"I am the Morrigan," I said.
"The Phantom Queen?" Emer asked.
I nodded.
"A goddess!" Cú Chulainn exclaimed. "Come to bless our marriage bed!"
I pressed my lips together. I couldn't ever bless their marriage bed... but then it occurred to me... by forgetting the whole affair they'd both forgotten my role in it. I'd have another chance... only this time, I had to be more careful. I had to win his heart properly. I'd have to do it without deceit, without violating his union with Emer. It wasn't going to be easy—but I had an opportunity, and that was enough to give me hope.
"Yes, may your union be a blessed one," I pronounced before shifting into raven-form and flying out the window.
I had to come up with another plan... a way to bring war upon Ulster. No, not that Cú Chulainn might be harmed in any way. Quite the contrary—so that he might grow weary of his life in Ulster, that he might begin to consider... other... possibilities. But this time, I had to proceed honestly. If Doidrich returned, and I suspected I hadn't seen the last of him in his power-hungry effort to take his place at my side, all he'd have to do is expose my plans. This time I had to be sure that whatever I planned would not prevent Cú Chulainn from loving me if he were ever to discover what I'd done.
PART IV:
Cú Chulainn ◈ The Morrigan
29
"CAN YOU BELIEVE it?" Emer asked, gripping her husband by the arm. "It's glorious! And to think, it was given to Ulster on occasion to celebrate our marriage!"
Cú Chulainn nodded as he examined the majestic stud bull. Donn Cúailnge was well-known throughout the isles, but he'd never been tamed. A wild bull who, it was said, was so fertile he could multiply even the wealthiest kingdom's riches a hundredfold. But the bull was something of a legend already, the subject of a few tales that Cú Chulainn had learned in his training at Emain Macha. If the stories were true, whole wars had been fought elsewhere between kingdoms who had tried to take Donn Cúailnge into their possession.
As one famed tale went two whole armies slew one another until only three men remained of the victorious side. But the three men could not, with all their might, tame the bull. They'd won the war and lost the prize. It was a cautionary tale about the causes of war. As Cú Chulainn understood it, the tale was meant to cause one to consider the costs of war and measure them against what might be attained in a victory. If the victory is not worth the cost, or if the cost should spoil the victory, then the war should not be fought.
"It is quite a gift," Cú Chulainn said. "But once news reaches other kingdoms that we possess Donn Cúailnge..."
"Do you think they'll try to take him from us?" Emer asked.
"They most certainly will," King Conchobar said, placing his hand on Cú Chulainn's shoulder.
Cú Chulainn nearly leaped out of his boots. He didn't realize that the king had been standing behind him. "Your Highness, it is an honor."
The king nodded. "I must confess, when I thought you were going to marry a faerie, I believed that her presence was going to be a blessing to Ulster..."
"Marry a faerie?" Cú Chulainn asked, raising his eyebrows. So much as he could remember he'd only ever met one faerie before—the one who helped him tame the ríastrad. Still, so much had happened since then that he barely remembered her. He recalled the event, but when he tried to picture her, to imagine the strange faerie who'd aided him that day, his mind was completely blank. No matter, surely the king was out of his mind. King Conchobar was now advanced in years. The old man's faculties were fading by the moment. He often said strange things. Better not to press him on the point. Entertaining an old man's delusions could only breed new problems—particularly when the old man in question happened to be king.
King Conchobar waved his hand, dismissing the thought. "Never mind it. Such was not meant to be! Clearly, the gods smile on Ulster on account of your marriage to Emer! We never should have questioned it! Only a god could have tamed the great Donn Cúailnge!"
"We should prepare the other warriors," Cú Chulainn said. "Once the other kingdoms receive word that we possess the bull..."
King Conchobar laughed. "Yes, Queen Mebd of Connacht has already sent an emissary begging we permit our bull to mate with her herds."
"That was fast," Emer interjected. "The bull was brought to us just last night and this is the very first time we've ever seen him."
"She has a point," Cú Chulainn said. "How could the Queen of Connacht know we'd acquired Donn Cúailnge when we'd barely learned of it ourselves?"
King Conchobar shrugged. "Likely she'd been pursuing the bull, too. She's long been obsessed with taming him. Chances are she received word someone had tamed the bull before it was delivered to us."
"I think you should share him with her," Cú Chulainn said. "Her armies are greater than ours."
King Conchobar smiled wide and slapped Cú Chulainn on the back. "But she doesn't have a single champion who could rival our Cú Chulainn! If she'd thought she could take him from us she wouldn't have bothered to ask that we share him with her. She's making her request from a posture of desperation. Which is why I am confident in my refusal of her request."
"Are you serious?" Cú Chulainn said. "She will attack eventually. If what you say is true, that she's spent years trying to acquire the bull, do you think for a moment she's going to give up because Donn Cúailnge has come into our possession?"
"When she attacks, we will prevail."
"But at the cost of how many lives?" Cú Chulainn had raised his voice. This was why he hated the fact that he'd been destined to be a warrior, a champion. War would come upon him and, if it were like every conflict he'd examined in the baric tales, it would be on account of someone else's greed. The King didn't want to share the bull with Queen Mebd because he wanted to keep all the bull's offspring for himself. But if she ever attacked, even if Ulster prevailed, it would not be without significant casualties. But human lives mattered less to the king than riches.
"If you fight well," King Conchobar said. "Perhaps you can take down her entire army before a single one of our warriors is lost."
"Are you insane?" Cú Chulainn asked. "You expect me to take on a whole army?"
"You've done it before," King Conchobar shrugged. "When the faerie army marched on Ulster during your wedding."
Cú Chulainn cocked his head. Again with the faeries. Cú Chulainn remembered his wedding. He remembered speaking his vows. He remembered an annoying raven cawing overhead. And he remembered lying in bed with his wife, blessed by the Morrigan herself—which, he presumed, must've been the raven who'd joined them at the wedding. But there was no battle and no faerie army. Still, once again, he dared not question a senile man, much less one who happened to be king.
"I urge you, as a humble citizen of Ulster, to consider the queen's request. What loss would it be to us to allow the bull to mate with her herds? Donn Cúailnge is said to be fertile aplenty—he could impregnate her herd and all of ours and still have enough virility to spare."
King Conchobar nodded. "Such might be what I would have done if I were still a young king, inexperienced in matters of politics. Connacht is quite likely the most powerful kingdom in all the isles, second only to Ulster. To multiply Queen Mebd's herds would allow her to keep pace with our growing strength. It would allow her to remain in contention to usurp our position in time. And since I am aging fast, and there is no telling how many more years I might protect the good people of Ulster as their king, if she has the chance at all to rival us after I am gone you'd better believe she'll take it."
"And if we do not yield to her reasonable request now she is likely to attack sooner rather than later."
King Conchobar shook his head. "The queen is bluffing, young lad. Trust me on this matter. Do your duty when called upon and allow me to worry about matters of the Kingdom."
30
MY BELOVED HATED the prospect of a life of war. He always had.
But it was more than battle itself that hau
nted my Cú Chulainn. It was the threat of it, the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders, the burden of lives contingent on his defense.
Yes, I'd lost him for a time to Emer. He seemed to love her now that the faerie had been wiped from his memories. But life with her, life in Ulster, would always be the life of a champion, the life of one on whom the security of the kingdom relied.
I'd tried to intervene before—I'd tried to complicate his relationships, to interfere with matters of the heart. But as much as he loved Emer, he hated war just as much.
So long as they remained married, I'd have to show him that he'd never be more than the very thing he'd resisted becoming since he was but a boy. He'd have to be a warrior. For, Emer would never leave Ulster. It was her home. She was not the adventurous type who'd run off with my beloved—not as he'd once fancied he might do if he were to marry Fand. Emer craved stability. She desired children.
But Cú Chulainn would never bear her children. His seed would never take hold in the womb of a plain woman like Emer. It was only because Aife was like him that she found herself with a child.
I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it all...
That I should give Ulster a virile bull, the most fertile that the isles had ever seen...
It would sting. It would water the seeds of discontent in his marriage that had been there from the start.
And, if my plan worked as I'd hoped, it would prime him to desire a bride more suited for his... unique... constitution. Not a brute, like Aife. But a goddess who would gladly open her womb to his seed.
I took it upon myself to inform Queen Mebd of Connacht that Ulster had acquired Donn Cúailnge. She would undoubtedly seek an alliance, one that King Conchobar was too stubborn in his old age to ever accept.
Still, more seeds were sown. This time, the seeds of conflict that, over time, might sprout into war.
And when it came to matters of war, I was queen.
Cú Chulainn wouldn't have a choice. He'd have to fight.
And when the time was right I'd appear to my beloved again... I'd offer him a way out... a chance to escape it all and take his place at my side to rule over the realms of both the living and the dead. What man could ever refuse such an offer?
Before, I'd tried to sever the strands that bound his heart to the women he loved quickly. This was a different approach. It would take many cycles before he'd grow weary of his marriage, tired of his role as Ulster's defender. His love for Emer would die a slow death this time... not by a great betrayal, as I'd attempted with Fand. No, this time his discontent would fester for a decade or more. He'd come to crave a new love, the sort of love only I could offer him.
31
WAR WAS COMING. Maybe not today. Probably not tomorrow. But Cú Chulainn knew it was an inevitability, eventually. So long as Donn Cúailnge remained in Ulster's possession and King Conchobar was unwilling to negotiate with Mebd's requests, it was only a matter of time before her armies would attack.
For nearly ten years Queen Mebd made her petition to King Connacht and each year the king declined her invitation. But the king, whose mental faculties had been declining steadily for the better part of a decade, had nearly lost his memories entirely. Mebd was simply waiting for her chance... a time when she could exploit Ulster's weakness under a senile king but before Ulster could replace him with a younger king who had his wits all about him.
Queen Mebd was just waiting for an opportunity.
Cú Chulainn had always trained with spears rather than blades. He found them easier to wield. His agility was one of his greatest assets. But it struck him as he got older that as his agility declined he remained strong. The spear had always treated him well. But it was time he refined his abilities with the blade.
Spears are wonderful—they can be thrown and take down an opponent from a distance. But spears are also easily broken. And, if he throws it, he'd be unarmed aside from a small dagger, if needed. So, Cú Chulainn took up Forgall's broadsword. Emer's late father had trained him with it before but, before he'd sent him away to Scotland, he'd always resisted practicing with it. Still, it seemed wise he at least develop some competency with the blade. Even with the ríastrad, he needed to be sure he'd mastered every skill possible.
Thankfully, King Conchobar was willing to send for his old sparring partner. It didn't take much convincing. Conchobar had never met Ferdiad but, to hide his senility, the king acted like anyone whom he thought he was supposed to know was like an old friend.
Ferdiad, whom the warrior-queen Scáthach had paired him with when he used to train in Scotland, was quite the bladesman. There wasn't a warrior in all the kingdom better suited to help Cú Chulainn master the broadsword than Ferdiad.
"How has Scáthach been?" Cú Chulainn asked as he shook his old friend's hand.
"As ruthless as ever," Ferdiad said. "Though she no longer trains me. She's been busy with your former lover and her child..."
"Her child..." Not a day had passed when Cú Chulainn hadn't thought about the child he'd had with Aife. How much time had passed since that affair? It seemed just like yesterday.
"He's a good kid," Ferdiad said. "Quite the warrior. And he seems to have acquired his mother's... abilities..."
Cú Chulainn shook his head. "Emer and I are unable to produce children. I wonder, to this day still, if it was only because of the fact that Aife and I..."
"Because you were both... wolves?" Feridad asked.
Cú Chulainn nodded. "I wonder if that's why we were able to produce a child... if for some reason I cannot breed with other, you know, normal humans."
Feridad shrugged. "It's possible, I suppose."
"But the boy is now training with Scáthach, too? Isn't he too young for that?"
Feridad laughed. "By his appearance, you'd think he twice his age. Your son is taller than you, Cú Chulainn."
Cú Chulainn cocked his head. "How is that even possible..."
"Maybe it has to do with the blessing of the ríastrad. But that boy has grown more quickly than any child I've ever seen."
Cú Chulainn smiled. "A part of me wishes to meet him. But Aife would never allow it. And I don't know how Emer would feel about that."
Feridad nodded. "Probably best you never meet him. That woman... she's poisoned him against you, Cú Chulainn. She's used her hatred of you to fuel him, to make him as fierce and ruthless as she ever was."
"I really wish you hadn't told me that, my friend."
"It's best you never know and avoid the boy, Cú Chulainn. Take my word for it."
Cú Chulainn nodded. "Anyway, I could use some help mastering the broadsword. It's never been my weapon of choice."
"Well that's why I came from Scotland, isn't it?" Feridad smirked, "I should say, it's about time you've come around. Spears are for pansies."
"Excuse me? I've taken you down with my spear alone more times than I could count."
"Correction. You used to... but since you've left, I've had no one to train with aside from Aife..."
"And my son?"
Feridad nodded. "And training with the likes of them... it makes you better."
"And training with me didn't make you better?
Feridad smiled widely. "You always held back. When I sparred with Aife it always felt like I was genuinely fighting for my life."
"Restraint was never one of her virtues," Cú Chulainn smirked. "But let's see if you're better for it. Take up your arms. Let's see if I've still got what it takes to drop you in less than a ten count."
Feridad scrunched his brow. "How about a fifteen count?"
"You would grant me a handicap on account of my age? I can still down you in ten."
"I'm suggesting how much time I'll give you to try and take me down before I down you in five!"
32
EVERYTHING WAS GOING according to plan.
My beloved had trained for war. He expected it. He obsessed over the possibility...
Meanwhile, his marriage was strained. No children. He har
dly had time for Emer. Not that he was busy fighting wars or battles—not a single army had dared attack Ulster. It wasn't that other kings and queens didn't want to take the stud bull from Ulster. Many did, though only one of them was gaining power and strength relative to Ulster that she might rival Ulster.
I first appeared in Queen Mebd's chambers, taking the solitary queen by surprise.
"Guards!" the queen shouted.
I raised my hand and maintained my composure. "There is no need for that. I am not a threat to you."
"Who are you?" Mebd asked. Connacht wasn't, traditionally, a pious kingdom. Few in Connacht believed in the gods at all. It was no surprise the queen would think I was but a common intruder, despite my divine appearance.
"I am the Morrigan, goddess of death and war."
Mebd sighed and her shoulders sank. "And you've come for me..."
I cocked my head. "It is not your time to die. I've come to aid you in your quest to overcome Ulster."
Mebd took a deep breath, likely out of relief that I hadn't come to claim her life. "How might you help? Ever since King Conchobar acquired Donn Cúailnge Ulster's wealth has grown beyond compare in all the Isles. And more than that, he has a warrior who has been blessed with the ríastrad. Even if I raised up an army to rival Ulster's, how would I ever acquire a champion to rival theirs?"
I heard several footsteps echoing outside Mebd's quarters. "I'll tell you. But you must send your guards away."
I quickly shifted into the shape of a fly and buzzed around the room.
Three men, spears in hand, burst into the room. "You've called us, my queen?"
"False alarm," the queen said. "I thought I'd heard an intruder but have now realized it was but a dream. My apologies, good sirs..."
"It is always an honor, your Highness," one of the soldiers replied.
Gates of Eden: Starter Library Page 128
