My brother cried, “You are like a coiled cobra that has been hiding in his basket, waiting for the moment to strike.” He looked at Yesubai and then at my old self. “Don’t you see? Your actions have freed the viper, and we are bitten. His poison now runs through our blood, destroying everything.”
How ironic that it actually was a viper that was ultimately Lokesh’s undoing. If only Fanindra were here now.
“Do you want to hear her scream?” Lokesh threatened as the tiny hold he kept on his sanity extinguished. “I promise you she does it quite well. I offer you a choice one last time. Relinquish your piece to me.”
As Lokesh, face turning purple, threatened Ren, I thought about Yesubai. Now I knew firsthand what Ren had suffered at Lokesh’s hands. But what had she suffered? Ren had only been trapped with Lokesh for a few months, but Yesubai had lived with him for sixteen years.
“So be it,” Lokesh said and pulled a knife from his robe. He whispered words as he twirled a medallion, conjuring the blood spell to make Ren his slave.
As he worked, I noticed something I didn’t see before. Light grew around Ren and Lokesh as the spell progressed, but Yesubai was also glowing.
Do you see it, Ana? I asked.
The tiger stone carved from the egg of the phoenix shows us the truth, Ana answered.
It would seem I no longer needed to touch a piece of the truth stone to see into the hearts of others. I could see it through Ana’s eyes. Yesubai’s whole body seemed to shine with a golden luster that reminded me of Ana when she was in goddess form. I walked over to Ana where she watched quietly, her back to a pillar.
What’s happening to her? I asked just as my former self leapt from the dais to attack Lokesh.
Yesubai stood and her aura grew until she looked like a small sun about to explode.
It is a gift, I think, Ana said, her arms folded across her chest. She closed her eyes. Yes. When Lokesh killed Yesubai’s mother, Yuvakshi, she made a dying wish, one born of love. Her final plea echoes in my thoughts even now.”
What was it? I asked.
It was the simple wish of a mother. That her baby would know she was loved and that she would be protected from the threat of her father. Yuvakshi’s plea was heard and the universe granted her request. Yesubai has manifested two gifts because of this. To hide from her father, she has developed the gift of invisibility.”
You mean she can phase out of time like we do?
Ana pondered this. No. I believe it is simply a form of camouflage, like that of animals blending into their environment.
Then she could have left him at any time.
Ah, but young Yesubai loves her nurse and has often sent pleas to the gods on her behalf. She would never leave her nurse behind. Her father made sure the nurse was always nearby so his daughter would do as he asked.
Then what was the second gift?
It is the miracle of healing, both for herself and for others. It is this gift she gives you now.
What? What do you—
Ana took my arm and turned me back to the scene. Lokesh was grappling with my younger self while Ren struggled to get to his knees. At the same time, Yesubai, arms raised, was chanting, whispering a plea for divine intervention. Ana and I watched as the power lifted from Yesubai’s body in a golden cloud. It split in two, half of it shooting toward Ren and the other half to my former self. The princes’ wounds instantly began to heal.
You mean that’s why we can heal? I’d always thought it had to do with the amulet or with the tiger itself.
Ana shook her head. The healing was always a gift from Yesubai.
A sweet feeling of deep gratitude filled me. How often had I taken for granted our ability to heal? Ren and I would have died several times over if not for her sacrifice.
I glanced back at the girl, but Yesubai disappeared before my eyes. Ana pointed and I could just make out her ghostly form as she picked up a forgotten knife. She plunged the weapon into Lokesh’s back, but the strike wasn’t enough to kill him.
The brave girl, her cloak of invisibility falling away, then leapt in front of my old self to protect him as Lokesh came in for the kill. He used the power of the air and the earth to strike her a blow hard enough to lift her petite frame high into the air.
She came down and tears filled my eyes when I heard her head hit the edge of the dais with an unmistakable crack. Even if I hadn’t already known what happened next, both Ana and I had enough experience to recognize a killing blow when we saw it. Time froze.
Ana put her hand on my arm. “I will go to her now,” she said, hesitating, as if asking my permission.
I nodded and Ana used her power to transform into the goddess but without the extra arms. That had not surprised me but I was surprised to see Fanindra had joined her. The snake peered over at Lokesh and hissed, jaws opening. “Not yet, my pet,” Ana said to Fanindra and then unfroze time around Yesubai. I could see she was channeling just enough energy to postpone the girl’s death. Ana knelt beside Yesubai and took her hand. “Hello, Yesubai,” she said. “I’ve always wanted to meet you.”
Yesubai tried to say something but only a breath stirred the air. Ana smiled softly and used her power to help. “You may speak if you wish,” she said.
“Who…who are you?” Yesubai asked. “What’s happening?”
“I am the goddess Durga.”
“A goddess?”
Yesubai asked if Ana was going to save everyone. Though Ana said no, I wondered if that was true. Ana had certainly saved me countless times.
“I don’t understand. Then why are you here?” the dying girl asked.
“As I said, I wanted to meet you.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to get a sense of who you are.” Ana glanced up at me. “Specifically, I wanted to know if you loved him.”
“Do I love who?”
Ana hesitated before answering, “Kishan.”
I came forward then, a frown on my face, and shook my head but Ana pressed on.
“Yes,” Yesubai answered softly. “I love him. I’m sorry about what happened with Dhiren. He’s a good man. He didn’t deserve to be abused in this way. If I could go back and do things differently, I would.”
“I believe you,” Ana said.
“They don’t deserve to have their fate tied to my own.”
“I do not wish for you to worry over their fate, Yesubai.”
“But Lokesh—”
Ana stroked the girl’s cheek, leaned down, and whispered, “Your father will be defeated but it will not happen in this time.”
“Will I live to see it?”
Ana opened her mouth but the answer was a long time coming. “I do not think as others do regarding knowing one’s future, so I will answer your question. You will not live out this day. The fall has broken your neck.”
“But I can heal myself,” Yesubai insisted.
Feeling defeated, I sunk down on the dais next to Ana and Yesubai, my head in my hands. While Ana explained to Yesubai that her gift was now gone, she reached over, clutched my fingers, and squeezed.
“Have I proved myself to you then?” Yesubai asked.
“You have nothing to prove to me, Yesubai.”
“Perhaps not, but Kishan said that a gift might be bestowed on even the lowliest of creatures whom the gods deem worthy.”
My breath caught. What would Yesubai wish for? To live? To have the goddess whisk the two of us far away from this chamber?
“What gift do you seek?” Ana asked, a catch in her voice.
“Will you…take care of him?”
Ana smiled softly at the selfless girl. “I will. I will watch over both of the princes. This I promise you.”
Next Yesubai asked the goddess to save her maid. Then she said her final words. The words that would be etched on my heart from that day forward.
Yesubai said, “Then the sacrifice was worth it.”
My heart stuttered. Is this sacrifice worth it? This beautiful, sweet, brave gir
l thought so. Ren thought so. Kadam too. If I had a chance to ask Kelsey, I know exactly what she’d say.
“Rest now, little one,” Ana said. “You are very brave.”
Ana stroked Yesubai’s hair and phased out of time, becoming invisible, then restarted the clock.
My old self skidded over and picked up the demure and dying girl. “Dayita, my love. Don’t leave me,” he begged.
Both of us felt it the moment Yesubai’s heart stopped beating.
Why did you ask her that question? I said to Ana.
Do you mean the one about her love for you?
I nodded.
You needed to know. A part of you always wondered if she truly loved you or if she was her father’s accomplice. As the raven, I watched what happened here from your perspective. That you cared for her deeply was obvious, but you carried the hurt around inside you for a long time. You blamed yourself for her death but you also blamed yourself for not seeing the trap.
She continued, It was the self-recrimination and guilt that I swallowed as the raven. As a result, you convinced yourself that Yesubai did not love you. This absolved you, somewhat, of the disloyalty you associated with loving Kelsey. The doubt regarding Yesubai’s motives, I couldn’t take away. Until now. This is why I asked. Yesubai loved you, Sohan. We must honor her for the gift she freely gave.
Ana touched her lips to my ear and whispered, Take a moment while I tend to Yesubai’s maid.
I gave her a quick nod and she disappeared. With a snap of my fingers, time froze again. I walked around the scene, looking at each person in turn. Even Lokesh, with a crazed expression on his face, was someone I needed to consider. Heading to the great pillars where the room opened to the jungle outside, I stood on the marble steps and looked out at the trees.
This was it.
My big choice.
Was I going to go through it all again, curse myself and Ren to be tigers, or take back my mortality and embrace the young prince I was supposed to have been?
If I gave it all up, I never would have met Kelsey or Ana. If the amulet remained, then Ren and I would fight Lokesh together, maybe even win, and the Damon Amulet would forever remain in pieces. Or, if we lost, then Lokesh would succeed in taking our pieces. He’d remake the amulet and rise to power, slowly going mad in the process and destroying himself and many others as he did so.
But then there was the other possibility. If Ana was correct, then without the tiger, the Damon Amulet would cease to exist, and Lokesh would be long dead by the time Ren and I were born. If that was the case, Ren and I would be back at home with our parents right now, preparing for the next phase of our lives. Yesubai would never have been born.
I rubbed my palm across my chest. There were too many variables. I wanted Kadam to tell me what to do. But hadn’t he already? Cursing myself to tiger form was on the list. He’d purposely saved it for last, but his suggestion was clear.
Even so, both he and Ana wanted to give me the opportunity to choose. In my heart, I knew what needed to be done. Now I just needed to summon the courage to do it.
My nostrils flared when I caught the scent of jasmine and roses. “Do you need more time?” Ana asked softly.
Turning, I pulled her into my arms. “No, my lady fair. I’ve made my choice.” Ana’s gaze dropped away. “But before this happens, there’s something you need to know.”
“What is it, Sohan?”
I paused. The words were there, waiting to be said. In my heart, I’d acknowledged the truthfulness of them already, but I’d held back, not wanting to be vulnerable in such a way again. And now, here I was, ready to made a decision that would change my life forever. The only thing that remained was Ana.
Touching my fingertip to her chin, I willed her to look at me. “Before I do this, I want to tell you…”
“Yes?”
“I want you to know that I love you, Ana.” Her mouth opened in a soft gasp. “I should have said it a long time ago.”
“When…when did you know?” she asked.
“It’s hard to say. When you gave me back my memories, my boyhood crush returned in full force. I guess if you look at it that way, I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve. I regret that it took me so long to acknowledge it. As you know, I am a bit hard-headed.”
Ana reached up and stroked my hair. I took hold of her hand and turned my head to kiss her palm.
“If this is the time for confessions, then I will admit that I, too, began to grow fond of you as a child.”
“So, it’s mere fondness you feel for me then?” I teased with a smile.
“No, Sohan,” she said soberly and gripped my arms. “Fondness is the word I use to describe my weapons or my favorite horse or—what was it called?—ah, popcorn. What I feel for you has become a constant ache in my heart. During the day, I long to feel your eyes upon me and your lips on mine. At night, I dream of being nestled within your arms. It has been quite a vexing thing to experience and is most unbecoming of a warrior. You distract me from everything I am supposed to be focused on. If you would label this as love, then I believe I have a sore case of it.”
“I see.” I touched my fingertip to the small pattern of freckles across her nose. “Perhaps there is some type of elixir that can fix that for you.”
She frowned and shoved my chest. “I do not wish to take an elixir.”
“Do you mean to say you want to go on feeling this way?” I asked, assuming an air of astonishment.
Ana folded her arms and turned away, muttering, “You are an oaf of a man and a sorry excuse for a tiger. I do not know how I could possibly love such a displeasing man.”
Laughing softly, the emotions bittersweet, I folded my arms around her and murmured in her ear, “So, you do love me then.”
“Yes, Sohan,” she said, tilting her head so I could nibble on her ear. “I do love you. More than I would have ever believed possible.”
It was what I wanted, no, needed to hear, and yet even the sweetness of her words couldn’t make what I was about to do any easier. She twisted in my arms and wrapped hers around my waist. I gazed into her lovely green eyes and twined her silky hair between my fingers. Sliding my hand behind her head, I drew her close. When my lips touched hers, it was different from all our other kisses. It wasn’t full of power or creation. It wasn’t the kiss of a goddess and her consort.
It was simply a man kissing the woman he loved.
For the first time, I opened my mind to her fully, completely, with no hesitation and no reservations. I shared everything with her—my hopes, my dreams, and more immediately important, my decision.
She faltered momentarily but then held on to me even more tightly.
Both of us chose to ignore the salty tears that wet our cheeks.
Chapter 37
A Dream Realized
Pulling away, I kept Ana’s hand in mine as I turned my back on the jungle.
“You’re certain, then?” Ana asked, her voice halting.
“I am.”
She laced her fingers through mine, and I wasn’t sure if it was her hand trembling or if it was me. I walked over to Ren. He was on his hands and knees. His blood pooled on the floor. Crouching down next to him, I touched his back. “I wish I could say I was confident that you would make the same decision if you were in my place. You trusted me before. I’d like to think you’d do the same thing again. My biggest regret is that I wasn’t the brother you deserved. At least, not for many years. All I can promise is, I’ll try to do better by you in the future.”
I glanced over at my former self where he was bent over the body of the girl he loved, his face a mask of agony. Would a part of him remember any of this? I wondered. Probably not. I supposed it no longer mattered. Not for the first time and probably not for the last, either, I questioned if I was doing the right thing.
Ana’s voice in my mind quashed my hesitation. You know what to do, Sohan, she said.
Placing both hands on my brother, I called on the power of th
e amulet. It flowed through me and around me. The amulet hung from my neck, the tip of it touching my brother’s back. I leaned closer and the entire piece settled on the spot between his shoulder blades. Light shot out from the carved tiger on the amulet and enveloped both of us. I heard a noise and turned to see Ana. She had become the goddess, and all eight of her arms were lifted in the air, magic weaving between her limbs.
Ren’s body trembled beneath my hands and time moved forward in slow motion. Not even the goddess Durga or her tiger could stop its progress. We no longer had control of it. My brother screamed in agony as the light from the amulet twisted and curved, sinking into his body. I glanced up at my old self. He’d covered his ears to try to block out the powerful hum of the goddess as it grew in volume. As I closed my eyes, I wished I, too, could cover my ears.
Then, I heard him. Smelled him.
Claws clicked on the marble floor and I raised my head and looked into the eyes of a tiger. He was massive. His white fur was wet from the damp jungle and he had mud caked between his claws. Leaning closer, he sniffed me and then Ren. He’d heeded the summons of the amulet. Having witnessed the other creations of the goddess, I knew what I needed to do next.
“Will you serve?” I asked him. “Will you become a part of my brother?”
The tiger lowered his head and growled softly, then he came closer and nudged my hand with his nose. He chuffed and my vision blurred.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “Take care of him.” Lifting one of my hands, I placed it on the head of the tiger and felt the thrum of his energy. “When the time is right, we will return and release you,” I said.
The great creature disappeared before my eyes, giving his life force in service to the goddess and bowing before the power of the Damon Amulet. I pushed the essence of the tiger into my brother and then stood on shaking legs, watching as the man and the tiger dueled for control. Ren’s skin rippled and tore, healed and stretched, as time moved slowly around him.
Ana took my hand and guided me over to my other self. “You cannot put your hands on him,” she warned, “but you can gift him through me.”
Tiger's Dream (Tiger's Curse Book 5) Page 61
