by Pace, Pepper
The twins had taken the news well and Scotty realized that they had been just waiting for that inevitable ending all along. He thought EJ would hate him for their circumstances but instead the boy had given him a hug in an uncharacteristic move.
Erica had told him not to worry about them anymore. And then she had told him she loved him and had rushed out the room with EJ following his sister, trying to catch up to her.
“I’m going to wait to tell Ginger and Tyrone. Miss Gloria said she’d keep them both.”
Vanessa suddenly liked the woman more than she had one day before. She wasn’t a saint, she was just a human being. But she was a lifeline for this family and for that Vanessa would always respect her.
Scotty stroked the soft curls of her hair. “They will be okay. We Tremonts’ are pretty damn tough.”
Her arms slipped around his waist. “Yes you are.”
“But we have to talk about us.”
Her eyes locked onto his.
“I’m not going anywhere Scotty. I’ll wait for you-“
He shook his head and cupped her face in his hands. “Oh babe, please don’t say that. I want you to listen to me very closely sweetheart.
“When I was a kid I knew that I would never be like the people on television—people who had a mother and father and a comfortable home. I knew that I was going to sell drugs. I didn’t have any dreams of being anything different.”
Vanessa covered his hands on her face with her own.
“Then I met you Vanessa—just another little sister that needed to be looked after. But you were different. It’s not something I can describe because it’s not just because you had a beautiful singing voice. Vanessa, you were different. Like … we had some type of connection that allowed me to see inside of you. I’m pretty sure that you could see inside of me as well.”
“You’re my soul mate,” she said with no hesitation.
Scotty nodded. Yes. That was what he felt as well. “There is something in you that makes you stand out. And it’s what makes you good.” He frowned. “Maybe I had that too. But I lost it-“
“Scotty-“ she tried to interrupt but he touched his forehead with hers and continued to speak.
“It came back, once I met you. What made me good came back. You brought it back in me. I think that’s your gift Vanessa. You can touch people with your heart and if you put your heart in your singing or your acting than I have no doubt that you will be a success at it.
“But if you sit here in the projects of Winton Terrace you will lose it, too Vanessa. You will lose your opportunities to use your gift.”
“Scotty.” Vanessa pulled back, her hands still on his as they cradled his face. She saw that his eyes were bright with unshed tears. “If you think that I’m going anywhere than you’re wrong! I can’t. I can’t let you go! It doesn’t mean that I can’t act and sing. I can still be your woman-“
Scotty shook his head and kissed her lips and nose. “You can’t be my woman because I can’t be your man. Not when I’m in prison. Nothing would hurt me more than knowing that you’re barely eighteen years old and have set your entire life with someone who can’t be there for you.”
“Scotty-“
He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Listen. Hear what I’m saying. Your lost possibilities will haunt me. Don’t you know that about me, yet? Don’t you know that I’m not just giving you lip service? If you become a prison fiancée, than you’re not doing it for me but for yourself. Every time you visit me I’ll be reminded that you are somewhere you should never be!”
Vanessa pulled his hands free of her face. She looked out into the night. “You want to break up.” She finally said.
He looked out into the night along with her. “I want to let you go.”
Scotty quit his job at the pizza place and though he didn’t give Vanessa a reason, she knew that it was because he had given up hope and was preparing to serve time.
Wanting to spend as much time with him as possible, Vanessa quit her job as well. But she felt hurt by his desire to push her away. Sometimes she wanted to curl up in his arms and stay that way—and other times she wanted to retreat with her tail between her legs like a wounded animal.
Knowing that he was most proud of her when she was strong, she showed him her strength and tried to subconsciously share her belief that the attorneys were wrong. They could not separate them after she’d waited so long to find him.
And as far as him letting her go—she would have none of it! She told him that he was hers and she had so little. She would never give up something so precious.
Never.
Things between them remained strained with Scotty fearful of not just his own prison sentence but the one that he was sure to heap upon those that he loved.
Vanessa felt relieved when Scotty told her that he was going to take Ty to visit their mother. She needed time to get a grip on her own emotions. She told him that she would spend the time turning in her uniform and picking up her last paycheck. Also the post office had some mail for them that hadn’t been forwarded.
Scotty knew it was a lot that he was laying on Vanessa and wanted to give her some time alone. Also, he wanted to spend some time with his little brother. Tyrone loved riding in the Beemer and Scotty needed to say goodbye to his mother. By the time he got out of jail Tracy would probably no longer be alive.
Scotty had accepted the fact that he would be spending some hard time in prison. He tried not to think too hard about it, about how close he had come to gaining all of his dreams. No one needed to know that deep down he was barely keeping it together. Deep down he was afraid, angry and so sorry that he had let everyone down.
He buckled his brother in the passenger seat and then drove them to a Kwiky Mart for candy. Afterwards they went to the care facility that his mother had been living.
Tyrone had no memory of going hungry and having dirty diapers that didn’t get changed because his mother was always either out prostituting or too high.
Tyrone’s memories were of living with his grandmother and having hot meals and a warm bed to sleep in. He went to church and was taught with loving care by someone who did it out of love and not just necessity.
But Scotty knew that one-day Tyrone would want to know who the person was that had given birth to him. And by the time he was old enough to make the decision on his own to visit her she would be long dead of the AIDS virus that was now ravaging her immune system.
When they were buzzed into the building Tyrone took Scotty’s hand. The small boy liked to pretend to be big like his brothers—and in so many ways he was, but he didn’t like coming here. He didn’t know the scary woman that they visited even though he realized that she was their mother. He didn’t understand a lot of things like why his mother was white and he was black and his brother was white and his grandma was black. It didn’t make sense but he accepted it as fact. He accepted that once every few months he had to visit the scary lady.
Scotty signed them in at the receptionist desk while Tyrone clutched the bag of candy instead of his brother’s hand. The lady—their mother liked candy. Scotty took his hand again and Tyrone felt relieved. They boarded the elevator with two ladies who were wearing doctors’ clothes. One looked at him and winked and he responded with a solemn nod of his head.
When they got off the elevator, the two brothers came to another nurse’s station where Miss Jennings, the nurse on duty told them good morning and talked to Scotty for a minute about their mother.
They walked down a corridor that looked like one that would be found in an apartment complex. There was even faded but clean grey/blue carpeting that had seen better days. Scotty knocked on one of the doors before letting them in.
It smelled like hospital in the room and Scotty released his hand as he ushered Tyrone inside. It was cool and he could hear the sound of a window fan.
The room they had entered resembled a small efficiency apartment. There was a beige couch and a matching reclining chair with m
atching end tables. A television set was on top of a table that contained a VCR and stereo. It opened up to a galley kitchen that had room for a dinette table, a narrow refrigerator and a small two-burner stove.
Tyrone knew there was a small bathroom that looked like it should be in a hospital because there were metal hand-holds in the tub and at the toilet. There was also a sick smelling bedroom but today they would not need to go there because Tracy was sitting in her wheelchair watching The Price is Right on television.
When she saw them a broad smile covered her gaunt face.
“My boys! Hi. Come in!” Scotty came forward and kissed her cheek and dutifully Tyrone did the same.
Tracy was oddly beautiful in a ghostly, willowy way. Certainly she was more beautiful than she had been while working the streets despite the fact that she did not, at that time, carry the virus that she would eventually pass on to the father of two of her children.
Her eyes lit up as she stroked Tyrone’s curls and beamed at him. “Hi my big boy. How are you?”
“Fine,” he replied politely.
She looked over at Scotty and smiled even wider.
“He’s so polite.”
Scotty smiled also and agreed while Tyrone wondered how they had figured all of that out with just that one little word.
“You guys want something to drink? I’m afraid that I don’t have much. I drink juice and this icky stuff to help me gain weight. But I do have cartons of apple juice. They send me that from meals on wheels even though I probably have a collection of the stuff turned to wine by now.”
Scotty sat down on the edge of the armchair across from her and Tyrone squeezed himself in next to him.
“We just ate. How are you doing mom? Miss Jennings said that you’ve been coughing a lot. Are you getting a cold?”
Tyrone studied the scary woman as she and Scotty talked about medicine and other things he didn’t understand. Every once in a while she would wink at him and his eyes would get big in surprise that he’d been caught staring. She looked like Scotty, which helped, except that she didn’t have yellow hair. Hers was brown and kind of pretty. She was skinny, like a skeleton and he didn’t think she could walk because she was always either in the wheel chair or in bed. When she was in bed she would have a tube in her nose and her eyes would be very tired.
“How soon?” Tracy asked quietly.
“December,” Scotty said.
Tyrone saw his mother rub her lips and her eyes looked sad. She saw him watching and she smiled at him.
“What’s in your bag?” She asked.
He looked at Scotty for confirmation that it was okay to give it to her and Scotty nodded.
“We got you some candy.”
“Oh? What kind?”
“Candy corn and a Butterfinger.”
Tracy held out her hand and he gave her the entire bag. “Thank you.” She watched him and her eyes began to look sad again. He decided that he didn’t like when she was sad. He reached into the bag and opened the small package of candy corn and then handed her one.
She popped it into her mouth and the sadness began to fade. “These are my favorite candies.”
Tyrone nodded. “That’s what Scotty said.” He didn’t like them but he did eat one because she would want him to.
They stayed for only a while longer and as they were getting ready to leave he pulled his hand from Scotty and hugged her. She felt like sticks and dry skin and she smelled like medicine but her arms as they returned the hug felt strong and firm.
Tyrone didn’t need to hold Scotty’s hand as they left. He turned and waved at her and she blew him a kiss.
He never saw his mother again.
Chapter Thirteen
When Vanessa walked out of the post office she was clutching two letters, both reminders of what she and Scotty had lost all because of a series of bad events stemming from her need to follow him while he was trying to take care of a situation that he should have never been involved in.
One was a letter from the hospital where she’d taken a lab test for the drug that Donald had slipped into her beer. She didn’t even care about that anymore. He was dead. And at the way things were going, it might work against them, proving that she was just another factor in this stupid drug business.
The second was a letter from the admissions board of the university. Damn. Scotty would have been starting college the winter session.
Vanessa carried them into the house and placed them on the dresser in their bedroom for Scotty to open them if he wanted to know any of the information contained in the letters.
That night they made love as if it was the first and last time.
“Don’t, Scotty,” she cried out when he reached for the second condom. “Don’t put it on.”
He settled between her parted legs, using his elbows not to squish her. He left the condom where it was but looked into her brown eyes, reading her desire.
“No.” Was his simple statement. “No, I won’t leave you with a baby-“
She pushed at him and when he didn’t move off her she slapped him and punched him until finally he rolled off her.
Vanessa jumped out of bed, pulling the bed sheet around her nude body.
“God damn, Scotty!” She glared at him as he sat up in bed, nude and with nothing to cover himself. He didn’t move to get up to dress and even in her anger and disappointment, Vanessa could not help yearning for him. He was beautiful.
His hair was a wild mess of blond locks that fell in a face that remained calm because he always had reason on his side. His damned logical mind had calculated the collateral damage and over-ruled it. And that was that.
“For once can’t you just … REACT?! Do you have to think every fucking thing down to its most common denominator?”
He sighed and wouldn’t look at her then. “You want a baby? You want to be a single mother at eighteen-“
“I want to have your baby, Scotty! Why can’t you just see that sometimes desire is just as important as your fucking logic?!”
He finally climbed out of bed. His dick bobbed and was still hard and thick, jutting out before him like a club surrounded by dark golden pubic hair. Ignoring his desire, he pulled on sleep shorts.
“This time I’m not thinking for you or about you.” He spoke.
She gave him a confused look. He walked out the bedroom to take a cold shower but paused to look at her.
“I’m thinking about my kid. Because God knows we don’t need another Tremont born with a deadbeat father. I won’t do that to my own kid. And Vanessa,” his brow drew together, “you should take a minute to remember what it was like not having a father around.”
He lightly closed the door after himself and took that cold shower while Vanessa mulled over his words.
After that, sex between them didn’t happen. Vanessa knew that Scotty was right but she wouldn’t apologize because she couldn’t forget that there was a chance that she would never get another opportunity to have his child. And even if she was selfish in wanting a piece of their love in the form of a little baby, she couldn’t help that. So she wouldn’t apologize and at night when they fell asleep without touching she stubbornly refused to acknowledge her need and he would not ask her to give what she didn’t do so freely.
J. Alexander Rosenthal was now their attorney. Vanessa’s five thousand dollars, which she had used on Scotty’s bond would pay his fees and leave her a little extra to get … well she didn’t want to think about what she would need to do in order to get her life moving forward after the trial. Right now, all she would think about is that Scotty had saved her and a bad person had been killed in the process. The judge had to see that.
“Was it ever confirmed that Mr. Miller slipped a drug into your drink?” Mr. Rosenthal asked her.
She and Scotty exchanged looks. They were sitting in comfortable leather chairs across from his desk.
“We went to the hospital the day after and they took blood.” Scotty stated. “But we ended up moving
without following up. But I know she was drugged based on how she acted.”
“I have a letter back home from the lab. I can bring it to you.”
Mr. Rosenthal made some notes. “I’m not sure how helpful it will be. Predator drugs are often times used recreationally. And depending on what it is, it won’t prove that he slipped it to you, only that you were under the influence of the substance.”
“I’ve never taken drugs.”
Mr. Rosenthal looked at her to see if she was being serious. “Unfortunately that doesn’t matter.”
“You have the pictures of her bruises.” Scotty said.
“Yes, that along with knowledge of the drug might help, especially if he used something like Rohypnol—which is a known predator drug and something unlikely to be used recreationally.”
When they drove back home Vanessa looked out the window. Thanksgiving was just a few days away and she thought about sharing it with Scotty, Miss Gloria and the other Tremonts while her grandmother spent it alone.
She would call her--at least to wish her a happy Thanksgiving.
“Are you okay?” Scotty asked.
“Yeah. Just thinking about grandma.”
“Vanessa,”
She looked at him warily. His tone told her that he was about to say something that she wouldn’t like. She swore that if he had something to say then she would listen first and then fly off the handle afterwards. She was tired of always being the unreasonable one in their relationship.
“You should move in with your grandmother after the trial.”
“No.” She said flatly.
“I know that things have been strained between you two but she loves you and you love her.”
“I’m an adult and if I move back with her I’ll constantly be a child in her eyes.” She looked at Scotty and her words softened. “I know I can’t stay with Miss Gloria once she moves from the house.”
“She won’t kick you out-“
“She won’t have to. I’m not going to be a burden on her. Besides, I have time to consider … the future. But not right now, Scotty. I don’t want to do this right now.”
