he went to retrieve them, and she kicked the hell out of him.”
I sighed. “Tell me they’re both in jail.”
“No such luck. Barbie took off when she heard the sirens. Kibble lied to the sheriff despite there being five witnesses. Sheriff Johnson wants to talk to you.”
“I’m on my way.” I turned to Mother. “I’ll have to take a rain check. There’s a problem at The Cottages.”
“No way I’m being left out.” Mother grinned as she stood and flung her purse over her shoulder.
* * *
Two sheriff’s cars were parked in front of The Cottages, a definite street clearer, sending the riff-raff into hiding. “You need to let me handle this, Mother.” I pulled into the driveway. “If you don’t like something I do, tell me about it later.”
“Honey, I’ve got your back no matter what you do.” Then, staring ahead, “Wow, Barbie threw more than his clothes in the road.” Mother pointed to two broken chairs and an assortment of personal items. “I’m sorry we missed the fight.”
I parked in front of the office and said, “Brad and I got lucky on the parent card,” as I shifted into ‘park’ and turned off the SUV. We walked over to talk to Mac.
“Kevin Cory and Johnson want to talk to you.” Mac pointed her middle finger in their direction.
They stood directly across the driveway in front of the Shiner’s cottage. Lucky for Mac their backs were turned.
“Over here.” Johnson turned around, motioning to me. “Weren’t you listening when I spelled out ‘no more problems’?”
“As you well know, eviction takes time.”
“Next time I’ll be writing you a citation and you can tell it to a judge,” Johnson threatened.
“Anything else?” I clenched my jaw.
Kevin walked up. “Kibble’s not pressing charges. He says, no problem, someone overreacted.”
“He has fresh bruises,” Johnson said.
“Says he got them when he pulled in from a fishing trip a few hours ago. We don’t have squat. Let’s go.”
“There better not be a next time,” Johnson threatened, again, in my direction.
Kevin didn’t make eye contact with me.
As soon as the sheriff cars turned the corner, Kibble lumbered out of his cottage, slamming the door so hard the windows rattled.
“This is your fault.” Kibble pointed at me.
“Barbie kicked your ass pretty good,” I said trying not to smile.
“What you did was illegal and I’m suing you. You never served those eviction papers. They were thrown in the bushes.” His face was red and puffy, like one big rash.
“A professional process server delivered those papers to your wife. He brought a witness, and snapped a photo. No judge will take your word for squat. Just get out.”
“We’ll leave the day the sheriff posts the final eviction notice on the door,” he said, greasy hair standing on end, eyes bugged out.
Barbie slithered around the side of the building. “Madison kicked me to the ground, and threatened that if we both didn’t leave immediately she was going to send someone over to hurt us.” She dabbed her bone-dry eyes.
Kibble grabbed my arm. “Is that true?”
“Get your filthy hand off of me,” I snapped and kicked him in the shin. Mother was instantly at my side.
“This is none of your business, old woman,” Kibble spat at Mother, shaking his leg.
“I may not be able to kick your ass but I can shoot you,” Mother threatened, pulling a Sig Sauer P938 from her purse.
All eyes were on Mother, and no one said a word.
Barbie put her arms around Kibble. “Come on, my big Ken doll. I’ll get a bag and help you with the clothes.” Once inside their cottage, she slammed the door. The poor door would never survive their stay.
“Thanks,” I whispered to Mother. We both hustled into the office and locked the office door.
Mac had her feet on the desk, sporting a sixties hippy look. Her denim skirt was hiked up, and wadded between her legs, preventing a peep show.
“I need a cigar,” Mother said.
“Why didn’t you kick his nuts in?” Mac asked. Then turning to Mother, “I’m not surprised you pack,” she said. “Just surprised it wasn’t holstered like your daughter’s.”
“You need a concealed permit.” Mother glared at me.
“I have one.” I knew better than to give her a gloating smile.
“You promised!” Mother yelled.
“What, what am I missing?” Mac sat up, flashing a little too much.
“Mother hates to find out anything after the fact. I haven’t had the permit for very long, if that makes you feel better.”
“Why do you need one? What else aren’t you telling me?” Mother demanded.
“Let’s go to the Aqua Boat for dinner,” I suggested.
“That’s a dump.” Mother wrinkled her nose.
“Good food, full bar and I’m paying.”
“Oh alright. You’d better not leave out any details. I’ve got to call Brad and tell him about the change in location.”
“Last minute family dinner.” I looked at Mother, my eyes slightly squinting. “I know you’re up to something.”
“Any problems, call me,” I told Mac, as we headed out the door.
“Sorry,” Mac mouthed. “Would you mind locking the door behind you?” She picked up her latest romance novel, “The Devil’s Wife.”
CHAPTER 14
Brad chose a window table with a water view of working fishing boats, docked for the night. He sat with his arm around Julie, with Liam next to her. Julie looked great in a slim fitting green linen dress, her blond hair pulled into a ponytail.
“Is this your first date?” I hugged Brad.
Once seated, two pitchers of margaritas appeared, as well as a Jack rocks for Mother. Liam sucked down a soda.
“Mother didn’t tell you?” Brad asked.
“What did you do now?” I asked Mother.
“They’ve been dating.” Mother beamed.
“I have a new Grandma. Isn’t she great?” Liam said. He and Brad had on matching caps with Miami Dolphins logos.
“Let’s go back to Grandmother; I’m not liking the ‘ma’,” Mother told Liam.
“I thought you were going to ambush him with a date like you like to do to me,” I said.
“I told you,” Brad said to Julie, playing with the ends of her hair. “And you,” he pointed at me, “why didn’t you give me a heads up?”
“If I have to endure this kind of treatment, so do you. The last guy she tried to set me up with had plans to kill me. At least Julie’s normal.”
“We went to the Glades to see Brad and had a lot of fun,” Liam said.
“Kill any alligators?” I asked.
“Wow, when are we going to do that?” Liam asked Brad.
Brad shook his head. “Stop,” he said to me.
“Just the three of you? I’m impressed you pulled that off,” I said to Mother.
“Let me tell you how.” Brad kissed Julie’s cheek. “And it still worked out okay.” He laughed. “Mother called, said she had a couple of friends she wanted to bring to the Glades for the day. She drives up, introduces us and then goes to get something out of her car and drives off.”
“I was horribly embarrassed,” Julie said.
“Mother, I…”
“Stop laughing.” Mother punched my shoulder. “They’re dating and you and I like her. When has that ever happened? And we’ve already adopted Liam.”
Conversation ceased momentarily while the waiter dropped off warm fresh bread and refilled our drinks.
“If Julie goes to the nut house like the last one, Mother and I will know it’s your fault,” I said to Brad.
“Brad told me his last girlfriend had mental health issues,” Julie said.
“That’s a nice way to put it. I’d say Patty was big time psycho,” I said.
“I’ve never been to the nut house,” Liam said. “Are they walking around like zombies?”
“They’re medicated so they can’t hurt anyone,” I told him. “What kind of a host was Brad?”
“We had fun!” Liam said. “When Brad thought Grandmother was bringing her old lady friends, he’d planned a trip to the Nature Center but when we showed up he cancelled and took us fishing.”
“Liam, saying ‘old ladies’ is rude,” Julie said.
“You know what Joseph calls them?” Liam asked.
“No and you’re not allowed to repeat one word Joseph says until you run it by me in private first.”
Liam continued, “No nature stuff. Brad took us out on his boat. He helped me reel in my first fish. Man, it was a lot heavier than I thought it would be.” Liam was clearly excited about this as he babbled on. “We took it back to Brad’s, he taught me to gut and clean it, and then we smoked it for dinner. We slept over and he took us home in the morning.”
“Sleepover?” I looked at Brad.
Brad kicked me under the table.
Julie’s face was beet red. “It was late and Liam and I slept in the guest room.”
“You’re quiet, Mother,” I said.
“I already knew the details. Liam and I talk all the time,” Mother said.
“I hear wedding bells.” I laughed. “Between these two schemers,” I pointed to Mother and Liam, “you two better get used to the idea.”
“I’m not the only schemer in the family,” Mother said. “Tell us why you have a concealed permit.”
“It’s the law when you carry a gun,” Liam told Mother.
Two waiters appeared with a large assorted platter of grilled white fish, shrimp, clams and vegetables and rice. A little bit of everything appealed to me but this platter could feed ten.
“What the hell?” Brad nearly shouted after the waiter left.
“Why not ask Mother about the gun in her purse and how she pulled it on Kibble today?” I said calmly as I poured myself another margarita.
“You’re an ungrateful daughter,” she huffed and waved her glass at the waiter.
“Kibble Shiner?” Brad said.
“The one and only. I hope whoever created him didn’t spread their DNA,” I said.
“That bastard grabbed you,” Mother said. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Don’t mess with Kibble Shiner or his psycho wife either,” Brad warned.
“That’s a little hard when they’re tenants.” I picked at my food, whispering to the waiter for a take-out container. Brad thought it was low-class but I didn’t give a damn what others thought about me and my leftovers.
“I’ll kick his ass down the road,” Brad offered.
“I’d like to jump at the offer but if you’re not having problems with him why make any? The Shiner problem would be over if Mother had just shot him.”
“Do you want me to end up in jail?” Mother asked.
“Of course not.” I kissed her cheek. “I don’t want to visit you there either. Not to mention the orange jumpsuits and matching shoes are ugly.”
“I’m not happy that my sister knows about what they’re wearing at the jail,” Brad said.
“Joseph told me if you call Madison she’ll pick you up, even in the middle of the night,” Liam said.
Julie pinched his arm and gave a slight shake of her head.
All eyes focused behind me. Long arms came around the front of me. “Hi,” Creole whispered in my ear, kissing my neck.
Creole kissed Mother’s cheek and pulled a Cohiba cigar, wrapped with a piece of ribbon, from his pocket and handed it to her.
“Pull up a chair,” Mother told him.
“Just for a minute; I’m here on business. Stopped by to see if Madison broke up with her boyfriend yet?” Creole looked uncomfortable in his black suit pants, no tie. His long dark hair tied in a ponytail. He pulled a chair between Mother and me.
“No, and now that you’ve kicked that door open, you deserve what you get,” I told Creole. Mother would seize this opportunity.
Creole looked confused.
“If she said yes, then what?” Mother asked.
“I have a black tie company dinner coming up and I need a date,” Creole said.
“And Creole’s not married,” Mother pointed out.
Brad and I looked at Creole and laughed.
“I don’t feel so bad.” Julie put her hand over Brad’s.
“Not married, not even a girlfriend.” Creole winked at Mother.
“She’d love to go,” Mother offered.
“What about Zach? I thought you liked him.”
“You’re not married to Zach and he hasn’t asked. Damn it, I want more grandchildren.”
“Children?” Creole looked surprised. “We’ve only had one kiss.”
Mother turned to me. “When did you kiss? I didn’t hear about that.”
“You better be married if you knock up my sister,” Brad said. “I’d hate to have to take you fishing sometime and push you overboard.”
I waited to see whether Brad or Creole would be the first to break the stare.
“I don’t fish,” Creole said. “I order it at a restaurant, served to my table.�
��
“You better leave before the preacher shows up,” I told Creole. “Beware of my mother. She has a preacher on speed dial.”
Creole stood up. “I’ll call you with the info.”
“NO!! You know I’m in a relationship and Zach and I don’t date other people.”
“You go on to your meeting.” Mother kissed Creole. “I’ll have a talk with her.”
Creole bent and kissed my cheek. “You’re off the hook,” he whispered.
“He’d be hard to say no to.” Julie watched him walk away.
“What about me?” Brad said.
“Okay, you’re way hotter, does that make you feel better?” I laughed...
CHAPTER 15
Fab and I floated on Styrofoam noodles around the pool, while playing basketball. We were still tied at one-one for the past half hour.
A strange sound made Fab look around. I started paddling to the pool’s edge when the realization hit Fab. “That’s not your usual message tone. Who downloads the starting of an engine?”
“We have our first message from the business card.” I got out of the pool, with Fab close behind me.
“How many have you given out?” Fab asked.
“One,” I told her, listening to the message.
“That must mean trouble at Tolbert’s.”
I hit the ‘call back’ button. “Hi, this is Madison.” I put Tolbert on speaker. “I got your message.”
“Boyd Lincoln and his friends showed up last night and set the church bus on fire,” Tolbert said. “I thought your friend had run them out of town.”
“They were stupid to come back. I’ll be there in about an hour. Don’t worry about the bus. I know someone who can work miracles,” I told him.
“You’re a miracle,” Tolbert said. “Promise you won’t kill anyone.”
“No worries, I only shoot in self-defense,” I told him and hung up.
“Why aren’t you coming with me?” I asked as I followed Fab into the kitchen.
“How did you know?”
“The shifty way you’re acting.” Fab was definitely distracted, only half listening to the phone call.
“I have a new client. High-end beauty supplier and his inventory’s disappearing. Somewhere en route from the main warehouse to their other location up north, goods disappear off the back of the delivery truck. Mr. Norman wants to know who in his company is the orchestrator and, most of all, what they’re doing with his overpriced stock.”
Trouble in Paradise Page 8
