by L. A. Fiore
“What does that mean?” Kade demanded.
He felt her hand move in his, his head whipping around to her. Her eyes jerked under her lids. “Molly, Baby, open your eyes.” His tears dripped on her cheek. “Please, Baby, let me see you.”
Her eyes fluttered opened, saw him, her hand moved in his, before she slipped back into sleep.
“What just happened?” Kade looked back to see Molly’s parents crying and the doctor smiling. “Tell me!” he roared.
“She heard you,” the doctor whispered. “She came back.”
For the second time in his life, his legs crumbled, as he fell into the chair at her side, dropped his head on her stomach and let the emotions out.
Twenty-Three
Molly...Two weeks later
Mom hugged me hard, and then Dad hugged me again. They hadn’t stopped hugging me since I woke up. “I’ll see you soon,” I said.
Dad touched my cheek. There were tears in his eyes. He’d been having trouble with words, which was why he was resorting to hugging. He found some then. “You scared us, Molly.”
I’d scared all of them. I was just beginning to understand how much. Zac cried, when he showed up in my room, after clearly running to get to me. He took one look, dropped on the chair at my side, his head hit my stomach, and he cried, like shoulders shaking cried. It was the first time I’d ever seen him breakdown.
Ethan and I had a talked one night. He had a unique perspective because he’d been there. We’d always been friends, but we’d formed a bond that night.
I tried to comfort all of them, tried to get them past the horror, but in their shoes, I knew it was going to take time.
“I’m here.” I glanced up at Kade who hadn’t left my side, not just in the past two weeks, but I was sure in the last six months. “I’m going to be a woman of leisure.”
Kade’s beautiful eyes smiled, but I saw the shadow behind them, the pain. It broke my heart.
Dad’s eyes got bright. “I want you to do what’s best for you, but I can’t lie. That makes me so damn happy.”
I hugged Dad, again, and reached for my mom to pull her into it. “I can’t imagine what these last months have been like for you, but I’m okay. You’ll see. We’ll get past this.”
“We know,” Mom said, placing her palm on my cheek. “It’s just going to take some time.”
We said our goodbyes; Kade touched my chin with his thumb. “I’ll be right back.”
He walked my parents to their car. I was discharged earlier. People had been coming and going all day. Vin had brought sandwiches from Duke’s, left a stash for me in the fridge. Cap had pulled me aside earlier and told me he thought of me as a daughter. And then he broke down. Captain Donald Darling sobbed. Tears filled my eyes, remembering, but I was okay, and I think today had been cathartic for everyone. Salem rubbed up against my leg. I picked him up, hugged him hard and kissed his face. “I missed you, fur ball.” Tears gathered in my eyes because I had come so damn close. Salem squirmed. I kissed him again, then let him go.
Considering the length of my coma, the doctors were surprised at how well I was able to get around. I was weak and needed some physical therapy to build up my muscles, but I was okay.
The same couldn’t be said of Kade. My eyes filled with tears because he hadn’t just had to make the decision to let me go, he was in the room. The pain that stole over me, just thinking about it, almost brought me to my knees, but he’d had to live through it.
And since I woke, he hadn’t stopped. I got it, I’d be doing the same, he’d been given a second chance, we both had, but he was burning himself out. The elevator doors opened, he stepped out and crossed the room right to me.
“Let it out, Kade,” I whispered. I touched his cheek, my gaze moving over his face. “Let it out. In your shoes, what you’ve been through…let it out.”
His jaw clenched.
“I heard you.”
Hard eyes softened. “I heard you. I was trying to get back to you. It was like I was in quicksand, and the harder I tried, the deeper I sank.” Tears filled my eyes. “I heard the goodbyes and knew I couldn’t go. I couldn’t leave you.” I took his hand, pressed a kiss in his palm. “You were never the villain, and I’m not much of a princess, but I do love you with everything I am.”
He pulled his hand from mine and stepped back. “I was watching you die,” he said, in a harsh whisper. “I had to prepare myself for your death.” His voice grew louder. “A lifetime without you. How the fuck was I supposed to do that, Molly? All the years I’d have to face without you. Letting you go, letting my fucking heart go. Fuck!” he roared, pacing away from me. “I almost went mad. I think if you had died, I would have. We collided, you and I fucking collided, but the best fucking things happen when two forces collide. I don’t want a lifetime with you, I fucking need it.”
He stalked back to me, right into my space, his hands in my hair, his mouth a breath from mine. “Every fucking breath is yours.” His mouth slammed down on mine, tongues touched, and I moaned, even as my eyes burned, because we almost lost this. His fingers tightened in my hair, as he took the kiss deeper, his tongue sweeping my mouth, savoring and remembering. We were both breathless when he ended it.
“I really do want to be a woman of leisure,” I said.
He looked intense, but his voice was soft. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I was already thinking about it before all of this, but now, I know that I want every second of every day with you.”
He showed me how much he liked that when he kissed me breathless.
“Are you sure, Molly? Maybe you should give it some time before you make the call,” Cap said. Kade had brought me to the station. I had to walk through a wall of people wishing me well; there were presents and flowers all over my desk. I cried, was crying a lot these days. I was going to miss them. These people were my family, but so was Kade, and I wanted my life with him.
“I was already heading in this direction, Cap. I love the job, you know how much I do, but I want Kade, and I want a family. And, after all this, how fast it can be taken away, being given a second chance, I don’t want to waste a second.”
“I can’t say I wouldn’t want the same in your shoes,” Cap said softly. “But the door is always open.”
“Thank you.” The tears started again.
I turned to Zac. “I’m going to miss you, partner,” he whispered. “You’re the best partner I’ve ever had.”
Zac wasn’t a hugger, but I hugged him, and he hugged me back. “Be careful.”
“I will,” he said, his voice rough from tears. “The case is closed, but I thought you’d like to know that Milton fled to Kevin McKenzie’s.”
It was so easy to slide back into being a detective. “Desiree’s dad. So that’s where he was.”
“He changed his name because the altercation he’d had, as a kid, was defending Kevin against a hate crime.”
“What kind of hate crime?”
“Gay bashing.”
Well, shit. Milton seemed so gentle, but good for him for standing up for his friend. Then I recalled our talk with Desiree and how she had said Milton had taken her on because her father and Milton were friends. Understanding dawned. “They were lovers.”
“Yeah, but for a man who wanted to work in public relations, he couldn’t have manslaughter on his record, while molding the image of those paying him to do so. And, even expunged, we know all too well that if someone wants the information, badly enough, they’ll get it.”
“So Milton really had been there, just behind the scenes. At least Katrina had him.”
Zac rubbed the back of his neck. “And Mitch Anderson died, but not before we were able to share with him that his information helped us break the case.”
“Good. I’m happy to hear that. And Samantha’s parents?”
“We gave them closure, but that�
�s a pain they’ll always carry.” His eyes got a little bright. I knew he was thinking about me. I reached for his hand and squeezed it. I loved these people, this job, but I really was ready to start the next chapter with Kade. Despite the nostalgia, I couldn’t keep the joy from my voice when I said, “Wedding invites will be going out soon. Block some vacation time.”
Cap and Zac both looked at each other, before looking back at me. “Vacation time?”
I grinned. “Vacation time.”
They followed me out of the office. Vin was making his way down the hall. “I heard you were here.” He looked behind me, understanding moving over his face. “You’re leaving.”
“I am.”
He stopped in front of me, tugged on a lock of my hair. “You are one tough cookie, Molly Donahue. You ever want back, there’s a place for you in vice.”
I wiped at my eyes, because I was tearing up again. “Thank you, Vin.”
He pulled me into a hug. “Take care of yourself,” he whispered.
“You too.” I stepped back, reached for his hand and squeezed. “Wedding invite, vacation time…” I gestured to Zac and Cap. “They’ll fill you in.”
It was harder than I thought it would be, turning and seeing them watching me. I had spent the last six years here; my life had been this building and these people. And then, I turned and saw Kade, standing by my desk, and suddenly, it wasn’t so hard because he was what I wanted.
He closed the distance, took my hand and pulled me up against him. “You good?”
“I am.”
He glanced back, lifted his hand to the others, then turned me toward the door.
“Let’s get Duke’s for lunch,” I suggested. “And we need to swing by and pick up Ethan. We owe him dinner.”
“He’s already at the penthouse. Apparently, he’s moving in.”
I laughed out loud at Kade’s tone.
“I’ll talk him down.”
“You better.” His eyes were hot, and damn, but I missed that look. We hadn’t had sex yet. I wanted to. I’d even tried to seduce him a few times, but the man could be stubborn.
“I want access to you whenever and wherever, so I’ll definitely talk him down.” I pressed in closer. “Maybe that can be sooner than later.”
He had a thought on that, but didn’t share, and instead, pressed a kiss on my forehead. I wasn’t going to fight him on it, not yet. I understood. In his shoes, I’d be feeling the same. It wasn’t about me being hurt; it was about control and him losing it. He still hadn’t really let it all out, all the shit he went through. He needed to. If he didn’t soon, I was going to force his hand.
“There’s somewhere I’d like to go,” I said.
“Anywhere.”
“It’ll require your plane.”
“Anything you need, Baby.”
Jackson Kilburn greeted us with a smile. He showed us into his apartment, and like the first time, we settled in his living room.
“I was happy to get your call. I’m hoping you’ve got good news.”
“Yes. You were right about Katrina. She was murdered, and it was at the hand of her fiancé.”
Tears filled the older man’s eyes.
“Jason Benjamin was killed, while being brought into custody, and Katrina’s official cause of death has been changed to murder.”
He took my hand into his old ones. “Thank you. You have no idea how much comfort you’ve brought me.”
“Well, here’s a little more for you. Her baby wasn’t Jason’s, but a man she loved dearly, and that man and his son have been reunited.”
“Oh, that makes me so happy.” He settled back on the sofa. “I’m an old man, and I’ve been ready to go, but I’ve been waiting, hoping to put things right. Thank you for giving me that.”
“We stopped at the market on our way here,” I said, gesturing to the cooler. “Would you allow us to cook you dinner?”
“I would like that very much.” He tried to stand; Kade helped him to his feet. “Thank you, Son.” He started for the kitchen. “I’ve a nice bottle of wine I’ve been saving for just this moment.”
We spent the afternoon and evening sharing stories of the job. We talked about Katrina. When we left Jackson, he looked at peace. He died in his sleep that night. Kade and I stayed in Los Angeles for his memorial, and when we learned he had no one, we arranged one. Zac flew out, as did Carmine and Gregory Enzi. He was laid to rest on a sunny spring day in the same cemetery Katrina Dent had been buried, thirty-two years earlier.
I was out shopping for wedding gowns with my mom. It was the only reason Kade wasn’t with me, and still, he grumbled about it. My heart wasn’t into the gown search, though, because I was worried about Kade. Mom was pulling gown after gown from the designer rack, but I wasn’t looking. She dropped down next to me. “What’s wrong?”
I exhaled on a sigh. “It’s Kade.” I turned into her. “How bad was it?”
Her face dropped, a shadow moved behind her eyes. “It was bad, Molly,” she said, and took my hand. My heart twisted, but I had to hear it, needed to know.
“Tell me.”
“He wouldn’t give up. Even when everyone else…” she wiped at her eyes, “Even when your dad and me couldn’t take it anymore, he wouldn’t give up. He said he’d know if you were gone. That he still felt you.” She pulled in a hard breath. “When he finally agreed to pull the plug, he didn’t leave you. Stayed with you day and night.” She squeezed my hand. “He came face-to-face with your death. Your dad and I did, too, so I know how he was feeling, but you were his future, that long, beautiful road ahead of you, and he had to let it go. I honestly don’t know what would have happened to him if you hadn’t come back to us.”
“How do I get him to let it go? He still hasn’t. Not all the way. It haunts him.”
“You’re his breath, Molly. Breathe life back into him.”
Mom and I postponed wedding dress shopping. Instead, I stopped for something on the way home.
Kade greeted me. “How did it go?”
“It didn’t.” His smile dropped. “I need something.”
“Anything, you know that.”
I took his hand and walked to our bedroom. Dropping it, I stood at the base of the bed. “I’d like you naked, and, on the bed, and I want to restrain you with these,” I said, pulling out the cuffs.
He pushed his hands into his pockets, that mask was firmly in place. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Do you trust me?”
Anger swept his expression. “You know I fucking do.”
“Then trust me.”
Several tense minutes passed before he kicked off his shoes, one then the other, his socks followed. It wasn’t sexual; it wasn’t foreplay. He was angry, but so was I. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it from his body. His pants followed and then his briefs. He stood before me completely naked, and I looked my fill because I had missed him. “You’re beautiful,” I whispered.
A slight softness entered his hard eyes. He turned for the bed, my gaze moved to his ass. He climbed on, lying in the middle. I moved to him, wanting so badly to kiss him, to straddle him and take him deep into me, but we had to do this. I closed the one cuff around his wrist, fed it through the slat of the crisscross headboard and caught his other wrist. Hot eyes looked at me. Heat pooled between my legs, seeing the dominant Kade restrained, but that he trusted me to give me this…I fucking loved him.
“You can break free.” I gestured to the headboard. “We both know that.” I moved to the foot of the bed, his eyes followed me like the predator he was.
“You’re angry with me,” I said, walking to the other side of the bed, settling on the edge. My hands itched to touch him, even just a stroke over his cheek, but I didn’t touch him. That’s not what this was about. “There’s a part of you really fucking pissed at me because I
walked away from the table that night.” His arms flexed, the headboard squeaked.
“That’s not what’s fueling the rage, though. You’re pissed at yourself because you weren’t there. Someone shot me, and you weren’t there.”
The bed shook, his body flexed, his muscles hard.
I stood, reached for my shirt and pulled it over my head. My bra followed. I had a scar; it ran down my stomach about four inches. One he was careful to avoid when he touched me. I saw the pain in his eyes now, his gaze drifting over the souvenir of that night.
“I almost died,” I said. “And for six months, you had to watch me straddling the line between life and death.” I touched my scar. “I can have it removed, get plastic surgery to cover it up.” My gaze met his. “But I survived. And I did because you wouldn’t let me go. I don’t know how to get you to understand that. I was lost in the darkness, and then I heard your voice. You were there with me, right there with me, Kade. I’m out of the dark now, but you’re still there.” I touched the cuff. “Sometimes bad shit happens, and you aren’t always going to have control. You weren’t the one who left the table that night and you weren’t the one who put the gun to my back. But you were the one who called my name in the dark, the one who didn’t stop calling, until I could find my way back to you. You saved me. You brought me back to life.” Tears were rolling down my cheeks; his eyes were wet. “It’s your turn to hear my voice, to follow it, to come out of the dark, because I’m waiting, and I miss you so fucking much.”
He pulled on the cuffs. “Unlock them.”
My heart dropped, but I reached into my pocket for the key and undid them. He moved from the bed, stalking away from it. Every muscle in his body was tense. His hands fisted. I waited because this was the calm before the storm.
Just his head turned, one dark eye looked back. “I almost lost you.” His voice was nothing but gravel. He was across the room in a heartbeat, had me up against the wall in the next. His hand curled around my throat, his eyes locked onto mine. “You brought color to my world, not going back to black and white.”
