And then I was drenched. With water. With light, too.
I stood there and let the dam inside me burst. Tears slid from my closed eyes, hot where the rain was cool.
It’s over.
I made it.
I’m here.
My divorce was over. I’d made it through the darkness. The fear that I’d fuck up again. I was here, now.
I’d done the healing on my own. And now I was ready to take a risk with Charlie.
He’d changed everything. Turned my world on its head in the space of a week.
I cried, competing with the rain. Relief washed through me. Relief and gratitude. There were times when I seriously doubted I’d ever get to this place. I’d been under Michael’s thumb, and then my own, for so long I’d forgotten what freedom felt like.
This is who I was.
Not a princess.
Not a prize.
I was a girl standing naked in the rain, legs shaking, heart thumping.
I was in love.
I turned around to see Charlie standing in the doorway. Arm stretched above his head, hand on the top of the open door. Wearing jeans and nothing else. The one thing the rain hadn’t muted were his eyes. They were piercing, even from a half dozen meters away. They were full. So full and bright, the way my heart felt inside my chest.
He just looked at me, not moving. Not cajoling, or soothing, or trying to fix me. He was letting me have my moment. Giving me the space I needed to process the enormity of what had just happened on my living room floor.
That, more than anything else, made me think the choice to let him in was the right one.
He was right. And he was the one.
Charlie
A weird stillness came over me as I watched Jane stand in the rain. Like I could feel gravity at work, rooting me in place while the rest of the world orbited around us. Grounding me.
It was quiet inside my head for the first time since I’d met her. My heart beat strongly inside my chest. A steadying, regular rhythm.
I knew, with a bone deep certainty, that she was in love with me. That’s why she’d fled outside, overwhelmed.
I knew I was in love with her, too.
I’d meant what I’d said—that I didn’t deserve her. But even though I was going to break both our hearts, that cloud did nothing to dull the sharp honesty of this moment. Of her looking at me over her bare shoulder, everything she felt written clearly on her face.
She was scared out of her fucking mind. But she was opening herself up to me anyway. Her courage—her resilience in the face of all she’d been through—they were the most beautiful things I’d ever seen.
Her eyes still latched onto mine, she turned around.
“You can join me,” she called, holding the blanket against her with her arm.
Rolling my bottom lip between my teeth, I pushed off the door. I’d put my jeans back on, but I was still shirtless and barefoot.
I walked out to meet her. The air was warm but the rain was cooler. I’d be soaked in the next minute. I gave myself over to it, tugging a hand through my hair, encouraging the moisture there to spread.
The grass felt slick and familiar beneath my feet. Reminded me of so many summers spent running around in our yard. I imagined baby Josie playing back here, screaming with pleasure when Pepper the puppy loped up beside her.
I stopped in front of Jane. She tilted her head back to look at me.
We were fucked. There was no happy ending here. There was no future.
But we did have right now. And I made that choice without a second thought—the choice to just be here without thinking about the past or worrying what was going to happen next.
Because that’s all I could give her. The rain would always be there. Might as well dance in it while we still had time.
So I reached down and tucked the edge of the blanket over itself, securing it around Jane’s torso. The wool was sticky and wet. Then I put one hand on the small of her back and reached for her hand with the other, drawing her to me at the same moment I stepped into her.
I began to move, guiding her in time. Holding her against me.
Closing her eyes, Jane kissed my collarbone.
“We can dance inside, you know,” she murmured against my skin.
“I know,” I said. “But when was the last time you danced in the rain?”
She scoffed, her lips softening into a smile. “Last week. But that wasn’t with you.”
I bent my neck, brushing my nose against her cheek. I felt my heart beginning to crack inside my chest.
“What song should we dance to?” I asked.
Jane inhaled. “I don’t know. What about Nirvana?”
“Nirvana?” I managed a laugh. “That’s not exactly romantic.”
“It’s the first song they played at The Jackie O. Club,” she replied. “The first song I heard with you—‘Heart Shaped Box’.”
Of course she remembered the first song we’d heard together. And of course Princess Jane knew her nineties grunge.
Just like she knew her brown liquor. How to split her aces and eights in blackjack.
Shaking my head, I said, “All right. ‘Heart Shaped Box’ it is.”
So I danced with her, murmuring the lyrics in her ear as the rain fell around us.
She kept close, curling into my body. I gently wiped the hair from her eyes, guiding it as best as I could behind her ears. We were soaked now. Not that it mattered.
I looked up at another rumble of thunder. A reminder that reality lurked just outside the palace walls.
Jane kept dancing. I kept singing “Heart Shaped Box” in what I hoped was a Kurt-Cobain-with-a-soft-romantic-edge voice.
The song was actually kind of appropriate, all things considered. For so long, my heart had been an approximation of the actual thing. Cardboard propped up by lies and desperation, hollow on the inside.
But now it felt real. Full.
Fuck.
I stayed awake all night while Jane snoozed softly beside me.
Okay, I told myself. Get up in thirty seconds. Adhere the device to the underside of the windowsill. Then you’ll be done with the damn thing.
But that thirty seconds turned into a minute. Turned into an hour.
It turned into an entire night.
I couldn’t bring myself to fucking get out of bed and do it.
I tried to think of my brother. The money we owed Jimmy. The freedom that was on the other side of this job.
But none of that compared to being in bed next to Jane. The summery scent of her perfume filled my head. I ran my fingertips gently over the skin on her shoulder. Smooth. Warm. Strong.
In the morning. I’d do it in the morning. I’d also bring up the fundraiser then, too.
I’d think of something.
Right now, though, I just wanted to enjoy her quiet company.
But the morning came, and I still hadn’t planted the device.
It burned a hole in my back pocket as Jane walked me to the front door. I told myself there was still time to do it. Jane hadn’t showered yet. I could sneak around the back of the house. Climb up the pergola to her window.
“So I’ll see you tonight?” Jane said, pressing a kiss to my lips.
Last night’s rain had cleared away, and strong, clean morning light streaked through the foyer windows, catching on Jane’s eyelashes. Making the brown in her eyes translucent. I felt like I could see the bottom of the ocean in them. See a different future, one where I didn’t have to fucking destroy her.
My heart clenched. Yesterday’s stillness was receding. Today was Tuesday. One day closer to Friday. To the theft. I felt a little panicky.
I did not fucking panic.
“Absolutely,” I said, pasting on a grin. “How about a date? Dinner this time.”
Jane bit her lip. I think I loved her best like this—still rumpled and soft with sleep. Cup of tea in one hand, the other in the wild mess of her hair, holding it back from her face. The imprint o
f a pillowcase on her cheek.
My dick took notice. I’d had her face down in that pillow just half an hour ago. I wanted to do it again.
“I’d like that. Also—” She took a sip of tea, meeting my eyes over the lip of her mug. “Would you have any interest in being my date on Friday for the fundraiser?”
Inside my chest, my heart twisted.
Why’d you have to make that so fucking easy? I wanted to yell, equal parts relieved and angry. Like she was the one pushing me toward committing the crime, not Jimmy.
“I’d love to,” I croaked out.
“Brilliant.”
A pause. I looked at her. She smiled shyly.
My hand curled into a fist at my side.
Jane laughed. “Why the face?”
“What face?”
“The one you’re wearing. I know Tuesdays can be tough, but—”
But you have no idea how tough this one is already.
I reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I just don’t wanna leave.”
That was the truth. Some of it, anyway.
“You’re sweet,” she said.
“I’m not,” I replied.
I opened the door. Practically dove through it.
“And Charlie?”
I turned around. She was leaning against the doorjamb, one arm crossed over her stomach. A bare leg bent at the knee, tendrils of hair curling down the sides of her face. She looked so fucking kissable right then my throat closed in.
I remembered the first time we’d kissed here. It hit me that maybe I’d known even then—that I was going to fall in love with this girl. Explained why I’d pulled away. Why she’d overwhelmed me that night, just like she was doing now.
I cleared my throat. “Yeah?”
“Thank you,” she said. “For accepting me for who I am. Who I really am, I mean. Outside of all this.” She gestured to the palace. “I think that’s helped me appreciate the courage it took to get through the difficult times. You’ve helped me see myself in a new light. That is…it’s the best gift I think I’ve ever gotten, Charlie. So thank you.”
I looked at her. She looked at me. Those brown eyes soft. Hopeful. Happy. She made me feel like I was the man my mother had raised me to be.
I couldn’t do it.
Jesus Christ, I couldn’t plant that fucking device.
I couldn’t steal from her.
I couldn’t go through with this job.
I didn’t know what I’d do. How I’d buy the freedom Owen and I had been working toward for years. What I’d say to Jimmy.
All I knew was that the job was off.
My heart throbbed. So did my head. I felt wild. Shaky.
Certain.
My hands shook. Pulse went wild. I gave in to every little thing that was happening inside me. I’d pulled back before, but now I was going all in.
I stepped back up and took her face in my trembling hands and I kissed the fuck out of her. The kind of kiss Jack had given Rose after she’d hopped into the lifeboat but decided she’d rather stay onboard with him.
It was desperate. Messy. Artless.
But then Jane’s hand was on my arm. Her mouth was opening up to me. I tasted tea and her. It was familiar now—her taste. She was smiling against my mouth, as relaxed as she was vulnerable yesterday on the living room floor.
“Text me some nudes later?” she murmured.
I laughed. A belly laugh. The kind that made my eyes prick with tears.
“Done. Any specific body part you’d like to see?”
“Just that ass.” She reached around to pinch mine.
I reached around to cup hers. “Maybe that’s why we get along so well. We’re both into ass.”
“I’m only into yours,” she said, smiling.
“Honey, your ass is the only ass I’m ever gonna want from now until forever. You’ve ruined me for all other asses.”
“Then my work here is done.” Jane rolled up to her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to my lips. “Have a good day, Dread Pirate Roberts.”
I looked at her. Really looked. Fear and hope crashing through me.
“You too, princess,” I said.
Forever.
I’d figure out a way to make it happen. Despite the fact that all the odds were stacked against us.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jane
On my way out of my apartment later that morning, I ran into Jack. He was on my front stoop, one eye screwed up against the blare of the morning sun.
“Are you spying on me now?” I asked, smiling.
He looked at me. Then leaned a little closer, studying my face.
“Not spying,” he said. “Just…checking in.”
I rolled my eyes, even as my cheeks warmed.
“I’m fine,” I replied.
Jack turned his head a little so that he was peering at me from the corner of his eye.
“You’re better than that,” he said. “Jane, you’re fucking glowing.”
I put a hand on my face. “Am I?”
“He just left, didn’t he?”
“Maybe,” I replied, looking away.
I couldn’t stop smiling.
“I haven’t seen you like this in a long time,” Jack said after a beat. “You look happy.”
I looked at him. Swallowed. “I am. Charlie makes me happy, Jack. I told you he was different. If you needed to see it to believe it, well…”
My brother was shaking his head.
“I didn’t want to believe it,” he said. “But I am definitely seeing it right now.”
Jack had been my shoulder to cry on during the worst of my divorce. He’d seen me at my lowest. He’d known firsthand how unhappy I’d been.
Which meant he’d know when I was happy.
He knew it right now.
“C’mon,” Jack said, offering me his elbow. “Want to drive to the office together? I need to hear more about this magical night you clearly just had.”
I laughed.
Taking his arm, I said, “I don’t kiss and tell. But let’s just say it was one for the books. Very dirty, very explicit books.”
Charlie
I was the first to arrive at the bar Jimmy owned, the one a floor below his office. No one was there; it opened later in the afternoon.
It was only eleven, but I grabbed a bottle of Jameson and a shot glass from the bar anyway. I’d texted Jimmy and Owen, telling them to meet me here. I was going to tell him the truth. Come clean. It was going to suck. But this little reminder of Jane—this would help.
I poured myself a shot and sipped it. Looked around. I hoped this would be one of the last times I was ever here.
I had no idea how Owen and I would pay Jimmy back without the Warhol money. But I’d figure something out. Something that didn’t require stealing from Jane. I didn’t want to have to steal from anyone. But if it meant securing our freedom so Owen could have the shop, and I could have Jane—then I’d steal from someone else and let that be the last time.
The last con.
I’d go out and scour London myself if I had to. There were other rich people in this city we could rip off. Other people who owned expensive artwork.
Maybe I was still riding my high from spending the night with Jane. But I felt optimistic. Maybe I could have my cake and eat it, too, for once in my life.
There were a lot of moving pieces. Chief among them explaining myself to Jane. But I had some time. I could make it all come together. I’d never been more motivated. Probably because I’d never had so much on the line before.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I dug it out and smiled when I saw it was a text from Jane. I’d taken the liberty of sending her a picture of my bare ass after I’d gotten out of the shower earlier. She’d replied with a smiley face emoji that was drooling.
DAT. ASS. she’d typed under it. Did you get it from throwing around all those bales of hay, farm boy?
Grinning, I started typing a reply when I heard footsteps on the stairs
. I looked up to see Owen and Jimmy coming down from the office upstairs. They were both dressed as usual. Owen in his chef’s pants, his long hair wild and unkempt. And Jimmy in the slickest, sharpest suit I’d ever seen.
Jimmy’s eyes narrowed on the bottle of whiskey in front of me.
Checking his watch, he said, “Did you plant the device?”
No use beating around the bush. I straightened, shot glass in hand.
“I didn’t,” I said.
“Why not?” Jimmy said.
I sniffed. Now or never.
“Because the job is off.”
Jimmy went still.
“Pardon?”
“I’m calling it. There have been some…developments.” I sipped at the whiskey. It burned going down my throat.
“You’re calling it?” Jimmy said, putting a hand on the bar beside my glass. He loomed over me. “I didn’t know you had the authority to do such a thing.”
I took a breath. I didn’t have the authority. Jimmy was the boss. But I was an essential part of the con.
“I’m the Romeo,” I said. “The center of this whole operation. Without me, you guys are fucked, and you know it.”
“Of course I know it,” Jimmy pressed. “What I don’t know is why you’d blow off the job of a lifetime, especially when your freedom—and your little sandwich shop—are at stake.”
I felt Owen’s eyes on me. I looked toward him. He stood by the door.
His expression was hard. Dark.
“You’re in love with her,” he said flatly.
I looked at him.
“But I told you,” Jimmy snapped, taking a step toward me. “I told you that was part of the con. You may be in love with Princess Jane, but she’ll never love you. Not after finding out who you really are.”
I looked at him. Looked him in the eye. “She’s not like the others, Jimmy.”
“Tsk.” He gave his head a violent shake. “That’s what they all say. And I’m here to tell you from personal experience that she is like the others. Maybe not right now—not when everything is so new. So exciting. But her brother is the future King of England, Charlie. Think about that. You really believe she’ll go to bat for you? Put her family’s reputation on the line to marry a thief? A guy who works behind the counter at a deli? We’ve talked about this. I know these people. They’ll turn their backs on you the second they find out who you are. Same as they did to me.”
Royal Rogue: A Sexy Royal Romance (Flings With Kings Book 3) Page 16
