by K. A Knight
I can’t bear to look at him as I speak, but he doesn’t let me pull away. He throws his mind open, letting me see whatever I want and his emotions as I talk. It feels much more intimate and I relax once I realise all I feel is...kindness, respect...and love.
“I didn’t know my father, he made me and fucked off like some of the other angels. My mum—” I shake my head. “She loved Gabriel, they all did, it was like a fucking cult, but he was a cold bastard. He didn’t love any of them, just what they had to offer...apart from one, but anyway…I was born, and when he realised I was a girl, my mum was horrified for letting him down. She—” I suck in a breath and he moves closer, holding me as tears I’ve never shed before roll down my face. “She killed herself, a final act for him, not caring what happened to her baby, to me.”
“Bella,” he whispers and turns my head, kissing away my tears.
“He took me away, not wanting me with his perfect warrior children. I was just an experiment for him. He hid me away in his horror house, which was a torture of its own. I could see the world out of the windows. See the children and the parents, how they loved them. Touched them, I ached for it, but I could never have it. His lab was downstairs. He wanted to know why I was born and what I was capable of. He had picked different types of women, some supes to see if it would make the children stronger, and he had a good feeling about my mum. So he wanted to see if using more mystics was the way to go, and for that he ran drills and tests every day all day. Pushing me, trying to break me…”
“He didn’t,” Ciar snaps, anger and hatred in his voice, and when I look in his head, I realise it’s for me.
“No, he didn’t. That pissed him off, to say the least. You saw what happened when I escaped once. Well, after that he decided he needed someone to watch me when he couldn’t. So he found another angel, one he thought he could trust. He told them nothing about the experiment, just that he needed the help. After all, he was a powerful angel, and they would have flocked to him to gain some of that power.”
“Raph,” Ciar concludes and I nod.
“It was the only good thing he did, and he didn’t even mean to. Raph came to care for me, raised me. Offered me a normal life and I loved him. He was like the father I never had. He started to realise something was wrong and would try and stay when Gabriel came back to protect me, but the angel wouldn’t let him. He made a plan to get me out of there, but before it could happen, Gabriel had one final test. He said I had outlived my usefulness. The test was to kill me, see what it took...only I didn’t die.” I push away the memories, it’s hard enough to share without reliving it. “I survived, barely. Raph found me and took me home. Raised me as his own after that…”
I blink away my tears and Ciar cups my face. “You miss him.”
“So much, he was the only person to ever love me, to ever show me a shred of kindness,” I admit.
“He loved you, I can feel it in your memories of him, never doubt that, Bella. He loved you so profoundly and you know that deep inside. I can see in your eyes that you think you don’t deserve love, well, screw that,” he snaps. “You deserve the world, you deserve so much love that you never doubt your worth again, because, Isabella, you are incredible. Fuck that angel and his test, fuck the mother who didn’t want you. I want you. I need you. I can’t live without you, Bella. We don’t need anyone else, just us. I will never let you be alone again, or think you aren’t loved,” he vows, and I move closer without thinking about it, but can he be serious? What if—
“That is your past, my love, and I am indebted to Raph for saving you, my mate. But you have the whole world now, so don’t let your past define you or stop you from living. Learn from it, grow, but don’t allow the scars to close the whole world...me, out.”
“Ciar,” I whisper, my gaze flicking between his eyes as he stares at me with so much love that it fills me up, fills all those empty, dark, and hurt places left by the people in my life who should have loved me. He fills it with his own love and heart, healing over my scars and holding them close as he puts me back together. The woman who should have never been born and the god.
We have our whole lives, even longer with being immortal, to figure everything else out between us, but I know I love this smirking vamp, even when he’s being an asshole and that’s all that matters.
Everyone had it wrong. I’m not an experiment, and I’m not an abomination, because to him I am perfect. It’s about time I started loving myself because I’m pretty fucking amazing.
“That you are, my love,” he whispers, kissing my shoulder and making me grin.
“Don’t you fucking forget it. I still have my shovel.” I laugh.
He chuckles, his breath blowing against my skin and leaving goosebumps. “Never, I love you, Bella.”
I lick my lips and turn my head, looking into those hopeful eyes. “You know what, vamp? I love you too, a lot.” He starts to grin and I narrow my eyes. “I will still kill you, though, if I have to,” I mutter.
He tuts at me. “So angry, does someone need more orgasms?”
“Yes, always.” I sniff, lifting my chin like a queen commanding her servant. “Better get to it, mate, earn your keep.”
He grins down at me. “Yes, my love, all you had to do was ask.” His voice is low and husky, sultry, and his fangs drop. Watching me, he licks the sharp points, and I groan at the sight, remembering them buried in my neck. How fucking good it felt, his mouth pulling on me, those fangs claiming me, and I shiver in need, my pussy wet as always around him.
“Ciar, now,” I demand, making him chuckle.
“My love, you have that expression you usually wear when you are about to stab me. How about we work through that anger with my face in your pussy?”
Fuck yes. That’s the best kind of anger management.
Ciar
We stay at the hotel for almost a week, just learning each other’s bodies. Our hands mapping each dip and curve until there is no inch we don’t know or I haven’t marked with my fangs or cock. We didn’t just fuck all the time, no, we shared secrets. Our dreams and hopes, even our pasts. She trusted me enough to stop wearing her gloves, and whenever she saw something she didn’t want to, she simply pulled back and blew out a breath and pushed it away. I wanted her to wear them again, hating that my own memories were hurting her, but she gave me that little smile that told me she knew something I didn’t, and simply told me they were a part of me, she had to learn to accept them because they are what made me who I am and brought me to her. I’m learning my little mate is a secret romantic, though she will stab me if I ever tell anyone that.
One morning she woke up with a start, her gaze far away, and I knew it was a vision. When she came to, she looked at me with urgent eyes and told me we had to get on the road, there was somewhere we had to be. She didn’t know why, but it was crucial that we be in a certain place at an exact time. So of course we left. I paid the old lady for all the damage and blood and she blushed when I explained why. She probably thought we were doing sacrifices or something in there, but I don’t care.
We head out and get on the road. I let her drive, watching her worriedly. She feels distant, like she is almost in the background and moving on autopilot. Like someone else is driving through her...maybe they are? It is rumoured the old mystics were vessels for the fates, is that what is happening now? Either way, I sit back and watch, protecting her.
Fates or not, if they hurt her in any way, I will kill them.
“You cannot, boy, we are not beings.” The voice comes from Bella’s throat, but it sounds older, raspier, and definitely not holding my mate’s usual snark.
“Where are you taking us?” I ask, careful not to offend the entity in case she takes it out on my mate. For now she needs her, but I have no doubt when she doesn’t or if she becomes too much of a problem, she will be done with her.
“I am afraid not, Ciar of blood stone. Your mate is important, more than you could ever imagine. Her birth was anticipated through the ages,
these wheels have been turning for centuries, waiting for this exact moment in time. Until you met your mate.” She looks at me then, eyes grey and filled with moving fog. I brace, but she doesn’t seem to have any issue driving and talking. “It is time the old gods rose, the world has need of you again, you and your mates. Find your family, nightwalker, or everything will be lost. You cannot do this alone, none of you can. It has been decreed.” She stops suddenly, sending me surging forward. “Find your brothers, help them find their mates, and you will understand why before long. Do not take too long, nightwalker. Heed my warning, for the end is coming and only your family and another may end this.”
“Another?” I repeat and she grins, a knowing one I have seen on Isabella from time to time. In fact it looks the same… “She’s yours,” I finish.
“She is. I inhabited the human to make sure she was born. I wish I could have stayed, but human bodies take their toll on me, however I am never far from you, my daughter.” She acts like Isabella can hear her and maybe she can. “Another, yes, she is needed. Only when you all work together and she completes her destiny will the world be safe. Do not worry about her, I have her under my watch, making sure everything goes as it must. Now, nightwalker. Go, protect my daughter, let her lead you and you might just find what you have been searching for all these years…”
She slumps, and I reach across and cup her face as her eyes blink open and she sucks in breath. “Whoa, that fucking sucked. Well, shit,” she mutters, and I laugh and kiss her. “What did that mean—”
“I don’t know, but we have to trust in her, something I hate as much as you. Come on, there must be a reason why she brought us here. Are you okay?” I inquire, and she nods a bit shakily, but then blows out a breath and a smile crosses her face.
“I have a mother, Ciar.”
“You do, my love, a very powerful one, so please don’t ever tell her when we fight, she might kill me,” I warn, but she laughs and kisses me before getting out of the car. I grumble and follow after her. My mate couldn’t have had human or even an angel mum, could she? No, it had to be an all controlling entity who can kill you without a thought.
Brilliant.
I get out and look around, a diner? She brought us to a roadside restaurant? Why? I meet Bella at the front of the car and take her hand as we lean back and wait. Surely there must be something or someone here she wants us to meet?
Find your family.
So I need to find my brothers and their mates? I’m overjoyed that they have them as well, I had hoped if I had one they would also. I wonder if it goes by age? If so, I will be second to last to get mine and Mishal would be next...unless it goes the other way?
My mind is whirling when I hear a gasp and a woman exclaims. I lift my head to see the brother in question standing before me. Mishal? I stare, he stares right back. It has been so long since we last saw each other, and as the two youngest we were always the closest. My heart skips a beat as he stares me down, those dark eyes locked on me in an unnerving fashion. He has grown into quite the dragon. I can feel his power, and next to him is a woman who’s holding his hand and looking at me.
“Mishal,” I whisper. “Nyre,” I greet, knowing he can hear me.
“Brother,” he murmurs, his eyes filling, and before I know it we are embracing before pulling away. “It has been too long! We were searching for you!” he explains, and pulls the girl around to meet me.
“This is Dabria, Ciar, she is my mate,” he whispers, his eyes wide and face covered in love and worship. I look at the little woman next to him and smile. I can feel she is one of mine and I grin in greeting.
“Hello, little vamp, let me know if he annoys you, okay? As the older brother, it’s my job to beat him up.”
“Like you could, you can’t even beat me,” Bella taunts behind me, and I grin as Mishal and Dabria look at her.
She moves from her spot against the car and drapes her arm around me, resting her chin on my shoulder. “I thought you said you were the good-looking brother?” she whispers loudly, making Dabria giggle, and I roll my eyes.
“Love, you know you can’t get enough of me,” I tease as Mishal laughs.
“I like her,” he booms, and she holds out her hand.
“I’m Isabella, remind me to tell you how I knocked your brother out with my shovel.”
Bella, I will spank you.
She grins wider but falters when Mishal pulls her into a bear hug. She isn’t used to it, after all.
It’s okay, Bella, we are a touchy family.
She settles into the hug then pulls away, clearing her throat, slightly caught off guard, but I feel her heart explode with love. She is part of a family. I hear the echoing thought.
You are, Bella, better get used to it. There are plenty more where he comes from and it looks like we have to hunt them down and get those idiots to fall in love and not mess it up.
“How strange that you are here.” Mishal grins.
“Not really, seems fate has a hand in it,” I reply, and he tilts his head, his eyes flashing with Nyre’s presence for a moment, so I explain and he nods.
“We feared something was wrong. We have been hunting you all down to try and break the blood oath we made all those years ago and to keep you all safe from whatever is happening in our world. I wanted to see if you all had mates and figure out why they are trying to capture us. Did one try to get you?” he questions.
“No.” I snort, like they could get me, please.
“Only because he was locked in a coffin,” Bella retorts, making Mishal laugh.
“Oh, like you did better getting captured? Wait until I tell the others,” I tease, and his eyes narrow as he snarls. Dabria lays a hand on his chest and he settles, looking down at her with mismatched eyes—Nyre is peeking out.
“Where do we find the others? I haven’t seen them in years.” Mishal sighs. “Seems we are on a time crunch and need to locate them fast.”
“If we find their last location, I might get a read on where they went or some other memories,” Bella offers, and I nod.
“Then let’s start with Calder, I saw him last,” I inform them and look at Bella. “He is a little older than me, can be a moody bastard, but he’s powerful and might be able to help us find the others.”
“Where will he be or where do we start?” she asks, with excitement for the hunt in her eyes. I pull her closer and kiss her cheek.
“We aren’t too far from the silver coast, we might find him there,” I muse, and Mishal nods, a grin coming to his face as he embraces me, his hand slapping my back.
“Let’s go get our brother and bring our family back together again.”
Let’s.
The sea crashes against the craggy rocks at the base of the cliff. Looking down into the stormy waters, I find my center, letting peace come over me, and the waves instantly quiet, the sea calming slightly as I do. The bodies of my attackers lie behind me where they had interrupted my nightly grounding with the sea. I don’t know who they are or what they wanted, but the ambushes have been coming more and more frequently. I did wonder at first how they found me, but now I am suspicious. Magic is at work here. But who, or what, wants me...and why?
Why now?
I look behind me and then toss their corpses over the cliff to the deep waters below, where they will be lost and forgotten forever. My home, the old castle, stands behind me, the gothic structure making me feel at ease—it was always my favourite era.
Even if I walked it alone, searching for something always out of reach.
The sea calls to me, tells me it can help, and it can. It’s where I feel the most at home, the most powerful, but I can often get lost in its waters, where time and space have no meaning. I did that for over five hundred years and only came back two years ago, then rejoined society.
Not that I felt I had joined it, mind you, I don’t understand this world anymore and I am tired. Tired of being alone, tired of the never-ending years that stretch on before me.
Cities come and go, empires fall and wars rage on. I walk through it all, wading through the bodies that littered the sea as it turned red with their hate and blood. I watched pirate ships and massive, impressive vessels that conquered the sea fade to nothing but transport and shipping. There are no explorers anymore. I loved them, and helped them all unless they were cruel.
I feel like I have seen everything this world has to offer.
Lightning crashes and I blow out a breath. As always, I carefully tread that line of my power, never wanting to unleash it fully. Sometimes it happens and I regret it instantly, watching my waves head inland and killing and harming the humans.
A noise drifts to me on the waves and wind and I perk up, searching the darkness that stretches out as far as I can see. It is coming from the water, is it a boat? A ship? Someone in need?
Unable to help myself, drawn by the noise, I dive into the sea below and let it carry me out into the ocean. I have to know what it is. The sharks and fish swim closer, called by my power, and I let them join me as I cut through the sea. The sounds grow louder and I realise what it is.
Singing.
Who is singing out here in the middle of the deep? Do they not fear the storm that is churning the water? They must feel it, the unnatural power around them, yet they sing louder...the sound winding through my chest and reminding me of home, of camaraderie and family.
It tugs at me, yanks me closer until I am swimming swiftly to get to that person, it’s my only thought. Nothing else matters but finding the source of that heart-breaking song.
When I break the surface of the ocean, the song louder and closer, I see it.
