Somehow his dramatic statement didn’t seem so impressive second time around.
Blart looked back at the peak they had just walked from.
‘Maybe that one is higher after all.’
Beo and Princess Lois looked unsure. Uther, who had got the mirror half out of his coat pocket, grumpily shoved it back in again.
‘This is the top of the world,’ insisted Capablanca.
‘How do you know?’ said Blart.
‘Because I can see that I built a cairn here to show it,’ said the wizard, indicating seven stones gathered together in a loose heap.
‘That’s just a few stones,’ said Blart.
‘That’s what a cairn is,’ snapped back Capablanca. ‘A pile of stones that marks the top of a mountain.’
‘I thought cairns were supposed to be bigger than that,’ said Princess Lois doubtfully.
‘Perhaps he got tired when he was building it and so that’s why it’s quite small,’ suggested Beo charitably. ‘After all, he is quite old.’
Capablanca was getting very irritated by now.
‘It’s nothing to do with me being old and tired,’ he snapped. ‘It’s to do with the fact that it’s been snowing. I probably built a cairn of a perfectly respectable size but most of it has been covered up. If we dig down into the snow I’m sure we will unearth the rest of the cairn, and by digging further still we will bring ourselves face to face with Zoltab.’
Chapter 49
And so the questors dug. It was cold work digging with their bare hands, but with four of them working as hard as they could and Blart working nearly as hard as he could, they soon made progress. In a short time they had unearthed a bigger cairn.
‘I told you this was the top,’ said Capablanca.
‘I told you it was the top,’ maintained Blart. ‘If it hadn’t been for me we’d have been digging on that peak over there.’
‘I see gold,’ said the Princess.
‘They are the gold bars of Zoltab’s prison,’ said Capablanca.
Excited, the questors dug faster.
‘They’re flashing,’ said Blart.
‘Flashing gold bars signal our triumph,’ said the wizard exultantly. ‘If the spell had been broken and Zoltab released then they would no longer be flashing. We have got here in time. Zoltab is still imprisoned. The world will remain safe and war can be prevented.’
Something moved beneath the gold bars. Blart felt his legs go very weak, for he recognised the powerful shaven head of Zoltab the Dark Lord. The great head nodded slightly. It appeared that Zoltab was asleep.
Beo continued to shift huge armfuls of snow, revealing more of Zoltab’s prison. The Dark Lord’s dungeon was nothing but a barren stone cell with a rough wooden bed at one end.
‘Now I will be able to prove to my enemies that I was no friend of Zoltab,’ said Capablanca. ‘Now I will make them give me back my magical power and build me a new chair in the Cavernous Library of Ping. And this time it will be even comfier.’
Blart heard the wizard’s words but was mesmerised by the power and size of Zoltab’s slumbering figure. He remembered his cold sneer and his pitiless stare. He remembered –
Zoltab’s head shot back and he looked straight up. His black unblinking eyes bored into Blart.
‘So you’re back, are you, boy?’
Even behind enchanted bars Zoltab terrified Blart. He opened his mouth but no words came out.
‘Letting Zoltab see you again is as good as signing your own death warrant,’ menaced the Dark Lord.
‘Don’t listen to him, Blart,’ said Capablanca with a slight tremor in his voice. ‘He is powerless behind the magic bars.’
‘Is that you, wizard?’ said Zoltab. ‘You think your puny spell will hold Zoltab? I will make you swallow those words before I kill you.’
‘If anybody is going to be doing killing it will be us,’ threatened Beo.
‘Oh, and your fat friend has come too,’ said Zoltab. ‘I have had time to think of many tortures for you. You will be a thinner and sadder man before you die.’
‘We’re not scared of you,’ said Princess Lois, sounding quite scared.
‘How touching,’ said Zoltab. ‘I recognise the voice of my betrothed. So good of you to visit, my dear.’
‘I’m not your betrothed,’ said Princess Lois defiantly.
A flicker of anger rippled across Zoltab’s massive forehead.
‘We will be married one day, Princess,’ said the Dark Lord. ‘I promise you we will.’
Chilled by Zoltab’s threats, the questors were silent. Zoltab sensed their weakness.
‘It is not easy to face me, is it?’ he taunted them. ‘For when you look at the true power of Zoltab you know in your hearts that no cheap magician’s trick can hold him for long. You know that he will escape and when he does his thirst for revenge will be unquenchable.’
It was as though Zoltab had read their minds. The questors could neither look at him nor each other.
Finally, Capablanca found the strength to speak.
‘We have nothing to fear,’ he claimed. ‘The bars that surround him are unbreakable.’
Blart turned away. As he did so his eyes were caught by a bright flash. Uther was hurriedly pushing a little mirror back into his coat.
‘That hurt my eyes,’ Blart said to him. ‘Why do you –’
‘Be quiet,’ said Uther angrily. ‘Can’t a man look his best, even in times of great peril?’
‘What’s this?’ said Beo.
‘He was blinding me with his mirror,’ complained Blart.
‘The boy is a fool,’ said Uther. ‘I don’t have a mirror.’
‘He was using it to flash the sun in my eyes,’ insisted Blart.
‘Don’t be stupid, boy,’ said Uther.
‘I saw him get a mirror out when we were on the last peak,’ said Princess Lois.
‘I wanted to check if there was something in my teeth,’ said Uther desperately. ‘That stew last night was very stringy.’
‘You lie, merchant,’ said Beo. ‘That stew was succulent and well-seasoned.’
There was a hunted guilty look in Uther’s eyes.
‘And I thought you said you didn’t have a mirror,’ said the Princess.
‘I … I …’ Uther was lost for an explanation.
‘Signalling,’ Beo accused Uther. ‘You were signalling.’
‘Nonsense,’ said Uther.
But the warrior hadn’t the patience for arguments. He drew his great sword.
‘Who were you signalling to?’ he demanded.
‘What’s going on?’ asked Capablanca.
‘We have a traitor in our midst,’ said Beo. ‘And if he does not tell us who he was signalling to then I will cleave him into pieces.’
‘He lies, wizard,’ said Uther, shaking his head vigorously. Too vigorously. There was a clunk as the small mirror fell from his coat.
Beo raised his huge sword.
‘I should kill you now.’
‘No,’ said Capablanca. ‘We need answers not corpses. Tell us who you were signalling to and we will spare your life.’
But there was no need for Uther to answer. The answer rose all around them.
Surrounding the peaks of Mount Xag were numerous smaller mountains. And from behind those smaller mountains little black dots were appearing from all directions. North, east, south, west. Each way Blart looked there were black dots.
And as he looked they got bigger.
The black dots were heading their way.
‘Who are they?’ demanded Beowulf. ‘Tell me now or I will kill you.’
‘It makes no difference now,’ answered Uther. ‘Know that they are minions of Zoltab.’
‘You are a minion of Zoltab?’ said Capablanca.
‘I’m nobody’s minion,’ said Uther defiantly. ‘I’m a merchant, as I told you all along.’
‘But why are you signalling to them?’ demanded the Princess.
‘I am concluding a business
transaction,’ said Uther.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I was hired to find Zoltab,’ said Uther, ‘and bring his minions to him. I began by finding Blart in Milkdale, and now you have all led me to him. In a few minutes I will have fulfilled my part of the bargain.’
‘You were in league with Zoltab’s minions all along?’ asked Blart. ‘Even when we were playing Muggins in The Happy Hangman?’
Uther nodded.
Blart was dumbfounded by this treachery.
‘That’s why you kept saying we didn’t need to worry about Zoltab’s minions,’ said Princess Lois.
Uther nodded again.
‘How –’ began Capablanca, but he was interrupted by a cry from the Princess.
The black dots were flying horses, each of them ridden by two figures clad in the black armour of Zoltab. And from the prison came the rumbling roar of the Dark Lord.
‘I will wreak a terrible vengeance on all who have stood against me,’ he bellowed.
Closer and closer came the flying horses, their tails streaming out behind them, their black-clad warriors brandishing swords.
‘They are getting nearer,’ said Blart anxiously. ‘Shouldn’t we be leaving?’
He was right. The horses with their fearsome riders flew ever closer to Mount Xag.
‘They have made a mistake,’ said Capablanca, ‘for they cannot land on this small space. The horses wouldn’t have time to stop and they would fall over the cliffs and plummet to their deaths.’
The flying army had risen over the peaks of the nearest mountain. Within moments they would be above the questors.
‘What did they give you for your treachery?’ demanded Beo, turning to Uther.
‘They promised to make me the wealthiest man in the world when Zoltab is freed,’ Uther replied.
‘But the spell that secures Zoltab’s cage is irreversible,’ said Capablanca. ‘Or, at least it…it…was.’
Uther coughed.
‘Exactly,’ he told the wizard. ‘Zoltab’s Ministers have been researching diligently since you spoke so unguardedly at your banquet, and they believe they have found a way to undo it. It may take them some time but they are confident of success.’
Capablanca looked close to despair.
Closer came the flying horses. There were at least fifty of them – a terrifying sight in the clear blue sky.
‘Are you sure that we are safe?’ asked Blart.
‘Of course,’ snapped Capablanca. ‘They can fly above our heads but they cannot land.’
It was at this moment that the first rope was lowered from a flying horse. A minion from each horse was preparing to slide down the rope and jump on to the mountain top.
‘If only we had a bow,’ cried Beo, ‘we could shoot them down.’
‘What are we going to do?’ cried Princess Lois.
‘I will fight to the death,’ said Beo.
‘You always want to fight to the death,’ said Blart. ‘Why don’t we run for our lives instead?’
‘Blart’s right,’ said Capablanca. ‘Fifty minions of Zoltab are too many for us. They would kill us and rescue Zoltab. We must flee.’
‘But then they’ll rescue Zoltab anyway,’ said Beo.
‘I must have time to think,’ said Capablanca. ‘Retreat!’
The questors ran from the peak of Mount Xag. Uther, waiting for his payment, watched them go. As they fled, the black-armoured minions landed on the summit and prepared to release their master.
Chapter 50
‘Have we been defeated?’ asked Blart.
‘Never,’ growled Beowulf.
‘Oh,’ said Blart, sounding disappointed. ‘I just thought if we’d been defeated then we could go down the mountain and get warm again.’
They had floundered through the snow and down the south face of Mount Xag, twice nearly stumbling over sheer cliffs, until they had found a shallow ice cave. They sat in it, shivering and waiting for Zoltab’s minions to find them. But Zoltab’s minions did not come. Instead they secured the area surrounding Zoltab’s prison. Any other task could wait.
‘I must think,’ said Capablanca when they realised they were no longer in imminent danger. And so saying the wizard flung his cowl over his head and sank deep into thought.
‘We should never have trusted a merchant,’ fumed Beo.
‘I didn’t trust him,’ said Blart.
‘Why didn’t you say anything, weasel-features?’ asked the Princess.
‘I don’t trust any of you,’ explained Blart. ‘You all seem to get me into trouble all the time.’
The wizard, distracted by their chatter, shook in anger beneath his coat. He knew now that his bottom would never again sit on a personalised chair in the Cavernous Library of Ping.
‘What’s that?’ asked Blart, pointing to a piece of paper that Capablanca’s temper had shaken from his pocket.
The wizard picked up the paper.
‘The prophecy,’ he said. ‘I had forgotten all about it.’
‘What did it say?’ asked Blart.
The wizard read the prophecy again:
‘There will come a time when friends are enemies and enemies are friends
When Zoltab, twice imprisoned, may once more be freed
To destroy the world or be defeated
By the hand of the husband of his betrothed.’
‘What does it mean?’ asked Beo.
Capablanca, who could not bear to admit he didn’t understand something, didn’t answer.
‘People think we’re Zoltab’s friends when really we’re his enemies,’ said the Princess.
‘That is true,’ agreed the wizard.
‘And Uther was our enemy but pretended to be our friend,’ said Blart.
‘I understood that bit,’ insisted Capablanca irritably. ‘So the first line has come to pass. And high up at the summit they are doubtless trying to make the second line come true by freeing Zoltab.’
‘But he can be defeated,’ said Beo. ‘It says so.’
‘But that is the part that makes no sense,’ said Capablanca. ‘It refers to the husband of Zoltab’s betrothed. If someone is betrothed to someone then they don’t have a husband. This could be the prophecy’s gnomic way of saying that nobody can stop Zoltab apart from himself.’
‘Why couldn’t it just say that?’ said Blart.
‘I despair of your ever understanding prophecies,’ said Capablanca. ‘All prophecies are open to multiple interpretation.’
‘Why?’ demanded Blart.
‘Because they are,’ said Capablanca firmly.
‘If it can mean anything then can I say what it means?’ asked Blart.
‘It cannot mean anything,’ corrected Capablanca angrily. ‘It is open to scholarly interpretation. It is not open to pig boys.’
‘I’m going to have a go anyway,’ said Blart. ‘Princess Lois is Zoltab’s betrothed, isn’t she?’
‘I’m not,’ said Princess Lois.
‘Zoltab may be under the impression you are,’ said Capablanca reluctantly. ‘At the end of our last quest he did not relinquish his claim on you to be his wife.’
‘Well, then,’ said Blart. ‘She’s his betrothed. Whoever marries her is the husband of Zoltab’s betrothed and can defeat him.’
‘That’s prepost …’ began Capablanca. And then he stopped. He read the prophecy once more. He read it twice more.
‘I think I’ve solved it,’ announced the wizard.
‘Tell us what it means,’ said Beo.
‘Whoever marries the Princess can defeat Zoltab.’
Blart thought for a moment.
‘That’s what I –’ he protested.
But the wizard cut him off.
‘This is no time to argue,’ he told Blart sternly. ‘The future of the world is at stake. Every second that passes, trying to claim undeserved credit, brings Zoltab’s minions a step nearer to releasing their master and unleashing chaos on the world. We must decide.’
‘Decid
e what?’ asked Blart.
‘Which of you is to marry Princess Lois.’
Chapter 51
‘What did you just say?’
Princess Lois’s freckles had never looked so menacing.
‘You have to get married to either Beo or Blart if we are to succeed in our quest,’ said Capablanca. ‘Make up your mind.’
For a moment the Princess was speechless. But only for a moment.
‘Listen,’ she told the wizard. ‘I came on this quest to get away from my suitors. I came because I didn’t want to get married. And if you think that after travelling vast distances to avoid getting married I’m going to marry one of these two just because you say so, then you are wrong. I am a woman and I will not be told by some old man when to marry and whom to marry.’
‘I’m not telling you whom to marry,’ pointed out Capablanca desperately. ‘I’m giving you a choice.’
‘A choice?’ Princess Lois glared at the wizard. ‘You call a fat warrior or a stupid pig boy a choice?’
‘Princess,’ said the wizard. ‘I understand your feelings but if you don’t agree then Illyria will be destroyed in war and Zoltab will rise and the world will be shrouded in gloom and despair.’
‘That’s not very good wooing,’ interjected Beo.
‘What?’ snapped Capablanca.
‘When you are wooing a maiden,’ said Beo, ‘it is customary to dwell on her beauty rather than descriptions of the end of the world.’
‘We have no time for that,’ said the wizard. ‘There will be no beauty and no truth if she doesn’t agree to marry one of you. I suggest Beo. After all he has great strength. Perhaps once he is married to you that strength will be multiplied enough for him to defeat Zoltab’s minions.’
Beo coughed.
‘I’m afraid I cannot marry the Princess.’
‘Do not worry about your difference in rank,’ said the wizard.
‘It is not that,’ Beo assured him. ‘I would be honoured to marry the Princess but I cannot. For I am married already.’
‘Who to?’
‘I cannot remember,’ said Beo.
‘What?’ said Capablanca. ‘Surely a man as chivalric as you can remember his own wife.’
The Boy Who Was Wanted Dead Or Alive - Or Both Page 21
