“I’ll be back,” she whispered, brushing her fingers over his hand as she heard the approaching footsteps, too soon. “Please come back to me. I need you.”
She had seen people in the ICU before, thought she’d be able to keep it together, but nothing could have ever prepared her for this moment, the man she loved in this hospital bed, fighting for his life after this senseless act of violence.
“Have we already lost?” she asked out loud, her vision blurred by tears. “How do we know that this isn’t the end of it? They will do anything to stop us, and no one will be held accountable when people like Michaels believe in their lies.” The people who blasted Exodus daily on the news might not go and pick up a gun, but they could have just as well put it into Michaels’ hands. How could you stop hate at the root of it? “You’ve got to live, damn it. Otherwise, it was all for nothing.”
“Mrs. Greene?” A nurse stood in the doorway, looking apologetic. “You should get some rest too.”
“I’m coming.” Hilary stood on shaky legs, leaning down to kiss Marc on the cheek before she straightened, desperately trying not to think of this scene as a goodbye. It wasn’t. This was only the beginning. They had worked hard, all their lives, for a shot at dreaming big and making it happen. “I love you,” she said. “We’re in this together.”
She had prayed, raged, offering all kinds of deals to God. As far as Hilary was concerned, God had every reason to show her mercy, considering all the good they were planning to do, and already had done. They would save many more families like Tasha’s—now, please, save mine.
* * * *
“Let’s start packing,” Kerry said.
Vivien thought she might have misheard her. Not that she wasn’t paying attention, on the contrary, she couldn’t bring herself to let go of Kerry even for a moment, for the fear she might disappear in front of her eyes. Those words, however, had to be a figment of her imagination.
“It’s as good a moment as any. Hilary and Marc are going to take care of the house sale, so…I need to do something. I can’t just sit around.”
“It’s after midnight.”
The gaze Kerry turned on her was haunted, desperate, ending all discussion. Reality was about to come crashing down on them, but if packing a few boxes could keep it at bay for a bit longer, so be it.
“Okay. Where do you want to start?” Vivien asked.
“I don’t know…some books, knickknack, something we don’t use every day.”
“Sure. It’s a good thing we didn’t throw those boxes out yet.”
“This time will be different. We’ll have a home where we can stay for a long time…and we’ll get married. We’ll find a doctor who’s not a Goddamn bigot and who’ll do her job.” They never even got down to the basement to get those boxes. Vivien had to hold on because Kerry needed her to.
* * * *
Marc’s parents came through with their promise. They stayed, unobtrusively inserting themselves into Hilary’s everyday and professional life so she could spend most of the time at Marc’s bedside. Hours, then days blurred into one another, gratitude for every small victory keeping exhaustion at bay. The first time he opened his eyes, the first time he would lift his hand to touch hers. Words. The latter nearly broke her, because it was the silence that had weighed heavily on her. She’d tried to fill it with frantic monologues that came up somewhat empty, because she had little knowledge of what the people around her were doing, and didn’t care.
The doctors had told her they’d expect a full recovery, which was a relief, but Hilary knew that neither of them would simply bounce back from this day. Too much was broken. For many years, she’d walked into the building feeling safe and happy. Hilary didn’t know if she’d ever find that much trust again, or if it even mattered.
The first time Marc asked about Exodus, she had to make an admission.
“People are still signing up, I suppose,” she said vaguely.
“Any problems?”
“Not that I’m aware of. I haven’t been in for some time.” She could see the honest surprise in his face which made something snap within her.
“I almost lost you! Do you really think I could spare some time to think about anything else?”
He waited. Between the two of them, Marc had always been the patient one.
“Your parents have been helping a lot, but I…” She blinked back the tears, irritated with herself. She wasn’t the one who had almost died. No, that wasn’t helping either. “I couldn’t go in there thinking this is where it happened.”
“I know. I’m not looking forward to it either, but…I hope they cleaned up the blood in the meantime.”
It had been so hard to smile in the past days that she almost didn’t know how to. “You’ve got to work on your dark humor, you know?” she said.
“Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.” They held each other’s gaze for a long moment. “We can’t let this go now. We don’t want to, right?”
Hilary knew he was right, but between the certainty and doing what she needed to… “Most of all, I don’t want to leave you. You have no idea…”
“I do—but we made a promise, to them, to ourselves. Just a few hours, so you’re on top of everything?”
When had she ever been able to say no to him?
“Tomorrow,” she promised. “I have more to tell you.”
* * * *
There was no blood on the carpet. Marta had taken a leave of absence, but Hilary was surprised to run into Aimee carrying a pile of folders. The last time Hilary had seen her was with a smear of blood on her cheek and hair, her gaze unfocused. She looked very much put-together in her usual work outfit, heels higher than Hilary had ever attempted, advising two of her co-workers.
“Mrs. Greene! It’s so good to see you!”
There was a moment of hesitation before she set down the folders on the desk of the young woman who temporarily replaced Marta, and embraced Hilary. “I’m sorry I wasn’t in touch much,” she said apologetically. “I’ve been reporting to Mr. and Mrs. Greene senior, and we’ve been trying to keep it all together.”
Yeah, me too. There was no reproach in Aimee’s voice though.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” Hilary said. “You should take some time to yourself as well.”
Aimee shrugged. “Everybody came back to work. Staying at home is really driving me up the walls and…We need to be here. This was a shock for everyone, but everyone wants to pull together and get the work done so the program can succeed. We need this.”
“Okay. I’m glad. Thank you.”
“Do you know when Mr. Greene will be back?”
“Not for some time,” Hilary admitted. “Marc’s parents will stay with us for a while longer.”
“Good. Media’s still going crazy over this. Melodie Timmons was trying to call you a few times this morning.”
“Oh, I’ve got other things to do.”
“Maybe you should hear her out,” Aimee suggested. “She’s always been fair to us.” She blushed a little. “That’s up to you, of course.”
“No, you’re right.” Hilary had to smile, more than a bit relieved. The sky hadn’t fallen in her absence. That had always been the point behind their beliefs and philosophy—if you treated everyone in your company with respect and decency, they identified with the shared purpose. When needed, they would step up, like everyone had.
Still, a few minutes later when she sat in Marc’s office, his chair, imagining the minutes leading up the shooting, the gravity of the facts and even worse possibilities came crashing down on her once more. She needed to hold it together, to do better or at least as well as all the people in the building who could have stayed away from the scene, but had come back to keep the show running. They believed in her and Marc, and in Exodus. She couldn’t let them down. Of the many messages, there was one from Katherine Rhayne.
Let me know if you need me for anything. No kidding. The sudden onslaught of guilt left her breathless. Of course
she had to call back Katherine, see if she could arrange counseling for the employees who had been here on that fateful day, and the families of the injured. Thank God no one had died.
She hadn’t heard the knock on the door, or the soft sound of it opening.
“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Greene. I…I’ve had a lot of moments like that.” She closed the door behind her, leaning against it for a moment, indecisive. “I thought you could use this,” Aimee said, referring to the coffee she was carrying. “Another thing--I pushed it back as far as possible, but we need to start talking transportation. Some have offered to carpool, or thrown air miles into the pool and…God, I need to stop talking.”
“It’s fine.” Hilary gestured for her to sit down as she wiped her face with a paper towel. “Let’s get to it. Besides, I’ve been on a caffeine diet for weeks now. I never turn down coffee.”
* * * *
“I hate having to do this, especially since you’re a local hero now. I’d like to emphasize that it’s not my idea. I still wish you would consider staying.”
The way Captain Jepsen was maneuvering around the subject couldn’t mean anything good.
“Are we talking suspension again?” Kerry asked, only mildly offended. She didn’t think that after the past weeks, she could be too concerned about this. She was lucky to be alive. That put a lot of things into perspective.
“Leave of absence. I’m sorry though that at this point, I couldn’t find any opening within the area the Exodus project will be taking place.”
“Locals are wary, huh?”
The captain didn’t try to dissuade her theory. “Look, you and I both know Susan Wells is lying, but that isn’t enough. In the meantime, her lawyers are looking into suing. That’s because the department didn’t do enough to protect her from the advances of her TO who happened to be a predatory lesbian. Their words, not mine.”
“Wow. So I’m on my own, local hero be damned.”
“I’m really sorry, Rivers, but my hands are tied here. I wish there was any other way.”
“No problem. Thank you for being honest with me.”
The moment she walked out of the police department, Kerry called Vivien and asked her to come home. Some things couldn’t wait.
* * * *
Vivien went still against her, her body warm and relaxed underneath Kerry’s. Kerry pulled her close, burying her face against her shoulder, and Vivien’s arms came around her.
“I’m sorry,” Kerry said. She had wanted to talk, but obviously, that hadn’t happened yet. They had exchanged a few words after Vivien had come home. The next moment, the floor was littered with clothes, the need for proximity drowning out all else.
“I’m not.”
Kerry sighed. “You might be when I tell you I’ll have to beg Marc and Hilary for a job after all. That’s not the worst though. I think it’s time we talk about Susan.”
Vivien pulled up the sheet over them, regarding her intently. “Whatever you need to do is okay with me, but…I know you didn’t do what she said.”
“No, I didn’t. I wasn’t completely blameless either.”
“You got me naked first so I wouldn’t run away?”
“Kind of,” Kerry admitted ruefully. “Look, it was my responsibility. I should have never gotten involved with her, and there is no excuse really. We worked this case together…The parents had called the police and told us someone had kidnapped their six-year-old daughter. They had received a ransom note. Only…they had planned it all from the beginning. We found the body, and that was just the beginning of the nightmare. There is no excuse,” she repeated. “We have bad cases sometimes. It makes you wonder about the human race, but we all chose the job. It was my first time as a training officer. We went for drinks one time, and it just happened.”
“She’s married…probably closeted,” Vivien surmised. “She wants to lay the blame somewhere, and the situation was convenient. So was the money, I assume.”
“I am to blame…just not for what she says.”
Kerry turned away, all of a sudden ashamed. Susan’s story was ridiculous. There was nothing Kerry could have done to make her any gayer than she already had been. It was the difference in power that made their case complicated, where Kerry had messed up.
“Hey, don’t do that.” Vivien placed a soft kiss on the back of her neck. “We’ll make a statement if we need to, tell the truth. I want to marry you. I want to raise a child with you. That part didn’t change, and it never will, I promise. All I can tell from this is you made a mistake, and they’re dragging it up because of Exodus. Otherwise, no one would care.”
“I guess you’re right,” Kerry said, turning to her.
“I believe you. So do Marc and Hilary. Speaking of which, how about we go by the hospital later? Maybe we can also talk to Hilary about the house and your job. Marc will be coming home next week. We’ll want to keep things moving.”
“We could go now.”
“No,” Vivien whispered. “I need a little more time with you.”
Her hands were warm and tender, and Kerry had no objections at all.
Chapter Eighteen
Hilary learned from Arianna that she and her husband had visited employees who had been injured in the shooting, and services and means of compensation were already in place.
“I hope you don’t mind we took the initiative,” Arianna told her. “You were just so…you were with Marc all the way, and it was the right thing to do.” Hilary agreed with her mother-in-law, but now that Marc was doing better, and she was doing better as well, it was time for her to take back the wheel. She made appointments with each of them, and asked Katherine Rhayne to accompany her. She also called back Melodie Timmons.
“I know you’re busy, so I’ll make this short,” Melodie said. “First of all, I’m glad for you and Marc, that you all made it through. Second, I want you two on the show as soon as possible. Rivers and Collins too. I know Kerry Rivers is a bit of a controversial figure, but—”
“I thought the show was off the air for a while?”
“You wouldn’t believe the magic a good lawyer can do. Actually, I think you would. In the end, it’s hard to argue against free speech or ratings—and I know the ratings will go through the roof.”
Hilary wasn’t sure what to say to that. Clearly, Melodie was good at watching out for herself, not that Hilary minded. The TV host had always been fair to them, asking a few questions that made a person roll their eyes, but that came from the higher-ups who played golf with Miller.
“Marc isn’t up to going on live TV yet, and frankly, neither am I. When we are, you’ll be the first to know.”
“I count on it. You’ll get me Rivers and Collins too? What is that story about Susan Wells? I believe you must know.”
“Come on, Melodie. You know they are lying because of Exodus. It’s a shame, because when the truth comes out, some will twist that too in order to discredit women who come forward and report crimes.”
“It would be good if we could hear her say it. There’s something else. My boss thinks it should be a human interest type surprise, but I think neither you nor Marc would ever talk to me again, so I’m telling you this upfront. Clare Michaels—you guessed it, the ex-wife—will be there. She wants to ask your forgiveness.”
Hilary was pretty sure she’d never been less ready for anything.
“Please, hear me out. She’s desperate. Has been cleared by the police. She’s been living with her sister for weeks before the shooting, but she’s been able to give some insight into her husband’s behavior.”
“He came to work with the intent to kill my husband, and probably a lot more people. That’s all I need to know.”
“She says she never meant to join Exodus—that’s apparently been a big part of what set him off—but she changed her mind. She wants to do what she can to make it right.”
“I don’t know if I can do that. Melodie, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I don’t know if I can stand to be
in the same room as her. It’s not rational, I know. I don’t want to be anywhere near these people.”
“Maybe you have to,” Melodie stated bluntly. “Sure, you got lots of people on your side, the informed ones, the political junkies, but there’s still a huge amount of those out there who either don’t care or could easily be swayed by the nay-sayers. You don’t want that to happen.”
“We have our marketing department to take care of that.”
“I don’t think that’s enough. The audience wants more than one press release after the other. They appreciate the occasional scandal, of course, but mostly, they want the truth, real people. Show them who you are.”
“I’ve got to talk to Marc about this.”
“You do that,” Melodie said. “Call me back tonight. I’ll give you my private number.”
After she’d hung up, Hilary leaned back in her chair, shaking her head to herself. If Clare Michaels wanted absolution, she was the wrong person to ask for it—but she couldn’t argue with Melodie’s point. They would have to get out there and show the world what Exodus was, before Miller and his friends, here and all over the country, could define it for them. Not at any cost though.
* * * *
“Go and find me something. No marriage is that good.” The governor wasn’t in a good mood, which still had to do with the ways the planted news stories had tanked, Emily surmised. “Jesus, would you just do your job?” he snapped at the investigator who seemed to barely control his irritation. “I have mine to do here. Emily.”
“Governor.”
She wasn’t sure whether to be amused or annoyed with the kindergarten antics going on in this office—or still offended because he had revealed he thought nothing more of her than a pretty face that was useful to his agenda. Nevertheless, she had some things to tell him that would serve said agenda, and probably give her a bit more leverage. She wondered what the conversation had been about, but neither man was inclined to continue it in her presence. Well, they couldn’t be talking about her marriage which wasn’t that great to begin with. Both she and her husband were well aware that they needed each other for their public profile. Other than that, they were happy to go their separate ways and leave each other alone.
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