by Brenda Ford
“Okay look, maybe it’s best for you to know that Maria is still out there.”
“What?” I shriek in shock. “Is this aa fucking joke? Are you kidding me? They didn’t catch her?”
“Do you not remember her running off as soon as the cops turned up?” I shake my head. My memories obviously don’t extend that far. “Well, she did and now they are hunting for her.”
“How has she managed to escape for so long? Why didn’t they get her right away?”
No one has an answer for me, which only makes this a million times worse. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut to see if there is something that I can remember to make this easier. The information has to be there inside my brain somewhere. I just need to search for it. I need to scratch through all the fuzziness and find the truth.
“Who is watching Tami?” I suddenly demand. “Why are you all here? If Maria is still out there and she is after Tami, then someone needs to be with her. She could get attacked again, couldn’t she?”
“She isn’t by herself,” Oliver insists. “Her terrifying friend is with her. Ruby?”
“Is that enough though? What if she comes at her again? With no one to protect either of them there is no telling what might happen. Maria could… well, who the hell knows? That bitch is crazy.”
“They are at the police station, Brad. Nothing will happen there. They are fine. Then they’ll be here.”
Hmm, he sounds confident, but I’m not convinced. I don’t think that Tami will come back here. This is heavy shit, much too heavy for me at thirty five years old. Never mind Tami, who is only twenty two. She’s too young to be going through all of this crap, to deal with this drama. This is probably the time that she needs to walk away from the situation. I hope that she doesn’t, but I can’t blame her if she does. If she wants a normal life.
“Can someone talk to her?” I beg. “Send a message or something? I just want to know that she’s alright.”
“I’m on it,” Angelo reassures me. “You don’t need to panic as much as you are, Brad. She’s fine. She’s tough.”
“I know that, but I have also been on the receiving end of Maria and I’m scared. I’m scared for everyone”.
I lean my head back on the pillow and allow my eyes to fall closed once more. As I do, words flood my mind: “I love you too, Brad. Even if it is nuts and far too soon. I do. I haven’t ever felt this way about anyone, and I know that I never will again. You are everything to me. My world. This time with you has been the best of my life. Even with all the drama. I wouldn’t give it up for anything.” I remember them so clearly, Tami telling me how she feels in the middle of everything. Both of us finally confessing our love to one another. It felt good at the time. A bit of happiness in the hell that lay in front of us… but it might not have been anything else but that. Words spoken in a stressful situation. Or she could have meant them, but it might not be enough.
“Go and get the nurse,” I growl out angrily. “I want someone to see me, to clear me to leave because I need to get out here right now before something else happens out of my control.”
“I don’t know if they’re going to let you go right away…” Wesley offers, but I glare at him. “Okay, okay, I’m going now.” He holds his hand up in a surrendering gesture. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
I let out a little growl which sends him away. My other brothers remain in a stilted silence around me as we wait, probably afraid to even step on the egg shells for fear of driving me mental, but that doesn’t feel like the most important thing right now. With so much up in the air and no chance of answers, I can’t calm down.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Tami
“You did well, sweetie,” Ruby comforts me as I exit the police station with tears staining my cheeks. “You told them everything that they needed to know and more. You did good.”
“It isn’t enough though, is it?” I cry out. “Because she’s still out there. And it’s my fault as well. If I had just done something to stop her from getting out. But I didn’t. I couldn’t move quick enough which is stupid. It isn’t an excuse, is it? I should have just grabbed her ankle or something. I just… I thought that they would stop her.”
“Shh, shh,” Ruby does her best to reassure me. “You shouldn’t blame yourself. Not when you haven’t done anything wrong. You seem to forget that you were badly injured and terrified. Probably really tired as well. You hadn’t slept for a long time. You can’t blame yourself for anything that happened. You were just trying to survive. You can’t feel any guilt for it. It isn’t right. No one else will blame you.”
Her words are nice, and I know what she’s trying to do, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. I just feel like utter shit. Even unloading everything that I can remember on the police and leaving them to sort it out doesn’t assist me. I’m utterly drained, emotionally exhausted by it all. I just want it to be over.
“Ruby, I just don’t know what to do now.” I lean against her, needing her support. “My head is all over the place. I was feeling all screwed up before, but now it’s a million times worse.”
“Of course it is. Why wouldn’t you feel that way? Ever since you and Brad started dating it’s been drama. And not just the normal sort of drama, but serious issues. Anyone would want to run away.”
“What would you do?” I ask her desperately. “I know it isn’t something that you can relate to because you’re in such a normal relationship, but if you were me then what would you do? Would you run?”
She shrugs. “I can’t give you any answers. I wish that I could just tell you what to do, but I can’t. It’s entirely up to you. All I know is that I haven’t ever seen you as happy as this before. He lights you up.”
I really think about this knowing that it’s true. He does. Especially when things are calm and normal between us. But if Maria is still out there, then are we ever going to have that chance? Can we ever just have that life that we keep dreaming of? Or is the world just trying to tell us that it won’t happen? That it will always be tumultuous.
Ruby moves me towards a bench, and we take a seat outside the police station. I’m glad for this because it means that I can take a little while longer to get my thoughts in order. Right now, I’m in an absolute state.
“He told me that he loves me, Ruby. Just before the ambulance turned up.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” she replies. “And I’m sure that you feel the same way too.”
“But it’s too soon, isn’t it? Too soon for me to feel that way about him. Him too.”
“Who said?” Ruby shrugs, totally unbothered by this suggestion. “Who makes the rules?”
“I don’t know, it’s just… it’s quick, isn’t it? Maybe this is just because we haven’t had a proper honeymoon phase. We haven’t been allowed to have that, so maybe that’s why. Our feelings are all mixed up.”
“Is that really what you think?” Ruby cocks an eyebrow at me. “Or not? That’s what you need to work out.”
I sigh loudly. “I think I meant it; you know. When I said it. I think I do love him, whether it’s too soon or not. I definitely meant it. I have fallen in love with him. This isn’t anything like what I had with Daniel. It’s so much better. But that’s not to say that it doesn’t scare the living shit out of me.”
“Honey, it scared the living shit out of me when I fell in love as well. But I didn’t let that stop me and it turned out to be the best thing that I ever let happen to me. Now, I’m happy as anything.”
She’s right, but her situation was so much different to mine. She isn’t in something complicated. Her love story is a nice and straight forward, and it will probably continue to be so forever.
“I don’t know if Brad feels the same way for real though, and I think that’s why I’m so hesitant. Can you imagine how embarrassing that it would be if he doesn’t and I do?”
“He might be worried about the same thing, you know. If he’s even awake now.”
He�
��s been waking up over and over again, but only a little bit. Not enough to get any real communication for him, which I suppose is a good thing really. I wouldn’t know what to say to him right now.
“Oh, hold on.” As if I have conjured him up just by thinking about him in that hospital, my cell phone rings. “It’s Angelo. He might be about to tell me that Brad is up now.” I hit answer. “Hello?”
“Hey, Tami, are you all done with your police interview now?” I make an agreeable sound. “Good, I hope it all went okay. Erm, Brad is awake now and he’s worried about you. I’m just calling to confirm to you that everything is okay. He’s panicked because he doesn’t like you being out there alone.”
My chest tightens, I feel a bit sick about the whole thing. I’m hardly surprised that Brad is worried because he was with me throughout it all. But hearing those words only reminds me how serious this is.
“Yeah, well I’m with Ruby, aren’t I? So, you can tell him that I’m fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Are you going to come here? I’m sure he would love to see you right now.”
The urge to see him too claws at me, it gnaws painfully in my stomach. I would love to hold his hand, to touch his skin, to hear his loving voice. But I’m so scared of how it might go. What if he tells me that he regrets everything that he said? Then I will be absolutely gutted and humiliated. I don’t know if I can face this in my current emotional state. I’m not in the right frame of mind for it.
“I’m shattered, Angelo, I think… if it’s okay with you guys, that while Brad has his brothers around him, I might head home and get some sleep. I really… yeah, I really do need to have a rest.”
That’s actually true. I am absolutely exhausted, so at least this isn’t a total lie.
“Are you allowed back home? What with all the evidence being there…”
“The police said that I can. I think they have taken everything that they need. It might be a big mess though…”
Urgh, I cannot think about that right now, it might crush me. It’s not that I care so much about my stuff being destroyed. It sucks, but at least I’m alive. I just don’t like the idea of the memories. It sends a shiver up and down my spine… yet, it’s still much less terrifying than the idea of facing Brad.
“We will stay here,” Angelo replies. “You don’t need to worry about Brad being alone. But remember, I am here for you too. I can help you if you want me around. Anything…”
“You’re a good person, Angelo. I appreciate that a lot. I will let you know.”
We say our goodbyes and hang up the phone, before I turn to see the strange expression on Ruby’s face.
“You don’t want to go and see Brad?” she asks. “That seems a little… weird.”
“I just want to go home. To get my life back on track. To get my apartment back and to forget that this ever happened. I also want to get some sleep; I wasn’t lying about that. I’m shattered.”
“Well, I will come with you,” Ruby insists. “I will help you tidy the place up.”
I haven’t got the energy to argue with her, so I simply nod. I allow her to take me back home and check the place out, and as soon as we step inside, I’m glad. Despite the cops taking the evidence that they need, it’s a mess. It looks like a tornado has ripped through here which makes me weep seriously hard. I practically collapse at the state of it. Luckily, I have Ruby to lean against and I’m not by myself. She can hold me upright.
“It’s okay, I’m here for you,” she shushes me. “We can get this done together, okay?”
I nod and agree with her, but deep down I can feel something sliding over me. The realization of just how intense this is. This is the sort of shit from movies and books, not real life, and sure as hell not my life. Yet here I am, facing just this. My life in God damn danger because I fell in love with the wrong person.
“There we are,” Ruby says quietly as she tucks me into bed like a child. “Are you okay?”
“I think so.” My eyes blink hard. The sleepiness is really coming for me now. “I’m so exhausted though.”
“I know, I know, you must be,” she coos sympathetically. “But at least we got your apartment done. I don’t think that you would be able to relax if you had to face that in the morning. If anyone needs sleep right now, it’s you.” She cocks her head to one side and gives me a curious look. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”
“No, no you don’t have to do that. You have already done so much for me. You need to get home.”
She doesn’t like it; I know she doesn’t. Ruby is desperate not to let me be here alone, but I don’t want to start being looked after all the time. If Maria is never caught, then I can’t spend my whole life being paranoid. She would have to be seriously crazy to come back here again when the police are after her…
“Please, Ruby, it’s fine. You don’t have to worry. I am going to be okay.”
“I can just sleep on the couch, that’s all. It won’t be an issue.”
“Ruby, I am fine. I’m just going to sleep, that’s all. I will call you as soon as I wake up in the morning. Then you can come and look after me then if you still want to.”
“Maybe we will go to the hospital then?” she asks. “If I come with you?”
My smile thins because I’m really not sure what to do with this. “Maybe. We’ll see how I feel.”
“Of course. Whatever you want. I don’t want to push you into anything. I just want you to be happy.”
I stare up at the ceiling, unsatisfied as she leaves, no longer quite so able to just drift off anymore. I need to work out just what I’m going to do with me and Brad. We could be a happy ever after, the potential is there, but if the rest of the world isn’t going to let us, then how can we keep fighting? It isn’t like this for other people. Ruby and Chelsea have it easy. It isn’t supposed to be this way.
This needs to be the turning point of us. I need to really decide whether it’s worth carrying on fighting for us or if I want a normal life. If I chose against, I guess I will have to go for another job as well because I can’t remain working with him, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Brad
Hospitals are loud at night. That’s the one thing to really hit me. There is always a lot of activity going on. Almost as much as during the day. Nurses, milling about, doctors, chatting to patients, patients, suffering dramas… it’s damn near impossible to get any sleep. All I can do is stare at the ceiling and wait. I don’t know what I’m waiting for really. Morning, to get out of here, for news? I don’t know.
I huff with irritation. It’s claustrophobic in here. I want to be out in the world finding out what’s going on. I don’t know what is happening with Tami and that scares the shit out of me. But the doctors aren’t ready for me to leave right now. They say I am not quite stable enough for them to be sure.
I sent all of my brothers away because their chattering was getting too much for me. I wanted some silence, but now the silence is too much for me. I need some noise to calm me the hell down. Why hasn’t Tami come in to see me yet? That’s what I find really troubling. There’s a reason for it. If it were the other way around, I would be absolutely desperate to see her. Nothing would keep me away.
I turn on to my side and stare at the wall, just for a change of scenery. I think a nurse will be in to see me soon, so there isn’t any point in even trying to get to sleep now. I might as well just remain with my eyes open.
“Brad?” A female whisper makes me jump. It could be a nurse, but they are more likely to call me Mr. Smith, so my mind immediately jumps elsewhere. It could be Tami, coming to see me at last. “You awake?”
I turn over to the other side with a giant smile on my face, expecting to find myself looking at a beautiful blonde, but instead it’s a red head. The one red head I never want to see again.
“Maria,” I hiss angrily while pushing myself in to a sitting position. I don’t like being vuln
erable around her. It scares the living shit out of me. “What the fuck are you doing here? Aren’t the cops after you?”
She smirks, proud of herself. “I’m too smart for the police. Haven’t you worked that out by now?”
“Not really, since you have come here, basically to the scene of the crime.”
She rolls her eyes and snorts. “There aren’t any crimes here, Brad. Just love.”
“Are you seriously still saying this? You really think love looks like this? Give it up, Maria. In fact, I am pressing the call button right now and getting a nurse in here.”
“You want someone else to wind up hurt?” Those words are the only things that can stop me. She has shown that she is more than capable of harming people who she considers in her way. “That’s what I thought. Now, I don’t want to be here talking about what happened or any other people, I am here to discuss me and you.” She perches on the edge of the bed. It takes everything that I have not to lash out and kick her. “What happened was regrettable, I have to admit that. I’m sorry for what happened at that girl’s apartment…”
“Which part?” I interrupt coldly. “Stabbing me? Hurting Tami? Running away?”
“Hurting you, of course. I don’t mind hurting that other chick because I didn’t do her any real damage and she needed to learn that so she can keep away from you, allowing us to be together. And I didn’t have any choice but to run away from the cops either. Otherwise they would have locked me up, just like you said. I don’t know how long they would put me in jail for and who knows how many skanks will come between me and you then?”
Just as I’m about to give her some shit for acting like a crazy bitch again, she bursts into tears. Thick, sobbing tears like nothing I have ever seen from her before. I have seen the sultry version, the hard ass version, the stalker version… but no emotion like this. This is something else from Maria.
