“And Nilima?” I asked.
“She is none the worse for it as far as I can tell. Nilima was lost—scattered to the four winds as it were—but I was able to use my rather unenviable experience to make the process easier for her. I had to use a portion of your gift to save her, but it was worth it in the end.”
“I…I’m sorry. I should have done more.”
He shook his head. “You did too much as it was. You sacrificed for me, much as you did for Ren. Please accept my deepest regrets for your loss.”
“My loss?” I said.
“Ah. You don’t yet understand.”
“What did I lose?”
He sighed. “I’m afraid you’ve given up your connection to the goddess.”
“My connection to…to Ana?” I gaped. “How is that possible? I’m her tiger! How will we be able to do our work without our bond?”
“The Damon Amulet still connects you. Ana can still draw upon its power. What I speak of is your, um, personal connection. Before, your bond functioned like a triangle. Ana could draw power from you and you from her, but now the only option for both of you is to draw from the amulet. It’s more…limiting.”
“Will we still be able to mindspeak?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Perhaps through the amulet.”
“Can I fix it?” I asked, already guessing what his answer would be.
Kadam gave me a long look. “In this case, yes. It is possible to link yourself to Ana again. But if you choose to do this, the bond will be permanent.”
“I understand.”
“No, I don’t think you do.” Kadam sighed. “If you ever decided to leave the goddess and her work, this bond would have faded over time anyway. Perhaps it would be best to decide the course of your future before you do anything…lasting.”
“You want me to walk away from all this? From her?”
“That’s not what I said, son. I did tell you, though, that you have always had the freedom to choose.”
“Yeah. Well, right now, I choose to find her.”
“Yes. Of course. It would be wise for you to seek her out.” He narrowed his eyes. “I thought I made it clear that she needed you to remain near. At least until you’ve made your final choice.”
“Yes. You did, but I…I needed time to sort through my feelings.”
“Son…” He placed his hand on my shoulder. “I once advised Kelsey regarding pillows.”
“Pillows?” I said.
“Yes. I told her that the person you choose to spend your life with, and trust me when I say you do have a choice, will shape you in ways you cannot possibly understand. The questions to ask yourself are these. Do you like the man you are when you’re with her? Does she encourage you to become more than you are? Can she offer you companionship and comfort during your trials? Does she understand you in a way others cannot? If the answers to these questions are yes, then everything else will work itself out.”
I knew in my heart the answer to each question. It was an easy test. Almost too easy to trust.
“How do I find her if I’ve lost our connection?” I asked. “And how do I repair our link once I do?”
Kadam steepled his two index fingers and touched them to the straight line of his lips. “Perhaps now would be a good time to read the scroll I left with you?”
Chapter 32
Shrine of Fire
The scroll. I had nothing with me. Ana had taken our pack back to our home and I didn’t think to retrieve anything. I literally only had the clothes on my back and the Damon Amulet.
“I don’t have it,” I said.
“Then you’d better hope you can find her without it.”
“Can’t you tell me?” I begged. “I know you know where she is.”
“I have my suspicions,” he admitted. “But you know I cannot help you. This is a part of your journey, Kishan. If I intervened, it would change the outcome, or even influence your future choices. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I set you on a path that would lead to unhappiness.”
“But what if my unhappiness is a result of screwing this up?”
Kadam pursed his lips. His stubbornness showed in his expression and I knew he’d be no help.
“Fine. Then tell me how to fix our broken link.”
“If you are meant to be bonded, it will repair itself,” he said cryptically. “Best be going now, son,” he said.
I sighed. “Will I see you again?” I asked.
“I guarantee it.” He turned away but then, before he disappeared, added, “By the way, I like what you’ve done with the place.”
Stupid. Stupid tiger. I berated myself after he vanished. Once again, I’d fallen short when it came to my duty in protecting Ana. Not that I disbelieved Kadam, but the first thing I did was call out mentally to the goddess. Ana? I thought. Ana! There was no reply. I tried closing my eyes and feeling where she was, but in the place where our familiar connection had settled inside me, the one I’d had ever since I became a tiger so many years ago, there was an echoing emptiness.
Clutching the amulet, I leapt through time and space at a jog and was running when my feet hit the grass of her rose garden. I tore into her room and found her weapons lying in their usual places. Even Fanindra was sunning herself in the window. I’d assumed she’d be with Kelsey from now on, but apparently, time worked differently for the snake. In a weird way, it made sense.
I searched her shelves and belongings for the bag or the scroll but couldn’t find either one. In my haste, I nearly knocked over her bottle of perfume. The stopper fell, and before I put it back, I lifted it to my nose. Roses and lotus blossoms. Where was she? If she’d been close, I could have tracked her by scent but she hadn’t been here recently. “Ana!” I shouted and headed out, looking for anyone who might know where she’d gone.
Coming across the young man she’d saved, I grabbed his shoulders and offered a hasty apology when he winced. “Xing-Xing, where is the goddess?” I demanded. “Tell me, quickly.”
He shrugged. “I haven’t seen her here in weeks.”
“Did anyone call for her? Summon her in the last month?”
The boy scratched his nose. “No. Nothing out of the ordinary, anyway.”
Though our connection to each other was gone, I could still hear the prayers and supplications offered by mortals. Letting those calls come to the forefront of my mind was like stepping into a hurricane, but it couldn’t be helped. Steeling myself, I opened the faucet and a century’s worth of pleas assaulted my mind. I worked to isolate one voice, one cry for the goddess, and then set off. I didn’t stay long enough to do anything to actually help, I just checked to see if Ana was there.
Over and over, I leapt through time but came up with nothing. One woman wanted her daughter to find a mate. Another wanted her husband healed from an injury. An entire village needed help with their crops. But no matter where I looked, I found no trace of her. After dozens and dozens of stops, I came up dry. Where is she?
Finally, an idea occurred to me. Heading back to her room, I located what I was seeking. “Fanindra?” I called. “I need your help.” The snake lifted her head and willingly glided onto my outstretched arm. “I can’t find your mistress,” I said. “Can you take me to her?”
Not sure what I’d find once we got there, I strapped on a leather belt and slid the sword that would split in two into the scabbard. Then I attached the brooch to my shirt and put the kamandal around my neck. At least I had some weapons other than teeth and claws. It worried me to see all the weapons accounted for. The only object missing, other than the ones we’d already given to Kelsey and Ren, was the Rope of Fire.
Fanindra wrapped her honey and alabaster coils around my arm and used her energy to open a portal. I worried that doing so would tax the creature to the point of death once again, but Fanindra had been reborn or, perhaps, born for the first time. She was full of life and untapped energy. I stepped inside and was transported.
Fire bloomed around us the momen
t the portal disappeared, and I held up an arm, flinching at the burst of flame. I quickly realized I wasn’t on fire and my clothes weren’t burning, so I took a step back and studied our surroundings.
The ground was as dark as coal and powdery like ash. Young trees with russet leaves shivered in a warm breeze that carried the scent of smoke and sulphur. Immediately, I knew where I was. Bodha—the city beneath the volcano in the Andaman Islands.
“Why would she come here?” I asked Fanindra. The snake didn’t answer but turned to metal on my arm. “Okay. I guess I’m on my own then.”
I stroked the full day’s growth of beard on my face. When I changed from tiger to man, I always ended up in my black clothing, the last thing I wore before the curse, and clean-shaven. But since the curse had been lifted, I could be a man for as long as I liked, which meant I needed to shave from time to time. It was quicker just switching to a tiger and back, but there was something human about taking the time to shave.
My mother often helped my father with the chore, and I remembered how happy they were to serve one another in such small ways. It was one of the reasons I liked lying in her lap or brushing her hair. It was my special time with her. I guess shaving was my father’s time.
I’d once asked Ana if it bothered her, me having a beard, and she’d just snorted as if the question was ridiculous. True, she’d commanded an army, each soldier having his own preferences regarding facial hair, but I was different than the typical soldier. I was hers. At least, I thought I could be. Would she have a different opinion now? Maybe I’d trim it in the way I’d seen men of Kelsey’s time do, with just a bit around the mouth and chin. If I kissed her with a beard, would she squirm away or would she enjoy it even more? I found I liked thinking about it, even if my fantasy was farfetched.
If things went well with Ana, maybe I’d have reason to broach the subject and we could decide together. Maybe experiment with different possibilities. I smiled, imagining her reaction to such a suggestion, then frowned. Of course, before I could even think about trying to kiss her again, I’d have to find her.
Why would she be here? I wondered. Then it hit me. Ana must have continued working on the list while I was gone. But Bodha wasn’t until later. The City of the Seven Pagodas should have fallen next on the list. She was going out of order. Ana had the document, not me. I’d only jotted down a few things I could take care of on my own. She should have waited for me, and even if she hadn’t, it should have been clear to her which one was next.
I ticked off the items on my hand. We were to help Kells cross the barrier to meet Lady Silkworm, stop the car from killing Kells at the play, send the jellyfish to take Kelsey, Ren, and my old self to the surface of the ocean, then there was something about Mt. Fuji, then create the seventh pagoda, and greet Kells, Kadam, myself, and Ren at the Shrine of Water. Creating Bodha was way, way down the list.
Maybe she wasn’t creating Bodha, I thought as I walked through the trees. Maybe she was only visiting for a while. Why she’d go to Bodha, though, I had no idea. It wasn’t like there was anything of interest in that realm. I guess she could have talked with the phoenix, but surely she’d want to avoid the rakshasa demons and the volcano gods.
My heart fluttered when I considered the twin gods who’d captured Kelsey in the name of searching for their long-lost love. Did they have something to do with her disappearance? Maybe the rakshasa demons caught her. Or even worse, maybe she fell asleep in the Cave of Sleep and Death. I picked up the pace and started running.
There was no way to tell where I was going. I stopped when a familiar scent tickled my nostrils. Crouching down, I studied the ground but could find no tracks. Suddenly, a comet shot across the sky and the trees went out. It was nighttime in Bodha. The ferns, trees, and flowers that had been flickering dimmed suddenly. Putting my hand on a tree, I squinted through the dark forest ahead, trying to get a sense of where I should go.
The trees looked young. Much younger than they were when Ren, Kelsey, and I had been there. I stroked the trunk of a sapling and felt a vibration against my palm. That’s when I remembered that Kelsey was able to speak to the trees using the power of the fire amulet. I touched my palm to the trunk and then said, “Can you help me?”
A thin tendril at the end of a branch brushed against my neck. My first impulse was to bat it away, but I let it stay there, and though it wasn’t fully alert, it gave me a rough idea of where I should go to find Ana. Unfortunately, she’d traveled all the way across the forest. I had a long way to go to find her.
Instead of crossing Bodha old-school style like I had with Kelsey, I used the power of the amulet and gathered the winds. Rising above the trees, I soon came upon the mountain of the phoenix. I searched for signs of firefruit, eggs, or the glowing bird but found nothing. The cave either didn’t exist yet or was hidden.
Scaling the mountain was tricky as the winds buffeted me, but eventually, I rose above them and then headed down the other side. I stopped there to try to catch Ana’s scent or ask the trees for help. They confirmed my fears. Ana was at the diamond temple. I wasn’t sure if she had created the temple or if it had always been there, but I remembered the volcano gods well. They were hard to defeat, even with Ren at my side.
Dropping down at the edge of the tree line, I phased out of time and walked into the city. There was music, celebration, and dancing much as there had been the last time I’d visited. I knew what that meant. A girl somewhere on earth was being sacrificed to a volcano. I grimaced and began searching the crowds for Ana, but then I froze. Rakshasa demons were mingling freely with the Bodha.
Right before me a Bodha girl was running her palm up the bare chest of a rakshasa demon. His tattoos flared to life as she whispered in his ear. The two of them, holding hands, wandered off. Another couple, this time a rakshasa girl who looked a lot like Kelsey did when she took on the disguise of a queen, was surrounded by a group of men from both races.
I watched, dumbfounded, as the rakshasa sipped from goblets and nibbled on fruit, bread, and cheese. Where were the cold-blooded killers that I remembered? The ones who drank blood, devoured their injured, hunted the dead, and conjured poison from their fingertips? Where was the fear on the part of the Bodha? Turned out, I didn’t have a lot of time to ponder on the subject, as the men of the hour appeared at the opening of the pyramid.
“Welcome, citizens!” one of the creepy twins cried. They looked pretty much the same as they did when Kelsey and I had been there before. Their gold skin was enhanced by their white hair. One of them wore plumes of red and orange in his braids and the other had blue and green.
“As you all know, you’ve been brought to this realm by a very powerful and, I’ll add, very beautiful woman. And we’re happy to report that tonight she’ll become a bride!”
The crowd cheered raucously. My stomach sank. I had a very bad feeling. The last time I’d been here, the twin gods had captured a girl and given her a test to see if she was an incarnation of their beloved Lawala. Then they set their eyes on Kelsey. We’d barely escaped with our lives. I shook out my arms and cracked my neck. If they’d done something similar to Ana, I’d kill them. They weren’t dealing with the same tiger they fought in the past.
I started moving through the crowd, bumping some of them as I did. Though they couldn’t see me, several of the rakshasa stopped and lifted their noses in the air. I snapped my fingers to mask my scent, and the few that started trailing me stopped and looked around as if confused. I’d just made my way to the base of the temple when a rumbling shook the ground. Was it a volcano?
The wall on the far end of the temple cracked open, and one of the long-haired gods above shouted, “Behold, your queen!” Four men, two Bodha and two rakshasa, their bodies bare except for a small sarong tied about their waists, carried a litter strewn with fire flowers. Their arms bulged with muscle as they carried about the woman who lay on top.
She was hunched over, her face hidden and her palms splayed out so her fingers touche
d the end of the woven bed. The bare skin of her back was painted with glowing tattoos, and her blue-black hair was untamed and wild though it was braided with lengths of flowers, feathers, and leaves. It hung over the sides, and the people who knelt as she passed reached up to touch it with their fingertips.
When the men came to a stop before Shala and Wyea, the twin gods raised their arms to hush the crowd. “We’ve kept her face hidden from you though all of you have heard her voice and responded to her call. She is our savior. Sent by the ancients who have gifted us with a new home. And now she has descended to this plane to serve and live among us. Meet our love. Our Lawala newly sprung.”
The woman didn’t move. The honey tone of her skin shone in the light of the temple with the same sheen of heat that dampened my own skin. I sucked in a breath and waited along with the crowd.
One of the gods, the sharp-eyed one known as Shala, looked down, his mouth a hard line that covered the gleaming white teeth of his politician’s smile from a moment before. “Dear one,” he said, his tone dripping with a false patience, “rise and greet your people.”
Groaning, the woman’s fingers dug into the fibers of the litter. The man above twitched his fingers, manipulating her like a puppet. Her arms shook as she lifted her body. As the crowd cheered, she swayed drunkenly, her emerald eyes bleary and unfocused.
Ana!
The men turned her in a circle so everyone could gaze upon the goddess.
What have they done to her? I was going to kill them all. Every last one of them.
Shoving people aside, I moved toward her, taking in her scanty outfit. The skirt of leaves barely covered her backside, let alone her long legs. And the ivory, cambric halter she wore on top left nothing to the imagination.
When I got closer, I noticed the ruddiness of her complexion, the lifelessness of her normally sinewy limbs. Had they poisoned her? I didn’t know what was wrong with Ana but there was no doubt they’d done something. Deciding it best to hold back and watch in case they had drugged her and I needed an antidote, I stayed close but remained invisible. I tried to reassure her by speaking to her mind, but if she heard me, she didn’t acknowledge it.
Tiger's Dream (Tiger's Curse Book 5) Page 49
