by Regan Black
“Don’t go there, Rob.”
“Where?”
“You’re thinking you could be his full-time parent, right? Trust me, I’ve put myself through all the scenarios. It’s tough no matter what job you leave for in the morning. You’ll figure it out. Give yourself time.”
* * *
As Trina continued to train with Trail Hikers over the next month, she and Rob fell into a routine with Jake. Rob asked to split up the schedule as far as drop-off and pickup, and they went to his summer soccer league games together.
“It’s more like pee wee or bumblebee soccer.” They stood at edge of a small soccer field. Rob spoke from the side of his mouth, his gaze riveted on Jake in the early-evening light. Trina stifled a giggle.
“It’s not the World Cup, but the kids seem to really enjoy it.” Jake got the ball and started to dribble it stiltedly up the field for a few steps before he was swarmed by a half dozen other players, all no more than three feet tall. It was pure American little-kid soccer, and she loved it.
“He’s a natural. Look at how he’s able to maneuver it out of that group.” Rob sounded as though Jake was performing brain surgery instead of making his earliest attempts at playing the game.
“I have to admit that if this turns out to be his favorite sport it’s from your genes. I never wanted anything to do with running. I was a tree climber.”
Rob turned to her, his attention rapt. She still hadn’t gotten used to his intensity in a civilian, downright family setting.
“You’re still pretty good at climbing.”
“Hey, keep it G-rated, mister.” She slapped lightly at his upper arm, aware of the other parents checking them out. She was usually the lone single mother out here, with Nolan or one of her parents with her. Rob’s good looks and graceful physicality drew attention wherever he went, and in Silver Valley word traveled quickly. She wasn’t ready to explain exactly who Rob was in her life and what he meant to Jake. Not until Jake knew Rob was his father. Although their behavior lent itself well to the op, as an engaged couple.
“Relax. You care more than anyone else.” To prove his point he nuzzled her shoulder, bared by her tank top. The summer heat did nothing to her compared to Rob’s lips against her skin. He stood behind her and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist, waiting for her to let go and trust the moment.
They hadn’t made love again, but their kisses were becoming more frantic as the weeks wore on. Part of her wished Jake already knew Rob was his father, and that maybe, just maybe, she and Rob could agree to give their relationship a fighting chance.
She leaned back so that he’d hear her as the parents around them cheered on their little tykes. “I’ll let you get away with it this time. I trust you not to do anything too blatant.”
Trust. The illusive criterion for her to even begin to consider a serious relationship with Rob, beyond sharing parenthood. In his arms under the softly falling twilight, with fireflies sparking and cicadas singing, it seemed possible.
CHAPTER 12
The day finally arrived for Trina and Rob to show up at Silver Valley Community Church for the Community Hands Up committee meeting, scheduled for ten in the morning. Even her mother didn’t know she was doing this, and unless Carmen heard about it through the grapevine, Trina didn’t see a need to tell her or her father. There would be too many questions, and her mother would get those three lines across her forehead that were mom-speak for “Trina’s getting overextended again.”
It was different for her to dress as a suburban fiancée. Conservative enough to appear responsible but with enough flair to not be boring. Because of the summer heat she decided on a floral sundress with a short-sleeved white cardigan and her favorite multicolored beaded sandals. She’d sent Jake up to her parents in Williamsport, safely out of reach of what could become a dangerous mission in Silver Valley.
She and Rob had agreed to meet at TH headquarters first to read over any new intel reports before they headed out together to begin their first civilian mission. It was actually their second, but she didn’t count the ROC chaos in the Poconos as it hadn’t been planned.
Once at the headquarters building she made it inside, through several security devices that were biometric-as well as human-guarded, without trouble.
Rob stood in the middle of the entry foyer, looking as if he’d chosen his clothing with the same thoughts as her.
“Nice polo shirt.”
Rob feigned hurt. “Hey, this is my favorite color.” The rich butter yellow brought out his eyes, and she felt the familiar zip of sexual attraction. Familiar in that she associated this pounding heat with Rob. No other man had ever turned her on this easily, this effortlessly.
“It looks good on you. I’m only teasing.”
“That’s all right. You, by the way, look like a slice of heaven.”
She looked around to see who could overhear his compliment, but the receptionist appeared engrossed in something on her computer screen and no one else was in hearing distance.
“Relax. We’re supposed to be a couple, remember? I’m just getting prepped for it.”
“Should we go to one of our offices to go over what we’ll say?”
“Yes. Let’s get some coffee first, if you don’t mind. After you.” He followed her and they went to the lavish kitchen area that looked like it belonged in an issue of Architectural Digest. While the office building itself was all straight lines and contemporary design, the break area looked like a French country kitchen. Claudia was heating up something in the microwave and smiled warmly as she recognized them.
“Hey you two. Good luck today.”
“Thank you.”
“Thanks, Claudia.”
They spoke in unison, and Trina helped herself to the fresh brew, adding a good dollop of half-and-half to the black mug that had the Trail Hikers logo, a single pine tree with two hiking poles crossed over it, emblazoned in gold. Very subtle. No one would suspect they were anything but some kind of tourist agency related to the Appalachian Trail, which ran through Silver Valley.
“I look forward to your report.” The microwave dinged and she took out a bowl of oatmeal, her hands protected by a kitchen towel.
“I’m surprised her assistant doesn’t do that for her.” Trina wouldn’t have expected to see a former two-star general so at ease in the company break room.
“I’m not. She’s very down-to-earth and practical. She wouldn’t hesitate to ask her assistant to bring it to her if she were in the middle of an op or important meeting. But when she isn’t, she fends for herself. With Claudia, the mission always comes first. Well, that and her employees.”
“I picked up on that.” Trina had the clear impression that Claudia would never ask her to participate in a mission she wasn’t entirely comfortable with.
As they carried their coffees and two pastries back to Rob’s desk, Trina realized that she’d missed this. The easy way they fell into working side by side. Being with a man who understood her and didn’t think she was odd for having a lifelong desire to serve either in the military or law enforcement. The very few men she’d tried to date since Jake was born had been civilians and thought she’d want to “settle down” into a more “stable” job. What she’d wanted was a partner who’d accept her for who she was.
Rob always had, and even though he’d prefer she transition to a less dangerous position, he supported her in this op.
They started by reading the intelligence reports that had come in overnight via emails, courier delivery and texts. Trina almost dropped her cup of coffee when she read the worst news possible.
“Vasin escaped!” Quickly, she scanned the intelligence, absorbing that he’d gotten free while being transferred from one federal facility to another. Rob read the same information from his computer.
“ROC has endless money and contacts. That’s the only way this ha
ppened.” His mouth was grim, the lines around his eyes pronounced.
“Rob, he’s not coming after us, is he?”
“He may be. Thank God you sent Jake to his grandparents.”
The reality of their mission would have been frightening if Jake were still in Silver Valley. ROC’s information network was far reaching, but they’d be hard-pressed to find out exactly where Jake was.
Rob was already on his phone. “I need complete attention to this.” He gave her parents’ address and described Jake. “I’ll have his photo to you ASAP.” He disconnected and looked at her. “Trail Hikers security group. They’ll disperse agents immediately. We can’t trust local or even federal LEA. There’s a mole, probably more.”
“Jake. I have to go be with him.” She couldn’t think of anything else but protecting her son.
“You can’t, Trina. If Vasin’s after us, and you go to your parents’, you’ll lead them right to Jake. The best thing you can do is work with me. Let’s catch this bastard and save as many of the girls as we can.”
She wiped a tear off her cheek. “You’re right. I know Jake is safe, but this is different, isn’t it?”
“We’re in it together, babe. We’ll be back with Jake and Renegade in no time. And you won’t have to worry about Vasin.” He reached for her hand, and she gave it to him, along with her trust. This would work out.
“At least we don’t have worry about that silly dog.” She forced a laugh, but really, she was grateful she’d thought to send the dog with Jake instead of putting him in a kennel, because Jake needed someone, something familiar to comfort him. If anything happened to her or Rob—
No. Don’t go there.
“I, um, stopped by the department store on the way here.” She shoved her hand in front of him, a fake diamond solitaire on her left ring finger. “This is to make our cover more solid.” An unexpected well of sorrow overflowed from her regrets at what could have been, if Rob hadn’t been hurt in the war, and she blinked rapidly, cursing her emotions in the midst of work.
Rob’s free hand engulfed hers and infused her with warmth. “It’s okay. I get it.” His voice was huskier than normal and she peeked at him. His eyes held the same sadness as her heart. He regretted their past, too. But she also saw a twinkle.
Hope. A chance to heal.
“You do get it. Thank you.” She sniffed and wiped her nose with a tissue from her purse.
Rob tapped the side of his mug.
“Okay, let’s go over our plan one more time. We’ve got an hour until we have to be at the church, and it’s only five minutes away.” Rob placed his coffee on his desk and pulled out a chair for Trina to sit next to him. His computer was on a side table so they had a worktable between them, the surface spread with timelines and maps.
“I would have thought you’d be more into technology.” She fingered one of the larger maps of Silver Valley.
“Old habits die hard. My SEAL training always emphasized that with an EMP detonation, we’d lose all of our comms. Hard copy is always a good backup.”
“I agree.” She still hadn’t gotten into the habit of keeping notes on her phone as many of the newer, younger marshals did. A small notebook and pen were always in her purse or back pocket.
“We’ve picked the perfect time for this, as today is not only the welcome meeting but one of the days the outreach program goes both to the strip club for lunch, and the truck stop for dinner. We’ll say we took the day off work to help find our church home, and since we’ve been looking at SVCC we wanted to participate in one of its charity groups.”
“That’s fair. My mom and dad like SVCC when they’re in town. I don’t go every Sunday, but I’ve been trying to attend more now that Jake’s older.” She steeled her resolve as she met his gaze.
“I’m okay with that, Trina. I like the idea of my son, our son, having a familiar place to learn about something bigger than himself.”
“You surprise me. When I met you, you were agnostic.”
“And I may still be, but that doesn’t mean I want my kid to be any less educated or experienced in a traditional way. What religion it is or isn’t doesn’t matter to me as much as he’s learning right from wrong. Getting love from more than just his family. Kids only listen to parents so much, for so long.”
“Did you attend church while you were in foster care?” She spoke quietly, as if her words risked cracking open his bad memories.
“Yeah, it was the one good thing that the bastard who was my foster father did. He let his wife take us to church. It was an escape from his brutality and a place to relax and play like a kid. I did the children’s Sunday school and Vacation Bible School in the summers. As I got older I taught classes in both.”
“You’ve never mentioned if your foster family wanted to adopt you.”
“Are you kidding? Hell no. They wanted that regular check coming in from the government, and adopting me would end that.”
“So you knew you were just a paycheck to them?” Her heart hurt at the thought of anyone treating Jake like that. Rob had made it against all odds.
“Yeah. And I wasn’t stupid. I knew I was biding my time, too. Once I got too old for the old man to beat on me, because I’d grown taller than him, he continued with the verbal abuse. I knew they wanted the money my presence in their home brought each month, so I mouthed back to him. What was he going to do, kick me out? I spent very little time under their roof after I was fourteen or fifteen. It was a place to lay my head at night and claim as an address so that I could go to the public school in their district.”
“I’m so sorry you went through that.”
“Don’t be. It’s history.” Rob ended further discussion, and she let it go.
As they went through their notes, Trina studied him. She didn’t believe his childhood in foster care was all “history” for Rob. Not if he was so intent on saving underage girls. It was one of the reasons she loved him. His compassion and sense of justice.
Wait—had she just admitted she loved Rob?
* * *
Rob treasured that he didn’t have to tell Trina what this mission meant to him. What a thrill the possibility of being able to rescue underage girls from their sordid life was. Not an adrenaline rush, though that was there. It was more a sense of complete justice, of knowing he was using what he’d learned from his own rough and tumble experiences to reach out and lift someone else up. Being able to share this work with Trina elevated it to more than work or an op; this was his life’s calling.
He didn’t want to scare her off with his deep thoughts—they were shaking him up enough.
“We didn’t say if we’re going to say we live together or are engaged.” Rob casually wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked up to the church’s community room entrance. He loved that she didn’t move away or stiffen but relaxed into him. As if she, too, wanted this engagement to be more than an undercover op.
“Either one works. Maybe with Jake in the picture, and since so many of these parishioners know my family, we should say engaged. To keep it looking serious.”
“What will we tell them later, after the op?” He wanted her to want what he did.
Her spine stiffened, and now she moved away from him, stopping the middle of the walkway. Trina’s eyes sparked with defensiveness. “Relationships end. It shouldn’t be such a shock to anyone.”
“They’ll eventually find out I’m Jake’s father. Everyone will.”
“What do you want from me, Rob? Yes, everyone will know that you’re Jake’s father, but not until you and I tell him. We haven’t even sat down with my family yet.”
“I don’t see why your family needs to be involved in this.” He spoke too quickly and wished he could suck the words back in. “Trina, I don’t mean they aren’t important. You know me, it’s my hang-up. I’m not used to having a family that cares so much about
me.”
“You’re not used to family, period. If you’d been raised differently I doubt you’d have walked away from me and Jake five years ago without a word. You’d have used your brain to see that there was a good chance it was your kid.”
Red-hot anger flared deep in his chest, and he wanted to lash out. Not at Trina—never at Trina—but at the world and life. He breathed in and out, counting backward from twenty before he replied.
“I deserve that. However, I can’t do a damn thing to change my distant or recent past. I can only change today and going forward. You know what my plan is, Trina—I’ve made it clear that I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for Jake for the rest of my life.”
Her stony expression eased a bit and he knew he’d cornered her, put her on the defensive by mentioning how his relationship with Jake was sacred to him. Again. No matter how frustrating it was for him to have to keep repeating his intentions, he had to remember that Trina had suffered the most of anyone in this hot mess. Jake hadn’t missed what he didn’t have, and Rob had known Trina was alive and well.
Trina had grieved his death, birthed their son and started her life over.
“You’ve got no reason to trust me ever again, Trina. And yet you’re here, ready to put your life at risk to save the lives of innocent girls. I don’t expect it to happen overnight, but if you could extend a little bit of the working trust we share to our personal relationship, it would be easier on both of us.”
“That’s fair.” Her annoyance was clear in the lines around her mouth, but at least she didn’t walk away or change her mind about working with him.
“Thank you.”
“I know your childhood was messed up, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re a good father. You’ve already invested more in your son over the past month than a lot of dads do during an entire lifetime. And I’m not ignorant, either. I know that Jake could be a shiny new toy for you, one that you’ll grow weary of putting all of your effort into. But that’s not you. I do trust you, Rob. I’m just not very good at showing it.”
