by Leta Blake
• • •
Leo was awake.
Aiden told him when they passed in the hall. And even if Aiden was trying to get on Grant’s good side in the hopes of a payoff in some completely delusional future, Grant had to admit the guy was a good nurse. He’d taken very fine care of Leo.
When Grant knocked on Leo’s door, Leo himself called out for him to enter. He thrilled to hear his voice again. Leo looked exhausted, but he was alive, breathing, and smiling at Grant like he was the best thing he’d seen all day. Possibly in his life.
Grant felt shot through with warmth at the sight of him.
“Hey,” Grant said, and pulled up a chair to sit close to Leo’s bed. “How do you feel?”
“Alive,” Leo muttered through chapped lips. It was the first time in almost a week that Leo wasn’t half-asleep on painkillers. Leo smiled lazily up at Grant and said, “Gotta reward me for that soon.”
“Yeah, well.” Grant gazed at Leo warmly. “I can’t wait to reward you for that feat.”
Leo’s eyes widened in mock surprise. “Really?”
“I can’t wait to give you everything you want for the rest of your life in reward for that.” Grant pushed Leo’s hair off his forehead. “I gotta say,” Grant said, keeping his voice low. “This, uh, being in love with you thing? Made me pretty worthless.”
Leo’s eyebrows lifted and his eyes were soft. “How’s that?”
Grant swallowed, brushed his hand over Leo’s hair, and shrugged again. “I panicked. I’m a doctor. I keep my cool in moments of disaster. I do my job. But seeing you—” Grant shook his head and pressed his lips together. “I couldn’t…I couldn’t even think about anything. Or anyone.”
“But you were good with Lucky,” Leo said, taking Grant’s hand and kissing it. “Dad said she only wanted you.”
“Yeah.” Grant nodded. “I could stay focused for her. I don’t know what else I would have done.” Grant gazed down at Leo intently, studying his face, the curve of his lips and cheeks. “Don’t ever do this again. Do you hear me? I won’t lose you.”
Leo laughed softly and said, “I’m not making any promises, but I’ll do my best.”
“You better. I’ve never been so scared.”
Leo blinked slowly, his eyes so tender and full of emotion. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just get well. And stay well. Forever.”
Leo laughed. “Okay, I’ll just find a sparkly vampire to bite me and become immortal then.”
Grant nodded and said, “That’s fine with me. Whatever it takes.”
Leo snorted and motioned for some water. Grant handed it to him and watched as Leo sipped out of the straw. Grant took a deep, steadying breath, and put the cup back on the tray.
“Leo, I never thought I’d ever ask anyone this question. It’s not part of the plan.”
Leo tilted his head and said, “Plan?”
“I never wanted a family, but I never wanted a lot of things. And now there’s you, and this situation—and the kid. She needs stability. She loves me. I love her. And—”
“Wait, you love Lucky?” Leo asked.
Grant blinked and his mouth opened and closed a few times. “Yes. I mean, yes…is that a problem? Of course I love her. Why do you think I spend time with her? It’s sure as hell not her chess game.”
“No, of course not,” Leo said, smiling. “You love her?”
“Yes.”
“Grant, that makes me so happy.”
“Well, good. And you love me. And we love each other. It’s how it works? Right?” Grant didn’t think he’d ever said the word ‘love’ so many times in his life. “That’s what’s supposed to make a family. And I know I’m babbling, and I might be freaking you out, but this—I’m serious and I’ve thought about it. It’s legal to do it now, and it’s…I…just…marry me.”
Leo’s smile was like summer and pie and cookies and casseroles and ice cream and everything that Grant loved best in the world.
“You’re such a jerk,” Leo said.
Grant swallowed. That was not the response he was expecting. “Well, yeah. But—but you knew that,” he stuttered. “And what did I do now?”
“What did you do? I was going to ask you. I had a whole romantic thing planned, you jerk. You stole my thunder!”
“Oh,” Grant said, his heart pounding and his stomach twisting. “So…what does this mean? Is that no? Or yes? Or…?”
“It’s yes, jerk. It’s a big, fat, hell yes,” Leo said, lifting up enough to grab Grant’s face in both hands and pull him down for a kiss. “Yes,” he said again. “I love you.”
“Love you,” Grant murmured, kissing Leo back, wrapping his arms around Leo’s body to pull him close. He practically crawled into the bed, hovering over Leo, careful not to put pressure on Leo’s body or side. It was probably his knee that hit the call nurse button.
The buzzer by the bed announced, “This is Janet at the nurse’s station. You called us?”
Leo started laughing, and Grant cursed.
“Oh, sorry, Dr. Anderson,” Janet said. “I’ll just cancel it out.”
Grant kissed Leo again and then crawled out of the bed carefully, saying, “You need to get well and get home.”
“Yeah,” Leo agreed. “I’ve got to get my hands on you. I can’t wait much longer. Or Aiden is gonna catch you in a weak moment.”
Grant kissed Leo again and muttered, “I’d have to be unconscious or dead.”
“Well, that’s a weak moment,” Leo said earnestly.
Grant’s face went soft with affection, and he teased, “I’m starting to think he’s wanting a threesome. You in?”
Leo snorted softly and shook his head no. Then he grinned. “So…you wanna marry me?”
Grant grunted his agreement and ran his hands over Leo’s hair again, and said, “Yep, Leo. You did something to me. I drank the Kool-Aid.”
“You like Kool-Aid,” Leo said, his eyes glowing with happiness.
“Mind-altering red dyes,” Grant said softly, leaning closer for a kiss. “Smashed bugs. Coal by-product.”
“You love me,” Leo said against Grant’s lips, and there was a touch of wonder in his voice like he still didn’t entirely believe it.
“Yeah,” Grant admitted, kissing Leo again.
“I must be pretty delicious Kool-Aid,” Leo said softly.
Grant smirked. “And now that you have a new kidney, you can finally taste mine.”
Leo’s eyes went wide with amusement and lust. “Grant.”
Grant nodded and cupped Leo’s cheek. “Hurry up and get well. I’ll let you drink all you could want.”
Leo pulled Grant down by his collar and kissed him hard. Grant laughed against his lips, and they both groaned when Janet beeped in again to check on the sudden rise in Leo’s heart rate.
Chapter Twenty
Four Weeks Later
The first night home from the hospital, Leo sat at the kitchen table at the farm supervising Lucky’s homework and watching as Grant and Chuck carried the last of his luggage from the hospital out to the truck.
“Well,” Chuck said, clapping Grant on the shoulder. “That’s the last of it. Your mom will want you all to come to dinner tomorrow night. Hannah’s arranged to have a family pass for the evening.”
Grant noticed Lucky shrink a little in her chair and duck her head so that she wouldn’t have to meet Chuck’s eye.
“Your mom’s looking forward to having everyone together,” Chuck said. “What about you, Grant? Can you make it?”
“I’ve got rounds. And—I’m not sure Leo will be up to a night out yet,” Grant said, widening his eyes at Leo and then inclining his head toward Lucky a little. “You’ve been overdoing it since you got home,” he added. “You just had major surgery and recovered from a near fatal CNS infection. Stop being a hero and rest.
Leo glanced at Lucky, and then flashed his confusion to Grant before saying, “I’m sure we can be there, Dad. I can rest all day while Lucky’
s at school, and I’m sure I’ll be able to—”
Lucky slammed her notebook shut and ran up the stairs. A few seconds later the sound of her door banging closed reached them all.
Leo and Chuck looked after her in confusion. Grant sighed, turned to the cookie jar, and said, “Okay then. Cookie time.”
Grant pulled out two cookies and opened the refrigerator for the milk. He poured a glass and leaned against the counter, taking a bite, and waited. He wasn’t happy that Lucky was upset, but it had been bound to all go down sooner or later, and cookies would make it more palatable. For him anyway.
“Grant?” Leo asked. “Do you know what’s going on with Lucky?”
“Doctor-Patient confidentiality,” Grant cited.
Leo narrowed his eyes and leaned forward on the kitchen table staring Grant down. “You’re not her doctor.”
“I put antibiotic ointment and a Band-Aid on her knee just yesterday,” Grant said, waving his glass of milk in Leo’s direction, and then taking a stalling swallow.
“Grant,” Leo said. “What’s going on with our kid?”
Grant almost choked on the cookie, and he stared at Leo, coughing into his elbow, until Chuck pounded him on the back, and his milk sloshed on the floor.
“What?” Leo asked.
Grant said, “I didn’t realize she was mine.”
Leo’s eyes softened, and a small smile curved his lips. He leaned back in his chair and said, “Yeah. Of course she is.”
“Well,” Chuck said, shaking Grant’s shoulder. “I’m concerned about Lucky, but this seems like it’s verging on being personal and private, so I’ll head on home. Leo, call me later. Let me know if there’s anything I can do for Lucky.” Chuck squeezed Grant’s shoulder again and said, “Grant, son. See you later.”
Grant stuffed more cookie into his mouth before he said something to Chuck that would make Leo frown and possibly derail this very interesting conversation about their kid.
The kitchen door shut, and Leo stood up, walking slowly toward Grant.
He put the cookie and milk down on the counter and ran a hand through his hair. Slow blinks and a sweet smile made Grant’s heart thump, and a quiver of lust shot through him. Leo was hot when he was in love. Grant swallowed, thanking all that was awesome that Leo was in love with him.
“We’re getting married,” Leo said, taking Grant’s left hand, threading his fingers through, and then pressing his still too-thin body against Grant’s. “You love me. You love Lucky. You wanted to be a family.”
When Leo put it like that, it kind of made Grant feel like he should run as fast as possible to another state. Another country. Except for the fact that Leo was right there, and he was smiling, and Grant was physically incapable of denying anything about that smile. Leo could look at him that way and Grant would cheerfully break every rule or law just to make Leo look at him that way again.
“So, she’s your kid, too, now, Grant.” Leo said. “When we’re married, we can make it legal. Curtis’s already agreed to give up custody. And so—”
“Wait, what? Make it legal?”
“I told you,” Leo said. “I was going to ask you. I had plans. Romantic, hot, sexy plans. And you ruined them. Remember?”
Grant stared at Leo.
“Part of those plans included making sure that if you said yes, if you wanted to make a family out of the three of us, then it could be official. Lucky deserves that. Don’t you think?”
Of course Lucky deserved that. But Grant had never really considered being her father. Not like that. He’d thought he’d just stay Dr. Grant, a kind of uncle-ish figure. A friend who was married to her father.
Leo continued, “So, I had it out with Curtis before the surgery. It was part of what we agreed on. In exchange, I agreed that she could be with him for two weeks every year. Only if she wants to go. I told him that I wouldn’t force her. And I think, after Scotland, he might not even be all that eager to try again. Though he’ll always be part of her life. I know he’ll send Christmas presents, and birthday cards, and probably drop in to see her when we’d really rather he didn’t. You know, nothing new.”
Grant wasn’t sure what to make of the sensations racing through his body. He was hot, he was cold, and he was starting to sweat.
“Grant?” Leo asked, clearly concerned now. His eyes dimmed and his smile faltered considerably. “What are you thinking?”
Grant rubbed at his face and backed away, looking away from Leo, but not really seeing anything. “I never said I wanted to be her father.”
Leo’s quick indrawn breath made Grant look up. Leo looked like he’d been slapped. Grant rubbed his face again, shook his head, and tried to figure out a different take. “Leo—”
“Oh,” Leo said, and he sounded hurt, too. “I thought…well, I guess you know what I thought. I feel like such an idiot right now.”
“No,” Grant started, but Leo pulled away, moving toward the doorway heading upstairs. “That didn’t—”
“Fine,” Leo said. “I can’t believe I actually thought—I just… Wow. I didn’t expect this.” Leo shook his head, his mouth open in sadness. “I thought you loved her.”
“I do!”
“I can’t talk about this right now,” Leo said, his eyes bright with tears. “I need to go see my daughter and find out what’s wrong with her because I guess it’s my responsibility, since she’s mine.”
“Can we cut the drama?” Grant said.
“No,” Leo said. “We can’t.” And he stomped up the stairs.
Grant threw up his hands and groaned. He tossed the cookie in the garbage and he poured the milk down the drain.
Dammit, Leo didn’t get it. He didn’t understand, and he hadn’t stuck around long enough for Grant to explain. Not that Grant knew how to explain. It was all wrapped up in expectations.
Leo expected that Grant would become Lucky’s father legally, and Grant had expected to be…what? What had he expected? He hadn’t expected anything, really.
He thought that he and Leo would get married to make it legal between them, and they’d move in together. It looked like that mutual living area was going to be the farm because Lucky wanted to stay, and Leo thought it was best not to uproot her again.
Grant had assumed they’d live here and things would be…the way they are now. He’d be Dr. Grant, and she’d be Lucky, and Leo would be his hot dish of Leo goodness, and Grant would be that strange thing known as happy.
So…this other thing? This thing that Leo had proposed? What did that really mean? If Grant became Lucky’s father, what changed in that scenario? In so many ways, it would be better. He’d have legal rights to Lucky if she were sick or hurt, and if something happened to Leo…
Grant squeezed his eyes closed at the thought.
He’d be Lucky’s parent. No one could take her from him. His stomach flipped, and his chest felt tight. He didn’t know if what he felt was fear, excitement, happiness, or some mixture of them all, because he wasn’t sure he could do it. He wasn’t sure he could be Lucky’s father. At the same time, he didn’t trust anyone else to even try. As far as he was concerned, Lucky and Leo were his now, and he might fuck up, but there was no way he was going to walk away from them.
Grant headed to the stairs, walked up slowly, and stopped at Lucky’s room. She was sitting on the bed with her knees drawn up and her face buried in them, as Leo rubbed her back and spoke to her softly.
“I know you’re upset, honey, but you and I aren’t going anywhere. And Grant’s not going anywhere.” Leo met Grant’s eye. “Right, Grant?”
Lucky’s head came up and Grant forced a smile. “Just to the hospital for work and back.”
Lucky shrugged. “I don’t care about that.”
“Then what, baby?” Leo was confused. “Just tell me what you’re upset about.”
Lucky shook her head, and Grant stepped into the room. He sat down on the other side of the bed. “We’ll play a game,” Grant said. “It’s called Quid Pro Q
uo.”
Leo looked at him with a wary expression but said nothing.
“What?” Lucky asked.
“Just…listen. I told you I never had a mom,” Grant said, and Lucky looked nervously at Leo and back at Grant again, obviously afraid Grant was going to tell Leo how she felt about Hannah. “Well, I never had a dad, either.”
Leo shifted on the bed, turning toward Grant with a yielding, curious expression on his face. Grant knew that Leo wanted to know more about Grant’s family, about his childhood, and that he was usually disappointed when Grant shot those conversations down or snarked his way out of them.
“You didn’t?” Lucky asked.
“No, I had an uncle.”
“You had an uncle for a dad, too?” Lucky asked brightly. “We have that in common.”
Grant looked down at the patchwork quilt on Lucky’s bed, and picked at the loose edge of one of the patches. “Not exactly,” Grant said. “My uncle was a jerk.”
Leo’s head came up and he focused on Grant, understanding starting to show in his eyes.
“Yeah, that kind of jerk,” Grant said to Leo.
“What kind?” Lucky asked.
“He called me names, pushed me around. Once when I didn’t pass a test with the kind of grade he expected from me, he belted me five times for each wrong answer.” Grant cleared his throat. “He said, ‘This is how you pay me back for keeping you alive all these years.’”
“Oh, my God, Grant,” Leo whispered.
Lucky took his hand, kissed the palm, and said, “I hate him.”
Grant put his arm around her and pulled her close. “Sometimes I hated him, too.”
“Why was he so mean to you?” Lucky asked. “Were you mean back?”
Grant smiled at that and caught Leo’s eye. He swallowed and didn’t tell Lucky all of the things he’d done to the old man, all of the ways he’d tried to make him pay, the tricks he’d played on him, the pranks, and how he’d humiliated his uncle by walking out of his house after announcing his full ride to medical school and never returning again.
Instead he said, “This is a crappy bedtime story.”
“Grant, please,” Leo’s voice was so sad, so warm, and full of how much he didn’t want that to have been Grant’s childhood.
