“Are you ok?” Rave asked me a moment later.
I nodded, watching him work.
His deep green eyes warmed. He looked down and continued with my first tattoo. He was my first so far for many things. Images of our kiss flashed through my mind as I stared at his full lips. My mouth tingled, wanting him to kiss me again.
I cleared my throat and laid my head back when a thought crossed over me. What would Allan think of the tattoo? I shook my head. I didn’t care. I wasn’t getting it for him.
I looked around the room, needing to clear my head from thoughts of him. “How long have you been drawing?”
Rave seemed startled at the question and thought a moment. “As long as I can remember. Before I could write. How about you?”
“Oh, I only doodle.”
“Well you’re really good at doodling flowers.”
I smiled. “Thank you. I like to play the guitar though.”
He looked up at me. “I bet you’re good at that too.”
I chuckled. “Well, I haven’t played in years since…well…” My heart was heavy as I remembered the old guitar we had in our apartment years ago. I loved to play on it. I wasn’t very good but I was determined to try and eventually I learned a few songs. My mom had bought me music books that I could learn off of but I had more fun making up my own tunes or playing along to songs on the radio.
Allan had thrown it in the garbage when we moved in. He said it caused too much racket and ruined his sleep. That was just the start of my hatred for the man.
“Jesse.”
I turned back to Rave’s voice. “Sorry, what?”
“It’s done. Check it out,” Rave said, proudly.
I lifted my wrist. A beautiful yellow tulip with a green stem was etched perfectly on the inside of my wrist. The skin was red and swollen but I loved it. Tears of joy filled my eyes. “I love it. It’s...” my voice cracked. “perfect,” I whispered.
“I’m glad,” he grinned, making my heart flutter.
“Let’s see the handy work.” Ren came over and I showed him the tattoo.
“It’s beautiful,” I exclaimed.
"Great job like always, little brother,” he said, slapping a large hand on Rave’s shoulder.
Rave reached for my wrist again and grabbed some gauze and a tin. “Take this home with you and put some on every night and morning. It’ll help the healing process so it doesn’t get infected.”
I watched as he opened the tin, scooped out something that looked like petroleum jelly and rubbed a small amount on the tattoo. He wrapped it around my wrist, securing it with a piece of tape. “Does it feel ok?”
I nodded. “It’s fine. Doesn’t hurt at all.”
He smiled. “Good.”
“Well, I’m glad that we have another happy customer,” Ren beamed.
“We should probably go,” Rave stated.
I looked at the clock and saw that school was almost done for the day. I hopped off the chair and said goodbye to Ren.
"It was nice meeting you.”
“It was nice meeting you too,” I replied.
“Don’t be a stranger little brother,” Ren said, quickly embracing Rave in a tight hug.
I headed outside, leaving them to their brotherly moment, waiting just outside the door of the tattoo parlor. I turned back to the brothers. Ren had his hands on Rave’s shoulders, looking at him intently. Rave nodded several times. His eyes flicked to mine and I jumped, quickly looking away.
“I’ll call you soon, Ren,” my head snapped up as Rave approached me.
The rain started coming down in buckets, soaking us. It was like the heavens opened up, washing away our sorrows. I frowned, wishing it would wash away my stepfather.
We ran to the car and slid into it as the rain bucketed down around us.
“I’m glad you like your tattoo, Jesse.”
I turned my head to him, resting it against the seat back. “I love it, Rave. Thank you.”
He pulled out of the parking lot and we headed down the road back into town.
I watched as the window wipers cleared the water away. “This was for my mom,” I blurted.
I could feel Rave’s eyes boring into me, but I didn’t look at him. He didn’t say anything so I continued. “She’s in a coma. There was…there was an accident about a year ago and she’s…” tears burned my vision. Our hands reached out at the same time and I placed our intertwined fingers in my lap. I took a deep breath and continued. “The doctors said she would never be the same again but a part of me is hoping…praying that she’ll wake up.”
Rave’s thumb ran over the back of my hand, sending soothing caresses over my skin.
“My mom loved flowers. Before she got married to my…” bile rose in my throat, just thinking about him. “Stepfather, we had our own little apartment. You can’t really have a garden in an apartment but she tried. Tulips were her favorite. I remember strumming on my little guitar while she worked away in her makeshift garden.” I looked at the white bandage on my wrist and sighed.
My stomach rolled. I hadn’t talked about my mom with anyone except for Jake but even he didn’t know everything. Our town may have been small but it was big enough that not everyone knew everyone. We had no extended family. My mom kept to herself when we moved here when I was a kid so she didn’t have very many friends. It was just her and I until Allan came along.
I gave Rave my address and we sat in silence the rest of the way, as I watched the world fly by us.
We eventually pulled up to Allan’s house and my stomach churned, hoping he wasn't home yet.
“Thank you for allowing me to show you where I work.” Rave murmured.
I turned to him, placing my other hand over our joined ones. I ran my fingers over the back of his hand. His skin was darker than mine, little scars marring it. He had worker hands and the thought made me sad since he was so young.
“Thank you for getting me out for the day. Freak outs at school are not fun,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.
He frowned. “Jesse.”
I grabbed my bag and opened the door, releasing myself from his grasp. I noticed the rain had stopped some, so I didn’t have to rush into the house. Thank God.
“Thank you again for the tattoo, Rave.”
A small smile splayed on his lips. “Anytime.”
My heart skipped a beat. I looked down at his full lips and back up to his eyes. I wanted him to kiss me again.
He leaned towards me and cleared his throat. I watched as he tentatively brought his hand up to my cheek. It was warm and I leaned into it, my eyes fluttering closed. His hand moved to the back of my neck, his fingers curling in my hair. “I’m really glad I met you.”
My heart beat a steady drum in my chest and my eyes drifted open, slowly. “I’m really glad too.”
He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and then one on my nose. His lips were warm on my skin.
I grabbed onto his wrist and I could feel a wall shatter around me. I was letting him in and it scared me. What if he hurt me?
He moved to release me but I grabbed his shirt, stopping him. His eyes widened.
I pulled him towards me and lightly grazed my fingers up his chest to his jaw. I ran my thumb over his bottom lip, the scruff of his jaw scratching at my palm. "Rave," I whispered.
He took the hint and covered my mouth with his, not hesitating this time and licked his way in between my lips.
I gripped his shirt and rose to my knees, pushing my mouth against his. A little voice in the back of my head told me that we should not be making out outside of Allan's house but the feel of Rave's lips on mine made me not care.
Rave ran a hand down my back and cupped the back of my neck with the other, deepening the kiss. He released me and kissed the corner of my lips down to my jaw.
I curled my hand around his nape and ran my fingers through his silky hair.
His hot breath scorched my skin as he trailed kisses down my neck. "Jesse."
; I lightly tugged his hair, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.
He kissed my neck and released me completely, running a thumb over my lips. He brushed his mouth over mine lightly before kissing my nose. "I really love kissing you."
I smiled, my lips parting. "I love kissing you, Rave."
He placed a small peck on my lips, he sat up and shoved a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath and turned to me.
"That was my first kiss," I admitted softly. "Well earlier I mean."
His eyes darkened. "You don’t kiss like that was your first time."
My cheeks heated and I laughed. "I have a great teacher."
A smug smile formed on his face. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jesse."
I nodded and kissed him on the cheek, leaving the warmth of his car. I flung my bag over my shoulder and headed up the path. I turned my head and saw that Rave still sat in his car, waiting for me to enter the house. Probably to make sure I got in safely. If he only knew. The outside world was much safer than inside the house. Oh God, please take me away from here.
My lips tingled from Rave's mouth being on mine and I smiled to myself, sighing happily.
As I neared the steps, the front door flung open. Allan stood in the doorway, anger seething from his pores. “Who the hell dropped you off?”
I swallowed past the hard lump that formed in my throat. “A friend.”
“A friend? You have no friends,” he spat.
I quickly walked past him and headed up the stairs. The hard slam of the door being shut, made me jump but I continued heading up the stairs. I got halfway up the staircase, my legs were pulled out from under me. I landed hard on the steps and cried out as rough hands flipped me onto my back.
Allan’s cold hard stare bore into my eyes as he wrapped a large hand around my neck. “I don’t want you hanging out with any boys, slut. What would your mother think of that?” then he chuckled. “Oh yeah, she can’t think for herself now can she?”
Anger curled in my belly and I glared at him with as much malice as I could muster.
His fingers gripped my flesh, squeezing. "The school called today. Decided to skip class did you?"
My stomach dropped. "I wasn't feeling well."
Tearing at his skin with my nails, I tried to get him to release me but he was too strong.
He grunted. "You're lying. If I ever see you hanging out with that boy again, I’ll beat you so bad, he’ll want nothing to do with you.” Spittle flew from his mouth, landing on my face.
My lungs burned from the lack of air as Allan squeezed my throat.
“Do you understand me, brat?” he growled.
I nodded, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Good. Now go to your room. I don’t want to see your ugly assed face again for the rest of the night.” Before letting me go, his eyes blazed. Heated with malice and hatred as he looked down at me. Something flashed in his eyes. Anger? Rage? Whatever it was, he looked like he was having an inner argument with himself. He let go of my neck and punched me in the stomach.
It happened so fast, I didn’t see it coming. Black spots danced in my vision and I gasped, the automatic urge to vomit racking through my stomach. “Look what you make me do. Go. Get out of here,” he yelled.
I turned over and crawled up the stairs as quickly as I could, clutching my stomach. As I neared my room, bile threatened to escape my lips.
Allan’s voice boomed from the bottom of the steps. “It’s all of your fault. I blame you…for everything.”
Chapter 8
I ran up the stairs and barged into my room, slamming the door behind me, making sure to lock it. I flung my bag on the floor and threw myself onto my bed. Heavy sobs racked my shoulders as anger mixed with fear deep in my belly.
He couldn’t stop me from seeing Rave. I went to school with the guy. I finally made a friend who didn’t judge me or want something from me and it gets ripped out of my hands. Jake was my friend but after the hurtful things he said…I couldn’t look at him the same anymore.
I pulled off my glasses and threw them on my dresser, angrily wiping the tears from my face. Since I was in my room for the night, I got changed for bed and double checked the lock on my door. Not that it would stop Allan, but it gave me a sense of hope that I had at least a little bit of control in my life.
Six months, Jesse. Six months.
Six months and I would be eighteen and graduated. If things kept going the way they were, I might be gone sooner than that.
Guilt ate away at my soul as my thoughts went directly to my mother. They always did every time I thought of leaving the city. I needed to leave but I needed to be here for her more. Even though I couldn’t visit her…God…my breath hitched.
Allan never even told me where she was. I knew she was in the hospital but it was in a different city.
I pulled my shirt on over my head when my phone dinged, letting me know I had a text. I dug it out of my bag, instantly turning it on silent.
My eyes glanced at the doorway but all I heard was silence and breathed a sigh of relief.
I headed to my bed and crawled in between the warm cotton of the comforter and sheets, pressing the keypad of the small cell phone. The screen turned to life, lighting up around me. I had one new text from Jake.
Text me.
I rolled my eyes just as another text came in.
I no ur mad.
I huffed and typed up a quick message. Yes. I am. I pressed send and reached over the side of the bed for my bag.
I turned on my lamp on the end table beside me and went back to searching through my bag.
I pulled out my headphones, the notebook Rave had scribbled his name and number in, catching my eye. I grabbed the book out of the bag and sat up, opening it, flipping through them until I found Rave’s number.
I typed up a quick text. Hi. It’s Jesse.
My thumb hovered over the send key. I bit my lip and pressed the button. He obviously wanted me to text him or else he wouldn’t have given me his phone number.
Jake’s text messages kept coming through but I ignored them. I wasn’t in the mood for his apologies. He shouldn’t have said what he did in the first place.
A text notification appeared on the small screen. My heart leapt in my chest.
Hi there.
I smiled at Rave’s response. It was short and sweet.
How r u? I pressed send, my heart beating in anticipation.
Good. U? He was quick with his answer.
Several different replies came to my head. Did I want to be honest or lie? What if I gave away too much? What did I want to tell him? My phone rang, startling me. Rave was calling me. He was calling me? My heart sped up, my blood pounding in my ears. I pressed the talk button. “Hello?”
“Hello, Jesse,” His deep smooth voice, way too mature for a teenager, washed over me.
“Hi. Why…” I was going to ask him why he called but thought better of it since it sounded kind of rude.
“Why did I call you?”
“Well I was going to ask that but then I thought it would be rude. Not that I didn’t want you to call me…I just…” I was rambling and it made my cheeks heat more.
He chuckled lightly. “I called you to ask if you’re alright.”
I frowned. “How did you know something was wrong?”
There was a beat before he replied. “I had a feeling.”
“Well…ok…I’m fine though. Thank you for asking.” How did he know? No one knew what happened with Allan. Jake knew he was an asshole but nothing else. No one knew that he beat me. My heart sped up, quickening my breathing.
“Jesse?”
“I…oh God…” My head spun out of control. I couldn’t breathe. My lungs contracted and burned at the lack of air. My throat felt raw as I gasped in breath after breath.
“Jesse.”
“Rave…I…can’t…breathe…” Cold sweat coated my forehead and ran down my back.
My fingers gripped the phone as white spots d
anced in my vision.
“Breathe with me…deep even breaths, Jesse.” His voice was calm and collected but I couldn’t concentrate.
I pulled myself to the edge of the bed and leaned over. “Rave…please…” I didn’t know what I was asking him. For help maybe? But what could he do? Like me, he was only a teenager. But something pulled me to him. I trusted him. Needed him to be there for me and be patient with me.
“Jesse,” Rave’s voice came out stern, snapping me from my inner turmoil.
“Rave…I…” Hot tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t keep going through this. This pain, this heartache. God, I missed my mom. I had to see her.
“Breath with me, Jesse. Breathe damn it.”
A sob escaped my lips. "I'm sorry."
He sighed. "Don't apologize. Are you alright?"
I took another deep breath, calming my racing heart. "Yeah, I think so."
"Good. I want to see you."
My skin heated, remembering our intense kiss from earlier. "I want to see you too but..."
"But what?"
"Rave, I..." I fiddled with the metal rings on my notebook, not really knowing what I wanted to tell him or even ask him.
“What the hell’s going on in there?” a bang sounded on my door, making me jump.
“Who’s that?” Rave asked.
“Why did you lock this door? Let me in, brat.”
Oh God, I hope Rave couldn’t hear what he was saying.
“Jesse, what’s going on?” Rave asked, his voice angry.
“I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow,” I hung up the phone, ignoring his protests.
“Who are you talking to? It better not be that boy,” Allan yelled, banging on the door.
Maybe if I ignored him, he would go away but the banging continued. It was so loud it sounded like he was trying to break the door down.
I grabbed my earphones and plugged them into my phone, searching through my playlist for the loudest and fastest song I had. After finding one, I pressed play, turned the volume up all the way and put my ear buds in my ears. And I screamed. I screamed as Allan finally broke the door open. I screamed as he came charging at me.
As he approached me, the look on his face was priceless. Like he thought I was losing my mind. Maybe I was. I didn’t know. I continued to scream until my throat burned and felt raw.
In the Heart of Forever (A Heart Story) Page 5
