by Maria Lake
According to Nellie, who seemed to be quite the slattern, it was only the first time that hurt. After that, well...
Both Annie and Josie had listened to Nellie with wide eyes, Annie terrified that someone else might overhear them, Josie eager for more details. And Nellie was happy to share everything she knew about what a man and woman got up to on their own.
The conversation with Nellie had been a real eye opener. Afterward, Annie found herself torn as to which woman to believe. Josie had told her she was well inclined to go with Nellie's account, after all, Mrs. Appleton would want to scare Annie away from having relations prior to getting married. Once she tied the knot, there'd be no danger to her reputation no matter how many times she and her husband joined themselves together.
It was odd that Josie had spent all this time on a ranch full of men, and hadn't really understood how that thing between a man's legs was supposed to go with a woman's body. Thanks to the talkative Nellie, she knew far more about it that she'd ever expected. She also found herself spending a lot of time thinking about that part of Sam, and whether she might be able to do anything to get it to stir.
If she pushed back against Sam right now, even just a little bit, would she feel that part of him throb? And if he did, what would happen then?
As Josie rode back to the ranch, her virginal body so close to Sam, it was all she could do to keep a strange smile from stealing across her face. And yet she was keenly aware that she had somehow managed to embarrass herself. Already she could feel that her trousers were soaked through between her legs, and she worried how she could get down from the horse without Sam noticing. She couldn't understand what had come over her, for surely she hadn't felt the need to relieve herself, yet here she was, as if she had gone and wet herself, the inseam of her warm damp trousers sticking to her in a way that should only make her very ashamed of herself.
Somehow, she managed to dismount without anyone noticing what she had done to her trousers, and Josie was so eager to back her way into the house that she saw no reason to prolong any chatter with Sam.
For his part, Sam tipped his hat at her, mumbled something about not expecting to see her again for the day, and got back on Stormy so fast that it seemed like a demon was after him.
Chapter 18
When she had awkwardly left him at mid-day, Sam had told her he expected a long day, and asked her forgiveness if he wouldn't be stopping in later for her guitar lessons. She'd been upset to think she'd be left all alone in the evening, but her thoughts about Sam were so terribly jumbled, she didn't know what she should think.
They'd never been alone like that before. Even when they were in the house, she always knew that Mrs. Martin was there too, even if the old woman was napping in another room. As physically close as they had gotten during the guitar lessons, they'd never been so close to each other as they were riding his horse.
She would never forget how it felt to sit right in front of him in the saddle, her bottom nearly brushing against his open lap. Her thoughts about him had been so far from pure she most likely deserved to be whipped for them. And yet the thought of being punished for her dirty thoughts only made her ache more.
She tried to turn her attention to her desk instead. She detested going through the bills, but at least that would give her something to take her mind off of Sam. Maybe her debts would be enough to scare her out of thinking about her incredibly attractive, muscular foreman.
There were enough unpaid bills to occupy the rest of her day. The sky darkened, the moon rose, and she was still unhappily caught up in her accounts when she was completely surprised by Sam suddenly coming up behind her chair. Flustered, she tried to push the bills and her ledger out of his sight as quickly as possible. Normally, she would be happy for a private moment with Sam, but she really didn’t want him to know the extent of the ranch's debts.
Every now and then he'd managed to convince her to show him a bill, and it had never failed to go the same way- as soon as Sam saw it, the account got settled up the very next day. Poring over the figures, it was mighty clear that it wasn't the ranch paying those bills off either. Josie was mortified that the ranch had so many debts, but it embarrassed her even more that Sam was obviously going into his own savings to help her make good on what she owed.
Josie looked at the latest stack, and hoped they were hidden enough where she had pushed them to the back of the desk. She couldn't share these with him. She still had some pride left. She could not accept his charity.
“Everything all right?” Sam asked, putting his hand on her shoulder.
It was just a friendly touch, but it still made her skin tingle. After their strange parting earlier in the day, she hadn't expected to feel him against her for a long time. She had been afraid she'd been too bold in her advances, and that he'd shy away from her for a while. Certainly, she often did what she could to brush up against him whenever she had the chance, but it was rare for him to be so close to her, to touch her outside of giving her a guitar lesson or helping her onto one of the taller horses.
Maybe, just maybe, he had also been strangely moved by their ride together. Maybe she had been right to think that their bodies had somehow been having a conversation of their own. She longed to get up out of her chair and throw her arms around his neck. She longed for his kisses and his passion. He had to have passion, didn't he? Somewhere beneath that stern facade, there had to be something smoldering, right? If not, she was prepared to smolder enough for the two of them.
Except they weren't married, and Mrs. Martin might still be awake. If she tried anything with Sam, she would never hear the end of it from Mrs. Martin. But was that the real reason that she had to be chaste? Or was it an even worse fear, the fear that Sam might push her away if she tried to kiss him?
So instead of focusing on Sam's mouth, and wondering whether it could be provoked into taking a sensuous turn, Josie focused on keeping their conversation as boring and as formal as possible.
“Just going through some bills,” Josie said. “You were right, I did bid too high on those horses.”
His face clouded with the memory of that argument. He'd sold an unneeded horse, and to spite him she had gone and bought four at a heedlessly high cost. His hand had twitched something awful at the time, and it was all he could do to keep his itching fingers away from his belt. He had sorely wanted to give her something she would remember for a long time. He just wasn't sure it had been his place to do it. But he couldn't think about that now. He couldn't think about spanking her without getting real hot under the collar, and he was still trying to cool down from their strange encounter earlier in the day. It had taken him hours of hard labor to try to banish the memory of Josie resting against him on the ground, of Josie sitting so close to him in the saddle... If he let his mind wander over there again, it might completely do him in.
Instead of getting down on one knee, and telling her all the things he had been yearning to tell her, Sam took refuge in focusing on the ranch bills.
“A rare apology?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrows. “You admit you were wrong about buying those horses?”
“I always admit when I'm wrong,” Josie replied defensively.
“First time I'm hearing that,” Sam said, noting her eyes darkening as she prepared to squabble with him. But he wasn't going to let her, not when he still had something to say. “It was the wrong thing to do at the time, but they're good horses and they've been training well. With a little more time and effort, I think we'll be able to sell them at auction for a tidy enough profit.”
“Then maybe I shouldn't have apologized to you.”
Sam shook his head. “Buying those horses was definitely the wrong thing to do at the time, and you surely knew that. And buying them just to spite me was petty and immature. You came awfully close to finding yourself over my lap for that.”
“You wouldn't have dared!”
“I promised your Daddy on his deathbed that I'd keep an eye on this place, and on you. Makin
g sure you behaved yourself was surely part of that promise.”
“You expect me to believe that my late Daddy used his dying words to tell you that you could go ahead and spank me?” Josie asked, her voice becoming furious.
Spanking-- hearing those words come from Sam angered her and unsettled her at the same time. How dare Sam even think of spanking her? Josie fumed to herself. And yet, there was that funny tugging feeling deep inside herself, those odd pangs that she got whenever she thought of him taking her and punishing her.
Josie took a deep gulp, and forced herself to talk to him in a steady voice. “The auction won't be until next month though, right?”
Sam nodded. “But I can cover anything you need until then.”
“Sam! I couldn't ask you to do that!”
“Who's asking? I'm telling. Got plenty socked away over the years, and I've done what I could to make it grow. If there's a shortfall, I'd be honored to help,” Sam said, feeling a twinge of guilt at his words. His savings from his salary were surely enough to cover certain debts, but his holdings in town gave him more than enough to wipe them all clean... heck, he could comfortably quadruple the size of the ranch based on what he had saved up. But Josie'd never accept that kind of help from him unless they were married.
Sam still felt a strong pull to get down on one knee right then and there, but now he was stuck. If only he had done so a few minutes ago. He'd missed his chance. If he asked now, Josie'd never believe that he was asking out of love. She would think he was just asking to be charitable, even though his thoughts toward her surely weren't charitable at all-- they were as warm as a man's thoughts could possibly be toward a woman.
Knowing nothing of Sam's thoughts, Josie shook her head. “That's kind of you Sam, but there's no need. I've got a plan to make it all work out.”
Yes, Josie thought to herself, the time has come for that, hasn't it? She'd hoped to wait to carry out her “Twenty-one Plan”until the day of her birthday, but that was still a few weeks away. It would have been luckier to do it when the numbers matched up exactly, but she didn't think she could hold off that long on the bills. Yes, this would work, she thought, after all, haven't I been practicing nearly every night? Her mouth curled into a secret smile. She would earn everything she needed in a few lucky hands at the Saloon. She would just have to pick a day when Sam was otherwise engaged.
Yes, it was essential that she wait until a day that Sam was off the ranch. If Sam caught her playing poker at the Saloon, she knew that would be the last and final straw. Once he got ahold of her, she knew she wouldn't be sitting comfortably for quite a long time.
Josie gulped. She could practically feel her bottom throb just thinking about being punished by Sam.
Even if she managed to go through with the game and save the ranch, she would still have to face his stern discipline. After she won the kind of money she needed, there was no way Sam wouldn't hear about it. She would accept her punishment when the time came, but right now, she ought to only think about winning, not about getting her bottom blistered by Sam's thick leather belt.
“You sure you're all right?” Sam asked, his voice softer now. “It's really no trouble for me to help you.”
“No need Sam, I'm going to get things worked out myself.”
“Well, guess that's all then,” Sam said, reluctantly lifting his hand from her shoulder. It was only after he lifted his hand up that he realized that he had let himself touch Josie's shoulder for such a long time. He was shocked by his boldness, and hoped she hadn’t noticed.
“Goodnight, Sam,” Josie called out to him as he left the room.
“Goodnight, Josie,” he called back. He was so caught up thinking about how his hand had felt resting on her shoulder, that he had barely registered that odd little smile she had given him when she was talking about her plan to take care of the debts. If he'd been more focused, he would have realized that she'd given him a vague version of that trouble-making smile of hers, the one she was prone to give when she'd been caught doing something naughty. But, Sam was lost in his own thoughts, or rather one particular thought, that had been weighing on his mind for some time now. He shook his head, as if arguing with himself, and then made up his mind for once and for all.
He couldn't keep doing this-- whatever it was that they had between them. These strange conversations where they spoke of mundane things instead of the stuff that was there, boiling beneath the surface. He wanted her in a way that was painful to himself. He wanted her in a way that was dangerous to himself. He was going to have to go find the Preacher and have a word with him tomorrow.
Sam turned back quickly on his heel, and he had such a peculiar look in his eyes that it gave Josie the mad thought that he was about to kiss her.
Instead of passionately scooping her into his arms, Sam just stood there, looking directly at her. “I've got some personal business that I need to take care of,” he said, his voice strangely hoarse. “I'll need to be off the ranch for a good part of the day.”
“Will I need to give the men their instructions?”
“No need. I'll be off early, but I'll talk to them before I go.”
Chapter 19
The feeling of Sam's hand against her shoulder lingered. Josie lifted her own hand to that now sacred spot, imagining it warmer due to his touch. How many nights had she dreamed of those big strong hands of his and what they could do to her? But darn it, Sam was a gentleman. He'd think he was defiling his late boss's daughter. She was all grown up now-- nearly twenty-one, but it was absolutely maddening that she still couldn't get him to look at her like she was a full-grown woman.
Josie was convinced that the women who worked at the Holiday Saloon didn't have a single thing that she didn't- her body curved in all the same places. The only difference was that she had something that they didn't-- she still had her virtue.
Some jewel her virginity was-- she'd happily trade it in for a chance at bliss with her muscular, square jawed tall drink of water. There was only one big obstacle there-- Sam would never accept a gift like that, no matter how willingly she gave herself to him.
Already, her new-found information from Nellie had invaded her dreams. Every night that she went to bed she had her usual nightmare about being spanked by Sam. She had resigned herself to the truth that she might never be rid of such dreams. But, now, there was more to her dreams. Somehow, after her spanking was over, Sam no longer just kissed her, his firm mouth covering hers. Somehow she was now stretched across the bed, and Sam's large, strong body was atop hers. Yes, his muscular body was covering hers, his thing pushing inside her, taking her to that forbidden place of pleasure, her body shaking under the force of his passion. It had gotten so she'd wake up hot and flustered, her legs terribly and uncomfortably damp, and feeling like she had the most ridiculous smile on her face.
Given the strange morning they had together, and riding back sharing the saddle, her bottom practically in Sam's spread lap... well, Josie expected that tonight's dream was going to be the worst yet.
Again, Josie touched her shoulder in the same place where Sam's hand had rested against her. If-- if only she had hiccuped or sneezed, his hand might have accidentally come to rest somewhere even more exciting. Yes, in her dreams Sam had touched her there too, his hand cupped over the front of her dress. That was something men liked, Nellie had explained. Men didn't just like the look of a woman's bosom, they liked to play with her breasts. Thanks to what Nellie had said about men and breasts, Josie had gone and tried things out herself in front of her mirror. As her hands explored underneath her chemise, Josie realized that having her breasts touched was something she liked too. Quite a lot.
Thinking about Sam's rough hands playing with such a delicate part of her caused a sudden rush of warmth through Josie's body. She hoped she would have another special dream about Sam when she got under the covers. Just the thought of having a dream like that caused her legs to clench together. Maybe she should have been too worried to have one of those
dreams, given the problems with her debts, but the thought of carrying out her gambling plan had left her bright eyed and euphoric.
Before she got into bed, Josie took out the pack of cards from her dresser. Yes, this would be her last practice round at home before the big game. Daddy had always said she played good enough to beat the sharps, and tomorrow she'd get her chance to prove him right.
Chapter 20
Sam took one more look at the house before he entered his cabin. He didn't like the strained look he'd seen on Josie's face, and he didn't like that she hadn't shown him those bills. That was supposed to be part of his job-- she paid him to look after the ranch. Not that he wouldn't have done it for free, but she had her pride. Well, she'd have to get over that. He'd made a promise to her daddy before he died, and he aimed to keep good on it.
He'd had his reasons for waiting-- she'd been a willful little gal, and even though she was of age to marry, he'd wanted her to have a little more growing up time first. He also wanted to give her time to warm to him more-- to think of him as a man, not just as Sam who insisted on selling off part of the herd.
It had been more than a year since he'd made said his piece to her Daddy as he lay dying. When he married, he wanted to think it was for love. He had no doubts as to his own feelings-- having to work together meant they saw each other daily. Sure, they might have their squabbles, but there was something mighty invigorating about that. And there was no denying that she had grown into a fine looking young lady. She looked like a woman, and he dreamed of knowing her as a woman. Being so close to her all the time, and her shape moving the way it did, he often found himself having to excuse himself from her presence in order to prevent an embarrassing reaction. Well, there ought to be nothing embarrassing about loving her, and once they were wed, he intended to show her just how much she meant to him.
