by Sara Crest
I crawled across the bed and sat next to him, running my hands up and down his back before burying my eyes into his shoulder.
“I know it’s wrong, I know it was wrong to ask you even if you felt no regret, but still… there’s no way I could ever thank you for what you’ve done. Every time he’s ever hit me, every time he’s ever shouted me down, every time he’s ever dragged me across the floor trying to rip my pants off, every time he’s ever climbed into bed with me… getting closer and closer to his goal each time. All the weight of everything he’s done to me and my family has left my body, and I know that it’ll never truly heal. I know that I’ll always carry around something with me, including being responsible for his death, but for the first time in my life I can breathe without fear. For the first time in my life I truly know that everything involving him is behind me.”
He looked at me and kissed me, I could still tell that something was wrong but I guess all I could do is stand by him and wait it out. I really wish there was a way to thank him. It felt like a 100lbs just lifted itself from my soul tonight.
“I’d hate to bring him up but… do you know if your stepfather had a brother?”
“I don’t think so, why?”
“It’s nothing, I was just being curious.”
Chapter Eighteen
(Sven)
I had the girl of my dreams and I just couldn’t be happy about it, I shouldn’t even be surprised at this point.
I leaned against my bathroom doorway and watched her sleep, I wanted to wake her up but with everything that went on in the past day I thought it would be better to let her rest.
“For the first time in my life I truly know that everything involving him is behind me.” That’s what she told me last night. I wish that was really the case.
Her not knowing if her stepfather had a brother or not led me to believe that John was hiding the fact from her, and why else would he hide his brother? I was starting to think it would be better to play it safe, if John really was who we thought he was then his brother would probably know by the end of the day. They would have been up here for a reason and if they didn’t report back then I’m sure this town would be flooded with Empire State Rollers in no time, I really doubt that John came all the way up here just to try and have his way with Emma. We had to let our brotherhood know the situation we were in so they could prepare down in Boston.
In frustration I slapped a water bottle sitting on my counter causing it to fly across the room, hitting the wall and causing Emma to stir but stay asleep.
“As if I needed more deaths on my conscious, now I get to go to sleep knowing my brothers will be dying for what I did. All to protect her.”
I looked at her while she slept, I still didn’t regret what I did, but I didn’t know what to do from here on out. I walked over to my front door, I had to go tell Barron my suspicions. As I closed the door behind me I looked at her again, thinking about the position we were in. For all I knew, we could be dead in a week. I was gonna make sure I enjoyed this girl as much as possible.
* * *
I had almost forgotten how good this really felt, the wind in my hair, a pretty girl’s arms wrapped around me, my hands firmly gripped on the handlebars. So many times I just used this thing as a tool to get around that I forgot what it was like to just ride.
“So where are you taking me?” I heard her call out from the back. I wish I could turn around and see her hair blowing in the wind, I’m sure she looked even more beautiful on the back of my ride, shame I couldn’t see it.
“Don’t worry, you’ll see” I yelled back to her.
I was taking her to a cabin that was deep in one of the woods near the town. It was actually the first place we had raided when Barron, Saul, and I came into town. By the time we busted down the door the only thing that was even left of the meth lab that used to be there was the odor, a few pipes, and a shirtless man who was too high to leave with the rest of them. We let him go, he just wandered off in the woods, we figured that he was too high to even know what was going on.
We had cleaned the place up afterwards and almost decided to live in it rather than get the apartments in town but living that close with each other would have driven us crazy. I figure since the place is already cleaned up it would be a nice place to actually take Emma while we wait for the Empire State Rollers to come in and turn this town into hell on earth.
I pulled onto a dirt road, our motorcycle tracks from when we first came here were still caked into the dirt.
Trees whizzed by us as we went deeper and deeper into the forest, it was almost as if we were entering into another world until finally we reached the cabin.
I got off of my bike and took a deep breath, taking in the smell and sounds of the forest. I always felt like I was home when I was out here.
“I’ve never been to this place” Emma said looking around. The forests around the cabin were so thick that you couldn’t hear or see any signs of other people, no wonder the meth cooks chose this place to make their product.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her into me, giving her a kiss before leading her to the cabin door. The place was so secluded that Barron, Saul, and I didn’t even bother to leave a lock on it.
I opened the door and pulled her inside, thank god the smell of the cook had left the cabin and we could actually smell the pine of the forests and the walls around us.
“Did we just break in?” Emma asked as she let go of my hand and started looking around.
“You just love asking questions don’t you?”
“Well I did want to be a journalist” she said with a smile.
I opened up one of the windows and looked outside, there really was something about this place that calmed me. Not just the cabin but everywhere around this town. The faces of the men that I killed didn’t torment me nearly as much since I got here, I knew it wasn’t that I was finally getting used to being a minuteman, I just felt more at peace.
I looked at her as she walked up to me and planted a kiss on my cheek, maybe it wasn’t just the town, maybe it was her as well. All I knew was for the first time in years I was starting to feel like my normal self again, I had almost forgotten what it felt like.
We leaned against the windowsill in silence as we listened to the unfiltered sounds of the forest; the birds whistling, the sound of sticks and fallen branches breaking under the hooves of deer, the creaking of trees that had become old from the wind and rain.
It was nice to get away from my world.
“Come on, I have something to show you” I told her, leading her away from the window and to the door.
I swooped her up off of her feet, she swung her head back laughing as I carried her down the hill from the cabin towards and old picnic area with something covered by a tarp.
I set her down and took the tarp off, revealing an older yellow dirt bike. We had found it back here after we raided the place, we assumed the meth cooks used it but we never found out where it was they actually went with it. It had rained the night before we raided so all the tracks had washed away.
“Oh” she said sounded disappointed as she ran her finger along the chassis and flicked away the dirt that had built up on her skin.
I chuckled “don’t worry this isn’t what I wanted to show you, it’s just a faster way to get there. Hop on.”
We got on and she held me tight, giving me a few soft kisses on the back of my shoulder before rubbing her hand up and down my abs.
I started the bike up, after a few sputters the engine came to life, scaring off the hundreds of birds that were in the trees above us. We looked up and watched the fly away as I revved my engine and sped off into the forest.
I hadn’t taken a dirt bike for a ride in a while but it came back to me naturally, I weaved around bushes and trees as I heard Emma laughing with joy behind me. I couldn’t remember the last time I made someone legitimately happy, after causing so much pain in this world it felt liberating to bring some joy to it.
&n
bsp; After a few minutes we broke through the treeline, I slid to a stop only a few feet away from what I wanted to show her.
She jumped off of the bike and ran towards it, a lake hidden completely in the middle of the forest. It wasn’t big, but it was private and for now it was ours.
“Jesus Sven you know more about the area around my town than I do, I don’t think anyone has been here in decades” she said as she dipped her toe in the water.
I took my t-shirt off, pulling it up over my head before tossing it to the side. I unbuckled my belt and let my pants fall to the ground before sliding my boxers down, there’s nothing more liberating than feeling a cool summer breeze against your naked body.
She turned from feeling the water to see me completely naked, she laughed as I saw her eyes wander all over my body, looking at me taking in the sunlight.
“What if someone sees you?” she asked still laughing.
“You said so yourself, it doesn’t look like anyone has been here in years. Now are you gonna join me or are you gonna wait here on land?”
“I’m not even sure if I can believe you” she said with a smile on her face “this sounds like you’re just tricking me into jumping in and getting wet.”
I looked over at a rock that led to a 10 foot drop into the water, nature had given us a perfect diving spot.
“You should know me well enough by now, I don’t half ass anything” I replied with a smile.
I ran up the rock and jumped off, doing a backflip and watching the world pass by me. In the brief moment I was falling it felt like the weight of the whole club was finally off of my shoulders, it felt like I was a carefree kid again.
I plunged into the water, feeling its chill all over my body as I sank deeper and deeper into the murky emerald green water. It was almost as if the water was trying to bring me back into reality, its cold was almost like a wakeup call. I shook the anxious thoughts out of my mind and tried to get my body accustomed to the temperature.
I hit the lake’s floor and kicked off, propelling myself upwards back towards the surface and feeling the rush of the water against my face and through my hair..
When my face hit the air I took a deep breath, turning to the shore to see Emma taking her clothes off so she could come and join me. I watched as she slowly revealed her curved hips, soft yet firm ass, toned stomach, and perky breasts as she shed off all of her clothes and walked up to the rock where I had just jumped off of moments before.
She cried out in joy as she jumped from the rock, covering her nose and closing her eyes as she hit the water and disappeared below. After a few seconds she found her way to the surface and appeared right next to me, shivering from how surprisingly cold the water was.
She wrapped herself around me for warmth as we waded near the shallow edges of the lake.
“Do you always do stuff like this?” she asked as I felt her shiver against me.
“In one way or another yeah” I said with a smile.
She pushed off of me and went to shore, until she could sit down on the ground with the bottom half of her body still submerged.
I watched the cold water run off of her skin and down her breasts as she tried to squeeze her hair dry. The cold had made her nipples perky, even with the cold water around my cock I could feel myself growing harder by the second as I watched her tits heave, jiggle, and bounce every time she squeezed the water out of her hair.
I swam up besides her, playfully splashing her as I let the warm sun begin to dry my soaking back.
“So you’re telling me that you’ve lived in this town for years and never knew about this place? Nobody from your school had secret skinny dipping parties after the year was over?” I said giving her a smirk.
“Trust me, if anyone knew about this place then I’m sure there would have been parties here every weekend in the spring.” She looked back through the treeline, trying to squint and see the cabin but unable to with how thick the forest was. “How did you find this place? I mean if people in town don’t know about it then it must be private property…”
“I’m sure it’s still owned” I replied to her. “The owners probably just haven’t been back in years, probably live out of state” I said, lying about what it was really used for.
I picked up a stone, feeling how smooth it was before skipping it across the water. “I found it when I accidentally made a wrong turn onto that dirt road, guess I was just lucky” I said lying. Yeah she knew what kind of person I was, but I didn’t need to ruin her good time by reminding her what I did for the Riders.
She smiled at me and leaned in, kissing me as the warm sun beat down on our half soaking bodies. The softness of her lips was a feeling I could definitely get lost in.
Chapter Nineteen
(Sven)
“What was your mother like?”
I turned my head and looked down at her, she was drying herself off with one of the blankets that she found in the cabin. She was looking through a dresser drawer but then turned to me and asking the question again “you said your mother was Swedish. What was she like?”
“That’s a sudden question isn’t it?”
She pulled something out of the drawer, it was an old black and white partially folded up photograph of a mother and daughter. No idea who the people were, I could only assume that they used to use this cabin back when it was first built.
I smiled looking at the photo, the mother almost looked like mine, almost. It was mostly the long hair and the warm and welcoming smile.
“I’m sure my mom was not that different from yours” I replied as I handed the picture back to her and brushed her hair out of her face.
“I would hope she’s much different than my mom, my mom… well she tried her best. At least I like to think she did.”
I looked in her eyes, it was so rare that someone actually asked me a question about my past or who I was. Hell I can’t remember the last time someone asked me about my folks.
“Like I said before, she came over to the US as a young Swedish girl. She only planned to stay here for a few a year or so, just to get a change of scenery.”
I paused for a moment, remembering my mother’s face. I had never told my full story to anyone, but I guess there was no better person to tell it to than the girl that stood there before me, staring at me like I was the most important person in her life.
“She met my dad on a trip from Philadelphia to Boston. They had a fling and a few months later I was born, at least that’s how my dad told me when I was younger. My mom didn’t want me growing up around my dad so she took me back to Sweden when her time in the US was up. I spent the first few years of my life there until she passed away from heart issues.”
“I’m sorry” Emma said pulling me closer and pressing her face against my chest.
“It’s ok, she went peacefully. That always helps me when I think about her. I’ll always remember how much she loved me, that’s something that sticks with you forever. I just wish I knew more about her.”
“What happened after she passed away?”
“Well when she died I came back to the US when I was still only a kid. I lived with my dad down in Boston, he treated my great but the first few years were tough. For starters I had to learn English, thankfully at that age language comes to you fairly easy, even my accent is gone which is probably a good thing since I was born here and I might as well sound like it. My dad was in the Freedom Riders doing the same thing I do now, he always shielded me from the club and was out a lot but he made time for me. I don’t know how he died but a few of the Riders took pity on me and did their best to try an keep me off the streets, they weren’t always successful. At my worst I had to steal just to eat, thankfully that was a very short period in time. As soon as I was old enough I joined the Freedom Riders, just like my dad.”
A gust of wind blew in through the window, bringing some cool fresh air into the otherwise warm cabin. I stopped talking just to enjoy it and I realized that it was the most I had ever spok
en about myself in my life, it felt good actually saying that stuff out loud.
“Have you ever thought about leaving?”
I didn’t want to answer it, I didn’t even want to think about it. It was a thought that’s been crossing my mind more and more since coming to this town and I wanted to block it out. Leave the Riders? After everything they’ve done for me and all that I’ve done to help? Just thinking about it made me feel like I was betraying my brothers. I couldn’t deny that I was realizing that there was no morality behind my killings, I couldn’t justify it to myself anymore, and I think that was why I was starting to resent the Freedom Riders, especially Walsh.
I looked at her, watching her eyes waiting for a response as another cool gust of wind came in from the window and blew her hair across her face. After all I went through to protect her wouldn’t getting her out of town be the best thing for her safety if the Empire State Rollers really did come in?
No, I got us into this mess and a man cleans up his messes. I didn’t need to leave my brotherhood just to make sure she was protected. I put a bullet in John and I’d put a bullet in his brother too, along with any other Empire State Roller that wanted to put a finger on her, they’d probably come right after her once they found out that I killed John because of her. I may be tired of killing but that doesn’t mean I won’t do it to protect her.
“Sounds like you want me to leave” I replied.
“Can’t say I wouldn’t like hopping on the back of your motorcycle and taking off with you. You know how much I want to leave this town.”
