She’d never questioned his love for her or the baby. What her husband had failed to recognize was Jolene’s reaction to having another woman in the house.
Turning on the television, Rachel flipped through the channels until she located a news program. She’d often enjoyed sitting with Bruce after dinner as they savored a cup of freshly brewed coffee and discussed their day while the television played in the background. She missed those evenings.
But she didn’t miss Jolene slamming around in the kitchen or bedroom. Her stepdaughter resented every minute Rachel spent with Bruce. There’d been no sign of it before they were married, but once Bruce slipped the wedding band on her finger, it was all-out war. It didn’t help that Rachel had tried to bring a bit of badly needed discipline into her stepdaughter’s life.
Oh, why was she doing this to herself? Rehashing the past was pointless. Rachel had gone over everything in her mind dozens—no, hundreds—of times. Reviewing the past few months with Jolene and Bruce only upset her. Slumped down in the chair, she was listening to the weather report when the door opened and Nate came in.
“You’re here,” he said, pausing halfway into the room.
“Are you surprised?”
“Yeah, I guess so. You generally aren’t around when I am.”
Rachel had purposely stayed out of Nate’s way as much as possible. This living arrangement was temporary and she didn’t want to burden him by being constantly underfoot. It wasn’t uncommon for her to see a late-afternoon movie, go to the Bremerton library or just stroll through the mall to kill an hour or two. She wanted to give Nate a chance to get home and get ready for his date with Emily or his evening with friends—or whatever he had planned.
“I was beginning to wonder if I had a housemate or not,” he said, removing his jacket.
“Didn’t you have a date tonight?”
“I did, but something came up and Emily had to cancel.”
“Would you like me to make dinner?” She’d never enjoyed cooking for one; it always felt like a lot of work for very little return.
“No, thanks. I’m meeting people at Phil’s Tavern down town. I’ll pick up something there.”
Rachel knew the sports bar was a popular hangout with the military crowd. Monday-night football was a big attraction. “Have a good time.”
“I will.” Nate disappeared upstairs to his bedroom and Rachel finished watching the news.
She was in the kitchen, searching through her half of the cupboards for inspiration, when Nate left. He waved on his way out the door. When she’d first accepted his invitation Rachel had worried that he might want to re-kindle their romance. Fortunately, that hadn’t been the case. Rachel had met his girlfriend, Emily, and liked her; she felt that Emily suited him far better than she ever had. The situation was ideal—or as ideal as it could be while Rachel was separated from her husband.
She ate a lonely dinner at the kitchen table while paging through a six-month-old golf magazine. She finished that in short order. Needing something else to occupy her mind, she reached for a pencil and the newspaper to do the crossword puzzle.
That was when she felt it.
At first she wasn’t sure—and then it happened again.
The baby moved.
She pressed her hand to her stomach. “Well, hello,” she whispered. At her last visit, the doctor had told her she could expect to feel movement at any time. This was so light, like a butterfly landing on her arm, that for an instant she hadn’t even thought it was the baby.
She wanted to share this joy, but there was no one to tell. Not Bruce. Not Nate. No one.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she got her cell and called her husband.
As she’d feared, Jolene answered. “It’s Rachel.” Waiting for a sarcastic remark, she closed her eyes.
“Hi,” the thirteen-year-old said, sounding almost friendly. That quickly changed and Jolene’s voice hardened as she asked, “What do you want?”
It didn’t seem possible but for a second or two she wondered if Jolene had softened toward her… .
“Could I speak to your father?”
Jolene didn’t respond but Rachel heard her set down the phone and call her father. “Dad! It’s Rachel.”
“Rachel?” Bruce was on the line immediately, firing questions at her. “Where are you? Are you all right? Is anything wrong with the baby?”
“I’m fine,” she said, “and so is the baby.”
“Why did you block my number so I can’t call your cell?”
She didn’t want him checking up on her two or three times a day. The scene at the salon had left a bitter taste, and she’d blocked his numbers shortly after that.
“Like I said, I’m fine,” she assured him, rather than answer his question.
“The baby?”
“Yes.”
“Have you had the ultrasound yet?”
“Yes. A couple of days ago.”
“Did you find out what we’re having? A boy? A girl? One of each would suit me just fine,” he teased.
She didn’t even try to keep the smile out of her voice. “I asked the ultrasound technician not to tell me.”
“You don’t want to know?”
“I’d rather be surprised.”
There was a moment’s silence.
“I suppose Jane told you I stopped by the salon,” he murmured.
Actually, Rachel had been too busy to call her former employer in the past week. “No, she didn’t mention it.”
“Are you working? Do you need anything? Money? Groceries?”
“I can take care of myself, Bruce, but thank you for asking.” He did seem to worry about her, which made Rachel miss him all the more.
“You have another job?”
“I do.” She didn’t give him any more information, preferring to keep it to herself for fear of another embarrassing encounter at her workplace. She hoped to continue working at the shipyard until the baby was born.
“You have a job at another salon?”
“No.” Again, she didn’t elaborate.
“You left because of what happened that day with Jolene?”
The answer was obvious, so she didn’t reply. “How is Jolene?” she asked, broaching the subject of her step-daughter cautiously. Rachel hoped that once she was out of the house, their broken relationship could begin to heal. Perhaps that was an unrealistic expectation; Rachel no longer knew.
“Jolene is…adjusting,” he said, as though searching for the right word.
“Adjusting,” Rachel echoed, trying to determine exactly what he meant.
An awkward silence followed. What he didn’t say told her more than what he did. Nothing had really changed. Still, the biting sarcasm was gone when Jolene had initially answered the phone. It might be premature to feel hopeful, but she couldn’t resist grabbing hold of that small piece of encouragement.
“The nurse at the obstetrician’s said you’d called the office to ask about me and the baby.”
“Are you angry?”
“No…no, not at all. I—I was pleased.”
“You were?”
“I don’t mean to hide from you, Bruce. But…well, it’s difficult. For now, I think it’s best if we have limited contact.”
“I can’t accept that,” he said swiftly. “It’s been over a week since we talked and you kept the conversation so brief I hardly had a chance to find out how you are.”
“I kept it brief because you wouldn’t stop badgering me about where I’m living and for now that isn’t important.”
“Why is it such a secret?”
Rachel didn’t want this conversation to end on the same negative note as the one a week earlier. “You’re doing it again.” Eventually she’d tell him she was living with Nate but at the moment her roommate was the least of their concerns.
“Okay, sorry. If you want me to pretend I don’t care about you, then I will.” He sounded frustrated, and that made her feel guilty.
“Bruc
e, please—”
“Can I see you?” he cut in. “Or is that asking too much? I need to see you, Rachel. At least give me that.”
“I…guess we could meet.”
“When?”
“Friday night?” she suggested.
“We could go out for Mexican.”
Rachel smiled and lifted her hair off her forehead. “I’m afraid Mexican food doesn’t agree with me these days.” One taste and she had an instant attack of heartburn. She trusted this would pass after the baby was born.
“You choose, then. Any place you want. D.D.’s?”
“Okay, D.D.’s on the Cove, it is.”
She could almost feel Bruce’s spirits rise.
“I have missed you so much,” he said.
“I’ve missed you, too,” she whispered.
“I can’t wait to see you.”
“I called because—”
“I don’t care why, I’m just happy you did,” Bruce said.
“I felt the baby move for the first time this evening.”
“The baby moved?” he asked excitedly. “Yes…”
“You’re taking good care of yourself?”
“Of course.”
“Eating right?”
She laughed. “Yes.”
“Friday can’t come soon enough for me.”
“Me, neither.” She wondered if Jolene was listening in, and what her stepdaughter would say when Bruce hung up the phone. It broke her heart that she and Jolene had lost the closeness they’d once shared. But at this point she didn’t know how to regain the girl’s trust.
“Before we meet, there’s something I want to tell you,” Bruce said.
“Okay.” He sounded so serious.
“I’ve seen a family counselor.”
This was a huge step for him, and it gave her hope that they could resolve their problems before the baby arrived.
“Did Jolene go with you?”
He didn’t respond, but that was answer enough.
“Maybe she will next time,” Rachel said, trying to encourage him. “At some point I’m sure the counselor will want to see all three of us.”
“Four,” Bruce corrected. “You’re forgetting the baby.”
She smiled. “You’re right.”
“Will you call again soon?”
“How soon?”
“Fifteen minutes?”
She smiled and leaned against the wall.
“Maybe we should start all over,” he said, lowering his voice. “Ease back into a relationship.”
Rachel bit her lip, tempted by his suggestion. “Do you think that would help Jolene?”
“I don’t know, but it’s worth a try, don’t you agree?”
“Maybe.” She had to be careful. She loved him so much, he could convince her of almost anything. Except coming home…
“What’s Jolene doing Friday night?”
“She’ll be with a friend. She usually is.”
“What friend?”
“Carrie, I think.”
“You think?” Rachel had been afraid of this. Bruce had ceded all control to Jolene. Rachel had always insisted on knowing where Jolene was going and who she’d be with before she left the house, and Jolene had hated that.
“It’s either Carrie or Lucy. Why? What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is that your daughter needs supervision. Jolene is at a vulnerable age. She needs boundaries.”
“I told her she had to be home before midnight.”
“Midnight?” Rachel thought she was going to be sick. “A thirteen-year-old should be home and in bed long before then. Have you lost your mind?”
“Can we talk about this later?” Bruce said after a strained moment.
“That might be best.”
“Shall I meet you at D.D.’s at six?”
“I’ll be there.” Then, because she felt the urge to talk to Jolene, the urge to try yet again, she asked Bruce to put her stepdaughter on the line.
It was a couple of minutes before Jolene got on the phone. “What?” she demanded.
“I understand you’re taking good care of your father,” Rachel said, thinking that if she began with a compliment, the conversation might go more smoothly.
“I told you before—we don’t need you here.”
“And you’re right, you don’t.” That obviously wasn’t what Jolene had expected. “Your father and I are going out for dinner on Friday night.”
“Great,” she muttered sarcastically. “You aren’t moving back, though, are you?”
“No.”
“Good, because it’s been really nice around here without you.”
Rachel didn’t doubt that was true—in Jolene’s mind, if not Bruce’s. Rachel responded with silence.
“Dad and I are as close as ever.”
Rachel decided to ignore that, too. “I wanted to tell you I felt the baby move today.”
For the first time since she’d picked up the phone, Jolene didn’t have anything derogatory to say.
Rachel continued. “The doctor says the baby—”
“Do you know yet if it’s a boy or girl?”
“Your father asked me the same thing. No, I didn’t want to be told. I’d rather be surprised.”
“Oh.” Jolene seemed disappointed.
“Do you want a baby brother?”
She hesitated. “I guess.”
“A sister would be nice, too,” Rachel said. “Someone you could be friends with later on. I always wanted a sister.”
“I did, too. When I was little.”
“Either way, this baby is going to be happy to have a big sister,” Rachel said. “It was nice chatting with you, Jolene. Maybe we can do it again, okay?”
“We can talk,” Jolene whispered, “as long as you don’t move back.”
Sixteen
“Oh, Mom,” Tanni whispered as she stepped into her mother’s bedroom. “You look so beautiful.”
Shirley blushed. “Oh, Tanni, do I?” She was about to be married and felt more unsettled than she could ever remember being.
A small wedding was what both she and Larry wanted. Just family and a few friends. Tanni had agreed to be her maid of honor and Miranda would serve as her one and only bridesmaid.
The wedding would take place in the small chapel at the Catholic church, with Father Donahue presiding. Larry and his children had flown in from California early that morning. They either had to get married in this two-day window or wait another three months until he returned from his travels.
To Larry, the three months seemed far too long, since they’d already made up their minds. Shirley had never intended to fall in love again; she’d certainly never expected to. Meeting Larry had overturned all her preconceived ideas about living the rest of her life as a widow.
As Larry said, they were meant to be together.
Together.
That was almost worthy of a laugh. With his lecture tour and painting schedule, they’d have this forty-eight-hour period, and then he was off to New York for two weeks, followed by a European tour. Naturally Larry wanted her to go with him, and she would’ve loved it.
But unfortunately, it wasn’t possible. Shirley couldn’t pull Tanni out of school or take off for weeks at a time. She wasn’t willing to leave her seventeen-year-old daughter to fend for herself. She also had several commissions she was working on and couldn’t abandon what she’d been contracted to complete. Above all, she was Tanni’s mother and Tanni needed her to be at home.
Losing her father had been a terrible blow to her teenage daughter, and Shirley wasn’t going to subject Tanni to another massive change, just when she was starting to cope.
The plan was that they’d have their wedding Friday afternoon, honeymoon for two days and then Larry would be gone for nearly eleven weeks.
The ceremony was lovely, and both families went to dinner afterward. She was relieved to see how well her children and Larry’s got along. They joked and teased as if they’d known
one another all their lives.
Larry clasped her hand beneath the dinner table. “Are you ready to get out of here?” he said in a low voice.
“Now?” Shirley asked. She was enjoying the families’ interactions and hated to have everything end so soon.
“We can stay as long as you like, but we do have a three-hour drive ahead of us.”
This was news to Shirley. She’d planned the wedding, but had left the honeymoon to Larry.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“I have good friends who own a summer home near Leavenworth, which they’ve lent us.”
The Bavarian-style village in the eastern part of the state was one of her favorite places. Since it was an artists’ community, she wasn’t surprised that Larry had friends living there.
Larry squeezed her fingers. “Let me know when you’re ready.”
Shirley squeezed back. “We can leave now.”
Except that it took at least half an hour to get away, since everyone wanted to wish them well. Still holding hands, Larry led her to the front of the restaurant, where the valet had brought their rental car. Larry helped her in, and with their friends and family gathered around, they drove off to waves and shouts.
“We’re on our way,” Larry said, glancing at her as he pulled out of the circular drive. “Finally.”
Shirley smiled at him.
“You’re a beautiful bride,” he said.
“And you’re an exceptionally handsome groom,” she returned. “Are you happy?”
“Very much so—and sad, too.”
“Sad? Why?” she asked.
“Because we have so little time.”
Shirley didn’t want to think about the future, other than this coming weekend. Somehow they’d make it through the next eleven weeks. Then, after Tanni left for college, they could live together in California.
“Have I ever told you how much I enjoy Leavenworth?” she asked. They often spoke for two and three hours at a time. Shirley supposed she must have mentioned her fondness for the town at some point.
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