by Emelia Blair
“Mhm.” She makes a sound of agreement and wraps her arms around my neck to pull me into another kiss, to my utter delight.
It’s only when a few people near us clear their throats that she pulls away, her cheeks flushed pink. “Let’s get some hot chocolate. I saw a stand nearby as we pulled in.”
It’s pretty cold and even I start to feel the cold seep in through the neck of my jacket.
I knew I should have grabbed the other jacket. I hadn’t anticipated LA being this cold.
Unexpectedly, I feel something warm touching my skin and I still only to see Kendall wrapping her scarf around my neck. “I don’t—”
“Shut up,” she says pleasantly. “If your ears turned any bluer, you’d resemble Jack Frost.”
“You need this more than I do.” I try to take off the scarf.
She yanks at my hand which is attempting to unwrap the scarf. “No, I don’t.”
I lower my other hand, reluctantly, feeling at a loss at being taken care of. I don’t know how to react. All my life, no one has ever looked after me just because.
I remember the stone in my pocket, and now this. Whatever Kendall gives me, no matter how immaterial, I end up treasuring. “I might never give this back,” I tell her, fingering the ends of the knitted scarf.
She tries to hide her smile. “It’s okay. I figured you for a hoarder.”
I can’t take my eyes off her as we stroll through the park. Even in winter, it’s lit up beautifully. There’s something different about her, something lighter, more relaxed.
I don’t realize that I’ve said it out loud till she looks startled.
Then something flashes across her face, and she looks up at me. “I – I’m happy.” She looks puzzled by it as if it is something foreign to her.
I can understand that. The minute I laid eyes on her, last year, was at a point when I had been starting to give up on ever finding her again. And now, here she was, safe and secure, in my bed, in my life.
I just hold her closer, this strange warmth in my chest warring with the coldness that’s resided there for years. “Let’s get something to eat.”
The next few days are spent in discovering each other, in and out of bed.
Learning Kendall’s body is something I indulge in at every given opportunity and I really want to extend our stay here, but we have to get back at some point and as we fly to the airport, she looks a little unsettled.
“What is it?” I ask after she sighs for what’s probably the fifth time in a row.
She slumps in the seat and puts her hands over her stomach, sullen. “I don’t want to go back.”
“I know.”
She droops even more. “Things are going to be awkward. I know they will. Don’t tell me they won’t.”
“You don’t know that,” I say unhelpfully.
She sighs again. “I can’t believe I climbed into bed with you so quickly. I mean I could have made you work for it a little bit, but no, I jump onto you like a horny little –” she struggles with the last word, ending lamely with “–thing.”
“Where did that come from?” Surprise courses through me, this completely random direction in conversation making me turn towards her.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Twenty-seven years, I’ve been a saint, you tell me who you are, and suddenly I’m all over you.” She sounds annoyed.
I muffle my laugh with a cough. “If it makes you feel better, I was hell bent on seducing you. Besides…” I drop a kiss on her cheek, grinning. “I quite like how this turned out.”
She glances at me, reluctantly. “I’m sorry. I do this sometimes. Things go too well, and I just start picking it apart, looking for the flaws to tear it down myself before somebody else does. It’s a bad habit.”
“Kendall.” I wait until she’s looking at me and I cup her cheek. “It’s okay. You can pick and prod all you want. This is a massive adjustment for you and a little bit for me as well. But we’re together now. As long as you hold on to that, everything else just pales in significance.”
She leans into my touch. “Smooth talker much?” But the heaviness in her expression fades and she looks calmer now.
We board my private jet a few hours later and as we’re flying back, I realize that things will be vastly different, and I need to be prepared for it.
16
Kendall
“Let me get this straight?” Tracy is giving me a dumbfounded look. “So, you find out who he is, and then you get upset, and then you sleep with him?”
I’m sitting at the kitchen counter, looking like a child being chastised. “Well—kind of, yeah.”
“That is highly irresponsible, Kendall!” Tracy kneads the dough roughly, scowling.
A sound from my right makes me scowl. “Why does he have to be here for this conversation?”
Duke smiles amiably. “Because Caleb is shit at telling these things. I asked him and he told me to fuck off.”
“Then maybe you should,” I growl at him.
He just pops a peanut into his mouth. “Nah, I’m good.”
“Tracy!” I call out to her.
My friend shrugs. “I’m not kicking him out. If he hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t even have found out.”
I grumble and shoot Duke a dirty look. “You’re such a tattle tale.”
The bigger man gives me a mocking look back. “I didn’t know you hadn’t told your best friend. I mean, I knew.”
This just gives more cause to see Tracy annoyed and as she starts making little dough balls, she looks ready to murder me. “He has a point.”
I spot a box to her right with my name on it and I lean towards it. “What’s this?”
“Some guy, Jace, from your company came by to drop it off. Nosy little thing. Cute though. Now stop trying to change the subject.”
I give Duke a malicious look. “He is pretty good-looking, isn’t he? Want me to set you up on a date with him, Tracy?”
Duke stiffens.
Tracy frowns. “He’s not my type. Besides, he was a bit too snoopy. He had to use the restroom and I found him leaving your room. Said he got lost.”
I like Jace. He’s been one of the few people who made an effort to befriend me. So, I’m reluctant to share Tracy’s misgivings about him. “Maybe he did get lost,” I respond.
My friend shares a look with Duke before shrugging. “Maybe, but he had a shifty look about him.”
“It’s fine, Tracy. Just leave it,” I say, annoyed.
Tracy meets my eyes and decides to back off, for now. “Fine.” She’s about to say something when Duke’s phone buzzes and he leaves the apartment to take the call.
She waits until he’s gone and then drops the ball she’s been rolling in her palm and leans forward. “All right. What the hell were you thinking?”
I swallow heavily before I answer, “I don’t know, Trace. I just saw him and all these feelings that I’ve been trying to bury just came out and he’s an asshole but to me, he’s kind and loving and he makes me so mad at times and so happy at times, and I just saw him and I saw Harry and then they just blurred together. I don’t want to lose him, and I was scared and overwhelmed, and I just wanted him. Does that make sense?” I look up at her.
She’s giving me this exasperated look which is laced with fondness. “Not at all. But I’ve never seen you take a risk at anything. Caleb must really have stirred you up for you to take such a step.”
I run my hands over the marble counter. “He was so gentle in bed, Tracy. Kept asking me if I wanted him to stop. He says… he said that he wants to marry me. I didn’t answer him. I mean I didn’t know what to say.”
Tracy freezes at this news. “Do you want to marry him?”
I purse my lips. “I would consider that a reckless decision. I’d rather get to know him first, again. But I don’t regret sleeping with him. I love him. I loved who he was, and I love who he is now. I don’t know how I know that I love him. I just do. It’s this thing inside of me. I see him and
I feel like I’ve come home. Do you get that?”
Tracy looks sad for a minute. “I understand part of it. But after Gerald and what happened with him, I’m too scared to trust myself with a man.” She idly pokes a hole in the soft dough in front of her. “I’m not exactly the best judge of character.”
I’ve seen the way she looks at Duke and the way he looks at her, so I ask, “What about Duke? You two seem to be getting along pretty great.”
Tracy glances in the direction of the living area where Max is watching cartoons. “He’s – He’s good with Max. And he’s so wonderful, to be honest. But I don’t know. There’s something there.” And for the first time in a very long time, I see Tracy’s eyes shimmer with tears. “He makes me feel safe, Kendall. It’s been so long since I’ve felt safe and happy like this. And I don’t know what to do. What if it all goes to shit if I start dating him?” She sighs. “There are too many things to sort out in my headfirst to even consider this.”
I understand her reluctance. “I’ve got your back, thick or thin. But I honestly think Duke is good for you. And he’s really bonded with Max.”
Tracy sniffles. “He’s taking him to the seasonal playoffs next weekend. I said I’d go with them, but Max just wanted to go with him. He’s never had a male figure in his life and Duke has just been stepping in.” She gives me a little smile. “He got me a catering gig as well. It’s a small thing. One of Caleb’s friends or something. A private party but he’s offered to help me out with the work.”
I bite my lower lip. “Well, he’s certainly going out of his way for you.”
“I know.” Tracy’s voice is low, and she looks troubled.
And here I thought I was having problems.
The next day at work, I run into Elise who immediately starts asking me a dozen questions about the ball.
She looks heavily pregnant and concerned, I make her sit down. “You should be on maternity leave.”
“I know,” she says, grinning. “I just – the doctor says I’m coming along very nicely, and I do need the money.”
“It’s a paid maternity leave, Elise.”
“Two weeks,” she insists, laughing. “I’ve already talked to Lana.”
It seems to me that Elise doesn’t have many friends here. I find it odd considering what a cheerful person she is. But I have heard a few women discussing her in very unattractive terms. I don’t know what their problem is with her, but she’s been nothing but a good friend to me and in my book that deserves my loyalty.
“I saw your pictures,” Elise gushes, excitement making her eyes seem even more luminous. “You looked gorgeous, Kendall. I mean, that dress! It was the single most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And you were looking like this dark faerie, you know, so beautiful and unapproachable and cool. I read like fifteen articles that mentioned you.”
I feel awkward at this news. “I’ve kept away from the articles or anything related to the ball. It was a lovely event, but I don’t want to read negativity about myself in the media. I read maybe one article by mistake. It kind of bummed me out. But thank you. I’m happy you liked the dress.”
Elise leans in. “Well, you and Caleb were certainly the topic for discussion on quite a few morning talk shows. Apparently, he got annoyed when someone tried to flirt with you.”
“He did?” I feign puzzlement. “That’s news to me.”
Elise shakes her head, disappointed. “I don’t believe you.” And then she smirks, showing me her phone. “Try explaining this then.”
It’s a picture of me and Caleb on the terrace with me sitting and looking up at him and he’s leaning down towards me. It looks like an intimate moment and it was in reality, but I’m not ready to expose my relationship with Caleb just yet. “We were discussing work.”
“Yeah.” Elise sniggers. “Sure you were.”
I see the cup of hot chocolate on her desk, a brand that is frequented by the company lawyer, and I smile innocently. “I see Lucas brought you hot chocolate again. Say hi to him for me.”
“Bitch.” Elise laughs as she lets me go.
I stroll towards the elevator with a grin.
The doors are about to close behind me when I hear a strong British accent call out, “Hold the elevator!”
Automatically, I press the button and Oliver Thornton rushes in.
“Thanks.”
I nod.
I realize that it’s been a while since I’ve seen the man. “Morning, Mr. Thornton. How are you?”
He’s shrugging out of his jacket, scowling. “Just call me Oliver now. Where’s Caleb? He was supposed to meet me somewhere outside.”
“I just got in myself,” I tell him. “But I don’t have you on the schedule.”
“Fuck the schedule,” he says.
I nod gravely. “Of course. I’ll make a note of that.”
He eyes me now, and then says after a few moments, “I heard you made peace with my wife.”
“She’s very persistent,” I reply. “Doesn’t like to take no for an answer.”
Oliver barks in laughter. “No, she doesn’t.” He looks ridiculously pleased about this fact.
I think that if there’s ever a man I’ve seen madly in love with his wife, it’s him.
When we reach the top floor, it’s only to discover that Caleb isn’t in.
“Where the bullocks is he?” Oliver thunders.
“Did you try calling him?” I ask, politely, not the least bit fazed by the display of temper. I’ve seen Caleb’s. It’s a hundred times more terrifying.
“He’s not picking up,” Oliver growls at me.
I hear someone’s footsteps and we both look over in the direction of the door only to see Jace peek in. “Oh hey, Kendall. I thought you were back. Mr. Thornton.”
“Jace,” Oliver says in greeting.
Jace looks a little flushed, an air of agitation around him. “Ah, Kendall, do you think we could talk?”
“Right now?” I blink. “Sure. What is it?”
Jace looks uncertain, glancing at Oliver.
I’ve never seen him like this. Usually, he’s calm and cocky and sarcastic.
“Maybe later over lunch.”
A cool voice sounds from behind him, “Miss West is busy today. And judging by the files I know you’re working on, so should you be, Mr. Hunter. Unless you’re still aiming for that desk.” Caleb enters the room, looking annoyed at seeing Jace.
He just narrows his eyes at Caleb. “I was just inviting her to lunch.”
“Well, she’s busy.” Caleb stares at him, like one would at a lesser being, a look that he has mastered quite well. He can reduce anyone into tremors of self-doubt or to a lack of self-worth with one quelling look. He’s never turned it on me, but I suspect my reaction would be to hit him with something.
I am surprised though, at the hostility Caleb is displaying. I thought he liked Jace. “Maybe tomorrow,” I interject, wondering what’s crawled up Caleb’s ass and how to dislodge it with the least effort possible.
Jace glances at me and opens his mouth before Caleb cuts him off smoothly, “She’s quite busy this week, Mr. Hunter. She’ll get back to you.”
Yeah. Once I’ve received a thorough explanation from Caleb about why he’s acting like my secretary.
“Don’t worry, Jace. We can meet over dinner sometime.” I feel the weight of Caleb’s glare and cheerfully ignore him.
Jace leaves, looking sullen.
I shift my attention to the remaining men in my office, and blink at them.
Oliver is observing Caleb who in turn is shooting me a disapproving look.
“What?” I ask in response.
“Well,” Oliver breaks the resulting silence when Caleb just chooses to brood. “You’re certainly very popular, Miss West.”
“Kendall,” I correct him.
“Yes, well. Quite in demand, I see.”
“No, she’s not,” Caleb says, curtly. “Kendall get me a latte, please. And Oliver will have a cappuccino.”
Oliver scowls then. “I’ll have a latte as well.” He follows Caleb into his office.
As I prepare their drinks, I wonder over Caleb’s odd behavior.
I soon find out the reason for it though once Oliver leaves.
“I don’t trust him.”
I watch Caleb stare outside the window at the Quantico building. “He’s my friend who wanted to go for lunch with me. You know, something friends do.” My tone is sharp, not liking the way Caleb is trying to control my life.
“He was in your apartment. In your bedroom.” Caleb turns to face me, his face still, as if made from stone.
Oh, I’m going to kill Duke.
“He got lost. People do that.”
Caleb shakes his head. “He’s hiding something. Be very careful, Kendall. I can’t protect you all the time.”
My back stiffens at this. “Excuse me?” I stand up from the chair I had been sitting on. “I don’t need you to protect me, Caleb. I’m not some helpless damsel in distress!”
“I don’t want you to go with him! End of discussion.”
I feel the force of his stare on me, heavy and unyielding as if he expects me to nod my head submissively and give in to his demand. My jaw clenches and my hands flex on the stapler in front of me.
Caleb’s eye instantly moves to it.
I deliberately push myself to relax. “I am your personal assistant, your friend, your lover when you’re not being a complete asshole, but if you ever try to tell me what to do again, you and I are going to have a problem, Caleb.”
His face is rigid, and I continue, softly, trying to rein in my temper, “I am not going to fall at your feet in submission. I won’t bow my head to every command. I won’t let you pick and choose my friends. I won’t let you decide how to live my life. Don’t ever make the mistake of trying to control me, Caleb. I may love you, but I won’t be molded into what you want.”
I don’t slam the door behind me, trying to keep myself together.
I’ve barely reached my seat when I hear the sound of something crashing against the wall, mirroring my inside desire to do the same.
