She held Karlie’s gaze and saw the different emotions pass over it. Shock. Wonder. Joy. Confusion. Then nothing. Karlie cleared her throat before asking, “And that’s a bad thing, how?” She returned to eating, glancing at Bailey occasionally.
Bailey threw her hands up in the air. “You know what the aftermath of my parents' divorce looked like!”
Karlie nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t see what that has to do with you.”
“Everything! My mom was devastated when my dad left her and remarried. If that’s love, I don’t want it!”
Karlie’s brows rose and her eyes widened. “Whoa, who said everyone’s love story is like that? I mean, look at my parents. Look at Harry’s or even Jax’s. They’re all together and happily married.”
Bailey groaned. “You don’t get it.”
“Then enlighten me.”
“I don’t know how to explain it.” Bailey was growing frustrated. She thought the point of talking through everything was so she could feel better and move on, not be more annoyed or confused.
“Try me.”
Bailey ran a hand through her hair, trying to figure out how to say this so Karlie would understand. “My mom was devastated—”
“You’ve said that.”
“Let me finish.” Bailey glared at her. “She was never the same after all that. I remember my parents growing up. They were the gross ones always kissing and sneaking off together. If that turned into them divorcing, then why would I put myself through that?”
“Do you really think you and Harry would go through the same thing?”
Bailey thought carefully for a few moments before answering. “Not necessarily…”
Karlie nodded. “Exactly. That boy is so head over heels for you that he doesn’t know which way is up.”
Bailey snorted. “Right, and yet he’s trying to date other people?”
Karlie rolled her eyes. “The only reason he’s doing that is because he thinks you’re not interested. I can almost guarantee that if you asked him out and showed him you were serious, he’d say yes.”
As Bailey tried to figure out a retort, Karlie stood and gathered their trash, throwing it away before packing the leftovers into Bailey’s fridge. She then came to stand next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Bailey clutched it and looked up.
“You aren’t your parents. You and Harry have a different story than them. You owe it to yourself to at least try to be happy. I remember when the two of you first got together and what that looked like. Do you?”
Bailey nodded because she remembered all too well the joy and love she felt those few months she and Harry dated while she was in college.
“You need to find that Bailey again. The one that’s willing to take the chance on something amazing. And let’s be real, you and Harry finally dating again would be so freaking amazing that it’s not even funny to joke about it.”
Bailey smiled. “Just think about it,” Karlie continued. “Now, I’ve gotten rid of your booze. I don’t want you going to drink anything else, capeesh?”
Bailey nodded. “Good. Call me later if you need to talk or feel the urge to do something you shouldn’t.”
As Karlie turned to go, Bailey tightened her hold on her hand, pulling her back. “I know I don’t say it often enough, but thank you. Really and truly. You’re a great friend and I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes.”
Karlie smiled. “You’re pretty great yourself, even if you don’t feel it right now.”
With that, Karlie’s hand slipped from her grasp and she was left alone in her apartment. Karlie’s words rang loudly in her head as she stood and walked to her couch, sinking into the cushions.
She glanced around her apartment and shook her head at the amount of recycling she’d accumulated in only a night. She definitely relied on alcohol too much in the wake of her own confusion. It wasn’t the answer to anything.
Bailey had let fear run her life for too long with Harry. Though it might be too late, she owed it to herself, to them, to at least try and put herself out there. If he’d already moved on, then she’d figure out what to do then. Either way, she was going to try to get her man and she was going to do it without the help of alcohol.
Chapter Eighteen
Harry
Discordant notes filled the warehouse followed by grumbles. Harry winced, knowing the bad notes came from him.
“Dude, what the fuck is your issue?” Jax asked, glaring at Harry.
Harry hung his head. “I don’t know…”
“Well, figure it out!” Bentley shouted from behind him. “You’ve never had an issue playing this before, so this is bullshit!”
“For real. If you’re not gonna take this seriously, why am I even here?” Grayson joined in.
Their grumbles were all spot on. Harry was playing terribly today. He was even missing cues on songs he’d been playing and singing for years. He didn’t have an answer to give anyone for why today was just not a good day.
“We’re all allowed bad days…”
Jax snorted and Harry glanced at him. “Yeah, but not at the expense of our band members, man. Maybe we should just call it a day and regroup in a day or two.”
Harry shook his head. “No, come on guys. I’m just in a weird place. I’ll be fine. Let’s go through it again.”
He looked at everyone and they all returned his gaze, obviously not believing him. He wasn’t sure he believed himself either. When he looked at Veronica, though, she wasn’t looking at him like she didn’t believe him. Instead, she looked thoughtful, and her head was cocked to the side as she studied him.
His gaze lingered on her before he turned his attention to his guitar. He didn’t need to miss the cue for the song. That certainly wouldn’t win the guys over. He licked his lips as Bentley tapped out the three count and they launched into “Brown Eyed Girl.” As soon as they started playing, Harry knew it wouldn’t be good.
He was on beat, that was something, but his sound wasn’t right. Even though he’d tuned before they started practice, it didn’t sound like it. They suffered through the song and he heard the sighs of the guys each time a note wasn’t on key. At the end, Harry turned to face everyone.
“Right, well, I’m outta here. I got shit to do if we’re not doing this today.” Bentley stood and tucked his drumsticks into his back pocket as he picked up the duffel he’d dropped next to his drum set up. “I’ll catch y’all later.”
Grayson shook his head as he took his bass off. As he popped his case open, he glanced at Harry. “I don’t know what shit is going on with you today, but you need to sort it. We’ve got a lot coming up and you being off your game is going to fuck us all over.” He snapped the case shut and slung it over his shoulder. “So figure it out.” With one last hard look, Grayson spun and followed his brother out.
Harry sighed and ran his hands through his hair, pushing it away from his face.
“They’re not wrong, you know,” Jax said to his left.
Harry glanced at him. “What parting words do you have for me today?”
Jax looked at Harry before carefully placing his guitar in the hard case. He finally sighed and said, “I don’t have anything to say.”
With that, he walked away and pushed through the door to the main part of their building. That left Harry and Veronica in the warehouse.
He grabbed the folding chair that was in front of his microphone and dropped into it, propping his guitar on his leg. He glared at the floor since he couldn’t glare at himself. He needed to get himself together because he couldn’t let his own issues hurt the band.
“Want to talk about it?” Veronica asked, dropping into a chair she pulled over to his.
He glanced at her. He’d honestly forgotten she was still there. He shrugged and looked back at the floor.
“I know you’re a guy and all that jazz, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need to talk it out.”
Harry snorted. Talking it out was the last thing he wanted t
o do. “I’m not sure about that.”
Veronica sighed and her chair creaked as she shifted. “So, you think I don’t know what it’s like? Whatever it is you’re going through?”
He shrugged.
They lapsed into silence for several moments before Veronica said, “You know, you’re allowed to feel confused about whatever it is that’s going on. Life isn’t always…on the straight and narrow, you know?”
Harry glanced at Veronica from the corner of his eye and noticed the pained look on her face. His brow furrowed as he realized he wasn’t sure how she was doing. They hadn’t talked in a while. “You okay?”
She waved her hand dismissively. “We’re here to talk about you, not me. So, what’s up?”
Harry rubbed a hand over his face and slouched in his chair, curling his arms around his guitar, cradling it like you would a baby. “I don’t even know.”
“I think you do. You never know, you might surprise yourself.”
He blew out a breath, making the hair that’d fallen into his face fly up before slowly floating back down. “I went on a date last night.”
He saw Veronica nod in his periphery. “That’s good. With Bailey?”
He snorted. “No, with a girl I met at Flashbacks named Emily.”
“Umm…you picked a girl up in a bar?” Veronica asked in disbelief.
He looked at her as he answered. “Yes and no. I met her before we left for the tour.”
“Ah.” She nodded in understanding. “Was it your first date with her?
He shook his head no and she continued. “Okay…well, did it go well?”
“Well…yes and no?”
She cocked a brow. “I think you’ll have to explain a bit more for me to get what you mean.”
He thought back to the night before and tried to think of what to say and how to say it. Was it a bad date? He wasn’t sure. He certainly knew it wasn’t the best he’d been on either.
“It was…okay.”
“Wow, so descriptive. I can’t wait to hear about the rest of it.” Veronica rolled her eyes.
Harry chuckled uncomfortably as he shifted in his seat. “Uh…okay. It started out fine. We chatted about a lot of stuff over dinner. Conversation wasn’t stilted, that’s for sure. No different than normal, I guess.”
Veronica nodded and made a continue motion.
“I just kept thinking about Bailey.”
“Okay…that still doesn’t tell me anything.” She looked at him expectantly.
“I kept comparing Emily to Bailey. Thinking that Bailey would do something different than her and how Bailey didn’t have issues doing something that Emily did.”
Veronica nodded. “So, you were comparing her to Bailey? Have you been doing this the entire time?”
Harry shrugged. “Maybe a little.”
Veronica scoffed. “Did she ever stand a chance?”
Harry’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Veronica pursed her lips before answering. “I mean, did Emily ever stand a chance with you? Why’d you decide to talk to her? Go out with her? See her for as long as you did? I think we’re all aware of how caught up in Bailey you are. You’ve been ‘with’ her for how long now? Six years?”
“Seven.”
Veronica snapped her fingers and smiled in triumph. “See? You’ve been with her without being with her for seven years. Why? Why haven’t you moved on before now?”
That was the question of the hour, wasn’t it?
“I can see you thinking hard about it.” Veronica broke into his thoughts. “I think you know exactly why, you just don’t want to admit it.”
Harry grunted. He didn’t want to admit she was right because that meant he was deluding himself on moving on from Bailey.
“I’ve been holding out hope that Bailey would realize she wants to be with me.”
Veronica continued to look at him expectantly, but he wasn’t sure what it was she was looking for from him.
“What makes you think Bailey will ever feel that way? From everything we’ve seen, she’s content on her own.” Veronica asked, raising a brow.
Harry hadn’t really considered that before. What did make him think that Bailey would 'wake up' one day and realize she wanted to be with him? His shoulders slumped further at the thought that he was just spinning his wheels.
Veronica laid a hand on his arm, drawing his attention to her. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re right to wait it out. Bailey obviously cares for you, otherwise she wouldn’t have kept you in her life. I think we’ve all witnessed her rages when someone isn’t welcome.”
Harry winced as he remembered a few of those moments. When groupies got too close, she had no issue telling them where to go and what to do once they got there.
“So, I’m not some poor schmuck that has no idea that he’s wasting time?”
Veronica shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. I really need to know though, why’d you agree to go out with someone else?”
“Jax suggested it,” he admitted, rubbing his neck in discomfort and gave her a sheepish glance.
Veronica snorted. “You’re taking advice from Mr. Womanizer himself?”
“He’s settled down,” Harry said in Jax’s defense.
“Yeah, but only because you and Karlie both worked on him. I’d say Karlie had more to do with it than you did, though.”
“I probably shouldn’t have listened to him, should I?”
Veronica shrugged. “Hard to say. Did you pursue something with Emily because you actually wanted something or because you thought you should?”
He thought for several moments before saying, “Maybe a bit of both? She's really nice and I enjoyed talking to her. But…I don’t feel a spark there.”
Veronica nodded. “You’d say she’s friend material, but not girlfriend?”
Harry wiggled his hand in front of himself to show his indecision. “Maybe?”
They lapsed into silence. Harry dropped his gaze to his guitar, wishing that things in real life were as easy as it was when he was playing. He knew when he picked the guitar up that he was going to play well and make beautiful music. In life, he found himself doubting everything about his choices, worried each decision would be the wrong one.
“What are you going to do?” Veronica asked. Harry looked back at her with a questioning look on his face. “What are you going to do about Bailey?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ve held out this long, so part of me is like ‘what’s another few days.’ But the other part of me thinks I’m crazy for hoping that she’ll come around.”
“You could always talk to her, you know. Making unilateral decisions for women doesn’t usually go over well.”
Harry winced at Veronica’s words. They certainly hit the mark with him. Hadn’t he done just that with Bailey? She kicked him out, so he threw a small temper tantrum and ignored her for a month because things didn’t go his way. That wasn’t exactly his smartest decision to date.
“So, I should call her? Text her? Visit her?”
“I’d start with calling, maybe texting. Visiting might be too much.”
Harry nodded. He could do that. He and Bailey were always great conversationalists. There was never a lack of anything to talk about between the two of them.
“Harry.” He looked at Veronica again, meeting her gaze. “Don’t over think this. Y’all have a lot of history. Barring some major issue, I don’t see this not working in your favor. Just be yourself. Reach out to her. Talk to her like you used to. If she seems receptive, maybe ask her to dinner and see how it goes. It doesn’t have to be complicated.”
Veronica’s words made him feel better, though he wasn’t quite sure why that was. She hadn’t said anything super profound. In fact, she only validated him and his feelings more than anything.
She smiled at him and stood, raising her hands above her head to stretch. In doing so, her shirt rode up and he caught what looked like the bottom edge of a yellow and green bru
ise on her side.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked since he didn’t want to draw attention to her side.
She nodded as she gathered her things. “Yeah, why?”
He shrugged. “No reason. You just seem a bit more down than normal.”
“I’m fine. Thanks for asking, though.”
With a small smile, Veronica walked to the open double door by the loading dock where most of the band parked when they practiced. Left alone, Harry couldn’t help but think about what he wanted to do about Bailey. He now felt more sure than ever that Bailey was it for him. He just couldn’t help the doubt and fear that crept in that she would never feel the same.
Deciding that putting off the inevitable wouldn’t work, he shot her a quick text and then worked on getting their practice space cleaned up. He’d start with a text and maybe see if they could talk later that night, just feel the waters out like Veronica suggested. Then they could go from there.
Chapter Nineteen
Harry
Harry’s phone rang as he walked through his front door a few hours later. He pulled it out of his pocket as he juggled his guitar case and a bottle of water.
“Shit!” His bottle of water tumbled from his hand but fortunately didn’t bust.
He answered without checking the caller ID as he bent over to retrieve the bottle. “Hello?”
“Harry?” Bailey asked.
He paused half bent over at Bailey’s voice. This wasn’t who he had anticipated calling him, that was for sure. “Yeah. Hey.”
“Are you okay?” She sounded concerned.
“Yeah, I’m fine. You got me as I walked inside and I dropped a bottle of water.” He stood and placed his case down, leaning on it slightly as he waited to see how this conversation would play out.
“Oh, I can call back…”
“No, no, it’s fine. It’s all good.”
Neither of them said anything and a light humming filled the air between them. He cleared his throat. “Uh…so how ya been?”
“I’ve been…okay.” If her voice was anything to go by, she definitely wasn’t okay. She sounded sad if he had to try and quantify it.
Harry (Southern Sands Book 2) Page 12
