by Anna Lewis
“Hex?” I asked quietly, turning over to face him, but this time he really was asleep. His chest was rising and falling lightly and he let out a light snore.
Great, just me suffering then. I was the only one in a desperate needy state. It seemed that Hex had kissed me then fallen asleep from boredom! He didn't care that nothing had progressed at all.
I was an idiot, and about to get my heart handed to me on a plate if I wasn't careful.
“I'm your bodyguard, I'm supposed be… to be looking after you…”
It seemed that he really meant that, and it wasn't just something that he was saying. I needed to accept that and move on. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to think about something else, anything else, but the only person in my brain was him. I might have only known Hex for a few hours, but it had already been a roller coaster of a ride with him. I had gone from hating him and what he stood for, to having my life saved by him, to kissing him… then being rejected by him.
How the hell were we going to act normally around each other now? This was going to be impossible… I needed my stalker caught sooner rather than later. Then there would be no need for Hex to stick around, then I could go back to mostly, sort of, looking after myself.
***
Hex
I didn't sleep a wink last night, not even for one second. I might have pretended that I did, just to stop me and Kayla from doing something stupid, but I couldn't.
I was miserable, absolutely disappointed, and that sensation hadn't gone even though many hours had passed. Kayla was the first woman that I had really liked in ages, and I'd been forced to push her off me, just to be sensible. I hadn't wanted to, especially not when I was about to lose control, but I really didn't want to end up regretting it. I didn't want to be a mistake.
I guess that was one of my biggest fears; that she was only kissing me because she was freaked out by what happened with he stalker. I didn't want her to leap on me just because I protected her and told her the truth. I wanted her to want me.
“Morning,” she said warily, sitting up to give me an odd look. “How are you feeling today?” I didn't want to lie to her, so I figured it was best to not say anything at all about myself. “So I better go and see Mouse quickly, find out what the plan is for today. That will give you time to shower and… and whatever.”
“Yeah, yeah okay…” she flushed bright red as if some untoward thought had crossed her mind, which intrigued me greatly. Was she imagining something to do with me… kissing her, touching her..?
“Great,” I shot back sharply. “See you in a bit then.”
As I crossed the hotel room hallway to Mouse's room, I felt sick to my stomach. How the hell was I going to explain any of this to him? Not the kiss of course, I hoped that he never found out about that, but about the encounter with the stalker, and me telling Kayla the truth. That could have gotten me fired, and I really didn't want that to happen.
Maybe it was best to get defensive, to blame him and tell him that he should have known that would have happened. Or maybe I needed to say nothing at all. There wasn't any law that said I needed to tell him, was there? I worked for the agency, not him, and I couldn't remember ever seeing that specific rule. Sure I was just trying to find a loophole, but I felt overly protective of Kayla now, and I didn't want to leave her in the hands of anyone else. I had to keep my job.
“Good morning,” he said as he burst out of the door before I got a chance to make any kind of decision. “I was just coming to find you. Did Kayla tell you that she has a television interview today? With that music channel, what is it called?” He clicked his fingers at me but I simply shrugged my shoulders. “Anyway, we need to get over to wardrobe in a minute. I'm pretty sure the car is waiting outside.”
“Right, I'll just go and get her then.” That left me with no choice, there just wasn't any time to get into any deep and meaningful conversation. Well good, I wasn't in the mood for it anyway. Then if it came up again I could just say that I never got the chance to explain.
I opened the bedroom door to hear the shower still running. For a moment, my mind went exactly where it shouldn't go, to the gorgeous girl under the hot steaming water. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like naked.
Shit, my stomach was swirling, a heat creeping its way through my veins. I fanned my face quickly, needing to calm myself down, then I called out to Kayla. “I'm sorry to disturb you Kayla, but Mouse said we have to go now. You have an interview in a bit.”
“Oh God,” she groaned loudly over the sound of the rushing water. “I totally forgot about that, alright.”
I paced the room for a moment, waiting for her before realizing that I probably needed to vacate the room. Chances were Kayla was going to come out here wrapped in only a towel and that was an image that I really didn't need. Things were bad enough just imagining her.
“I'll go out into the hallway to wait for you,” I told her awkwardly through the door. “I'll see you in a moment.”
Once I was outside I sucked in a deep breath of air and I pressed my back against the door in a weary exhaustion. I couldn't believe that I was back here again, pining after someone who could never be mine. With Vivien, I could blame a lot of it on being young and naïve, unable to control my emotions, but now I was supposed to be much more mature. I should have grown over the last few years. Kayla was human, famous, and effectively my employer for the time being, not someone that I needed to be falling for.
What the hell was wrong with me?
For a moment, thought back to Luci, the dragon I met in New York. She was sweet, kind, generous, the sort of woman that I really should have ended up with, but I found myself bored and totally uninterested. Maybe I thrived on the drama, maybe that was what I needed in my life. Maybe I was one of those people who needed something to be exciting and crazy for me to be interested.
Oh God, that meant my life would never be straightforward, I was going to be in this weird, horrible limbo. That was a hideous outlook for my future. If that was what I needed to be interested, then how the hell was I ever going to meet anyone normal? How would I find someone to be with, someone to marry and have kids with? I'd always assumed that another dragon shifter would be better for me to save all the hassle, but now I was actually thinking that maybe a human could be better. Then I could have all the drama of turning my partner into a hybrid. That would be interesting...
***
Kayla
As the car whizzed along to my interview – which I really wasn't in the mood for by the way – I kept sneaking glances at Hex. I was trying not to, but I couldn't seem to help myself.
I had dreamed wild things last night, mostly about him, but there was only one image that was sticking firmly in my mind. It was me, as his bride, as a dragon hybrid. That wasn't anything that I'd ever considered before. I was perfectly happy being human thank you very much. I wasn't one of those girls who aimed to become a hybrid, but somehow, with Hex that thought wasn't so scary after all.
As a dragon hybrid, I would look a little different, more dragon-like, and I would be stronger too. I wouldn't have all the dragon abilities. I wouldn't be able to fly or change shape or anything, but it would give me the expanded life span of a shapeshifter. And I would be able to get pregnant by a dragon, too.
Not that I was thinking about having babies anytime soon, not while I was in the beginning-middle of my career. Although dragon babies would be pretty cute…
“Right, we're here,” Mouse interrupted my thought patterns, making me jump out of my skin. “Go on, hurry off to wardrobe, we're already late.”
I raced off, forcing myself not to look backwards at Hex for fear of turning bright red, and I quickly found myself in the whirlwind of being made TV-presentable. I had clothes placed on me, my hair twisted and styled in all kinds of ways, and makeup plastered thickly on my face.
I was back to the Kayla that I usually presented to the world – the strong, confident, charismatic woman. Hidden was the truth of me, that I felt inse
cure, that I occasionally felt like a fraud, that the life had been handed to me by mistake. I needed to keep her pushed down because as soon as the world sensed that weakness within me they would leap upon that like a vulture.
I stepped out onto the stage to a booming round of applause from the audience. I'd been here before, I had done plenty of things like this, but it always blew me away a bit. I always felt a little like a deer caught in the headlights, especially under the burning, white TV lights.
“Hello there, Kayla,” the presenter greeted me. I shook her hand, but even as I stared at her, her name escaped me. I should have known her, she was pretty famous herself, but my head was not in the game today. “So how are you doing?” she grinned, brushing past my silence, ever the professional.
“I'm good, thank you for having me.” I sat in the couch, trying to relax, but I felt all on edge. Worse than normal.
“So, you're here today to tell us about your new single which is coming out next month, am I right?”
I started to tell her about my next song, acting like I had written it in the way that I was trained to do. I always felt bad for the real writers, even though I never explicitly took credit, but Mouse always said that it made it seem like I was more connected to the lyrics, like they had come from somewhere deep inside my soul. The presenter was smiling, as if she was drinking it all in, but that didn't make me feel any better. I still felt like a fraud.
“That's great,” she replied when I finished. “Now, I would like to discuss something with you,” her tone turned more playful and she sent me a wink. “I have heard through the grapevine that you are dating…”
Dating? Shit! I sat up straighter, panic icing up my veins.
“The Hollywood actor, Ben Lindt.”
Oh, thank God! “Erm… no I haven't heard the rumor.” I told her seriously. “I don't even think I've met him.”
But of course that wasn't the end of it, she had a picture of me and Ben, looking like we were kissing. I knew the truth of it though. Ben had asked me to flirt with him to make someone else jealous. I went along with it because I was tipsy, and I didn't even know who he was.
I could have just explained that, but it seemed easily to play it coyly. It was better than the truth anyway, that mostly I was boring, except for one illicit kiss with my bodyguard the previous night.
“Oh well,” I flickered my eyelashes and giggled lightly. “No comment then.”
“But you have met him?” she persisted, winding me up. “You clearly know him.”
“Clearly,” I replied through gritted teeth. “Yes, I know him. That's all I want to say for now.”
As the subject changed again, and the interview eventually got wrapped up, I started to wonder if Hex was watching. What the hell would he think of me and that dumb comment if he had? He would assume that I was slutty, that I went around kissing everyone. He probably assumed that I really was the one night stand type.
All of a sudden, my clever put-down didn't seem quite so smart after all…
As I walked back to the dressing room, my eyes scanned everywhere trying to find him, but he was nowhere to be seen. For someone that was supposed to be my body guard, that wasn't great. He was supposed to be everywhere, watching me the whole time, keeping my stalker away from me. Surely he couldn't be jealous?
I vowed to myself that I would explain myself to him when I saw him, however embarrassing it was. I would just have to suck it up and tell him that I'd lied about Ben Lindt, just to save face on TV, which might have revealed my feelings more than I wanted to, but it was much better than the alternative.
It sure as hell beat losing him.
***
Hex
“Oh well. No comment then.” Those words, combined with the picture of Kayla kissing some other guy, some super hot, famous actor sent daggers into my chest. It hurt far more than it should have done, especially as I shouldn't have been feeling that way anyway. I was supposed to be a professional.
Just watching her, knowing that she gave away her kisses far too readily, hurt like hell.
“Mouse,” I grabbed his arm and got his attention. “I have some… family issues tonight,” I lied through my teeth, but luckily he didn't seem like a very perceptive man. “I need to take a night off. Do you mind if I get another bodyguard from the agency in tonight?”
“No, sure, you do what you need to do,” he slurred slightly. He'd been drinking. I had to resist rolling my eyes at him. I was trying to see him in a good light, but actually he was an asshole. He was self-obsessed, and always put himself first. Kayla really needed a brand new manager. “As long as someone is watching her, I don't mind.”
He turned away from me, proving that he was going to continue on drinking, so I shook my head and made my way out into the hallway for some privacy. I needed someone to come now, before I had to face Kayla again, I didn't think that I could do it. I didn't want to see her pretty face, to know that I'd been agonizing over her when I was so sure I meant absolutely nothing to her.
I needed some time alone. I had the incredible urge to turn into a dragon, to fly away… just for a little bit. This wasn't me escaping like last time, running away and moving around until I felt settled, this was just me taking a step back to give myself the time to think. I needed to get my head screwed on straight, I needed my thoughts to be in order or I wouldn't be any good to anyone. I couldn't protect Kayla if my brain was foggy and I was getting unprofessional, which made this even more important.
“Hey Burt,” I said to the agency guy as he answered the phone. “I know this sucks and is short notice, but a family emergency has arisen and I need to go home.” Please don't ask what it is! “So is there any chance of cover?”
“Let me look.” While he searched, I internally prayed. I might have only been on the job for a short time, but too much had happened, it had been a crazy roller coaster, and I needed a time out. I was aware that Kayla would probably be hurt, just because she'd begged me to look out for her, but I had to protect my heart too. I didn't think that I could survive another heart break. “Yes, Fuller can be over in the next two hours.”
Two hours?!
My heart sank, but I had to agree. It was better than nothing. All I had to do now was ride in the car with her back to the hotel. I could handle that, couldn't I?
“Okay, thanks Burt. Speak to you later.”
I sucked in a few deep breaths and set about looking for Kayla. I needed to get out of here, I needed to get the hell away.
***
The car ride back was awful, worse than I'd been expecting and it made me want to scream with frustration. What the hell was going on with Kayla? She wasn't the one who had been made a fool of, she wasn't the one who had allowed herself to be vulnerable, just to be crushed once more. That had been me. I was the idiot.
“Right,” I said stiffly, when we got to her hotel room. “I have arranged cover for tonight. Something has come up, and I need to go away, but it'll probably only be for one night.”
“What? Why?” she gasped, clearly in shock. Could she not see what she was doing to me? Did she think that any of this was easy for me? “Who is going to come in your place? What if the stalker comes?”
That made me feel so bad that I almost backtracked on my plan. But then I recalled that secret smile as she talked about Ben during the TV interview, and my heart hardened once more.
“He won't come, I think he'll back off scared for a while. Plus the new guy, Fuller, is good. He won't let anything happen to you. I just… I need to go.”
I turned to walk away, to wait outside the door until Fuller came, but then she blurted something out as if she could sense what was going on inside.
“It isn't true, you know.” I looked at her curiously and she blushed brightly. “Ben… the whole thing. It isn't what it looks like.”
“Right,” I replied flatly. I wanted to know more, desperately, but I was far too scared to allow that to show. “Well I'm going to go, okay.”
&nb
sp; “Please don't,” she begged in a whisper, her expression gutted as if she was falling apart. “Please stay.”
My heart bled, and that was the exact reason I couldn't stay. “I can't… I need some space. I need to go.”
With that I spun on my heels and moved to the door. I rushed, because I had tears threatening to spill down my face, and I really didn't want her to see that. Once I was outside and by myself, I brushed the wetness angrily away. This was stupid, a total nightmare. I needed it over.
Maybe it would be best for me to stay away completely. Maybe I needed to avoid this for good. It might cost me my job at the agency, but it was better to protect myself first. I had been through enough, and as selfish as that would probably be to someone else, I needed to do what was right for me.
***
Kayla
What the fuck is going on? Who the hell is this?
My sleep-addled mind couldn't put two and two together as I found myself dragged from the room. At first I felt like I was dreaming, so I didn't even bother to put up a fight as the room went black and I felt myself being moved. I just lay there and let it happen.
Not anymore though. Now I was kicking and screaming like there was no tomorrow!
“Let me go,” I yelled out pathetically, but obviously no one could hear me as every sound was muffled by the bag over my head. “What’s going on?”
The stalker had kidnapped me. At least, I presume it was him.
I'd been so wrapped up in my misery and hurt, so sucked in by Hex's words as he left me that I hadn't even been thinking about my stalker. The new bodyguard came, but I didn't care. I just greeted him miserably and climbed into bed. But the new bodyguard had obviously let me down. Somehow the stalker had gotten through.
Without Hex, I was screwed this time. Probably no one had followed me. That meant that no one would know how to find me. I would disappear, dead. And who would care… really? Mouse, maybe, for a while. Until he realized that he could make a quick buck out of the story. He would probably write a book about the dead pop star that he used to manage. Then there was my parents. They didn't see me much anyway. How much would my death affect them? Probably not much, I thought despairingly.
