by Bailey West
“Z,” I ran my hand down my face. “I’m scared too. I’ve never chased a woman. Ever! I had to ask Paxton how to send flowers. I’d never done that before. I’m terrified of you. I’m terrified of being around the only woman that can make me forget all about being protected because I had to be inside of you. I’m afraid of the way I feel when I am around BJ. How much I want to teach him and protect him. I’m scared, but I’m more afraid of being without both of you. I decided that I would rather be afraid and happy with you than be unafraid and miserable without you.”
“Zeke, I…”
“What time does BJ have to picked up?”
“He’s going over one of his classmate’s house for a play date. I will have to pick him up later.”
“Come and take a ride with me.”
I had a feeling that she was trying to distance herself from me. I get it. I thought about doing the exact same thing. I wanted to lose her number. I wanted to forget about her and BJ. These feelings scare me but I know I can’t go back to how I was before I met them. So, it’s balls out for me. I’m all in.
I reached for her hand. She put her hand in mine. I opened the passenger side of my truck and helped her in. I got in and pulled out of the garage. I held her hand while I navigated out of the city. I turned on some music while we rode to our destination.
“Who is this we are listening to?”
“Mali Music.”
“Is that a group?”
“No, it’s one person. He’s cold. He used to be a Gospel singer, but he left the traditional gospel genre to go mainstream. A lot of people were mad that he made that decision, but I understand. I know what it feels like to have all these ideas but nowhere to put them because you are locked into this one genre or box. This is my favorite cut on the album it’s called No Fun Alone.”
I turned the volume up and let Mali serenade us until we arrived at our destination.
I rode down a secluded road that opened to a large field. I parked the car and got out. I opened her door and helped her out.
“Where are we?”
“This is my land. I purchased it when I first moved to Houston. It’s fifteen acres. There is a stream that runs along the property line and separates my property from my neighbor’s property. My neighbor is Roman. He purchased the other fifteen acres on the other side of the stream. Paxton has about twenty acres on the other side of Roman.
When I purchased this land, I got it because I figured if I held on to it, at some point someone would want to buy it from me and build on it. I would sell it for probably double what I purchased it for.”
“It’s so beautiful and serene out here. I can hear the water running in the stream.”
I went to my truck and pulled out a blanket. I took her hand and led to an area where I spread the blanket on the ground. I helped her down onto the blanket and sat next to her.
“After I met you and BJ, I started thinking maybe I will keep this land for Braeden. Maybe he will want to build a house on it for his family. Maybe it will be a graduation present, and he can sell it and invest the money.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, this is the way my thoughts have gone since I have gotten to know him. I said that I want to help you with him and I mean it. If I can be with you too, that would be great, but I understand your wall. I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you, but I won’t hurt you on purpose. I’m loyal, Z. If I’m in, then I’m in. I just need to know what you are going to do. We are both falling. We might as well fall together.”
“Zeke, I’m scared. After Bahir left, I went through a lot. I almost dropped out of grad school and moved back to Saint Louis. I had to readjust my life, and I promised myself I wouldn’t let that happen to me again, but I have been miserable without you.”
I leaned in and kissed her.
“I’ve been miserable without you too. Can we figure this out together?”
She nodded, wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. I kissed her while I massaged her breast through her shirt. I pulled her shirt over her head. I kissed her lightly then created a trail of kisses from her lips to her cheek then to her neck.
I pulled down her left bra strap then kissed her shoulder where her strap rested. I kissed her along her collarbone until I reached her right bra strap. I pulled it down and kissed her right shoulder the same way I kissed the left one. I reached behind her and unlatched her bra. As soon as her breasts were exposed, I sucked one into my mouth while I continued to massage the other one with my hand.
“Did you miss me Z?”
“Yes,” she replied softly. “Show me why I should be with you.”
She placed her soft hands on my ribs under my shirt and slowly moved them up my sides to remove my shirt.
“I’m not only going to show you why you should be with me but I’m going to spoil you, so no man can come after me.”
I went to her breast again kissing and sucking as I worked on taking off her pants. I pushed her onto her back and took a second to look at her body. She lifted her hips so I could remove her black lace panties.
I studied the contrast of her midnight colored areolas against her coffee colored breast. I watched the rise and fall of her chest. Her almost flat stomach with just the right number of stretch marks to prove her womanhood. The little strip of hair on her mound that seemed to be directing me to the area I planned on tasting first. My eyes went back to her. She was watching me. I love it when she watches me. As if reading my mind, she spread her legs giving me access to her center. I could see the moisture seeping from her as I licked her. I was rewarded with an “Oh my goodness!” as I continued to devour her. She is a lot more vocal than when we are at her house. I guess because she knows BJ is in the house. I’m going to make sure we have more alone time. I love hearing her scream out.
I used my finger to penetrate her while I continued to feast on her. In no time her legs were shaking, and she was calling my name. I love when she says my name.
I stood to remove my pants and put on a condom.
“Don’t,” she looked from the condom to me. “I want to feel you, all of you. Spoil me, Zeke.”
I damn near lost my balance getting back down on the blanket and entering her. I couldn’t move fast enough. As soon as I was snuggly inside of her, I couldn’t think of anything else except making sure she was satisfied.
I stroked slowly while looking at her biting down on her bottom lip. I moved in to kiss her.
“You feel so good, Z. I’m going to do my best to be the man you need. I’m going to mess up, but I won’t stop trying. I don’t want anyone else but you.”
“Be you. I only need you, Zeke. I’m giving you my heart. Take care of it.”
“I will, I promise.”
I felt her tighten up around me. I felt my ascension building up also.
I was preparing to pull out.
“Don’t Zeke. Don’t stop,” She screamed as she tightened around me.
I didn’t stop. We ascended together.
I laid beside her trying to regulate my breathing. I pulled her in close to me.
“Zeke,”
“Yeah?”
“You know we are outside butt-ass naked, right? We can’t just lay here!”
“Oh damn! I forgot where we were!”
We busted out laughing. I got up and helped her to her feet. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her.
“No more ignoring or disappearing, right? Since we are both falling, we might as well fall together.”
“Okay,” she smiled. “Let’s figure it out together.”
We found our clothes, got dressed and headed back into the city.
We pulled up to her car in the garage.
“Z, I would like to meet your son.”
She looked at me confused.
“Zeke, you already know my son.”
“I know. I mean I want to meet your son as the man you are dating or whatever you call it. All I know is that I don’t want to see anyone else an
d I hope you feel the same way.”
“So, you want me to be your girlfriend?”
“If that means that I won’t have to share you with anyone then that’s exactly what I want you to be.”
She smiled and leaned over and kissed me.
“Then yes, I would like it to introduce you to my son. Would you like to meet him tonight?”
“Tonight would be nice.”
Zora
Zeke and I were laying in his bed after putting BJ down in “his room” at Zeke’s house. Since our declaration, a couple weeks ago that we were dating, Zeke, BJ and I have fallen into a routine of spending our evenings together. BJ has claimed a room at Zeke’s house as his and has brought over a couple of toys to leave here. Zeke has added to BJ’s toy collection.
I tried hard to create some distance between Ezekiel and me. It was torture ignoring his calls and texts. I got scared. I mean for real scared. I had flashbacks to Bahir, and I just couldn’t go down that road again. I always hear people say that you can’t make the next man pay for the sins of the previous man. That’s true but then how do you protect yourself? How do you make sure that you don’t become someone else’s prey? I don’t have the answer because as soon as I saw Zeke resting on his truck in the parking garage, I knew that I couldn’t ignore him. I knew that I wanted him. Then he told me about the plans that he’d already begun to make for BJ’s future. It was over for me. I thought that I was falling, but after that conversation, I was down. No more falling. I’d reached my destination. That destination was in love with Ezekiel. It’s early, and I don’t want to scare him away but the feelings I have are true and genuine.
I eavesdropped on the conversation Zeke had with BJ when he told him that we were dating. I thought that Zeke wanted us to have the conversation with BJ, but he said that there were some things that men needed to discuss one on one. So, I stood outside BJ’s door and listened.
“Hey man, there is something that I need to talk to you about. Can you sit down with me for a second?”
I couldn’t see, but I figure BJ sat in the chair next to Zeke.
“Braeden, you know how we talk about always being honest and telling the truth?”
“Yes, you said we should always tell the truth because it’s hard to remember a story.”
“Right, when you get a little older you are going to start to like girls.”
“I like girls. They are my friends! Candy and Ariel and Heather. That’s their names.”
“Cool, I like your mom. I like your mom in a way that men like women.”
“Oh, are you her boyfriend?”
I covered my mouth to stifle my giggle.
“Yeah…um…B, how do you know about boyfriends?”
“My friend Candy has a boyfriend in class his name is Randy. They sit by each other on the playground, and he gives her his extra Go-Gurt that his mom packs for lunch. Do you give my mommy extra Go-Gurts?”
“Candy and Randy, huh?” Zeke chuckled.
“Um hum,” BJ confirmed.
“Yes, I like to share things with your mommy. If I had an extra Go-Gurt, I would share it with her. I wanted to tell you because I wanted to make sure you were okay with me being your mommy’s boyfriend.”
“I’m okay with it, Zeke.”
I tiptoed away so I wouldn’t get caught.
“I think something is going on with Blue and Nette. She seemed a little weird at dinner tonight. I wanted to ask her, but I figured she would tell me later.”
“What do you think could be going on? They went to New York and spent some time with our parents. I thought it went well. My mother is over the moon about them being together.”
“I don’t know. I just know her. Something is not right. I need to call her.”
I heard my phone vibrating on my nightstand.
“I must have talked her up. Hey, Sissy! What wrong?”
She told me about the big blow up she and Roman had. Apparently some random is claiming that Roman is her baby’s daddy. Nette is not upset about the baby, she is mad because Roman didn’t tell her about it. She had to ask him. I understood why she was upset, but I also understood why Roman hadn’t told her yet.
“Sissy, he was just trying to protect you.”
I hope it didn’t sound like I was taking his side because I wasn’t. Apparently, it did sound like I was taking his side because she let me have it.
“Protect me from what Zora?”
“I don’t know. He had his reasons.”
I didn’t know, but I thought this was the best answer to give. I didn’t want to see them break-up over a misunderstanding.
“He had his reasons… humph…Is that what you do too, Zora…protect me?”
“Huh?”
“Why haven’t you told me that you have been kicking it with Ezekiel?”
“Sissy, I…”
She cut me off.
“If it were me that was having sleepovers at my house with a man and I didn’t tell you, all hell would break loose. I would never hear the end of it.”
She was right. I hadn’t told her yet. I was scared to tell her, but I don’t know why. Maybe because what Zeke and I have is nothing like what she and Roman have. Maybe because I put up such a stink about Zeke being a church boy, but here I am trying to build a relationship with him. I don’t know why I hadn’t told her yet, but I did plan on telling her.
“Sissy, I…”
She cut me off again.
“What is it about me that makes everyone think that I am weak, that I need protection? What is it? Please let me know so that I can change. I’m sick of everyone making decisions for me claiming they are doing things in my best interest. I’ve lived through some pretty horrible situations. I’ve experienced hurt, disappointment, frustrations and guess what? I survived. So, you know what? Until you are ready to treat me like I am a grown ass woman and not some little frail, fragile girl that needs everyone’s protection, then you can lose my number also.”
“Sissy!”
“Bye Zora.”
“Sissy!”
I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it. She hung up on me. She has never hung up on me.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nette hung up on me.”
“Lil Sis hung up on you?”
“Yes…I mean she is really upset.”
I dialed her number. It went straight to voicemail. I tried again…same thing.
“Maybe I should go over and talk to her.”
I got up from the bed looking for something to throw on. Zeke got out of the bed. Took my hand and sat me down next to him on the bed.
“What is she upset about?”
He started rubbing circles on my back with his hand. I love his hands.
“Something that went down between her and Roman but she is mad at me because I haven’t told her about us; me and you. She figured it out and was waiting for me to talk to her about it.”
“She and Roman have been busy. I haven’t talked to my brothers about it yet either. I plan on it. You did plan on it too, right? Or did you just want me to stay your dirty little secret?”
I giggled even though I didn’t want to.
“I did tell her that I liked you. I told her that the day you took BJ with you and met me at her house.”
“Oh, that day we fell asleep over there?”
“Yeah, but I hadn’t told her how we’ve progressed since then.”
“She doesn’t know I be all up in those guts?”
“Shut up Zeke.” I laughed, “I planned on telling her about us dating not necessarily about you being all up in my guts.” We laughed. “I still want you to be dirty just not secretly.”
He laughed again and pulled me closer to him.
“Give Lil Sis some space. If she is mad enough to hang up on you, then it’s serious. She will need you in a couple of days but let her cool off. Leave her a message and tell her whatever you need to say then let her breathe. Hopefully she and Blue will figure it out.�
��
“Alright.”
I called her number again after the beep I said, “Hey Sissy. I’m sorry that I offended you by taking Roman’s side. That was not my intention. I love you both, but I will always have your back no matter what. As far as Zeke and I are concerned. Yes, we are dating. I like him a lot. I would love to talk to you about it. Can you call me when you are ready to talk? I love you, Sissy.”
Ezekiel
I called Paxton the next morning and told him to meet me at Blue’s house so we could workout. I had been working out almost every morning with Zora either at my house or at the gym in her office building. She’s been making us these protein shakes in the morning that I thoroughly enjoy.
I pulled up to Blue’s house and used my key to get in. I went to the gym and started my workout. Paxton came in shortly after I did. We talked a little before Blue came in and joined us. We worked out silently. Once we were all finished, we sat down and talked.
Roman told us his side of the story. There is a chick claiming he has a six-year-old son. I know Tasha from around the way. She has slept with several dudes that I know. No telling who her son’s father is. I’m positive the baby is not Roman’s, but he’s getting a DNA test to be sure. Paxton gave him some good advice that I’m sure Blue will follow.
Then the conversation turned to me.
“So, Zeke, what up with you and Zora?”
I finished my protein drink that Zora prepared.
“Man look, I’m not gone even front. I’m sprung for real.”
“Not the eternal bachelor!” Paxton laughed.
“She got you, huh?” Blue added.
“Yep, she has me following her around like a little puppy,” I chuckled. “Nose wide open.”
We all laughed.
“Don’t you leave soon for the tour with Lyrica? How is that going to work out?” Blue asked. “How long will you be gone? Isn’t it six months?”
“Yes, it’s six months. I thought about only doing the first half of the tour and letting someone else do the second half. I don’t want to be away from Zora and BJ that long.”
