Apparently babies had better instincts than adults.
It was loud and warm and crowded in the room. The table was set with beautiful china and silverware. Priceless, probably. But Jane filled the heavy crystal goblets with the bottle of cheap pinot grigio she’d dug out of a cabinet in her kitchen. A puppy—apparently one from the Queen’s litters of corgis—kept humping Rob’s leg. He ignored him, talking to me at length about “that shite eating tosser” of a striker on his favorite football team who’d scored on his own goal last week while the dog went to town.
I’d never seen anything like it. I didn’t have cousins. Owen was my only sibling. A family gathering like this was as foreign to me as summering in the Hamptons. As being on Mars. I could only watch, transfixed, as they all went about enjoying themselves. Enjoying each other.
So this is what family feels like.
“You okay?” Jane murmured, refilling my glass with more wine. True to form, she’d skipped the wine, and had a whiskey sour in one hand, the baby in her other arm. “I know we’re a lot.”
“I’m fine,” I replied. “A little in awe, actually.”
She grinned. The kind that touched her eyes. If I’d thought she was lit up before, she was positively glowing now.
Josie was slumped against Jane’s shoulder, snoozing soundly.
She’d be a really good mom.
“In awe of what?” Jane asked.
I looked around the table. “Of how well you guys all get along. Also that there are so many of you.”
“Speaking of,” Aly said, turning a knowing look on Rob. “Should we tell them?”
Emily slapped her hands on the table. “I knew it!”
“Knew what?” I asked.
Rob’s eyes glistened as he smiled so hard his face turned red.
“We’re adding another Thorne to the brood,” he said. “January.”
The room went fucking nuts. Everyone leapt to their feet. Josie started crying. So did Rob. Then they were all hugging again, asking Aly how she felt and why the hell hadn’t she told them sooner? I offered Rob my hand and he took it, giving it a hard, eager shake.
“Congrats,” I said.
“Thanks, mate,” he replied, wiping his eyes. “Funny, but I didn’t know I even wanted kids until—well, until Aly and I really started dating. It was like all of a sudden I could see my future, you know? It’s her. And whoever else we decide to bring along. Family, mate. It’s the hardest thing and the best thing, too, isn’t it?”
There was that weird pain in my chest again. Was it guilt now? That envy I’d felt yesterday in Jimmy’s office, watching those two guys walk down the street?
I’d thought about having a family. But in a vague way. It was a one day thing. Like one day I’ll be free. One day I’ll pay off Jimmy. I’d been too busy surviving to really think about those things in concrete terms.
But now that I was here, having Sunday lunch around the Thorne family table, I was thinking about it. Mostly about how something like this was exactly what mom had wanted for Owen and I. Not the china or the palace or anything like that. She’d just wanted us to find a place where we belonged. Where we were welcomed.
I wanted to belong to a family like this. It made me ache to think about how awesome it must be. Hard. But awesome. Like having built in best friends. A safe place to go to when you needed help.
Owen had me. But I—I didn’t have anyone to go to, really.
I’d missed having this without even knowing it had existed until now. Like the last piece of a puzzle finally falling into place.
“So Jane,” Emily said, setting down her fork. “How’s the prep going for your fundraiser on Friday? Anything we can do to help?”
My heart tripped to a stop. It was like a slap in the face, this reminder.
I was here to do a job. Not to hang out and have fun.
“Fundraiser?” I offered, careful to keep my tone neutral.
A proud little blush was working its way across Jane’s cheeks. “I do a little thing every year at my apartment. We raise money for the grants we make to small businesses across the U.K.”
“Little thing.” Rob rolled his eyes. “Stop being so modest, Janie! My baby sister here is hosting over three hundred donors at her flat this weekend. Some of them are quite a big deal. Last year she raised—what, ten million pounds? We’re very proud of her.”
“That’s incredible,” I said, still looking at Jane.
Make the world a better place. Jane had that down pat. For a moment, I indulged in the fantasy that I was hosting this thing with her. That I was doing good things with her.
I had a good buzz on from the wine. A full belly. Jane’s knee touched mine underneath the table. Watching Kit cheat at Monopoly—seeing the way Emily and Aly and Jane bent their heads together, giggling like teenagers—making Aly smile when I asked for seconds, and then thirds, of her macaroni and cheese—now, more than ever, I wanted this lie to be real.
I wanted to lose at Monopoly so Kit could win. Then I wanted to take Jane back to her place and fuck her deep and slow. Afterward we’d take a nap, a long one, curled up in her bed all afternoon like the rest of the world didn’t exist. We’d get take out. Eat it on the couch while watching Game of Thrones. (Had Jane seen it yet? I had a feeling that yes, she had, because of the dragons and the gratuitous nudity—she’d be into that stuff.)
Just thinking about it made me feel like the biggest sap. I was a con for Christ’s sake. Cons did not Netflix and chill. They fucked around, then got the fuck out.
Only I couldn’t. At this point, I think it was safe to say there was not an ounce of Veronica in Jane. I could stop waiting for Jane to show her true colors, because she already had. Authenticity, open-mindedness, passion, family—those were her colors. I just hadn’t recognized it because I’d never seen them before in someone like her.
I didn’t know what I’d do next. But I did know I was in big fucking trouble.
Jane
“Wanker,” Rob said, throwing a handful of blue plastic houses at Kit.
Kit caught them and threw them right back. “You’re just jealous I got Park Place, aren’t you?”
“Only because you cheated!”
“So did you! Look at all those five hundred dollar bills you’ve got. You stole from the bank, I know it.”
Aly, our resident banker, looked up from her phone. “What?”
“And you skipped going to jail. So we’re even.”
Emily pursed her lips. “I don’t think it works like that, guys.”
“Bloody hell, I don’t even know why I try,” Rob said, tugging a hand through his hair as he fell back into his chair. “Charlie here’s the only one playing with honor. Haven’t cheated once, have you, mate?”
Charlie grinned, a small, almost shy thing, and shrugged, hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Probably why I’m losing.”
“Definitely why you’re losing. You’re doing it on purpose, aren’t you?” I said, gesturing to my brothers. “Letting these idiots win.”
His eyes met mine. They were grinning, too. “Maybe.”
Because being great in bed wasn’t enough. Now Charlie had to go and be great with my family, too. He’d been a charmer all afternoon. Patient. Considerate. Funny.
Then again, Michael had started out polite, too. Charlie could just be putting on a show to impress me.
Although—maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see—but Charlie didn’t seem all that focused on impressing anyone. He was focused instead on my family. Studying us. Like he’d never seen anything quite like it. There was almost this longing in the way he watched. A sadness.
My throat tightened, wondering what that sadness was about. Was he thinking about his mum? About his family?
I didn’t want to be curious about Charlie. It went against my blanket policy of keeping men at arm’s length. But he kept catching me off guard.
How much I wanted to know more about him—that caught me off guard.
I
sipped my whiskey. Waited for the tightness to go away.
Kit, who was seated beside Charlie, gave him a clap on the shoulder. “I like you already.”
“Hey,” Rob said, furrowing his brow. “I liked him first.”
Kit picked up a green house and slung it at Rob. “And I had North Carolina Avenue first, you twat.”
Josie chose that moment to spit out her pacifier, which Pepper the puppy picked up from the floor. She began to enthusiastically chew on it. Josie screamed. I winced. Girl had a set of lungs on her.
But Charlie calmly ducked down and untangled the pacifier from Pepper’s jaws. He held it up, looking at Emily.
It was his calmness, maybe, how casually he made the gesture, like thoughtfulness was second nature to him—but something about seeing him pick that pacifier up made my throat tighten up even more.
He’d be a really great dad.
I gulped my whiskey.
“Do you need me to clean it, or…?”
Emily waved him away. “It’s fine. I’m going to choose to believe the rumor that dogs having cleaner mouths than humans is true. You can just give it to her.”
Charlie grinned.
“That rumor is one hundred percent true,” he said, giving Josie the pacifier. She looked at him for a beat before taking it. “The internet told me.”
Now Emily was grinning, too. “Then it must be true.”
“Sorry I’m late.”
Jack’s voice broke whatever spell Charlie was casting over the lot of us. I looked up to see my brother stride into the dining room, his hair still wet from the shower.
My stomach clenched. He would not be happy to see Charlie here.
“What’d I miss?” he said, bending down to kiss Aly’s cheek. She reached up and took the hand he put on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze.
Rob shot him a glare. “Where the hell have you been? You haven’t picked up any of my calls.”
“A bit of business with my security team. Nothing to worry about.” Jack straightened. “Aly, what have you got cooking? It smells divine.”
“Sunday roast. Brussels sprouts, too. Help yourself. It’s in the kitchen.”
“Lovely. And you.” Jack looked at me, narrowing his eyes. “What’s that smile about? Don’t tell me you’re stoned. If you are, why didn’t you share—?”
His gaze caught on Charlie. His expression flattened.
Kit was the responsible older brother. Rob was the loose cannon. And Jack—he was the protective one in our family. He was only younger than his twin Rob by twelve minutes, but being the proverbial baby in the family had definitely shaped his personality. We’d looked out for him when he was younger. And now that he was grown, he wanted to return the favor. Which would’ve been sweet if he wasn’t looking at Charlie like he wanted to stab him.
“I didn’t know dates were allowed for Sunday roast,” Jack clipped.
I shot him a look.
“Everyone’s welcome,” Kit said, giving Josie a pat on her back. He was holding her now, tucked into his shoulder. “But your attitude isn’t, Jackie.”
Clearing his throat, Charlie stood and held out his hand. “Jack. I’m Charlie. Nice to meet you.”
Jack had the decency to extend his hand.
“Charlie,” he said, giving Charlie’s hand one hard, quick shake before pulling back. “You met my sister when? Three days ago was it? And now you’re having lunch with the family. You move awful quick, don’t you?”
I rolled my eyes. “Jack.”
“Go get something to eat, would you?” Rob said, turning to look at Charlie. “Gets hangry, he does. Been that way since he was little.”
Charlie and Jack stared each other down for another beat before Jack blinked and took a sharp breath.
“Right then. The roast.”
He turned and stalked out of the room.
I looked at Charlie. “I’m sorry about him. He means well, he just…”
“Can be a dick,” Rob said.
I looked pointedly at my brother. “Thank you for that insightful comment.”
“What? It’s the truth. I’m allowed to say it. I shared a bloody womb with the lad. We were womb mates. Get it, Charlie? Womb mates?”
“And that’s our cue to go.” I set my napkin on the table. “Aly, everything was delicious, as always. Congrats on the baby. You’ll let me know when your next appointment is? I can’t wait to see the sonogram pictures.”
Chapter Eighteen
Jane
Charlie was quiet on the walk across the palace grounds to my apartment.
“I’m sorry about Jack,” I said. “He thinks he’s looking out for me. Which I appreciate. But sometimes I think he forgets we’re not teenagers anymore.”
Charlie’s eyes slid to meet mine. They were full. Bluer than before. “It’s all right. I like that he looks out for you. We should all have someone like that in our lives.”
There it was again—that sadness.
“Who’s that someone for you?” I asked.
He tilted his head in a half shrug. “Used to be my mom. But after she died, I had to look after myself. My brother, too.”
My throat tightened. It was starting to make my head pound.
“I’m sorry you were left alone.”
Charlie’s handsome lips pulled into a tight grin. “No more sorries, okay? Today was a really great day for me.”
We’d slowed our steps. I couldn’t look away from him.
“It was a great day for me, too,” I said softly.
He looked at me for a beat. Then another. Searching my eyes. Hesitating. Thinking.
It was overwhelming.
I was overwhelmed. Because this bloke wanted something from me I wasn’t prepared to give. But damn if part of me didn’t want to give it to him. Give in.
He opened his mouth, like he was going to say something. Then he blinked, the look in his eyes contracting. He’d thought better of it.
He started walking again. Kept his gaze trained on his feet as he moved beside me, only looking up when we passed Kit and Emily’s apartment. A sprawling four story, twenty room behemoth, it was the grandest of Primrose’s residences.
“You’re lucky,” Charlie said, looking back down. He had his hands in his pockets again.
His voice was different. A little deeper.
I thought he was talking about the palace. About living here.
“It is lovely,” I said. “A little isolating sometimes. The walls—”
“No.” He looked up. Met my eyes. “You’re lucky to have your family. They’re awesome, Jane.”
I blinked. He’d caught me off guard.
Again.
My pulse fluttered, a million tiny butterflies spreading their wings inside my skin.
I looked away. Looked down at my feet. I had to.
“Thanks,” I said. There was that tightness in my throat again. “I think so, too. I’ll keep them. For now, at least.”
“You should,” Charlie replied. “Growing up, I dreamed about having a family like yours. Everyone around the table like that. It was always very…quiet in our house. It was just my brother and I most of the time, waiting on our mom to come home.”
I noticed one of his shoelaces was untied.
“Careful,” I said, nodding at it.
Charlie knelt down to tie it and grinned. “Jack must’ve done it while I wasn’t looking.”
I scoffed. It made my throat burn.
“So you really were alone a lot,” I said, my eyes latching onto his as he stood. It hit me full force all over again—how handsome he was. Especially when his eyes were thoughtful like this.
He scratched the back of his head. I noticed he only did that when he was uncomfortable.
“You could say that, yeah. I take it you weren’t?”
“Never,” I said. “Not with four kids in the house.”
“But you had to have grown up in a big house?”
“We did.” I nodded. “But we were still always
on top of each other. I think my parents wanted it that way. It was pure chaos. Someone was always screaming or bleeding from their head.”
Charlie arched a brow. “Sounds serious.”
“Probably explains why Jack is the way he is,” I said, grinning. Charlie grinned back. So much bloody grinning with him. “But it was fun, too. I think we all miss those times.”
Charlie’s grin faded a bit. We started walking again. We were quiet for a beat.
I wondered what to say. I had a million questions for him. Some of them serious. What is it that makes you sad?
Some of them, not so much. Want to fuck again?
I didn’t understand how Charlie made me feel at once a little panicky—like I needed to be alone, I needed space to think and digest—and a lot hungry. Like I couldn’t wait to see him again, even though he hadn’t even left yet.
Or maybe I knew this feeling, and I was just too chicken shit to give it a name.
“Penny for your thoughts,” he said.
We were almost at my door. I slowed my stride. The air was still warm and soft. Just how he’d felt wrapped around me last night.
“Honestly?” I said. “I need a cigarette.”
He let out a breath. Whoosh. “Thank God you said that. Mind if I join you?”
I looked at him. “I didn’t know you smoked.”
“I don’t.”
I kept looking at him. His gaze was teasing. Pained.
“I don’t either. Come on, then.”
I led him around the side of my apartment to the garden out back. Settling at the table there, I dug my pack of cigarettes out of my bag and reached for the ashtray I hid behind a table leg. Charlie took the chair across from mine, where he’d sat last night for dinner.
“Why so sneaky?” Charlie asked, helping himself to two cigarettes. He lit one, gave it a good draw. Handed it to me.
I took it. “Thanks,” I said. I put my lips where his had been half a heartbeat before. I could taste him. His mouth.
I remembered how his mouth had felt on my skin last night.
Charlie lit his cigarette. The sting of the smoke relaxed me.
“I honestly don’t do it that much,” I said, watching him inhale. “I only smoke when…well.”
Royal Rogue: A Sexy Royal Romance (Flings With Kings Book 3) Page 12
