Fuck. He didn’t leave a message, so she scrolled through the texts. They were all asking where she was. She was an hour later than she should’ve been, but of all the people in her life, William should understand how it worked. How many dinners, recitals, and games had he missed over the years because of work?
She debated texting but decided to call.
“It’s about time,” William answered. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m sorry. I had a patient code. I’m on my way to the train now.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
She sighed. “Did you feed the kids?”
“Yes.” He sounded irritated that she would even ask. “And I took Andrew to baseball practice. And Zoe to swim team. We’re all home now.”
Home. It was no longer his home, and Tess spitefully wanted to point that out but didn’t. “Thank you. Tell them to get ready for bed. I’ll be home soon.”
“Am I just supposed to sit here and wait?”
“What would you like me to do, William? I can’t control what happens at work any more than you can. If it’s that big a deal for you to stay there with our kids, call my mother. I’m sure she’ll rearrange her life to be there.”
“Like that’ll happen. Just hurry.” Then he disconnected.
Tess swiped her card and climbed the steps to the El platform. The weight of everything pulled at her. Her throat tightened, and tears clawed at the backs of her eyes. When the train roared up and the doors swished open, she stepped on and took a window seat. She laid her head against the cool glass and closed her eyes.
She’d had patients die before. It was part of the job. Normally, she handled it better than this. It was one of the reasons William had said she shouldn’t work. She needed to be compassionate without being emotional. Tess accepted she wasn’t wired that way.
But today, after watching little Emily die and her parents fall apart, her exhaustion and William being an ass was all too much. She wanted to curl into herself and cry. Doing so on the train didn’t seem like a good idea, so she thought about things that brought her happiness.
The look of surprise on Andrew’s face when his bat actually connected with the ball. Zoe’s high five when she dropped time in breaststroke. Billy sitting completely absorbed in a book. Miles’s teasing voice over the phone.
She sat straight and opened her eyes. Where the hell had that come from? Her happy thoughts were always of her kids.
The train neared her stop and she got up. The weight of her sadness made her move slowly, and the jerking motion of the car had her planting her feet. The doors swooshed open and she texted William that she’d be home soon.
When she got to her house, he was waiting outside. Damn. Maybe he was just in a hurry and was rushing to his car. Maybe he wouldn’t feel the need to pile on more crap.
“You need to come up with a better plan than this, Tess.”
“What am I supposed to do, William? It’s one shift a week that I need help with. Everything else in my life works around the kids. I don’t ask you for anything but this. One night a week to have a meal with your kids and take them to their activities.” She was too tired to fight. She had plenty of ammunition she could pull out, but she lacked the energy.
“I know. But you could’ve at least called or texted to let me know. Margaret’s been holding dinner for me.”
Tess closed her eyes. “I would’ve texted, but it all happened so fast. There was no way for me to predict how long anything would take.”
“I know. I’m just frustrated. I don’t mind having dinner with them or taking them to sports. But when you’re late like this, I don’t know what to do. They treat me like a total stranger in this house. They have routines and go about them like I don’t exist.”
More sadness assaulted Tess. “So talk to them, William. You’re their dad. They want you here, but they don’t know how to teach you their routines. I can’t do that for you.”
Before he could say anything else, she turned to the front door. Her emotions couldn’t take another hit. William wasn’t a bad man or a horrible father. He was just utterly clueless. And she was tired of him blaming her because of it.
She pushed through the front door, and her phone vibrated with a text. Miles.
Good time to talk?
Sorry. I won’t be good company tonight. Going to tuck the kids in.
Call if you want to talk.
She left it at that and went upstairs to hug her kids. Billy and Andrew were already in bed, Billy with a book and Andrew talking to his big brother, giving a play-by-play of baseball practice. Billy let him ramble as if he hadn’t been there, too.
“Good practice?” Tess asked as she came into the room.
“It was awesome. You should’ve seen me, Mom. I caught a fly ball. And I threw it to first base, and it made it all the way there.”
“Sounds like I missed a good time.”
“Yeah,” Billy said from the other side of the room. “Would’ve been nice to have a parent actually see it.”
Tess bit back her response.
Andrew sat up and glared at his brother. “Dad was there. He saw. I’ll try to do it again so you can see, Mom.”
“I’m sorry I missed it.”
“That’s okay.” Andrew threw his arms around her neck and squeezed.
“Good night. No more chatting. You need to get into your routine for school.” She tucked the blanket around him and went to Billy’s bed to kiss him on the head. “Only a half hour of reading. Then lights out.” Lowering to his ear, she whispered, “Try not to make nasty comments about your dad.”
Billy narrowed his eyes, looking so much like his father when he did so. “He only comes to practice once a week. He could pay attention. At least a little.”
“He tries.”
“No, he doesn’t.”
Instead of arguing, Tess kissed his head again. “Good night.”
“’Night, Mom.”
She went across the hall to Zoe’s room and knocked on the door. Zoe sat at her desk, tapping away on the computer. “Hey,” Tess called. “What’re you doing?”
“Just chatting.”
“Okay. Be in bed by ten.”
Zoe looked up from the screen. “You okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You didn’t ask forty questions about what we ate for dinner or if Dad got us everywhere on time or if the boys behaved.”
Tess smiled. “Rough night at work. Glad to be home.”
Zoe stared at her a minute. “Someone died.”
It wasn’t a question. Tess swallowed and nodded. “Ten o’clock,” she repeated, forcing the words past the lump that had returned to her throat.
She closed Zoe’s door and went through the house on her nightly ritual of gathering dirty clothes and emptying sports bags. Her phone buzzed again.
Ready to talk?
Hell no. Pushing towels into the washer, she debated answering. She didn’t have the energy for light-hearted conversation with Miles tonight.
After starting the machine, she leaned against it and stared at her phone. Then she remembered sitting on the train and thinking happy thoughts. Talking to Miles made her happy.
She needed some happy tonight.
Chapter Nine
Miles sat on his couch like he did every night, waiting to talk to Tess, but she wasn’t answering. At this point, he knew her nightly routine. He could ball park how long it would take for her to tuck the kids in based on their previous conversations. She should be done.
He scrolled through TV channels and waited. Finally, his phone rang. “Hello.”
“Hey.”
“I’m glad you called. How was your day?”
“Crappy.” She choked the word out.
Miles sat up straight and muted the TV. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Bad night at work.”
“What happened?”
“A patient died.”
Miles sat stunned. He didn’t know what words of comfort to
offer. She’d lost a kid. “I’m sorry. Tell me about it.”
“I can’t.” She sniffed, and he realized that she’d started to cry.
Before he thought about it, he grabbed his keys. “I’m coming over.”
“No,” she whispered. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.” Then he realized he didn’t know where she lived. “What’s your address?”
“You can’t come here. My kids.”
What was the big deal? He wasn’t suggesting getting naked in her living room. “I won’t come in. We’ll sit outside. It’s a nice night.”
Nothing but silence.
“Tess, you shouldn’t be alone. You’re upset. Let me be there for you.” He thought he’d have to do some more convincing, but she rattled off her address. “I’ll be there soon.”
He drove to her house as fast as he could. The entire drive, he questioned what he was doing. No matter how many times he went over it in his head, he couldn’t come up with an answer. All he knew for sure was that he hated the thought of Tess sitting alone and crying.
Hell, he couldn’t even imagine her crying. She always had her shit together, like nothing affected her.
He parked on the street in front of her house and texted to let her know he was there. She responded that she’d be out in a minute.
He left his car and waited on the front porch. It was a nice brick bungalow on a quiet residential street. Looking down the block, he could picture families barbecuing and kids playing in the grass. It was the kind of neighborhood you saw in movies. He’d never considered what it would be like to live in such a place, but now he let his mind wander.
The front door opened, and Tess came onto the porch. She stopped and looked at him as if at a loss for words.
Instead of trying to figure out what to say, he stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug.
“You didn’t have to come here,” she mumbled against his chest.
“Yeah, I did.” The truth of the statement surprised him.
Tess stood still and let him hold her for a minute before stepping away. “I told Zoe I was going for a walk.”
He wasn’t sure if she was hinting that he should go, or what.
She took his hand. “I try really hard not to lie to my kids, so let’s walk.”
“Okay.” They held hands as they descended the steps and headed down the block. “Want to tell me about it?”
Tess shook her head, her ponytail flopping around with the movement. They walked in silence for about half a block. Then she said, “A patient died tonight. A little girl who had heart surgery. Multiple operations. We thought she was improving. I normally handle a death better than this.”
“I think you’re handling it pretty well. You watched a little girl that you cared for die. I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
“It’s part of the job that always hits me. I’ve never been good at turning off my emotions. But tonight, I can’t get the image of her parents out of my head. They just crumbled. Their whole world. Gone. The way they held each other, like that was the only thing keeping them here.” She sucked in a breath on a hiccup and swallowed hard.
Miles stopped and held her again. This time she stayed in his arms until she calmed and the shuddering stopped. He rubbed a hand down her back, hoping to soothe her.
“Really. I’m not normally this emotional. It was Emily’s death and then her parents’ despair. Then to top it off, William.”
“William?” Miles asked.
She nodded against his chest. “My ex. I left the hospital and had a bunch of texts from him asking why I was late. I was already in a bad place, so I didn’t deal well with him.”
“Why did you have to?”
She moved away, wiping her face. “When I work my Wednesday shift, my mom comes over in the morning to get the kids off to camp or school. William picks them up, feeds them dinner, and takes them to extracurriculars. I’m usually home by the time practice is done. Tonight I wasn’t.”
Miles got pissed off on her behalf. He wanted to let William know what an asshole he was being. “You had a good reason.”
“I know. William does, too.” She sighed again and crossed her arms, staring at her feet.
Miles didn’t like the distance. “What is it?”
“I feel like a bitch for saying this, so if it comes out wrong, just… I don’t know.” She looked up at him. “William is always going to be in my life. Sometimes it’s hard dealing with him, and I’m sure he’d say the same about me. But we’re doing what we can. I don’t need you to rush in to my rescue.”
“I’m not trying to—”
Tess gave him a watery smile. “You are. Your whole body tensed when I talked about William.”
“He should be nicer to you.”
“Yeah, he should. And I should be nicer to him.” She glanced up at the night sky. “Maybe he should be a topic we don’t discuss.”
He stepped closer and unfolded her arms so he could take her hand again. “In a perfect world, that might be a possibility, but like you said, he’s always going to be part of your life. How about I promise to try to listen without getting pissed off?”
“Is that possible?”
“I said I could try. I don’t want you holding part of yourself back because you think I’m going to get mad.”
“What about you?”
“What about me? I don’t have an ex who’s an ongoing part of my life.”
They continued their walk, still holding hands. “Oh, no, I don’t think I want to hear about any of your exes. I was referring to not keeping things tucked away.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you trying to tell me you’re the jealous type?”
“In general, no, but I don’t think my ego is strong enough to hear about all the young, beautiful women in your life.”
Her comment, while seemingly flippant, made him pause again. When he stopped, she looked up at him. “There is no line of women in my life.”
Tess tilted her head and licked her lips before speaking. He wished he could ignore the movement or say it had no effect on him, but he would be lying.
“You have a history, as do I. My point is that our situations are different, and I’m not sure how to handle it. You tell me you don’t care if I talk about my ex, yet I know I don’t want to hear about yours. It’s petty and unfair.”
They walked in silence. Miles thought about everything she’d said. Seriously thought about it. With the women he’d been with in the past, he didn’t discuss relationships. His last serious relationship had been in college, and back then, no one discussed exes because it always led to jealousy.
Miles wasn’t jealous of her ex. The man had been stupid enough to let her go, so there was nothing to be jealous of. Past sexploits were fodder for conversations with friends, not the woman he was involved with. They turned the corner, and Miles saw Tess’s house down the block.
Now a little ping of jealousy pricked him. He wouldn’t be allowed in. Until that moment, he hadn’t even realized he wanted to. He wanted to be part of her whole life, not just the pieces she carved out. He pulled her to a stop again, close enough to see her house, but far enough that they still had privacy.
“I’m not jealous of your ex. I got a little pissed off when you told me he’d done something to upset you, but you can talk about him without worrying that I’ll start trouble for you. And I don’t want to tell you about any previous lovers. They don’t matter. All that matters right now is you and me.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him.
He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her until it seemed as if the sadness weighing her down dissipated, until she melted against him and was completely in the moment. The kiss was slow and gentle, and although he wanted to continue tasting her all night, he released her.
“Better?” he asked, stroking his fingers over her knuckles.
Her eyes fluttered open, and a slow smile crept onto her face. “I feel a whole lot better about a nu
mber of things.”
“Then I’m glad I came over.”
“Me, too.”
Standing in the moonlight with a soft summer breeze blowing over them, an unusual level of contentment washed over him. “Now that we’ve got all the heavy subjects settled, let’s move on to the fun stuff. What’re the chances of me sneaking into your bedroom tonight?”
Tess laughed, and the sound echoed down the street. Her shoulders shook, and more tears streaked down her cheeks. Her eyes were bright, and the sadness from earlier was buried. “I’m not a teenager anymore. What’s worse, I have one, so I won’t be setting that kind of precedent.”
He snapped his fingers. “So I’m a few years too late for sneaking in.”
“More than a few.”
“What about sneaking out?”
“What?”
He slid an arm around her shoulders as they walked toward her house. He pointed at the building. “As you can see, it’s still standing, and you’ve been gone for a half hour. How about a proper date? Let me take you out.”
She sighed but leaned into him.
“I warned you I would want more. Can you get a babysitter for one night this weekend?”
“It’s my work weekend.”
“Then tell me what night we can go out.”
“I’ll call my mom and see when she’s available.”
His mood skyrocketed. He’d been prepared for her to turn him down. Arguments to convince her had been on the tip of his tongue.
She stopped two doors away from the house. “I’d rather you didn’t walk me to the door. I don’t want the kids to accidentally see you. I want to talk to them first. Prep them for the idea of me dating.”
He pushed down the disappointment. Things would change. Soon.
“Okay.” Instead of leaning in to kiss her again, he slid his arm off her shoulder and gave her hand a quick squeeze. “Call me tomorrow.”
She nodded and walked toward her house, and he stood by his car to wait for her to open the door.
On the drive home, he considered how often he’d done the wrong thing when it came to women and relationships. He was far from perfect, but all of those mistakes had led him to tonight and knowing that Tess needed him.
That thought made him unusually happy.
One Night with a Millionaire (Daring Divorcees) Page 10
