Transfer

by Aly Martinez

  My stomach lurched at her honesty. It was the first time she’d opened up even the slightest bit.

  And it wrecked me.

  I couldn’t have spoken around the lump in my throat if I’d tried. I didn’t try though; I just stared at her in absolute awe.

  Words couldn’t help her.

  But I could.

  That was the moment I officially threw in the towel as an undercover DEA agent. Fuck my job. Fuck the entire investigation. I wasn’t quitting on Clare Noir no matter how things ended. And, whether it was legal or not, I was going to find a way to make her safe.

  So she’d never need another goddamn wish again.

  Of course I’d wanted to help and protect her.

  But the way I felt for Clare had gotten way the fuck out of hand over the last few weeks.

  My job was to get her to talk about her life, find out all the dark, dirty secrets about Walter’s operations she’d hopefully slip and tell us. But, secretly, I was trying to figure out a way to get her the fuck out. So I started asking her about the past in hopes she had a family she could go back to.

  During those conversations, she told me about Clare.

  Not the wife of a criminal.

  Not the frightened victim of domestic abuse.

  Not even the mother.

  She gave me the real woman.

  And I drank her in like a man on the brink of dehydration.

  It was wrong on so many levels. She did not need me, the man who’d been sent to investigate her, to develop feelings for her. It’d happened anyway.

  And here I was, going to get her daughter while wishing I never had to let them go.

  “Hey, Tessi,” I cooed.

  She dove out of Roman’s lap and into my open arms. I caught her just before she fell.

  “Easy there,” I whispered into the top of her hair.

  When she’d seen me prowling up behind Walt and Clare while they’d been fighting in the driveway, she’d sprinted to me. That alone validated every repercussion I’d face with the DEA for having passed Roman information about the Noir family.

  In a lot of ways, I was just as selfish as Walter when it came to Clare. I wanted her as my own. But I’d never hurt her—hurt them. My heart had crossed the line as far as she was concerned, but I wouldn’t allow my body or my mind to follow suit.

  She’d had too much taken from her already—physically and emotionally.

  If I’d made any kind of move on her while she was at her weakest, that’s exactly what I’d have been doing—taking.

  For Clare, I’d give.

  I’d pack it all down. Make sure she got out of this alive and without any more scars than she’d already acquired. And then I’d walk away so she could find a better life. One where she smiled every day and graced the world with the masterpiece that was her laughter.

  “Where’s Mama?” Tessa asked, dropping her head to my shoulder, her little arms circling around my neck.

  By God, it was going to hurt like hell to let them go.

  I smoothed her unruly curls down. “Let’s go find her, sweet girl.”

  I’d been trying to get in touch with Roman for over an hour. He was late. Though it was the first time he’d been back to the office since we’d rekindled our relationship. So my idea of late might not have been his. It was creeping on eight, and the dinner I’d made was getting cold for the third time. I was about to give up rewarming it.

  “Alex,” I called to the bodyguard who had been assigned to me after one of Noir’s men had broken into our house.

  We still hadn’t been back to that place, but after a massive shopping spree, my old Victorian was starting to feel like a home. I’d been making a list of things I needed to retrieve from the old house, and Roman had been sending Devon, our other bodyguard, over to pick them up. I’m sure it was a pain in the ass, and I’d decided earlier that afternoon, when I’d had to strain spaghetti with a dishtowel, that we just needed to make the decision to move once and for all.

  I’d had no intentions of ever leaving our old house. We’d made so many memories there. But maybe a fresh start was exactly what we needed.

  Roman had only proposed the day before, but I suspected he’d have me at the courthouse as soon as it opened back up after the Thanksgiving holiday.

  Same man.

  New life together.

  Maybe a new house wouldn’t hurt, either.

  “Yeah, Elisabeth,” Alex answered, peeking his head out from the closed-off dining room that had been converted into the security room. He had a phone to his ear, but it was angled away from his mouth, which let me know I had his full attention.

  “You want some chicken parmesan?” I asked, tipping my head at the pot on the stove. “I mean…I use alfredo sauce, so it’s really just breaded chicken with white sauce and parmesan. But same thing.”

  Alex never refused a meal. Both guys ate a lot, but Alex was a machine. I’d never seen a human capable of downing that much food in one sitting and then, an hour later, come back for an equally impressive second serving. But I guessed, when you were six six and wore a suit of rock-hard muscles, you had to find fuel somewhere.

  “I’m good. Thanks though,” he said, quickly closing the door.

  “Well, okay, then,” I mumbled to myself and bent to the bottom cabinet to grab a stack of Tupperware.

  He’d eat it eventually. Either that or four chickens had sacrificed their breasts for nothing.

  As I got the food situated, I struggled to keep my head straight and tell myself Roman wasn’t throwing himself back into the office twenty-four-seven the way he had before we’d divorced.

  This was different.

  Or so I chanted as I tidied the kitchen up and got ready to spend the rest of the night on the couch—alone, with a book. The familiarity settled heavily in my stomach.

  “Elisabeth?” Alex said, emerging from his room a little while later.

  I couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was something in his tone that set me on alert.

  My heart sped as he closed the distance between us. Squatting in front of me on the couch, he extended his phone my way.

  I braced, not wanting to take it, and the wariness in his eyes told me he was bracing, too.

  “It’s Roman,” he said softly.

  A rush hit me, and I snatched the phone from his hand and lifted it to my ear. “Are you okay?”

  “Lis,” he breathed. It was a single syllable, but a palpable mixture of relief and anxiety poured through the phone.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, pushing to my feet, Alex following me up.

  “Everything’s fine. Calm down, baby.”

  “Then why are you calling me on Alex’s phone? And why do you sound like you’re about to drop some seriously bad news?”

  “Alex is gonna hang with you the rest of the night. I’m not sure when I can get home. And I don’t want you to be alone.”

  My insides coiled tighter. “Roman, please tell me what’s going on.”

  “We got her, Lis.”

  A shudder shook my shoulders. “Who?” God, please let it be who I’m hoping it is.

  “Tessa, baby.”

  My hand flew to my mouth, and tears pricked the backs of my lids. “You got her?”

  “Yeah. And Clare, too,” he added.

  “Oh God,” I whispered with burning lungs.

  “Listen to me. Everything is fine. They’re safe now. But they were a little banged up, so we’re up at the hospital.”

  He hadn’t even finished before I was darting toward the door. Alex suddenly stepped in front of me.

  “Move,” I ordered, not interested in any further conversation.

  A daughter I had never met and the woman who had been raising her were currently at the hospital. In a few minutes, I was going to be there, too.

  “Elisabeth,” Roman called.

  I was more focused on Alex. “Move!” I barked, snatching my keys from the basket next to the door.

  “Talk to Ro
man,” he replied.

  “I’m talking to you. And I said move!”

  “Elisabeth!” Roman yelled, catching my attention.

  Narrowing my eyes on Alex, I snapped into the phone, “What?”

  “You cannot come up here,” he answered.

  Roman being bossy wasn’t exactly something new. However, the conviction in his voice took me aback.

  “What?” I repeated—sans the attitude.

  “Baby, it’s not safe. I need you to hang tight there and stay close to Alex. Devon’s on his way up here now, and I’m gonna call Leo and see about getting a few more guys sent down tomorrow.”

  My heart sank, and a swarm of angry bumblebees came alive in my belly. “Wh…what do you mean it’s not safe? You’re there, Roman.”

  “And I’ll be okay. I swear. But I can’t have you up here right now. Things did not exactly go as planned, and I have a feeling getting them away from Noir was just the beginning. This could go two ways: the DEA got him and he’s currently on his way to jail, or he could show up here, guns drawn, ready to reclaim a family that is not his anymore.”

  None of that sounded good. It actually sounded really fucking bad.

  “Roman, maybe you should come home.”

  “I carried Tessa out, Lis.”

  “Okay,” I drawled in confusion.

  “She was terrified. Shaking and bleeding in my arms. But she held onto my neck and trusted me to take care of her.”

  The ache in my chest grew as I imagined that scene. I hated that Roman could possibly be in danger, but knowing he had been there when she had been scared and bleeding did some serious things to my heart. Tears finally made their way from the corners of my eyes.

  He continued. “If that maniac shows his face up here, trying to get to her, he will have to go through me. And, Lis, when I say that, I mean he will die trying to get through me, because I’m coming home, baby. And I’m bringing Tessa with me.”

  “And Clare?” I choked out immediately.

  His voice softened. “And Clare, as long as you feel comfortable with that.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Jesus, you’re an amazing woman,” he breathed as though he’d been worried I would say no.

  I wasn’t an amazing woman. I was just a mother. Who understood that losing your child was the most agonizing experience a person could experience. And, regardless of whose DNA was coursing through that little girl’s veins, Clare was her mother. I wouldn’t take that away from her. Ever.

  “Roman, listen to me. Tessa may or may not be biologically ours, but regardless, she’s Clare’s daughter. Do not go in there barking at her and ordering her around, telling her how it’s going to be. Ask her if she wants to come here. She might have family or someone she’d feel more comfortable with right now. And that’s okay—”

  “Bullshit!” he interrupted. “That is not fucking okay. She’s away from Walter. But she is far from out of the woods. So they’re coming to stay with us, and we’re gonna make them safe.”

  While he had an excellent point, I didn’t figure that his attitude was going to go over well with anyone else.

  I made a suggestion. “Perhaps you shouldn’t be the one to talk to her.”

  “No, I should definitely be the one to talk to her. However, Light’s head might explode if I raise my voice above a whisper in her presence. He’s been all over anyone who has so much as looked in her direction. So I’ll go out on a very short limb and say it’s gonna be him who talks to her. But it’s gonna be me who talks to him.”

  Interesting about Heath and Clare.

  And good.

  I’d only met Heath Light once, so I couldn’t be sure of what kind of bedside manner he had in the face of a crisis, but I knew Roman Leblanc well enough to know he needed to stay the hell out of it.

  So, with that decision made, I replied, “Okay, Roman.”

  “Now, where’s your head at right now? You straight with all of this?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve had about thirty seconds to process it.”

  “Okay, how about this? You got any questions or concerns? Let me put your mind at ease, and then I need to get back in there.”

  “Um…” I had a million.

  What does it feel like to hold her? What does she sound like? Is she still scared? Why was she bleeding? Is she going to be okay? What about Clare? How did he even end up with them?

  However, I was certain I wasn’t going to get the answers to any of those questions right then.

  But the fact that he was dealing with all of that and had still taken the time to make sure my head was straight was crazy sweet. My heart overflowed with love for that man.

  I needed to be strong. For him. For Tessa. For Clare.

  I glanced up at Alex, who was hovering beside me. I shot him an apologetic smile and said, “I’m good, Roman. And I’d be better if you don’t come home with bullet holes.”

  He chuckled. “I’ll do my best.”

  “I love you. Call me back when you can.”

  “Love you, too. Stay tight with Alex, okay?”

  “Okay. I’m about to force-feed him some chicken parmesan.”

  “Alfredo?” he asked, a content smile in his voice.

  “You know it.”

  He laughed. “Utilize some of that Tupperware you hoard and save your man a plate.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll update soon.”

  “Okay.”

  “Love you, Lis.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I listened for a few minutes longer, but he’d hung up.

  With our connection severed, my courage evaporated. Regardless of what I’d told Roman, I was not okay.

  I was basically freaking the hell out.

  Get it together, Elisabeth.

  Sucking in a shaky breath and pasting on a smile, I turned to Alex and passed him his phone back. “So, you want to eat first or tell me who you were talking to on the phone earlier who was so important that you were able to perform the unfathomable feat of turning down food?”

  He grinned. “Eat.”

  I headed to the fridge to unpack the food. “Okay. Then, after that, since it seems we are stuck together, you can fill me in on your mystery woman.”

  He frowned.

  “Or man,” I corrected.

  He frowned deeper.

  I shrugged and added, “Or you can help me pick out furniture for the guest rooms we need to miraculously have furnished by tomorrow.”

  I honestly didn’t know that it was possible, but at the prospect of online furniture shopping, he frowned even deeper.

  He propped his hip on the counter and studied me as I prepared his plate. I did my best to keep up the façade while dishing noodles out, but just as I handed it over, he caught my elbow to stop me from backing away.

  I dramatically craned my head up.

  Alex was a handsome man. The strong, silent type. Devon would have given me a pep talk and assured me that everything was okay. It was Alex though, so all I got was an arm squeeze. But, despite how hard I was trying to keep it together, that simple gesture was more than enough to break me.

  Bursting into tears, I face-planted against his barrel chest.

  I vaguely heard him mutter a curse as he awkwardly patted my back.

  But I was lost in a world where I had a daughter and I’d just had to ask my ex-husband-fiancé-love-of-my-life not to come home with bullet holes.

  Yeah. I had questions for Roman, all right.

  How the hell was this my life?

  After a team of doctors and nurses had poked, prodded, and inspected every inch of me, they decided to keep me overnight. I assumed that it was more for a mental evaluation than anything to do with my physical injuries. I couldn’t blame them; I was a mess.

  After Heath brought back Tessa, I spent the next two hours holding her while staring off into space and trying to put the puzzle pieces together to figure out how I’d ended up there.

  Shock was
what the doctors had called it as I’d listened to them assure an extremely concerned Heath that I’d be okay after I’d gotten some rest. I’d refused the sedatives and pain medications they’d offered. I didn’t need to be drugged up or asleep when Walt finally showed up.

  Roman occasionally poked his head into the room to check on us, and I caught sight of uniformed officers guarding the door, but Heath wouldn’t allow any of them to come inside.

  He sat stoically in a chair at the foot of the bed, staring at me as though he were afraid I’d disappear if he so much as blinked. His long legs stretched out in front of him and his broad shoulders reclined against the back of the chair, but he was as far from relaxed as a person could get. His jaw clenched, his lips pursed tightly, and his hands constantly opened and closed at his sides. It appeared as though it were taking a great deal of effort to keep his ass in the chair and not up pacing the room. Or pulling me into his arms—but that was only wishful thinking, considering he hadn’t actually touched me since we had gotten to the hospital.

  Tessa had fallen asleep in my arms, and though the nurses had rolled a bed in for her, I refused to put her down.

  With the day’s drama finally slowing, my mind began to churn with questions. Most importantly, who exactly was Heath Light/Luke Cosgrove? It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out he was some sort of law enforcement officer. Rarely did normal guys walk around with two different identities. Not that I was an expert on normal anymore.

  I was dying to know how much of this man sitting at the foot of my bed was Heath—the cop.

  And how much of him was Luke—my only friend.

  As the clock ticked past midnight and into a new day, I found the courage to finally open my mouth.

  “So, you’re a cop?” I accused, Tessa’s head rising and falling with every heave of my chest.

  “I’m a DEA Agent,” he answered, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees, his gaze never shifting from mine.

  I cut my gaze to the wall as they filled with tears of betrayal. I knew it, but hearing him confirm it burned in ways I never could have anticipated.

  He was just my personal trainer. It wasn’t like we’d forged an everlasting bond over squats and crunches in the gym. But, when you’re completely alone in life, surrounded by darkness on all sides, it doesn’t take much more than a warm smile and simple conversation to convince yourself that maybe there was more.