"Yes," Lamme put in, "pray tell us why, my Lord!"
But Brederode made no answer, and only looked very hard at Ulenspiegel,who thereupon continued his discourse in this wise.
"And why, pray, do you, you other noble Lords, seek to be faithful tothe King even unto beggary? Is it for the great good that he wishesyou? Or for the fair friendship that he bears you? How is it thatinstead of being faithful to the King even unto beggary you do notso act rather that the brute himself may be despoiled of his country,and thus be made faithful for ever to beggary himself?"
And Lamme nodded his head to show his agreement with what his friendhad said:
Brederode looked at Ulenspiegel with his keen glance, and smiled withpleasure at his handsome appearance.
"Either you are a spy of King Philip," he said, "or else a good manof Flanders; and for whichever you are I will pay you your due."
So saying he led Ulenspiegel to his pantry, and Lamme followed closebehind. When they were come there, Brederode pulled Ulenspiegel'sear till the blood flowed.
"This for the spy," he said.
But Ulenspiegel remained quite quiet and said nothing.
Then Brederode, pointing to a pipkin of cinnamon wine, bade his butlerbring it to him.
"Drink," said Brederode, "this for the good Fleming."
Ah!" cried Ulenspiegel, "good Fleming means sweet tongue forcinnamon! Verily the saints themselves do not know the likes of it!"
When he had drunk half the tankard he passed the remainder to Lamme.
"And who," said Brederode, "who is this papzak, this belly-carrierthat needs must be recompensed for having done nothing?"
"This," said Ulenspiegel, "is my friend Lamme Goedzak, and wheneverhe drinks mulled wine he thinks that he is going to find the wife hehas lost."
"That's so," said Lamme, sucking up the wine from the goblet mostdevotedly.
"And where may you be going to now?" asked Brederode.
"In quest of the Seven," said Ulenspiegel, "the Seven that shall savethe land of Flanders."
"And who may they be?" asked Brederode.
"When I have found them," said Ulenspiegel, "then I will tell you."
But Lamme, who was grown sprightly with what he had been drinking,suggested to Ulenspiegel that they should go there and then to themoon, to see if his wife perchance was there.
"All right," said Ulenspiegel, "if you'll provide a ladder!"
And it was May, the green month of May, and Ulenspiegel said to Lamme:
"O Lamme, behold the lovely month of May! Ah, the bright blue of thesky! The joy of the swallows! And behold, the branches of the trees,how they are all red with sap, and the very earth is in love! Verilythis is now the time both to hang and to burn for the Faith. For theyare ready, the good little Inquisitors. Ah, what noble faces theyhave! And theirs is the power to correct us and to punish us and todegrade, and hand us over to the secular judges, or to imprison us--Othe fine month of May!--and to take us captive, and to proceed to trialagainst us without serving any writ, and to burn, hang, behead us, andto dig the grave of premature death for our women and our girls. Inthe trees the chaffinch is singing! But upon him that is rich andwealthy the good Inquisitors have cast a favourable eye! And it isthe King himself that shall enter into their inheritance. Then go,my girls, dance in the meadows to the sound of bagpipes and shawms. Othe fine month of May!"
And the ashes of Claes beat upon the breast of Ulenspiegel.
"On, on!" said he to Lamme. "Happy are they that shall keep hearthigh and sword drawn in the dark days that are coming!"
IX
Lamme and Ulenspiegel, each mounted upon a donkey given him bySimon Simonsen, one of the followers of the Prince of Orange, wentriding far and wide, warning the people concerning the bloodthirstydesigns of King Philip, and always on the look-out for any news fromSpain. They frequented all the markets and fairs of the countryside,selling vegetables and habited like peasants.
One day as they were returning from the market at Brussels, they passeda stone house on the Quai aux Briques, and there, in a room on theground floor, they beheld a beautiful dame dressed all in satin. Shehad a high complexion, a lively look in her eyes, and her neck wasmost fair to behold. By her side was a young, fresh-looking cook,to whom she was addressing words like these:
"Clean me this saucepan, will you! No rusty sauce for me!"
"As for me," cried Ulenspiegel, poking in his nose at the window,"any kind of soup is good enough! For a hungry man cannot afford tobe particular."
The lady turned towards him:
"And who," she said, "who is this little man, I wonder, that mustneeds concern himself with my soup?"
"Alas, my lovely lady," said Ulenspiegel, "if only you will consent tomake soup in my company, I will teach you how to prepare a traveller'srelish of a sort that is quite unknown to lovely ladies who stayat home."
And then, smacking his lips:
"I am hungry," he said.
"Hungry for what?" she asked him.
"For you."
"Sure, he's a nice enough looking fellow," said the cook to hermistress. "Let him come in a while and tell us his adventures."
"But there are two of them!" said the lady.
"I'll look after the other," said the cook.
"Madame," said Ulenspiegel, "it is true that there are two of us, Iand my poor friend Lamme here, whose back cannot support so much as theweight of a hundred pounds, yet who carries in his stomach five hundredpounds at the least of food and drink, and that right willingly!"
"My son," Lamme said, "do not make mock of me, unfortunate that I am,for my belly costs a deal to fill."
"To-day, at any rate, it shall not cost you so much as a liard,"said the lady. "Come in, both of you."
"But what about these donkeys of ours?" said Lamme.
"There is no lack of fodder," answered the lady, "in the stable ofMonsieur le Comte de Meghen!"
Thereupon the cook left her saucepan, and led Lamme and Ulenspiegelinto the stable yard, they still riding on their donkeys, who nowbegan to bray inordinately.
"Hark," cried Ulenspiegel, "hearken to the fanfare with which theygreet their coming nourishment. They are blowing their trumpets forjoy, the poor beasts!"
But when they were dismounted, Ulenspiegel said to the cook:
"Come now, my dear, tell me, if you were a she-ass would you choosefor your mate a donkey like me?"
"If I were a woman," the cook replied, "I would desire a fellow thathad a merry countenance."
"What are you then," asked Lamme, "being neither woman nor she-ass?"
"I am a maid," quoth she, "and that is neither woman nor she-ass intothe bargain. Now do you understand, fat-belly?"
Meantime the lady was inviting Ulenspiegel to drink a pint ofbruinbier and to partake of some ham, a gigot, a pate, and somesalad. Ulenspiegel clapped his hands.
"Ham!" he cried, "that's good to eat; and bruinbier is a drinkdivine. Gigot is food fit for the Gods! And the thought of a pate isenough to send one's tongue a-tremble in one's mouth for joy! A richsalad is worthy victual for a king, forsooth. But blessed above allmen shall that man be to whom it is given to dine off thy loveliness,O lady mine!"
"How the fellow does run on!" she exclaimed. And then: "Eat first,you rogue."
"Shall we not say grace ere we consume all these dainties?" saidUlenspiegel.
"Nay," answered the lady.
But Lamme began to make moan, complaining that he was hungry.
"Eat, then, your fill," said the beautiful dame, "for well I see thatyou have no other thoughts but of meats well cooked."
"And fresh withal," Lamme added, "even as was my wife."
At this the cook grew moody; nevertheless they ate and drank theirfill, and that night also did the beautiful dame give his supper toUlenspiegel, and so the next day, and the days that followed.
As for the donkeys, they were given double feeds, and for Lamme therewas always a double ration. And throughout a whole week he never o
ncewent outside the kitchen, playing the wanton with many a dish of food,but never with the cook, for he was thinking of his wife all the time.
This annoyed the girl, and she went so far as to say that it wasnot worth while to cumber the earth if one thought of nothing butone's belly.
But all this time Ulenspiegel and the beautiful dame were passingthe time together in right friendly wise, till one day she said to him:
"Tyl, I think you have no principles at all. Who are you?"
"I am," said he, "a son that Chance begat one day on High Adventure."
"You are not afraid to speak well of yourself," she told him.
"That's for fear that others will praise me."
"Would you go so far as to help such of your brethren who have sufferedfor the Faith?"
"The ashes of Claes beat upon my breast."
"There is something splendid about you, Tyl, when you say that,"she told him, "but who is this Claes?"
"He was my father," answered Ulenspiegel, "that was burnt alive forthe Faith."
"Verily you are not at all like my husband, the Count de Meghen,"she said, "for he, if he could, would bleed to death the country thatI love. For you must know that I was born in the glorious city ofAntwerp. And now I will make known to you that the Count has enteredinto an agreement with the Councillor of Brabant to bring into thatvery city of Antwerp a regiment of infantry."
"I must inform the citizens of this," said Ulenspiegel. "Behold,I will go there immediately, swift as a ghost."
He departed there and then; and by the following morning the citizensof Antwerp were in arms. But Ulenspiegel and Lamme, having senttheir donkeys to a farmer that was a friend of Simon Simonsen, werethemselves obliged to go into hiding for fear of the Count de Meghen,who was seeking for them everywhere to have them hanged; for it hadbeen reported to him that there were two heretics that had drunk ofhis wine and eaten of his meat. And he was jealous and spoke concerningthis matter to his lovely dame, who ground her teeth in anger, and weptand swooned seventeen times. The cook behaved in a similar fashion,but swooned not so often, and swore by her hope of Paradise and bythe eternal salvation of her soul, that neither she nor her mistresshad done anything wrong unless it had been to give what was left oftheir dinner to a couple of poor pilgrims who, mounted on two wretcheddonkeys, had stopped for a moment at the kitchen window.
All that day there was a great shedding of tears, so that the floorsof the house became quite damp with them. And when he saw this,Monsieur de Meghen felt reassured that he was being told the truthand nothing but the truth.
Lamme did not dare to show himself again there, for the cook alwaysjeered at him, calling after him, "My wife!" And for this cause hewas very sorry for himself, thinking of all the good food that he wasmissing. But Ulenspiegel continued his visits to the beautiful dame,entering the house by the rue Sainte-Catherine, and hiding himselfin the storeroom. And he always took care to bring back to Lamme somedainty morsel.
Now one evening the Count de Meghen informed his lady that beforemorning dawned he was resolved to lead his men-at-arms into thecity of Bois-le-Duc. When he had told her this he went to sleep. Butthe beautiful dame went straightway to the storeroom, and apprisedUlenspiegel of what had happened.
X
Ulenspiegel, in the garb of a pilgrim, and with no provision of foodor money, departed incontinently for Bois-le-Duc, with the intentionof warning the citizens. He reckoned to find a horse at the houseof Jeroen Praet, the brother of Simon Simonsen, for whom he carriedletters from the Prince. From thence he would go by side roads toBois-le-Duc as fast as his horse would carry him.
As he was crossing the road he spied a company of soldiers comingtowards him. This gave him a great fright because of the letterswhich he carried; but being resolved to put the best face on themisadventure, he awaited the arrival of the soldiers with all thecourage at his command, standing still by the roadside telling hisbeads. When the soldiers came up with him he joined them, and soondiscovered that they also were going to Bois-le-Duc.
At the head of the troop marched a company of Walloons led by acaptain, Lamotte by name, with his bodyguard of six halberdiers. Thenfollowed the other officers each according to rank, and with asmaller bodyguard: the provost with his halberdiers and two bailiffs,the chief watchman with the baggage-carriers, the executionerwith his assistants, and a band of drums and fifes making a greatrow. Thereafter came a company of Flemish soldiers, two hundred strong,with their captain and his ensign-bearers. They were divided into twodivisions, each of one hundred men, under the command of two sergeants,and in squads of ten under the command of corporals. The provost andhis lieutenants were likewise preceded by a band of drums and fifes,beating and screaming.
Behind these, again, came two open wagons wherein rode the lovingcompanions of the soldiers, pealing with laughter, twittering likebirds, singing like nightingales, eating, drinking, dancing, standing,lying down, or sitting astride--all gay and pretty girls.
Many of them were dressed like foot-soldiers, but in fine white clothwhich was cut away at the arms and legs and at the neck so as toshow their sweet white flesh. And on their heads they wore bonnets offine linen trimmed with gold and surmounted with magnificent ostrichplumes that fluttered in the wind. Their belts were of cloth of goldcrimped with red satin, from which hung the scabbards of their daggers,made of cloth of gold. And their shoes, their stockings, their hose,their doublets, shoulder-knots and fitments were all of gold and whitesilk. Others there were, dressed also in the uniform of infantrymenbut with uniforms of divers colours, blue, green, scarlet, sky-blue,and crimson, cut away and embroidered or emblazoned according to theirfancy. But on the arm of each and all was to be seen the colouredband that indicated her calling.
The girls were in charge of a sergeant who did his best to keep themin order, but they made no pretence of obeying him, but bombardedhim with japes and sweet grimaces so that he found it hard to keephis countenance.
Ulenspiegel meanwhile, in his dress of a pilgrim and telling hisbeads, went marching along by the side of the two ensign-bearers andtheir guard, for all the world like a little boat by the side of abig ship. Suddenly Lamotte inquired of him whither he was going.
"Sir Captain," answered Ulenspiegel, who was growing hungry, "you mustknow that I am one that has committed a grievous sin, for which I havebeen condemned by the Chapter of Notre Dame to journey to Rome on footand to ask pardon there from the Holy Father. This he has granted,and now I am shriven and suffered to return to my own country on theone condition that I am to preach the Holy Mysteries to whatsoeversoldiers I may encounter on the way; and they for their part areenjoined to give me bread and wine in return for my preaching. Andthus by my sermons do I sustain my wretched life. Would you now giveme permission to fulfil my vow at the next halt?"
"I will," said Monsieur de Lamotte.
After this, Ulenspiegel began to mingle with the Walloons and Flemingsin right brotherly fashion, but all the time he kept fingering thoseletters which he kept concealed under his doublet. And the girlsbegan to cry out to him:
"Come hither, handsome pilgrim, come hither and show us the strengthof your pilgrim's oyster-shells!"
And Ulenspiegel drew nigh to them with modest mien, and said:
"O my sisters in God, pray you do not make mock of the poor pilgrimthat wendeth up hill and down dale preaching ever the Holy Faith tothe soldiers."
But with his eyes he feasted himself upon the sight of their sweetcharms. And the wanton girls, thrusting their lively faces betwixtthe canvas curtains of the wagons, cried out to him yet the more:
"Surely you are too young a man to go preaching to soldiers? Climbup into our wagon and we will teach thee more gentle subjects ofconversation!"
And right willingly would Ulenspiegel have done as they bade him, buthe dared not, by reason of the letters which he carried. And alreadytwo of the girls were leaning out of the wagon trying to hoist himup with their white, round arms. But the sergeant was jealous.
&
nbsp; "Be off with you, or else I'll off with your head!" he threatened.
So Ulenspiegel removed himself away, but not without a sly look behindhim at the fresh young beauty of those joysome girls, all golden inthe sun which now shone brightly.
They came at last to Berchem, where Philip de Lannoy, Lord of Beauvoir,ordered a halt. For he it was that was in command of the Flemings.
Now in that place was an oak-tree, of medium height, but despoiledof all its branches save one only, a big branch that was broken offshort in the middle; for only a month before an Anabaptist had beenhanged there by the neck.
Here then the soldiers came to a halt, and the keepers of the canteencame up and began to sell to them bread, wine, beer, with meats ofevery kind. And to the gay girls they sold all manner of sugaredsweets, and castrelins, and almonds, and tartlets, the which whenUlenspiegel saw, he felt hungrier than ever.
All at once Ulenspiegel climbed up like a monkey into the tree, andseated himself astride on the big branch, seven feet above the groundat the least. And then, when he had given himself a few strokes fromhis pilgrim's scourge, he began his sermon, while the soldiers andtheir gay girls sat round him in a circle.
"It is written," he began, "that whosoever giveth to the poor, thesame lendeth to God. Very well then, O soldiers present here to-day,and you, fair ladies, sweet comrades in love of all these valiantwarriors, do you lend now to God. That is to say, give me, I beg you,some of your bread, meat, wine, beer, if you please, and eke yourtartlets, and I promise you that God, who is very rich, shall giveyou back in exchange many pieces of ortolan, rivers of malmsey wine,mountains of sugar-candy, and great pieces of that lovely rystpapwhich they eat in Paradise from silver spoons."
Légende d'Ulenspiegel. English Page 18
